Bright Lights: Book One of the Talia Shaw Series

by Darcy, Christine J

  The next day, Saffy and I drove to the airport. I directed Teddy to the pickup area and waved a hand out the window. “So, that’s Teddy,” Saffy mused.

  I got out to hug him, keeping hold of him for a little too long. “Alright. Alright,” he said. “I missed you, too.”

  I climbed into the backseat and Teddy sat in the front next to Saffy.

  “Saffy, this is Teddy Murray,” I introduced them. They shook hands.

  “Great to finally meet you,” Teddy said. “Talia talks a lot about you.”

  I smiled, grateful that he’d mentioned it. Saffy lit up. “You, too,” she replied.

  “How was your flight?” I asked.

  “Fine,” he answered. “How’s being home?”

  “It’s good. How’d you know I was home?” I didn’t think the paparazzi photos could’ve gone up by the time he’d called and I was curious.

  He got quiet. “I saw Laurie at a party.”

  “Oh.” Saffy glanced at me in the rear-view.

  “He was with a girl,” Teddy continued.

  I coughed out a laugh. Saffy eyed me, pityingly.

  Teddy turned to look at me, apologetically. “I’m guessing the trip didn’t go well?”

  “It didn’t end well,” I answered, feeling the weight return to my chest. The writing had felt therapeutic, but it wasn’t enough. It still hurt so much.

  “I won’t say I told you so.”

  “You never told me not to,” I argued.

  “You couldn’t feel my disapproval?” I could. “I thought it wasn’t my place to say anything,” he continued.

  “Teddy, you’re one of my best friends. You can say whatever you want to me,” I assured him, even if hearing that Laurie had so quickly moved on felt like I had been repeatedly stabbed in the chest.

  “Can I?” he asked.

  “I do,” Saffy answered. I laughed a little.

  “So, what’s the plan?” Teddy asked, looking out the window at the water by the airport.

  “You’re not tired? We figured you’d want to nap?” I asked.

  “I napped on the plane,” he explained.

  Saffy shrugged. “Let’s do a little sightseeing?”

  “Yeah,” I answered.

  We drove Teddy through the city, showing him the parts he hadn’t seen. We drove him to the beaches, took a walk through the Botanical Gardens and the Rocks. We were stopped a few dozen times but they were both patient. Teddy was used to it. Finally, we stopped for dinner at a pub near home, where the only people who approached us were people I’d known for years. We drank a little too much and finally Saffy took us home. We made plans to hang out the day after the next and then said our goodbyes. Saffy and Teddy hugged, they had become fast friends and I was glad to see it.

  We carried Teddy’s bag, a handle each, and stumbled toward the door. Mom opened it up with a smile.

  “Nice to see you again, Teddy,” she said.

  “You too, Mrs. Shaw.”

  “You’ve both had a little to drink?” she asked.

  I put my fingers together. “Just a tiny bit.”

  “Oh sure,” Mom said, sarcastically. We walked inside to find Dad in front of the TV.

  “Good evening Mr. Shaw.”

  Teddy held a hand out. Dad took it with an easy smile. “How you doing, Teddy?” he asked.

  “Pretty good, sir.”

  “You’ll be in here,” Mom said, putting Teddy’s bag into the downstairs spare room.

  “You two hungry?” Dad asked.

  “We just ate,” I answered. “We’re going upstairs.”

  I hadn’t had a boy over and in my room while they were home before. Dad reacted to it but Mom put a hand on his arm reassuringly.

  “Nice,” Teddy said, looking at my childhood bedroom. “How’s it feel living back at home after having your own place?”

  “It’s been okay, actually.”

  “You’ve missed them,” Teddy said, not a question.

  “I have,” I answered.

  “What’s this?” he asked, wandering to my desk and picking up my notebook.

  “Lyrics,” I said, nervous to have him looking.

  “Is this all old stuff?” he asked.

  “Some of it,” I answered.

  “And the rest of it?”

