Bright Lights: Book One of the Talia Shaw Series

by Darcy, Christine J

  “You’re okay?” I said. Needing to hear it.

  He nodded. “Just knocked out. Are you okay?”

  “I think so,” I said. I felt the same violent pain in my head that I’d felt before. In a slightly different spot. My arms and my legs felt perfectly fine. I reached up to my head.

  Laurie grabbed my hand. “Don’t touch.”

  “Why?”

  “You have stitches. Ten of them.” I groaned a little. “Are you in pain?” he asked. I shook my head, starting to get upset and hating myself for it.

  “What’s wrong?” Laurie asked, a fearful look on his face.

  “I don’t want another huge scar.” My stupid vanity. The first one was well-hidden by my hair line, but this pain felt lower on my forehead.

  He smiled at me but then it turned sad.

  “What?” I asked. He shook his head. He was getting upset. “Laurie? What is it?”

  “I’m so sorry,” he said, finally.

  “No, it’s not your fault,” I said, gripping his hand.

  “It is. I was trying to get away from those bastards. I didn’t see the car. I’m so sorry.”

  “Laurie, it wasn’t your fault. I was there. I saw exactly what happened. And, I’m fine.”

  Laurie swallowed. “Your Mom called so I answered. I told her I’d call her back when you woke up. She sounded really scared. Do you want me to fly her over?”

  “No, I’ll call her.”

  He handed me the phone and stepped out of the room. I could hear how scared she was as soon as she answered. I assured her I was fine. She forced me to tell her everything that happened. I tried to understate it as much as possible. “I can’t believe I had to see it on the news,” she cried.

  “I’m sorry, Mom.”

  “Why can’t I come over there?” she asked.

  “Because I’m fine. And I’ll be home in a few weeks anyway.”

  “You swear you’re okay?” she asked.

  “It’s just a bump on the head,” I lied. I could feel the pain in my chest, the whiplash, more intensely then. “I have to go,” I said as Laurie appeared at the doorway with two cups of coffee.

  “Okay. Well call me later then. And, feel free to change your mind. I can be right over.”

  I hung up.

  Laurie came in and handed over a coffee. He still had that same guilty look on his face. I touched his cheek. “Don’t,” I said.

  We were lucky. There were witnesses who saw the cars following us dangerously close and Laurie had been just under the limit. It was another big story. Another lecture from Manny and Katie but at least we were both okay.

  He took me home later that day and stayed for the next week. He changed my bandages and cooked for me. I could get around fine. It was just a few stitches. But he insisted. On a Friday night I got a call from Jeremy looking for Laurie. Laurie came home a couple hours later with bags of food.

  “I’m sorry I’m late. I brought tacos.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. How’s the head?”

  “Fine. Where were you?” I asked, casually.

  “With Jeremy. Sorting through some things at home.”

  I furrowed my brow. “Jeremy called looking for you a couple hours ago.”

  He laughed a little, guilty. “I had a thing,” he said. “I wasn’t with some girl, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  “Then why can’t you tell me?” I asked, trying not to raise my voice.

  “Because it’s private,” he answered, defensively.

  “Laurie, please just tell me,” I pleaded. “It’ll drive me insane.”

  He looked at me a while. He looked at the bandage still wrapped around my head. It was guilt then that made him tell me. “You can’t tell anyone,” he insisted. I nodded. “Swear.”

  “I swear.”

  “Do you remember Marley?” I started to get upset. Was he cheating on me with his ex? He rushed to explain, “I’m not with her. She’s my acting coach.”

  “What?” I asked, confused.

  “My acting coach,” he said again, embarrassed.

  “Oh,” I said, carefully. “I didn’t realise how serious…”

  “It’s not something I’m talking to people about,” Laurie said, running a hand through his hair. “It’s more for fun right now.”

  “That’s great, Laurie,” I said.

  “Thanks,” he said, still embarrassed.

