Cassandra

by Nicola Shill

  ‘Where are the rest of you lot?’ she asked him.

  ‘We all graduated while you were away.’

  Of course, Cassandra realised now. She was disappointed to have missed it. From all accounts, the graduation ceremony was a great spectacle. ‘How did it go? Was it fabulous?’

  Pax smiled and nodded. ‘Yeah, it was a good night.’

  ‘So …’ Cassandra frowned. ‘Why are you still here?’ Was that rude to ask? He hadn’t failed, had he?

  He grinned, happy to tell her his news. ‘I’m apprenticed to Ith and Iznaya.’

  ‘Oh! … That’s great!’ Cassandra tried to sound pleased. It was great … for Pax. But where did that leave her? Was she out of a job? Pax wasn’t the person to discuss it with, though, so she asked the other question that was bothering her: ‘Where’s Gita?’

  ‘She rarely comes since the accident. Even when they force her to, she just sits over there,’ Pax gestured towards a quiet corner of the yard, ‘and watches the other children play. If any of them approach her, she barely acknowledges them. Most of them have given up by now and leave her alone. That seems to be what she wants.’

  Cassandra’s heart broke a little more. Suddenly, Oonnora was sliding a maternal arm around her shoulders. Cassandra welcomed the comfort.

  Oonnora leaned forward and placed a hand on Pax’s shoulder. ‘Would you say goodbye to Iznaya and Ith for Cassandra, please?’

  Pax nodded, and Oonnora and Tani took Cassandra home.

  At the revelry that night, Cassandra was suddenly popular. Her decision to reject humanity and return to live as a fae convinced them, as nothing else could have, that she was on their side. Apparently, there was also a deliciously vague rumour going around about an affair between Lorcan and herself. It gave Cassandra a distinction she would never have been able to generate for herself. She merely smiled smugly whenever she was questioned about it, relishing the anticipation of Lorcan dropping out of the sky at any moment to publicly acknowledge their relationship.

  But he didn’t appear at all that night.

  She went home disappointed, confused, and terrified that she’d read more into their romantic journey than he had. She hadn’t actually said anything tonight to confirm that she was in a relationship with Lorcan, but she hadn’t denied it, either. If it didn’t eventuate, she would be dealing with a repeat of the Chayton humiliation.

  — CHAPTER 66 —

  Tampering with Nature

  Cassandra woke up late the next morning, at first disorientated and then delighted to discover herself swinging in her spider’s-web hammock under feather-light blankets.

  She rolled out of her hammock and flung open her wardrobe doors. She had been thankful yesterday to find her clothes all still in place. She picked out a warm, long-sleeved spider’s-web dress, which Iznaya had knitted in preparation for the coming cooler weather before Cassandra had left. During her time with the fae, spider’s web had become Cassandra’s favourite textile. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that Iznaya was always knitting from it, but also because it was warm yet breathable, strong but elastic and the weird way it seemed to be every colour at once suited her complexion especially well. She shoved her feet into the sandals that Ith had made and ran downstairs for breakfast.

  She’d missed fae food, even the odd things like seaweed and funguses, and especially fungitea, but breakfast was still her favourite meal here. She was loading jam on to her third bread roll when there was a knock on the door. She instantly pictured Lorcan on the other side, and felt a frisson of excitement as Tani opened the door.

  On the doorstep stood Ilvi looking as if she hadn’t bothered to brush her hair or even glance in a mirror between rolling out of bed and coming over.

  ‘Hi, Tani,’ she said as she swept into the house. ‘Hi, Oonnora.’ She pulled out the chair beside Tani’s, sat down and wasted no time helping herself to the food.

  Disappointment notwithstanding, Cassandra was glad to see Ilvi and eager to get out on Cupid again. ‘Do you want to go flying? I’m a bit out of practice.’ She laughed. ‘I don’t ….’ The sentence died when she noticed that Ilvi had frozen mid-chew and was looking at Oonnora in consternation.

  Oonnora nodded almost imperceptibly, giving Ilvi permission to say what she was thinking.

  ‘Cassandra, you must have realised that dragonflies only live a few months after they become adults. Even a human should know …’ Tani cut Ilvi off by ramming an elbow into her ribs.