  “I’ve been writing,” I admitted.

  “You have? Play me something.”

  “No… I’m drunk.”

  I took the book back. “Please?” he asked, picking up my discarded guitar and handing it over.

  I took a breath and sat at the end of the bed. Teddy sat himself on the floor in front of me. I started playing. It was the first song I’d written. In my drunken state I didn’t hold anything back. I played my heart out.

  When I was finished, Teddy looked like he was in pain.

  “Shit,” he said. “That’s brutal.”

  “You like it?” I asked.

  “It’s a fucking great song. But, it’s brutal.”

  I ducked my head.

  “Can I play you something?” he asked me.

  “Of course,” I said, handing over the guitar.

  “Where’s your drum set?” he asked, jokingly. I walked into my wardrobe and brought out a tribal drum and handed it over. “What?” he laughed. He set my guitar aside and started drumming. Then he started singing. No lyrics yet, just vocal music. He sang gently, oohs and aahs, that built with the drums. And then the lyrics came. It was about a girl. It was pained, too. We were both hurting. I guessed it was about Georgia. I felt all those things he was feeling. Waking up beside her. Imagining her with someone else. He built to the chorus. A repeat of three fierce words.

  Ooh I want her ah.

  Ooh I want her ah.

  Ooh I want her aaaah.

  He repeated those three words over and over, building and building into a guttural scream of them, bashing the drums hard until the song finished with the last line.

  She doesn’t want me.

  I’d never heard his voice like that before. So strong. Scratchy and desperate and passionate. And the song itself was moving and heroic.

  “Holy shit,” I said, shocked and in love with it. “Who did you write that for?”

  “No one. I’m probably gonna sell it,” he said. “You want it?”

  “No way. You should record that,” I said.

  “What?”

  “You should record it yourself,” I repeated.

  “I’m not a singer,” he answered.

  “You quite clearly are,” I insisted. “Have you ever tried to get signed?”

  “Yeah, I tried. When I was starting out. People preferred to buy my songs than produce them with me singing.”

  “Why? Your voice is incredible.”

  “That’s not the popular opinion. I seem to remember people having problems with my look.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “I’m not exactly a pretty boy.”

  “That’s fucking ridiculous.” He was cute. And, sweet. And, singing like that, I could imagine millions of girls falling for him.

  “Can we stop talking about this now? I’m good as I am. I’m doing fine.”

  “Teddy,” I kept going.

  “Come on, Talia. I’m tired.”

  I stopped. “Okay. Just think about it.”

  “Will do.” He set the drum aside and came and hugged me. I squeezed him tightly. “Good night.”

  “Good night.”

  He went back downstairs. I played his song in my head over and over. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t get it out and didn’t want to.

  I spent the next three days nagging Teddy to play it again for me. He refused. I think he imagined playing it for me would increase the additional nagging I was doing to get him to record the song.

  “I’m going out,” he said.

  “What? Where?” I asked.

  “I got a friend in town,” he said.

  “No, you don’t. I’m your friend in town,” I insisted.


  “I have other friends,” he argued. I figured he just wanted some alone time to explore without people approaching him on the street or the paparazzi who seemed to find us more regularly.

  Saffy and I took the opportunity to do a little shopping and then a little dinner. My phone died somewhere between the appetisers and dessert. I got home to find Teddy waiting on the stoop outside my house.

  “Did you lose your key?” I asked.

  “Did you lose your phone?” he retorted.

  “Sorry. It’s been on silent,” I said as I took out my keys.

  “Wait,” he said. He didn’t want to go inside yet. “Manny called me. I’m supposed to tell you.”

  “Tell me what?” I asked, dropping my bags on the ground.

  He waited for me to right myself. “They want you to go on tour.”

  “What? Who’s tour?”

  “What?” he replied, confused.

  “Who do they want me to open for?” I asked again.

  “No. Talia… it’s your tour.”

  “Mine?” I asked.

  “Yours,” he repeated.