  “I’d love to see you act,” I said, encouragingly. With all his charisma, how could he not be incredible?

  Laurie shook his head. “Just don’t tell anyone, okay?”

  “I won’t,” I assured him. “Why all the secrecy?”

  “It’s just kind of lame, isn’t it? A singer going into acting. It’s a gimmick.”

  “I don’t think you should worry about that, Laurie.”

  He nodded. He took the spot beside me and looked at the television. I assumed he was done talking about it. I felt bad for assuming the worst. He cared about my, why couldn’t I ever feel secure in that?

  * * *

  Grammy campaigning was tiring. There were interviews, which felt like a repeat of all the interviews for the release, except this time they asked how it felt to be a Grammy Nominee. It felt amazing, I told them. We had photoshoots with outrageous outfits like a giant puffy pink gown that felt like a heavy cloud. I had fittings with Ari and discussions with Manny about press required after a win. I told him I didn’t want to think about it till I had it. No point getting my hopes up.

  After three weeks of it, I was headed home for Christmas. Laurie had stayed over the night before my flight. It was a red eye but Laurie woke up to see me off.

  He walked me to the door where Leif had gone to warm up the car. “I’ve got something for you.” He held a gift out for me. A small box wrapped in red paper with a white ribbon.

  “You can give it to me on New Year’s,” I said, pushing it back to him.

  “I want you to open it on Christmas.”

  “Really? But I haven’t got yours yet.”

  “That’s okay. Give it to me on New Year’s.”

  I nodded. “I’ll see you soon then.”

  “See you soon.” He kissed me, deeply, looked quickly at the fading scar on my forehead and give it a kiss too, then left. There wasn’t much I could say to shift that guilt from him.

  Leif got my luggage out of the car and I gave him his gift. A bonus. It was hard to know what the right amount was. I gave him a cheque for $10,000.

  “No way,” he said, ready to tell me to take it back.

  “Please Leif. You’ve saved me so many times now,” I said. I hugged him tightly, hoping it would let him understand how much I appreciated him.

  “Thank you, Talia,” he said as I let go.

  “Merry Christmas,” I said.

  “Merry Christmas,” he returned. I walked in to the airport.

  * * *

  Manny had given me some pills for the plane. I told him about the Los Angeles to New York flight and he thought they’d help. They did. They practically knocked me out along with the champagne given on arrival to first class. My heart beat just enough to know I was living. I didn’t like not feeling a thing but it was better than the alternative.

  Mom and Dad met me at the airport. They were shocked by the photographers taking our photo at pickup, but they didn’t say anything about it. The drive home was filled with chatter. Mostly by Mom.

  “Where is Saffy?” I asked.

  “She didn’t tell you? She and her family are away. Down South. For Christmas.”

  I nodded. We hadn’t talked in so long, she hadn’t told me. At least that meant I wouldn’t have to avoid her. I hated myself for the thought but just being in that house felt awful. Even in the spare bedroom, where, despite the lack of physical reminders of them, felt like a reminder.

  Christmas was quiet. The same as it always was. I expected more of a reaction from the gifts. I gave Dad a Tesla and Mom a dozen vouc
hers to all the best spas, hairdressers, stores in the city. We were a small family with limited means before, now I could give them things they’d always wanted but it seemed like they didn’t want them.

  “We just don’t need these things. We’d rather see you more,” Dad explained.

  * * *

  I called Laurie Christmas night. He didn’t answer. He called me back in the morning.

  “Thank you for my gift,” I said. It was a charm bracelet, silver with two charms, a kombi van – I guessed to symbolise our road trip – and some kind of green stone. I thought it was beautiful. Mom’s eyes had widened when I’d opened it.

  “Looks expensive,” she’d said. I didn’t know about that. I wondered if he’d picked it out himself.

  “You’re welcome,” he answered. There was some movement in the background. He seemed distracted.

  “What time is your flight?” I asked.

  He let out a breath. “I can’t come.”

