Wrong Bed, Right Brother (Accidental Love)

by Rebecca Brooks

  “I don’t know. I was half-asleep. I was just—” He couldn’t finish. He had no clue.

  “You were just going to fuck anyone who crawled into bed with you?” she said crassly, giving him a you’re seriously disturbed look while she was at it.

  He knew that was what the look meant, because she wore it all the time. Especially when talking to him. Luke was some demigod who could do no wrong in her eyes. But Noah? Half the time, she acted like he was a third wheel even though Luke was his brother, and Amanda and Luke weren’t even in a relationship, so it wasn’t like she had any claim.

  The rest of the time, she acted like everything he did was nuts. Running was nuts, coaching was nuts, waking up early was nuts, being disciplined and giving a shit about anything besides himself was nuts. After Kristina had said she wanted her freedom, Amanda had told him he was “lucky” it had ended then instead of when things got even more serious.

  If those things were crazy in Amandaland, he wanted nothing to do with whatever she thought was “sane.” Still, he had to admit he might have deserved the look now. He really didn’t know what he’d been thinking.

  “Who’d you hope I was?” she asked. “Alix? Sasha?” The you’re an idiot smirk deepened. All three women were completely different. Now that he was awake and thinking about it, there was no way to mistake them.

  But that was the thing. He hadn’t thought about it. It had just…happened.

  It had only been four months since Kristina had wrecked him. He’d grown so used to feeling a warm body in bed with him. Was it too much to think that for one brief second, he might have forgotten how much everything had changed?

  Luke wasn’t kidding when he’d said Noah slept like the dead. It was one of the best perks of being a running coach. He was too damn tired at the end of the day to keep his eyes open. That was a big reason why he’d gotten into it in high school. When he was on the track, or the trails, there was nothing in his mind but his breathing, the pump of his chest, the steady screaming in his legs and lungs that let him know he was alive.

  Afterward, the blissful silence inside him continued. It cleared away everything—worry, heartache, stress…anything on his mind.

  So when soft hands had reached for him in the darkness, he hadn’t thought about it. He’d simply reacted. Felt her kissing him and kissed her back. Felt her body moving and moved with it. Her hands, her skin, her scent, the dip in her lower back as she arched and ground against him…

  Shit. He couldn’t think about how good it had felt or how he’d responded so completely.

  He couldn’t deny it. He’d gotten carried away. There was no telling what more might have happened if she hadn’t whispered his brother’s name.

  Fuck. Just the reminder that she’d wanted it to be Luke, had been imagining Luke the whole time her hands were running over his back, down his abs, to his fly, her hips moving with him, her breath hot in his ear—

  If that wasn’t a massive boner-killer, he didn’t know what was.

  “You should probably go now,” he said, his voice strained.

  She stood up and walked toward him, arms folded over her chest as though that did anything to hide how her nipples were perfectly peaked. He tried not to stare, but it was hard to look anywhere else—not when the heat of her touch still lingered on his skin.

  She got up in his face, leaning close. Not as close as they’d been in bed. But closer than they’d ever stood before.

  He thought, for half a second, that she was going to kiss him again. He had no idea what he’d do if she tried. The only answer was to pull away.

  But he couldn’t help thinking about that kiss and the way she’d slid into bed with him. How it had felt in the moments before she’d opened her mouth and ruined everything.

  This was Amanda Perkins. This was crazy. He didn’t even like her.

  And yet it might have been the best kiss he’d ever had. Not because it was the first kiss that he hadn’t known who he was kissing, the first one that he was too half-asleep to notice or care.

  But because it had been good. Soft and sweet and open and wanting—all at the same time.

  It’s because she thought I was Luke, a stern voice in his head reminded himself. Of course she’d wanted it. She thought I was somebody else.

  And hadn’t he, too? For a moment, when her lips had touched his, he’d been able to forget everything he’d lost. He’d remembered what it meant to be wanted again.

