by Jeane Watier
“That’s amazing,” Jenna shook her head. “Your attitude is amazing.”
“I did grieve.” Rachael didn’t want Jenna to think she didn’t experience negative emotions. “I let myself feel the pain of losing him, and I even felt angry for a while. But I’d come so far; I couldn’t stay in those low emotions. I had to find a way to feel better, and I knew how to move up the emotional scale, so I just continued to work at it.”
“So what happened with the house?”
“I was so shaken up the first few days that I didn’t even think about it. Then Dad’s lawyer called and told me that the house had been left to me in the will. There was an insurance policy on the mortgage so it was completely paid off.
“His assets were frozen by the bank to pay off debts and cover funeral costs. All that was left were a few personal effects—at least that’s what I thought. Two months ago, I got a check from the lawyer for the final settlement of Dad’s estate. It turned out the funeral expenses were covered by his auto insurance and his house sold for more than expected. I offered to split the money with my sister and brother, but they wouldn’t take any. I’ve always wanted to travel, so I decided to spend some of it on a trip. Gail and I are booked to go on a Caribbean cruise in February.”
“That’s amazing,” Jenna repeated. She was obviously impressed by the story, but Rachael could see questions forming. “I’m just not sure I understand how you created all that just by your thoughts.”
“It was a co-creation. I would never have wanted my father to die just so I could have these things, but I think he was ready to go—we found out afterward that he had cancer. It hadn’t been diagnosed, but I think he must have known. And I was ready to have a house and to travel, so the Universe granted both our desires.”
“I want to have that kind of faith.”
“I think it starts with a belief that everything will be okay, that someone is looking out for your best interest, but it’s more than that. You have to believe in your own worthiness. You have to understand that you’re an active player in this. We get to decide what we want in life,” Rachael stressed. “We are the leading edge of all that God is. The decisions we make are perfect, and the Universe is thrilled to take care of the details.”
“So how do I feel worthy?”
“It’ll happen over time. Just allow it to come to you, and don’t beat yourself up if you notice it’s not happening right away.”
“I don’t mean to be, but I’m so hard on myself,” Jenna sighed. “It’s like something inside of me is doing the talking. I just meekly listen and accept whatever I hear.”
“I read once about the inner critic. It’s really just a conditioned way of thinking,” Rachael explained. “It may start by others criticizing us or by listening to others who are hard on themselves, but for whatever reason we begin to think critical thoughts, and it becomes a habit.”
“One way to deal with it is to visualize this inner critic. Give him a name. Tell him he’s not allowed to talk to you that way. Tell him to go away. Tell him you won’t listen to him anymore.”
“That makes sense,” Jenna responded with a grin. “Like it’s someone other than you.”
“Imagine him slinking off into the corner.” Rachael was having fun with the analogy, so she played it up even more. “Feel the power you hold over him. He’s afraid of you. He was only acting up because you weren’t paying attention. He could say whatever he wanted, but now you’re watching, and you won’t let him get away with it anymore.”
“I love that,” Jenna laughed. “I’m definitely going to try that.” After a moment, she added, “It’s like someone else being mean or rude to me. I just don’t have to put up with it.”
“Exactly.” Rachael could see that the wisdom had come at just the right time for Jenna to hear and accept. A miracle was happening, and Rachael was thrilled to have front row seats.
“That’s the worthiness thing!” Jenna started to get excited. “I think I get it. I am worthy, and I don’t have to put up with anyone treating me badly anymore, especially my inner critic.”
“We can be our own worst enemy.”
“That’s true. No one’s ever said, ‘I hate you’ or ‘you’re stupid’—at least not that I can remember, but I’ve said those words to myself,” Jenna admitted.
Rachael had started to clear the dishes, but she stopped and addressed Jenna. “Jenna, you’re a remarkable person; you’re lovely inside and out; you’re intelligent and extremely kind. I’m going to remind you of that every chance I get.”
“I can’t thank you enough for how much you’ve helped me already.”
“It’s a co-creation,” Rachael smiled. “We’re in this together.”
~
Jenna awoke in Rachael’s spare bed, feeling better than she had in a long time. Something magical had taken place inside of her, and she could feel the difference. She wasn’t the same person she’d been a day ago. As she walked into the living room wearing the robe and slippers she’d borrowed, she saw Rachael curled up on the sofa, looking through magazines, drinking tea. “Decorating magazines?” she smiled. They’d stayed up late the night before, talking. Around eleven, they’d gotten to the subject of decorating, and then they totally lost track of time.
“Good morning,” Rachael smiled back. “Yes, you inspired me last night. I couldn’t wait to get up this morning and dig out these magazines. I remembered a picture that I saw in one, and it gave me an idea for my bedroom.”
“Great. Let’s have a look.” Jenna sat down on the sofa beside Rachael.
“I bought a new mattress and box spring, but it looks so plain. I want to get a decorative bed frame, something like this.” She showed Jenna a picture of an antique-looking, iron frame. The bed in the picture was done up in crisp white linens and lace. “This is the look I want. It’s so soft and romantic. But what else do you think I could do to coordinate the look in the whole room?”