  Cassandra drew in a sharp breath and slapped her hand across her mouth as she processed Ilvi’s meaning. Of course, she realised now, she only ever saw dragonflies in summer and early autumn; that was part of what made them so special. Now, Cupid was dead, along with the rest of the dragonflies. Cassandra had lost her beloved companion, her wings and her hope for Gita. She closed her eyes against the welling tears but it only succeeded in forcing them to overflow on to her cheeks.

  Tani stood up and moved around the table to put a comforting arm around Cassandra’s shoulders. Cassandra immediately turned and pressed her face into Tani’s body and started to sob. Tani, who had never been very good at giving comfort, patted Cassandra’s back ineffectively until Oonnora stood up and laid a hand on Cassandra’s shoulder. When Cassandra relaxed a little and loosened her grip, it gave Tani enough of an opportunity to lower herself on to a chair beside Cassandra.

  ‘What are you feeling guilty about?’ Tani suddenly blurted out.

  Ilvi and Cassandra looked at Tani in confusion, noticed the direction of her gaze and joined her in staring at Oonnora.

  ‘Me? Guilty?’ Oonnora’s look of innocence came too late.

  ‘What have you done?’ Tani asked, low and quiet.

  Oonnora sighed, sat back down, and turned to Cassandra. ‘After you left, I realised the dragonflies would die soon. It shouldn’t have mattered because you had gone, and it’s nature’s way – you know we avoid interfering too much with nature. Next year there’ll be new dragonflies for Ilvi to train, and the year after, and the year after that.’ She shrugged. ‘It’s the cycle of their lives. But I couldn’t bring myself to accept that you had gone for good, and I knew that, if you came back, you would need a dragonfly to ride.’

  Tani looked horrified and covered her mouth with her hand.

  Ilvi frowned in confusion. ‘And …?’

  ‘And … I put Cupid into hibernation,’ finished Oonnora.

  ‘Are you allowed to do that?’ asked Tani.

  ‘Well, I didn’t seek anybody’s permission, if that’s what you’re asking,’ Oonnora snapped.

  ‘No, that’s not what I’m asking.’

  ‘Okay, no! I shouldn’t have done it. Is that what you want to hear?’ Oonnora burst out angrily, but then quickly pulled herself together and said more softly, ‘I only put her into hibernation. No harm has been done … yet. I can turn it off and she’ll die naturally. That’s what I planned to do if Cassandra didn’t come back.’

  ‘And now? Will you wake her up and extend her life?’ asked Ilvi.

  ‘Now, I don’t know. It’s wrong to tamper with nature. It can …’

  ‘Please, Oonnora?’ Cassandra begged. ‘You can blame it on me.’

  ‘Yeah, blame it on the human. They tamper with nature all the time,’ Ilvi pointed out.

  Oonnora shook her head. ‘It was a bad idea,’ she admitted. ‘I shouldn’t have …’

  ‘Oh, come on!’ Tani snapped. ‘You’re halfway there and Cassandra knows about it now. I think you’re past the point of no return.’

  Oonnora made a noise low in her throat that was somewhere between a growl and a groan.

  ‘All right.’ Oonnora stood up. ‘Come on.’

  — CHAPTER 67 —

  Crazy Plan

  Oonnora had wrapped Cupid in spider’s web and hidden her under a little shelter she’d created out of branches and leaves against the side wall of her house.

  The three girls helped her dismantle the shelter and free Cupid from her s
ilky cocoon. Cassandra crouched down beside Cupid and stroked her. She looked frighteningly as though she was already dead. Oonnora crouched beside Cassandra, laid her hands on Cupid’s long, segmented abdomen and closed her eyes in deep concentration. Moments passed and nothing happened. Neither Oonnora nor Cupid moved.

  More moments, stretching torturously on into one minute …

  Two minutes …

  Tears welled in Cassandra’s eyes as she began to lose hope. She rubbed her hand over Cupid’s abdomen and began to say a silent goodbye. Oonnora’s eyes flicked open, but as she rolled back to sit on the ground, they closed again.

  Still Cupid didn’t move.

  Tears were now streaming down Cassandra’s cheeks. Oonnora didn’t look as if she was planning to try again; in fact, she appeared to have nodded off to sleep.

  Without opening her eyes, Oonnora laid a gentle hand on Cassandra’s shoulder. ‘Give her time.’

