Backstage Romance: An Austen-Inspired Romantic Comedy Box Set

by Gigi Blume

  “It’s my fault they didn’t talk to you more.” She shook her head sorrowfully. “Maybe I should have organized some girl bonding time before the wedding.”

  I hugged her. “Hey, don’t worry about it. We can have some girl bonding time in the future. I’d like to get to know them better.”

  “You would?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Annie smiled with a relief that seemed to lift twenty pounds off her shoulders. I hoped she wasn’t carrying unnecessary guilt around during her honeymoon. I was about to say something to ease her mind when Jaxson called everyone to attention. He stood in the middle of the room, his commanding presence drawing every eye toward him immediately. He looked so artsy and casual in those dark denim trousers. I made a mental note to tell him he should wear those more often. The scruff of his two-day stubble darkened his features in a dishy worked-an-all-nighter look movie directors often sport. I wanted to exfoliate with it.

  Pinky stood next to him and was rather pale by comparison. In fact, she appeared as though she might hurl. Then I noticed the tick in Jaxson’s jaw, and I knew something was going down.

  “All right.” He cupped his hands together, glancing around at everyone assembled. “I want to let you know I couldn’t be happier about all the hard work everyone has put into this project. Amazing work, really. Just fantastic.”

  He started a round of applause, encouraging everyone to join him.

  “As you know, at this point, all we need is to get green lit, and I am confident once the studio execs see you do your thing, they’ll have no choice but to pick us up. You guys are ready. You are so ready. When they come, we’ll be ready for them.”

  Okay, he was rambling. How many times did he have to tell us we were ready? I knew he was nervous about this picture. He’d put in so much of his own money already. The studios didn’t make movie musicals anymore like they used to. It was a huge risk, and Jaxson was anything but confident.

  “Which brings me to the next order of business.”

  Aaand that’s where the monkey threw the poop. The executives weren’t coming. Something about a scheduling misunderstanding. Jaxson kept talking, explaining the situation, but it was like he was trying to sprinkle glitter all over rotten bananas. No matter how much they sparkled, they were still rotten bananas. The mistake was clearly Pinky’s fault. He uttered phrases like blessing in disguise and more time to make it perfect, but I knew he was freaked out. So many things could go wrong by the time the session could get rescheduled.

  I wondered why Jax didn’t tell me what was going on. I had a mind to be quite cross with him if my anger wasn’t directed at Pinky. Seriously, that woman was so incompetent. And to think Annie and Randall had to cut their honeymoon short for nothing.

  I didn’t hear anything more of Jaxson’s speech. Everything he said after that was different variations of the same thing anyhow. He dismissed everyone but the design and production team. I decided to stay and chat with Stella. I wasn’t looking forward to admitting defeat about my matchmaking failure, but the bandage had to be ripped off my pride.

  I heard a strained ‘come in’ as I tapped on the door to her office. I’d brought my wallet along fully prepared to pay out whatever Stella demanded for winning the bet. Upon walking in, I found her on her yoga mat in a rather exaggerated downward dog position, her rump high in the air. She wore her signature black leotard and tight leggings, but the kimono she usually wore to cover her little bumps and rolls was draped over a nearby chair.

  The image would be forever burned into my eyeballs.

  “Perhaps you should lock your door next time you do yoga,” I said with a wince.

  Stella shifted to a triangle pose and smirked. “A trip into my office isn’t for the faint of heart, my dear. Even when I am fully clothed.”

  “Right.”

  “But since I like to give you my full attention, I’ll finish later.”

  She stood upright, steepled her hands, and gave me a tiny bow.

  “Namaste.”

  I mirrored her with a bow of my own. “Domo arigato, Mister Roboto.”

  Stella dabbed her forehead with paper tissues and slipped into her kimono.

  “How are things going, poppet?”

  I blew out a heavy sigh and plopped into the soft chair she reserved for business visits. “It’s all sixes and sevens.”

  “Why, what’s wrong, dear?”

  “The studio isn’t sending anybody, and I’m almost certain it’s Pinky’s fault. Jaxson would never admit to it, though.”

  “Oh, I knew that.” Stella batted her hand as she walked around to sit behind her desk.

  “You did? How?”

  “These walls have ears. But let’s not talk about that. I wanted to know how things are going… with you.”

  I nodded at the jar she kept on her desk filled with cash and IOU notes.

  “I want you to know I’m done. I quit. Fin-ee-toe. You win the bet.”

  Stella blinked at me for a moment and then bubbled over in laughter. “Oh, Emma. Does this have anything to do with that Elton fellow?”

  “Well, yes.”

  “Oh, that’s of no consequence. ‘Tis but a scratch.”

  Leave it to my aunt to quote Monty Python in my hour of distress.

  “I’m serious,” I protested. “I’m done with matchmaking.”