  “Why? What happened?” I said, immediately.

  “Just work stuff. Talking about a tour next year. I’ve got all these meetings.”

  “It can’t wait? It’s just a couple days. It’s New Years. Who’s even working?” I argued.

  He apologised, “I really am sorry. I wanted to spend it with you.”

  I tried not to be bothered. I knew who he was. I knew the career he had and it wouldn’t stop for anything. But I wanted to spend it with him, too. Our first New Year’s together. “It’s fine. I’ll see you back in LA,” I said, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

  “Okay,” he said. “I miss you,” he offered, and I melted a little.

  “I miss you, too” I answered. “Will you call me? Before it strikes midnight?” I asked.

  “Yeah, of course.”

  * * *

  He hadn’t called me. There was only 10 minutes till the clock would strike midnight, I thought we had sorted everything out. That he didn’t want us to date anyone else. That it didn’t matter what craziness surrounded us. He wanted to be with me. I had always felt anxious about us. But things had kept going, way further than I imagined they could. I had started to feel secure. But maybe I was deluding myself.

  I’d been devastated before. Laurie was just a boy. Just a first love. I’d lost two of my best friends in a plane crash that almost killed me, too. It shouldn’t even be comparable. But it was. I didn’t want to think about it.

  Saffy was away still for New Year’s so I went to a party with a group of girls who I’d been friends with at school. I was sure it was a pity invite and I’d spent half the night fielding questions about the life I was living in LA, and about Laurie. At least they weren’t asking me about Kelly and Ashley.

  I stood on the balcony of the high-rise hotel room they’d booked overlooking the harbour to wait for a call that might not have been coming at all.

  At the clock ticked down more and more people came out onto the balcony to watch the fireworks. I didn’t know when all my old friends had coupled up the way they seemed to be in that moment, all looking directly at each other. Even the single girls had partnered up at some point. I looked at my phone again. Nothing.

  Where are you, Laurie, I thought to myself. A commotion sounded in the living room. The crowd on the balcony all turned to look inside. A group were standing around, huddled close to something. I thought someone had drunkenly fallen over. I stepped inside to see what was going on and as I moved closer I saw the figure in the middle of the group, politely apologising for pushing through them all as he searched the room with his eyes. Finally, they clapped on me.

  He pushed through them, not stopping to apologise. “What are you—” He cut me off with a kiss. I put my hands in his long dark locks. They were a little wet with sweat, like he’d been running.

  “I had the wrong room,” he said, as he pulled away, looking into my eyes. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” I said back, unconsciously, I was still trying to get my bearings. What was he doing there?

  Suddenly I became conscious of the counting down. 10, 9, 8, the people who were so fascinated with Laurie seemed to forget him for just a few seconds and everyone moved to the balcony to see the fireworks explode.

  Laurie and I stayed still and soon we were completely alone in the room, staring at each other as the last few numbers ticked off, 3, 2, 1. I smiled brightly as he whispered, “Happy New Year, Love.” He moved in and I wrapped my arms around him waiting for his lips. Instead, he grabbed my back and the base of my neck and dipped me down like something out of a 50’s movie before kissing me. I was half laughing through the kiss before being swept away by it.

  He pulled me back up just as the fireworks were really getting going. I didn’t have time to ask him how he was there, how he found me, I knew I’d find out later. I just wanted to watch the fireworks with him. I took his hand and pulled him to the doorway to the balcony. He stood behind me, hands wrapped around me as the fireworks shot up into the air and exploded into a celebration of colour and light.

  Ten

  I tossed and turned all night. I couldn’t shut my brain off. I tried not to think that within hours I’d be in a room with people I’d admired my whole life. Like Phera, arguably the biggest and best singer in the world. Or the Grander Brothers, whose country music was so energetic and unique and magical. I tried not to think about the fact that Laurie couldn’t be by my side at my first ever Grammies. He was across the country playing at a music festival. I hadn’t even spoken to him in days. Even then it had been the quickest of phone calls.