  Cassandra looked back down. Cupid’s legs were starting to twitch. She sat back on her heels and watched as Cupid suddenly stood up, launched herself into the air, and began to buzz around, up and down, side to side, giving all the appearance of an elevator on steroids. Cassandra jumped up and chased after her, waving her arms in the air and calling her name. The second Cupid landed, Cassandra leapt on.

  With Ilvi and Tani flying alongside, Cassandra knew that she would always remember this moment as one of the most joyful of her life. She told Cupid to land, jumped off and ran back to Oonnora.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said, kneeling down to throw her arms around Oonnora’s neck. ‘Thank you so much.’

  Oonnora laughed tiredly and pushed Cassandra away. ‘Off you go.’ She waved as Cassandra leapt back aboard Cupid and the three girls flew off towards the agora. Cassandra knew she would never tire of the rapturous freedom of flying.

  Eventually, they stopped for a rest and Tani flew off to Eerin’s. Cassandra told Ilvi about her idea of teaching Gita to fly on a dragonfly until her wings grew back.

  ‘Cupid’s the only dragonfly available at the moment,’ said Ilvi.

  ‘I know.’ The significance of that had started to sink in.

  ‘You’d give Cupid to Gita?’

  Would she? She nodded stiffly. Of course she would. However painful it might be to give Cupid away, it didn’t compare to the pain of watching Gita die.

  ‘I don’t think it would work.’

  Cassandra had thought that Ilvi, of all the fae, would be the one to recognise value in the idea.

  ‘Gita’s only little,’ Ilvi pointed out. ‘I don’t think she’d be able to do it.’

  ‘What’s to do? Cupid’s so sweet and intelligent there’s almost nothing to it, other than letting her know which way to go. Besides, Gita will have the extra advantage of a psychic link.’

  ‘What if she fell off?’

  ‘Cupid won’t let her fall. She’d have to jump off for that to happen. Anyway, we can rig up a way of holding her on. She only needs a saddle of some sort made. One of the artisans would be able to make something.’

  Ilvi was still not convinced. ‘I don’t know if her parents would agree. She’s already been through a lot.’

  ‘Look!’ Cassandra felt annoyed now at the fae unwillingness to try anything new – particularly coming from Ilvi. ‘She’s wasting away from depression without her wings. She’d just become confident with them. I know depression can kill a fae. What is there to lose? Surely her family will see that.’

  Ilvi still looked unsure but not as adamant. Cassandra pressed her advantage.

  ‘You talk to the artisans for me and get a saddle made. I’ll deal with the family.’

  ‘Okay … yeah, okay, I can do that,’ Ilvi agreed, but as she flew away, she was muttering, ‘I suppose that won’t make me too much of an accomplice to your crazy plan.’

  Cassandra started to question her own sanity. Whatever had possessed her to promise to speak to Gita’s family? They must hate her after what she’d let happen to Gita, and even if they could forgive her, how could they ever trust her again? She knew Garris had never liked her. Although he helped to rescue her, she had no doubt that he did it to support Lorcan, not out of any concern for her. Luckily, it wasn’t him she would have to convince.

  — CHAPTER 68 —

  Making Amends

  Cassandra dragged her feet across to Gita’s house.

  She expected to find at least one of Gita’s parents at home looking after her. What she hadn’t expected was Garris answering her knock at the front door. She had been mentally rehearsing her speech for Gita’s parents in her head. She had no plan prepared for talking to Garris. She was tempted to turn around, but she didn’t want to leave without visiting Gita.

  Thankfully, Garris’s opinion of her seemed to have improved because he smiled warmly. ‘Hello, Cassandra. It’s good to see you again.’ He stood back, holding the door open. ‘Come in. Gita would love to see you.’

  Cassandra held her breath, made herself as narrow as possible and slid past Garris into the house. It was a cheerful, comfortable house with large windows allowing natural light to flood in. Cassandra looked around for Gita.

  ‘She’s still asleep,’ Garris said from behind her. ‘I’ll go get her.’

  ‘No.’ Cassandra started to back up. ‘Don’t disturb her.’

  But Garris was already striding past, heading towards the bedroom that had been built for Gita on the ground floor.