  “Nonsense. I won’t have it.”

  “It’s not nonsense, and you will have it.” I opened my wallet and threw my cash at her. “I lost.”

  Stella watched me empty my wallet until nothing but sushi receipts remained, and I dumped those on her desk for good measure. She didn’t say anything for a very long time. She only studied me with that silly smirk spread across her face. It made my gesture a little less dramatic.

  “You know, I wouldn’t have accepted your little Elton conquest anyhow. The match you have to make is a much harder cookie to crack.”

  “What? Why didn’t you tell me before I made a fool of myself?”

  “Because this is something you have to learn on your own. Someday I’ll tell you my story, but you won’t understand it until you have your own to tell.”

  “Must you be so cryptic?

  “Yes. Because the answer is right in front of you. All you need to do is take a few steps back to see it.”

  “Why do I feel like I’m in a quirky adaptation of Kung Fu Panda?”

  Stella waved me off. “Run along. I’ll store these for safekeeping.” She collected the money and sushi receipts from her desk and stuffed them in her jar.

  22

  Simple-Minded Creatures

  Emma

  I slogged back into the Cry Room, more confused than anything, just as Jax was saying his goodbyes to the design and production team. I caught the last of them shuffling out the door, Pinky taking up the rear. The only two that remained were Annie and Randall. Annie took Jax by the arm and asked if he was planning on attending The Oscars. “Randall is up for Best Art Design,” she said proudly.

  Jaxson responded rather curtly he had no intention of going—which I knew meant he wasn’t being himself. Jaxson loved award shows. Not because he believed in the establishment, but he loved the entertainment.

  “I remember you telling me you don’t watch award shows,” I said to Randall trying to deflect Jaxson’s sour disposition.

  “That’s right,” he agreed. “But if you remember correctly, I admitted to watching them to silently curse the competitors in my category.”

  I chuckled at the memory. That was back when I was trying to get Randall to meet Annie, so he could see how awesome she was.

  Annie slapped Randall in the arm.

  “I’ve never been to The Oscars. This guy better buy me a sparkly dress and show me off on the red carpet.”

  Randall gazed lovingly at Annie, all dopey talk as they rubbed noses together.

  Alrighty then. I cleared my throat. “Hey, did anybody get a look at Jennifer’s new car? I didn’t get the chance.”r />
  Annie and Randall shook their heads.

  “I did,” said Jaxson.

  Annie eyed me.

  “Is it nice?” I asked.

  “Yeah, of course it is.” He shrugged. “It’s a Porsche.”

  “Who could have given her such a gift, I wonder?” said Annie in an obvious way.

  Jax didn’t take the bait. Instead, he opted to gather his things off a nearby table, turning his back to us.

  “How do you know it’s a gift, Annie?” I said slowly and loudly. Also, overly obvious.

  “Well, Emma,” Annie said, matching my volume. “One can only guess.”

  “Hmmm. I think whoever did give it to her must really fancy her. What do you think, Jaxson?”

  “It was a gift,” he said simply. Annie’s eyebrows jutted up, and she sought my reaction, mouthing the word Jaxifer. I narrowed my eyes on her as if to say, No way Jose.

  But Jaxson added, “She told me as much.”

  “Did she tell you who it was?” Annie and I asked at the same moment.

  “No.”

  “Whoever it was, that was rather generous,” Annie suggested.

  “And impractical,” Jax replied icily. “The insurance and gas mileage alone will set her finances back. It was a self-serving, flashy gift.”

  I threw Annie my own eyebrow wag and whispered, “I told you so.”

  I knew it couldn’t have been Jaxson, and the thought he’d fancy Jennifer was simply ludicrous. But Annie shrugged smugly, and once she knew both men were out of earshot, she whispered, “Said like a jealous lover if you ask me.”

  Oh, brother. She could imagine things however she wished, but I wasn’t biting. I was more concerned about what Jax was going through. He didn’t appear happy at all. I’d seen him stressed over a project, I’d been with him through family issues, professional setbacks, and disappointments. But I’d never seen him so bereft of spirit.

  He left before I had a chance to say goodbye. I wasn’t sure what I would have said to him—obviously it was out of the question to bring up our fake kiss. Not like it felt fake at all. I supposed that’s why it bothered me so much. There was a line we’d drawn in our friendship a long time ago and it wasn’t up to me to blur it now.

  As I drove home, I took advantage of the quiet ride to process the Bedlam of the past few weeks. So many thoughts bulldozed through my head. My surprise and unexpected delight about Beth and Will’s relationship, how Beth was perfect for the role of Isabelle and was cast aside because of an oversight in Jennifer’s contract. Then there was Harriet, and how Elton stomped all over her happily ever after. What a cad and a player he was. It made my blood boil. And how Stella was watching me make mistake after mistake, likely shaking her head at my idiocy. What could she mean by all that guru codswallop? I just wanted to go back to sleep and hope things got better in the morning. Never mind that it wasn’t even lunchtime yet.