  But obviously she wasn’t leaning in to kiss him again. She was leaning in so there could be no mistaking her intention when she told him this was never, ever going to happen again.

  “I know you and Luke are inseparable,” she said. “But if you breathe a word to him, I’ll cut off your balls in your sleep.”

  Lovely. But she didn’t have to worry. He couldn’t imagine anything more mortifying than admitting he’d kissed Amanda, admitting he’d liked it, all while knowing she’d wanted it to be Luke and not him.

  She didn’t need to storm off quite so quickly, like spending another second in the same room as him would be the worst thing in the world. But she was right. They’d pretend it never happened and everything would be fine. It wasn’t like they saw each other that often. She was Luke’s friend, not his.

  And he and Luke would be gone soon enough. Six short weeks and it’d be as though this never was.

  Even if, for tonight, it wasn’t going to be as easy to forget as he’d hoped. The famous Noah knock-out sleep wouldn’t come, no matter how much he tossed and turned.

  He could still smell her on his sheets…all night. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he could still taste her surprising, beguiling sweetness on his tongue.

  Chapter Four

  Amanda came downstairs for breakfast as late as she possibly could.

  She always slept later than her friends, early bird assholes that they were. Any other day, she’d have stumbled down in her pajamas, trying for that perfect balance between effortlessly cute and yeah-I-woke-up-like-this-so-don’t-think-I’m-trying-too-hard look to make Luke notice but not notice too much. She’d hate for him to feel like he had to sit her down for an “I think of you like a sister” talk and shatter her heart.

  But not today.

  Today it was Doc Martens, black leggings, and a flannel top belted around her waist. She’d showered and slicked product through her hair and even committed to winged eyeliner, which took forever. But she needed all the armor she could get.

  Too late, she realized her mistake. No one else had accidentally crawled into the wrong bed last night, so no one else had a monster case of mortification to live down.

  Which meant they were all hanging around in the kitchen in pajama pants, Noah and Luke sweaty and tousled from their run, everyone drinking coffee, making pancakes, not a care in the world. If Amanda had wanted to seem totally normal…didn’t make out with anybody last night…wasn’t up for hours with sex on the brain—standing out like this was not the way to do it.

  Luke was the first one to spy her coming down the stairs. “Whoa, where’s the fire?” He let out a whistle. “You look raring to go.”

  “Just figured I’d go ahead and get dressed,” she mumbled, doing everything to avoid looking at Noah as she reached for a mug. She had no idea what her face would show—or his. Best not to find out.

  But he was standing next to the coffeemaker, so there was an awkward shuffle as she pulled away from reaching for it and then had to stand there holding the mug while he didn’t pass her the pot—since that would invite things like eye contact and a possible brush of hands.

  Until Luke, looking from Amanda to Noah, finally laughed, shoved his brother to the side, and grabbed it himself.

  “You need like six more cups of this,” Luke told Noah as he refilled his mug. “You’re a zombie today. This was the first time in ten years I’ve been able to keep up wit
h you on a trail run. What happened to Noah the Perfect Sleeper?”

  “Guess he’s on hiatus,” Noah mumbled, turning away.

  “Well, I for one am ready to carpe this diem,” she said way too loudly, holding out her mug for Luke to fill.

  “Okay. Clearly aliens came to this house in the night,” Luke said. “Noah’s tired and running at normal person speeds, and suddenly you’re a morning person. What gives?”

  “Must be the fresh air,” Amanda joked miserably.

  Thank God Alix called out that the pancakes were ready and everyone grabbed plates before Luke could interrogate her more.

  But by the time she got to the dining room, the only seat left was next to Noah. When she asked him to pass the orange juice, he looked like he was going to faint. It wasn’t like she’d said, Can I have the OJ and by the way everyone I felt Noah’s hard-on last night and let me tell you it’s massive. He didn’t have to give her that bloodless, time for a murder-suicide look before his eyes flitted away as quickly as possible, like just sharing the same air molecules with her was embarrassing.

  But sitting across from Luke wasn’t any better.