“I would have ornate furniture with lots of detailing. Antiques would be perfect, but you can get new pieces that have that aged look. You could put up some wallpaper, something with a delicate print. I’d have billowy lace curtains with blinds underneath for privacy.” Jenna felt herself elevated to a new high. Having always been fascinated by the topic, she had absorbed everything she’d seen in magazines and on decorating shows. Now she could talk about decorating all day. “If you do decide to take the carpets out and have the hardwood refinished like we talked about, I’d put down a patterned rug like the one in this picture. It has a lovely faded grandeur. And if the room’s big enough, you could create a reading corner,” Jenna added. Ideas were swarming in her mind.
“I really like that idea. I kept a chair and a dresser of my dad’s along with this sofa. The rest, I donated to charity. The chair would have to be re-covered. I kept it because I liked the shape, and it’s comfortable. I’ve thought of getting the dresser refinished, too. Let me show you.”
Rachael led the way to her bedroom and pointed out the chair that had been her dad’s. It was a high wingback chair with carved legs and a button back. It looked very old and worn, but Jenna saw its potential. “This chair is great. The seat cushion will have to be re-stuffed. It probably still has the original horsehair in it. With new upholstery, it will look amazing, and the style is just right for the Victorian look you want in here.”
“Is that what it’s called? That’s so perfect! My grandmother’s name was Victoria; she was my dad’s mom. These pieces originally belonged to her.”
“Is everything always perfect in your world?” Jenna hadn’t meant to sound sarcastic, so she quickly apologized. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I’m just taking all this in. It seems almost too good to be true, and yet I see the evidence of it in your life.”
“I’ve spent a lot of time imagining my world the way I want it to be,” Rachael explained, conviction apparent on her face. “I say it all the time: ‘My world is perfect,’ and ‘I love my life.’ That�
�s the reality I’m creating for myself. It really does work,” she asserted. “It’s a powerful, Universal principle that’s available to everyone. There’s one thing I should mention, though,” she added. “I started saying those things before they were evident in my life. You’ve heard the saying, ‘I’ll believe it when I see it.’ Well, this teaching works the opposite. You begin to see evidence once you truly believe—believe this is how the universe works, believe you can have anything you want, and believe you’re worthy to receive it.”
“But how do you believe, when your reality is so far from what you want?”
“It takes practice,” Rachael replied. “If you say things your rational mind knows aren’t true, you’ll feel like a phony, pretending to be something you’re not. But if you can find a statement that has a nugget of truth for you or is true in one area but not another, your mind can latch on to it. Little by little, your mind begins to accept those statements as truth in all areas of your life because it hears them over and over.”
“So I just say, ‘my life is perfect’ and ‘I love my life,’ and everything will change?” Jenna wasn’t getting it; her mind still wanted to argue.
“Maybe those words are too big of a jump for you right now. I think you should start with your basic identity.”
“My identity?”
“Do you know what ego is?”
“Of course,” Jenna answered, wondering why Rachael was asking her such a basic question. “It’s thinking better of ourselves than we really are or feeling superior to others around us.”
“That’s part of it. It’s a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance. But it’s also the part of us that connects the conscious and the unconscious. It’s responsible for testing reality and creating our personal identity. The problem is, it tends to base that identity on what we look like, what people think of us, how much money we make, or where we live.”
“But we are all those things, aren’t we?” Jenna objected. “How can we pretend we’re not?”
“That’s not who you really are. If your identity is based solely on those external things, then you give your power away, and you have no control over what happens to you. Your identity is what you believe about yourself. How you feel about yourself stems out of that belief system. Jenna,” she stressed, “you are a magnificent Being. You have access to all the power, love, abundance and well-being of the Universe. You’ve come here with strong desires to be the creator that you know you are. You’re just beginning to wake up and now you have so much living to do. There’s nothing that you can’t be, or do, or have.”8
“I want to believe that.”
“You’re already starting to remember. It’s a big step from where you were yesterday. That’s where anger has helped you. From anger, blame felt better. As you continue up the emotional scale, you might feel frustrated or overwhelmed. From there you can reach for hope, and once you arrive at hope, things start to open up; changes start to happen.”
“Something has changed. I could feel it when I woke up this morning.”
“You’re not the same person you were yesterday,” Rachael smiled. “So much has changed because you remembered. You got a glimpse of who you really are. You can never go back now.”
“But I have to go back.” Jenna felt a knot form in her stomach as she thought about the reality of her situation. “I have to face Geoff.”
“You’ll go home, and you’ll face him, but it’s a different ‘you’ than when you left,” Rachael replied. “You’ll feel different as you talk to him, and he’ll probably even notice a change in you.”
“You’re right.” Jenna was astonished by all that had happened in just twenty-four hours. “It’s because I don’t feel so powerless anymore.”