  He’d stayed with me in Sydney for New Year’s Day. We slept in a hotel room he’d secured in the same hotel as the party until after 1pm. I gave him his gift, a guitar pick owned by Elvis Presley. I’d been keeping it in my wallet. Laurie loved it. Then I showed him the beach and some of my favourite Sydney hideaways from the safety of the car before I had to take him back to the airport to fly back to LA and keep working on his tour. He didn’t have a chance to meet my parents. He said he wished he could but I wasn’t sure I believed him. Did guys ever like to meet the parents? I appreciated the effort it took to even come all the way to Sydney in the first place. He had taken time away from work so we could have that night together and I loved him for it. Though I was still keeping that card close to my chest.

  I grabbed my phone from my bedside table, sensing that my alarm was about to go off. It started vibrating and I shut it off before it could blare.

  I went straight to the gym for an hour with Per, as I’d been doing the three weeks leading up to the event. The dress Ari had picked out was the tightest thing I’d ever worn and I was hoping those three weeks’ worth of weights and cardio would loosen it a little. It was an icy blue ball gown with a corseted waist. It was like something out of a Disney movie. I felt like Cinderella. I had talked Ari out of a much larger white dress with a train over nine feet long. She wouldn’t budge on the ball gowns.

  “Don’t you have anything simpler? I don’t want to stand out so much,” I had said.

  “It’s your first ever Grammies and you have five nominations. You need to look loud.” I wasn’t entirely sure what looking loud had meant until she rolled in the ginormous, brightly coloured ball gowns.

  Then came four security guards from three different jewellers each of them guarding half a dozen boxes of accessories. I couldn’t fathom the amount of money in my living room at that time.

  We tried different gowns with different jewels but as soon as we’d decided on the blue dress, the jewels were easy. Ari and I agreed. There was a v-shaped diamond cluster necklace that shone blue and brighter than any of the others. It came with simple cluster stud earrings and a cluster diamond ring. Ari completed the look with silver strappy heels and warned me that I wasn’t to have a clutch or handbag of any kind. “What about my stuff?” I asked.

  “What do you need stuff for?” she replied.

  Vienna arrived and did my makeup, simply. Maybe she had started to understand what I preferre
d or maybe she had seen the dress I was going to wear and knew it was enough drama on its own.

  As Megan finished my hair, slicked back and falling in soft waves, Laurie sent me a text wishing me good luck. We never did talk about him going with me like he said we would. It was just understood that he wasn’t. I asked Teddy but he didn’t like these kinds of things. Then I asked Lucy. She showed up half way through my hair and makeup, to get her own done. She wore a black velvet off the shoulder gown with a huge thigh split. It looked like vintage old Hollywood glamour with the edgy twist of her tattoos. It suited her perfectly.

  “You look incredible,” I offered.

  “Thank you. You paid for it,” she teased. I laughed.

  Leif brought In and Out so that we would be fed for the show. We ate together as Lucy got her hair and makeup done. Her hair was done up in a very tight ponytail and her makeup looked gothic and darkly sexy.

  “You look fantastic,” I said, through a bite of burger.

  “Do not spill on that dress. Do you hear me?” Ari said, packing away the other options. I had a towel draped over me to avoid that specific thing, but I nodded assuredly anyway.

  “Can we get some pictures for Instagram?” Vienna asked.

  “Of course,” I said. “You guys have done such an incredible job. Thank you so much.”

  Vienna nodded then said, “Relax your face.”

  All of them got pictures of me, in different places around the room, searching for the perfect light. “Look down. Don’t look at me,” Vienna said. I hadn’t realised it would be a photoshoot.

  “You should stand like this,” Ari said, putting one leg behind the other and holding one arm to her side. “Legs together will give you more height.”

  “I already have height,” I insisted.

  “Both arms work too,” she said, bringing both arms arm to her waist. “And, have your head raised. Think tall.”