  ‘Don’t worry, the last thing she needs is more sleep.’ He opened the door and stepped inside. A moment later, he reappeared with Gita, minus her beautiful wings, groggy in his arms. He put her down on one end of the couch and Cassandra sat beside her, drawing her in. Gita snuggled into Cassandra’s embrace. Cassandra looked down at her. She looked frighteningly thin and frail, her normally rosy cheeks were the colour of cardboard and her hair hung limp and dull. What should have been elation at being reunited with Gita was, for Cassandra, contaminated by a terrible guilt that she had been responsible for this trauma and, at least from Gita’s point of view, had then abandoned her. Cassandra shifted Gita into her lap and cuddled her tightly. Gita nuzzled her face firmly into Cassandra’s neck, and Cassandra wanted to bawl. She felt self-conscious in front of Garris, but there were things that needed to be said and she didn’t want any more time to pass before she said them. She stroked Gita’s limp hair.

  ‘Gita, I’m very sorry you got hurt. I should have looked after you better.’

  Before she could say more, Garris interrupted. ‘Cassandra, nobody blames you for what happened. We’re grateful that you risked your life to save Gita.’

  Cassandra wasn’t sure what to make of Garris’s apparent turnaround. She knew he’d never liked her. She didn’t expect Gita’s family to look beyond the fact that she hadn’t taken good enough care of Gita in the first place and simply be grateful that she had saved her life. She certainly couldn’t get past it herself.

  ‘I shouldn’t have moved us away from the group. I shouldn’t have insisted she go in the first place.’

  ‘Gita can be very difficult to refuse when she sets her mind on something.’

  There was a whole lot of truth in that. Looking back down at Gita, it was almost impossible to recall the sparky, headstrong imp she’d been. Tears welled up in Cassandra’s eyes.

  ‘You weren’t to know the cat was there. You can’t spend your whole life worrying about what-ifs.’ Garris stood up and moved to sit at the other end of the couch beside Cassandra, his body angled towards her, their knees touching. It was awkward for Cassandra. She wanted to move away, but she knew it would be rude. Garris stared at her until she was compelled to look into his eyes.

  ‘Cassandra, we’re grateful to you for risking your life to save Gita’s. We’ll never forget it.’

  The intensity was too much for Cassandra. It would be fraudulent to accept Garris’s gratitude for saving Gita from a situation that she herself had put her in. Her eyes slid away to the top of Gita’s head again as she
tried to hold the tears in, but one escaped to trickle down her cheek.

  ‘Cassandra,’ Garris said quietly. He nudged her knee with his and waited for her to look at him again. She didn’t want to look at him; she didn’t want him to see her crying. But he nudged her again, and she had to.

  ‘I didn’t like you being here at first,’ he said. ‘I know you know that.’

  Cassandra wanted to lie. She wanted to deny that knowledge and put them both at ease. She did know that he didn’t like her, but she didn’t want to be discourteous, particularly with him being so nice. She looked away again and said nothing.

  Garris caught hold of her hand. ‘Gita loves you, and after what you did for her, I feel differently now. I am truly ashamed and sorry for the way I treated you. I’m pleased that you’ve come to live in our community again, and I want us to be friends.’

  As far as apologies went, they didn’t come much better. Cassandra could no longer hold back her tears.

  Garris tried for a lighter note. ‘Lorcan loves you too, despite my attempts to talk him out of it. It’d be easier if we at least got along since I’m his best friend and you’re apparently now his girlfriend.’

  Cassandra hoped it was true. ‘I’m not sure I’m his anything.’

  Garris’s raised his eyebrows. ‘Well, I am. I’ve known Lorcan a long time and I’ve never seen him so smitten. There’ll be no getting out of it now.’

  Cassandra let out a deep breath. She felt like she’d been holding it since Lorcan had failed to show up last night.

  ‘But I predict a very turbulent relationship between the two of you.’ Garris left Cassandra to ruminate on that while he disappeared into the kitchen to make them cups of tea.

  — CHAPTER 69 —

  Redemption

  It only took two cups of fungitea for Cassandra to discover that she rather liked Garris.

  He was the opposite of Lorcan: so easy-going and funny that Cassandra would never have picked them as friends if she hadn’t already seen it for herself. Cassandra forgot the whole reason for her visit until Gita, who had been dozing comfortably in Cassandra’s lap, began to fidget and grizzle. Feeling more comfortable with Garris now, Cassandra found the courage to run the dragonfly idea past him. She told him of her plan and she pre-empted his objections by answering them in advance. When she was finished, he sat quietly for a few uncomfortable moments while Cassandra tried not to squirm or over talk.