  “I can’t do that,” I said, picking up my bags. He stopped me from going for the door.

  “Of course you can. You have to.”

  “I don’t have to. It’s not contracted, I’m sure of that.”

  “Not because of a fucking contract but because it’ll be one of the greatest experiences of your life.”

  I shook my head. “I’m a shaky mess up on stage. I can’t command a talk show crowd much less a stadium.”

  “You’ll be prepared. And then you’ll get used to it. Imagine all the places you’d go. The people you could sing for.”

  “Teddy, I can’t.”

  “Stop saying that. Of course you can. You’ve thought you couldn’t do any of this. And look where you are.”

  “Where am I? Hiding out at home,” I said, looking around at the house I grew up in.

  “You’ve--”

  I cut him off. “I’ve been humiliated in front of the world. I’ve had my heart broken. I’ve let myself forget my family and friends.”

  “Okay,” he said, throwing his arms up. “But what about the good things. You can’t tell me there’s none.” He started taking the bags from my shaky hands.

  “There’s been good,” I agreed. “I’m not denying that. This past year has brought me the best and worst moments of my life. But I don’t know if the good outweighs the bad. I don’t know if I want to go back.”

  “Ever?” he asked.

  “I could fade into obscurity. Plenty of people have done it.”

  “Not people with your talent. You can’t do that,” Teddy said, fiercely. “I’m not gonna let you.”

  Teddy took a few steps back. I took a couple toward him. “I don’t know, Teddy,” I said. “I don’t know.”

  He nodded, sombrely. He shifted the bags to one hand, passed by me and walked inside. I followed him.

  “Welcome home,” Mom crowed from the kitchen.

  Dad stuck his head out. “Where have you two been?”

  We sat down for dinner. Teddy talked about his day. He did meet a friend, a childhood friend from England who’d been backpacking around and recently arrived in Sydney. I couldn’t follow much more than that as I thought about what he’d told me.

  After dinner, Teddy went to shower and I went upstairs. I charged my phone and turned it on. I had a dozen missed calls and three texts from Manny. All of them saying ‘call me’ with rising levels of desperation.

  It was only 8pm so I called him. I told him that Teddy had told me everything but that I wasn’t sure. He was as insistent as Teddy that touring was something I simply had to do. I was still trying to wrap my head around singing on stage in front of thousands of people.

  “I know it isn’t in my contract and I won’t be forced. Give me time to think about it,” I said.

  “Okay,” he said, showing me that part of him that was on my side.

  He explained the details to me and told me to call him when I knew what I wanted. I lay in bed, thinking over it all, all the possibilities of what touring could be and what it would mean for me and my friends and family. And I thought about Kelly and Ashley, with whom I’d dreamed of those days. When I thought about touring before all of this had happened, I thought they would be beside me. That we’d be living on some dingy bus, travelling around to pubs and clubs and living off dry ramen noodles.

  “Can I leave you here for a bit?” I asked Teddy the next day.

  “Of course,” he said.

  I borrowed Mom’s car and drove over to Ashley’s house.

  I couldn’t bring myself to visit any of their parents before that day, but especially Nadine, Ashley’s mom. Saffy had said she wasn’t doing well.

  I knocked on the door and waited. Nadine opened the door. “Yes?” she asked.

  “Hi, Nadine,” I started.

  She opened the fly screen. “Oh my gosh, Talia, I didn’t recognise you. I’m sorry. Come in.”

  She let me through. I don’t know what I imagined I would see. Everything looked much the same as it had before. There were a few extra pictures of Ashley on the walls. Nadine had the TV on. A reality show. And, a glass of wine beside the lounge.

  “You’ve caught me in my guilty pleasure,” she admitted. “Sit down. Can I get you anything?”

  “I’m fine. Thank you.” I sat down. She sat back down in her spot.

  “It’s so nice to see you,” she said.

  “I’m sorry I hadn’t come sooner,” I started. “I was going to but then everything happened.”