“And because of that, the outcome will have to be different than it would have been…” Rachael emphasized, “because you’re different. You’re moving up the emotional scale,” she smiled. “You’re taking control.”
“I think I can do this,” Jenna took a deep breath. “I think I’m ready.”
“I know you can do it,” Rachael assured her. “You’ll be just fine.”
Chapter 13
After Jenna left, Rachael reflected on the events of the past two days. Life was full of synchronicities. The more she became aware of them and expected them, the more they showed themselves to her. She couldn’t wait now to share everything with Gail. Picking up the phone, she entered Gail’s number. A gravelly voice answered the phone. “Hello.”
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Rachael teased. “It’s almost noon. I can’t believe I woke you.”
“That’s what Sunday mornings are for,” Gail yawned. “You should try it sometime.”
“Well, maybe one day, but life is just too exciting to spend it sleeping right now.”
“Is this just your usual excitement we’re talking about, or is there something new I should know?”
“Oh, definitely new.”
“What happened? Is this about Mr. Perfect?” Gail’s voice had raised an octave indicating she was wide awake now. “Tell me,” she demanded.
“Okay, okay,” Rachael laughed at Gail’s impatience. “It very well could be about Mr. Perfect. Do you want me to tell you over the phone, or can we get together.”
“I’d really love an excuse to get out of here today,” Gail whispered. “Rob’s mom is coming over this afternoon.”
“How are things going with that situation?”
“I can’t talk right now. Do you want to meet at Trophies? Say twelve-thirty?” She paused. “No, better make it one o’clock.”
“Perfect,” Rachael smiled. She wasn’t going to suggest meeting there, but introducing Gail to Brian would be in interesting way of breaking the news. She got ready quickly and left in plenty of time, hoping to talk to Brian before Gail arrived. As she walked into the pub, Rachael glanced toward the bar, but Brian wasn’t there. A young man she hadn’t seen before was steaming a latte. Feeling slightly disappointed, she went and found a table.
Gail arrived a few minutes later. “So…” She sat down in the seat across from Rachael and leaned forward eagerly. “Let’s hear it.”
“I met the bartender. His name is Brian.”
“The bartender here? The cute one?” Gail turned to look as she asked.
“I was hoping he’d be here today; I could have introduced you.”
“How did you meet? We were just here on Friday...you met him since then?”
“After you left, he came over and we ended up talking for almost an hour. I thought he might get in trouble for neglecting his job, but it turns out he owns the place.”
“No way!”
“And that’s not the best part,” Rachael continued. “The reason he wanted to talk to me was that he overheard us discussing the Law of Attraction last week.”
“Why am I not surprised?”
“And then I ran into him at the park yesterday morning.” Rachael stopped and smiled. “He was there with his dog.”
They both laughed. Rachael was glad that Gail was such a positive friend. She always listened and encouraged, and Rachael knew that Gail would be truly happy for her.
“Wow,” Gail shook her head. “You should write a book about all the remarkable things that keep happening to you.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“So did he ask you out?”
“He asked if he could call me sometime. A friend told him about this movie—it’s supposed to be about the Law of Attraction. He wants to...”
“What’s he like?” Gail interrupted. “What all did you talk about? Is he rich? Does he like to travel?”
“Whoa, slow down!” Rachael loved Gail’s enthusiasm, and she was having fun making her guess. “I just met him.”
“He’s got to have something special about him; you won’t date just anybody.”
Rachael told Gail about their conversation at the park, about Brian’s brother and about the significance of the trophies. �
�There is something about him—and not just that he’s interested in my favorite subject; it’s more than that. There’s a depth to him. He seems sensitive and caring. I love the way he wants to keep his brother’s memory alive and the way he talks about his dogs.”
Just then, Rachael noticed Brian behind the bar talking to the other man. He smiled as he saw her.
“He’s here,” Rachael whispered to Gail. “He’s coming over.”
“We meet again,” he declared, looking pleased.
“Hi,” she said, smiling back at him. “Brian, this is my friend Gail.”
He shook Gail’s hand and then turned back to Rachael. “I tried calling you before I left home, so you’ll have a message on your machine when you get back. That movie is still showing, and I wondered if you’d like to go and see it this week.”
“I’d love to,” Rachael replied. He was still standing, so she offered, “Do you want to join us?”
“Thanks anyway, but my family’s expecting me. I just stopped in to check on things. Phil’s new.” He gestured to the young man behind the bar. “I usually take weekends off. The guy that worked here when I bought the place finally retired. He’s been doing weekends for me for the last few years, but now he’s moved to the coast to be near his daughter.”
“I hope the new guy works out for you.”
“Thanks. I’ve always had great staff here. It’s what’s made this place such a success.”
Rachael wanted to add that his positive outlook on life and his obvious love for the place were huge factors as well, but she saw him glance at his watch.
“I really have to go. It was great seeing you again,” he said to Rachael. To Gail, he added, “It was nice meeting you.” Then he turned back to Rachael, his smile causing her heart to do that now familiar skip. “I’ll give you a call later. Will you be home this evening?”