  He kept kicking her under the table, hitting her foot any time he wanted something—the syrup, more coffee, then a little “Hey, what’s up?” nudge when he claimed she was “a million miles away.”

  “Nothing!” she chirped, trying to move her leg back.

  This time yesterday, she’d have been thrilled to feel the pressure of Luke’s leg against hers. But now it felt…icky. Weird. To be all over someone when she’d just been—literally—all over his brother the night before.

  She swallowed a lump of pancake before it threatened to come surging back. She turned to Sasha as quickly as possible. “Top five vacation spots for our next getaway,” she said. “Go.”

  “Uh.” Sasha looked around the table. “I haven’t thought about it.”

  “We could do a winter thing. Snowshoeing?”

  “That sounds cold.” Alix pretended to shiver.

  “I’ve never been that far upstate,” Sasha said.

  “You’re not missing much,” Luke joked.

  “No one’s asking you—you won’t even be here.” Amanda focused on Sasha. Laser eyes that didn’t look at either twin. “Snowshoeing, a beach thing in the summer—we could do our own Jersey Shore. Or Long Island? Rentals there are more expensive, I think. But if we get somewhere small and it’s in the off season—”

  “No more caffeine for you.” Luke reached out and grabbed her mug. “You sound like you took speed this morning.”

  “Excuse me, but people are talking.” She held out her hand to get her mug back. Noah scarfed down the last of his pancakes and bolted into the kitchen, like he was a saint for tackling the dishes. Thank God the rest of them started to follow and she could finish her breakfast in peace.

  If Noah was going to pretend nothing happened, she could, too. Because nothing had happened.

  And nothing was going to.

  With either of them.

  A hand landed on her shoulder, and she jumped.

  “Think it’s too early for whiskey?”

  She was so focused on not focusing on Luke or Noah, she’d completely zoned out. Luke must have come back from the kitchen. Now he was behind her, running his fingers over the fringes of her hair.

  “It’s never too early,” she said quickly, ducking and sliding off her chair, like she was rushing to put her plate away and not because Luke’s touch was making her skin crawl.

  No flirting.

  It wasn’t her fault. She was trying to behave.

  But after he’d ignored her all of breakfast, Noah’s eyes burned into her as she crossed the kitchen, dropped her plate in the sink, and kept walking, afraid that if she so much as glanced in his direction—

  It wouldn’t matter that she hadn’t slept with either brother and wasn’t going to now.

  She’d still combust.

  Only she wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment and awkwardness, like she kept telling herself…

  Or from something else.

  Chapter Five

  Noah told himself it was fine that he and Amanda weren’t talking. Better than fine. He could do his own thing, hang out with everyone else, and pretend the frustrating girl didn’t exist.

  It wasn’t weird that they both headed to different cars as everyone piled in to explore the towns dotting the Hudson River. No one would notice they weren’t all chummy. She was Luke’s friend, not his. It had always been that way.

  But did she have to give Luke the cold shoulder, too? If she was trying to act normal, this wasn’t it.

  She went off with Alix and Sasha to browse little trinkets at the shops in Rhinebeck. When Luke wanted to pop into a café and called for Amanda to come with him, she stammered something about how he was right, she didn’t need more caffeine—which made Luke ask if she was feeling okay. Even Noah knew she never refused a fresh cup.

  “My treat,” Luke said.

  But she shook her head. “I’ll wait for you here.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Noah said quickly, rushing after his brother before this stupid coffee run could become even more of a thing. “I want another cup.”

  “You?” Luke’s eyes widened. “Mister I’m Checking My Heartrate Every Thirty Minutes to Achieve Maximum Cardiac Something-or-other?”

  “I’ll get a decaf,” Noah mumbled. “I just want something warm.”

  Next time, he was leaving Amanda to her own devices. No more stepping in and making things weirder. No more stepping in at all.