  “It’s okay,” she reassured me. “You’ve been busy.”

  “How are you?” I asked.

  “Oh, I’m okay. It’s hard. I think it’s always going to be hard.” She started to get a little upset. She tutted at herself. “Sorry. I still get a little…”

  “Please,” I said. There was a tissue box on the kitchen bench. I ran to get it.

  “Thank you,” she said, dabbing her eyes. There was a knock on the door.

  “I think that might be…” she looked out the front window at the black car pulled into her driveway. She moved to the door and opened it up. A middle-aged man, grey hair and warm hazel eyes appeared. They kissed chastely in greeting and Nadine turned to introduce me.

  “Talia, this is Craig. My boyfriend.”

  “Wow. It’s nice to meet you,” I said, shaking his hand.

  “You too. You’re a hell of a musician.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I especially love Bettys. It’s our favourite.”

  Nadine ducked a little. I smiled at her. “I like them all,” she insisted.

  “It’s different from the Betty Coopers,” he continued.

  Nadine looked embarrassed again. “We listen to your old stuff sometimes.”

  I smiled again. “I was never as rock and roll as your daughter,” I said. “She was a badass.”

  Nadine smiled. “She was.”

  “I would’ve loved to meet her,” Craig said. They looked at each other and kissed chastely again, before moving back to the lounge and sitting.

  “So, how long are you home for?” she asked. “Your mother must be glad to have you back.”

  “I’m not sure yet. She seems to be. I don’t think she’ll let me go back to be honest.”

  Nadine nodded. Craig looked at his watch. “I’m sorry, do you two have plans? I just showed up unannounced.”

  “We can be a little late,” Nadine said. “It’s just a dinner reservation.”

  “No, I’m sorry. I’ll get out of your hair.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” Nadine insisted but I was already standing.

  “Nice to meet you,” I said to Craig.

  Nadine walked me to the door. We stood there awkwardly a moment and she opened her arms.

  “I’m so happy for you, lovely. You’re doing so well,” she said into my ear.

  I was grateful to hear it. “I’m so
sorry about Ashley. I never got to say.”

  “Hush,” Nadine said, grabbing my hand. “It’s okay. I know I’m not your mother or anything but I’m so proud. If Ashley was alive I know she’d be right there with you. I’m sad she missed out but I know she’d be proud of you, too.” I didn’t seem easy for her to say.

  “Thank you,” I said, tearing up.

  I hugged her again and walked out the door. We waved goodbye and I drove away.

  I drove across the suburb to the Mendel’s house, willing my tears back into their ducts. I looked in the mirror, still red. I figured there was likely to be more tears anyway. I walked toward the door and knocked. Kelly’s brother Steven appeared, in just his boxers.

  “Hi,” I said.

  “Talia. How’s it going?” he was looking at me with confusion.

  “Good. How are you?”

  “Alright. It’s been a long time.”

  “It has. I’m sorry about that,” I said.

  He shrugged. “You’ve been busy. Heck of a life you’ve been living,” he said.

  “Yeah,” I said, not able to think of another response. He moved further into the house, leaving the door open. I followed, closing it behind me. He moved into the kitchen where he was making pasta on the stove. He gave it a stir.

  “Smells good,” I said. “I didn’t know you could cook?”

  “I dabble,” he answered. I took a seat at the bench and looked into the other empty rooms of the house.

  “Where are your parents?” I asked.

  “Movies,” he said.

  “Oh. Damn.”

  He stood in front of me on the other side of the bench. “What are you doing here, kid?”

  “I… I just wanted to say hi,” I floundered.

  “Nah, that’s not it. Spit it out.” Was he always this discerning?

  “I…” I didn’t feel like I could say it. It suddenly felt so self-serving.

  “I’m not letting you go without admitting it.”

  I started crying, embarrassed, and admitted it. “They want me to go on tour.”

  He smiled at me and shook his head. “What is this then? Guilt?”