  When Kristina had said she wasn’t ready to “settle down so soon,” it hadn’t felt like a punch in the gut. It had felt like being pummeled over and over until every rib was cracked. He never wanted to go through anything like that again. But he and Amanda weren’t even hooking up—not even close. He needed to remember there was no risk here and no relationship to end.

  By the time they arrived at the distillery that afternoon, he’d gotten a handle on himself again. He didn’t need to worry all the time.

  The bar was in a long wooden barn on the edge of an apple orchard, with a cider mill and a whiskey distillery attached. They started on a tasting flight, and Noah laughed over whatever Luke was saying, determined to have a good time.

  But as the bartender poured the rye special, Alix left to take a phone call. The next thing Noah knew, he was no longer perched between Alix and Luke. He was next to Amanda again.

  He barely tasted the rye as it went down.

  This was ridiculous. It was ruining everything. He pushed back his stool and went to sit on the other side of Luke so he didn’t have to think about it anymore.

  Amanda should be happy, he figured. Now she could cozy up on the other side of Luke. She wasn’t stuck with Noah in the way.

  But as the bartender poured the next round, he became distinctly aware that Amanda was shooting him a look.

  “What is this, musical chairs?” Luke asked as he raised his tasting glass.

  Amanda didn’t respond. Neither did Noah. He kept his eyes straight ahead as though he hadn’t heard.

  When Alix came back, he stepped aside to let her slide in. But Luke did some weird shuffle so he stayed next to Amanda while Alix wound up on the other side of them instead.

  “Here, try this one,” Luke said to Amanda, passing her a taste of a corn-rye blend.

  “No, thanks,” Amanda said stiffly, and Noah had to wrestle down the objection that wanted to crawl out his mouth.

  Amanda had shared a beer with Luke just last night. This Amanda, who wouldn’t be alone with Luke for two seconds to get a cup of coffee, let alone share his glass, was drawing way too much attention to herself.

  “I have to go to the bathroom,” she said, pushing back her stool.

  “Don’t be gone
long or I’ll drink all your whiskey.” Luke pouted, and Noah had to wonder. Was his brother always this shameless with her? Did he know about their little mix-up? Did he have feelings for Amanda, despite what he’d said? Or was he just leading her on?

  But there was nothing to tell, he reminded himself. Amanda didn’t want him. He didn’t want her. Case closed.

  And when Luke turned to him and kept chatting, he had to admit that no, Luke didn’t have a clue. The only one being weird was Amanda.

  “I have to take a leak, too,” he said, putting down his glass.

  He had to end this. Right now. He headed out of the bar and followed her outside.

  …

  Amanda walked as fast as she could away from the group without breaking into a run. She didn’t have to pee. She just needed thirty seconds to breathe.

  Standing next to Luke, his body leaning toward her, the way he’d winked as they raised their glasses and the liquor warmed her insides…

  She should have been on cloud nine. And yet the whole thing felt bizarre. Uncomfortable. Had he always flirted with her like that? Had she always flirted back? Did they never just hang out and talk?

  Why was she complaining when usually being that close to Luke sent her heart skipping?

  It wasn’t because she wanted to stand next to Noah instead. It wasn’t because she was thinking of somebody else—someone who showed only one dimple when he smiled those rare, earned smiles. Someone whose hair she’d felt between her fingers, whose lips she’d pressed to hers.

  No. She kept walking. This had nothing to do with Noah. Nothing to do with that hardness she’d felt pressed against her belly last night, making her ache for more.

  Thank God they were going back to New York tonight. She’d been looking forward to this weekend for ages, thinking it was a chance to get away and spend time with Luke outside the office—even if it was in separate bedrooms with other people around.

  Now, she couldn’t wait to get back to her regular life, where she worked on Brain Gobblers and went home. Went out with friends. Opened Tinder only to close it again without swiping. Schlepped to Jersey to help her mom clean and grocery shop and pay her bills and try to get her out of the house. Didn’t do anything complicated or stressful or risky or uncertain or anything that was clearly a no-good-very-bad idea.