  When I arrived home, Rosario was in the best mood I’d seen her in a long time, dancing as she mopped the floor.

  “What’s got into you, sunshine?” I asked.

  She took out her Bluetooth earbuds and grinned. “Señora tell me to pack her bag.”

  “What do you mean, pack her bag? Her suitcase?”

  Rosario nodded enthusiastically and replaced her earbuds, wiggling her hips in a way I never could. It was no secret Rosario disliked Mum, but she could at least try to hide her glee.

  I found Mum in her room, stuffing as much as she could into her carry-on.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving? I would have taken you shopping on Rodeo Drive. I thought we’d have more time for those things.”

  Mum came over to me and held my shoulders. “I know you were busy, and I completely understand you didn’t have time for your mother.”

  “Thanks for the guilt trip.”

  “You’re welcome. Besides, I already went to the shops on Rodeo. I bought you this.”

  She reached under the bed and retrieved a robin egg blue bag with Tiffany and Co. written on the side in all caps.

  “Oh, and your agent called.”

  Only Mum could present me with a luxe gift and rattle off my phone messages to me in the same breath.

  “He called on the landline?” Didn’t the guy believe in mobile phones?

  “I called him, but no matter. Open your gift.”

  I stared at the bag suspiciously. “Why do I get the feeling you’re trying to placate me?”

  “If you must know, I simply called him to ask why you haven’t had any endorsement deals in a while.”

  “Oh, okay. Not weird at all. Are you going to call my kindergarten teacher next and ask when it’s my turn for show and tell?”

  Mum had just brought helicopter parenting to a whole new level.

  “Don’t you want to know what he said?”

  “Do I have a choice?”

  She grinned like the Cheshire cat. “He said he just so happens to have a deal in the works. What a coincidence.”

  Riiiight.

  “I suppose this Tiffany bag has something to do with the endorsement deal.”

  “Sadly, no. But a girl can wish.”

  Or in this case, a meddling mother can wish.

  “It’s just a present because I love you. Can’t I buy my favourite daughter a diamond choker?”

  Favourite daughter. Pshth. Like I’d fall for that.

  “You bought the same exact thing for Bella, didn’t you?”

  “What if I did?”

  The crazy thing about Mum was although both her Aunt Stella and I did well with our careers, she herself didn’t come from money and hadn’t married into wealth. I had given her control of my child acting royalties as a way of giving her a comfortable living, but I knew it wasn’t much.

  “Does Dad know how much money you’re spending? I can’t accept this.” I attempted to hand the bag back to her, but she held out her palm to stop me.

  “Please don’t insult me, Emma. I’m doing quite well. I may not have graduated university, but I know a thing or two when it comes to negotiating your Christmas Special to the BBC.”

  Now, that I could believe. As much as I was reluctant to accept the gift, I had to admit it was beautiful. I thanked her with a big hug.

  I found out she planned on taking the red eye and, no, she didn’t want a ride to the airport. She called Stella instead and left early enough to catch dinner at 80/20, the new raw vegan restaurant in Hermosa Beach.

  The oddity of it all was, although she drove me crazy while she was there, once she left, the house felt empty and sad.

  I considered ringing Jaxson but thought better of it, deciding instead to phone my agent. Turned out he had caught wind of Frank’s attachment to the Field of Hearts project and through some act of Hollywood sorcery, got me on the same fragrance commercial series. He said the timing couldn’t have been better because the client wanted to film right away. The ads would run on a popular web series and be like mini James Bond movies—Frank in a tux drinking martinis in Monte Carlo, that sort of thing. Except they’d be filmed in Funner, California instead of Monaco. We’d be done within a week, but Frank’s PR guy thought it would be a good idea if we were seen together to create some buzz. Who knew getting publicity for a perfume ad was so complicated?

  By the time I was ready for bed, I noticed Rosario had replenished the pantry with all the staples. I chose a bag of peanut butter pretzels and went upstairs to watch telly in bed. My mobile sat on my nightstand without so much as a text from Jax. I stared at it for ages, willing it to ring—preferring Jaxson’s gentle voice reading Jane Eyre instead of some movie I had in my queue.

  And then the screen of my iPhone lit up and for a split second, I believed The Force was in me, and I was in The Force, somehow conjuring Jaxson into the device. I soon discovered it was a text from Harriet. I was too old to start Jedi training anyhow.

  Harriet: You awake?

  Me: Yup.

  The ringer went off right away. Harriet’s
ringtone was Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison.

  “Hey, I missed you today. Are you all right?”

  “Yeah,” she replied. “I needed some me time, you know? I got a wax and a mani-pedi.”

  “Sounds delightful.”

  “It was. It gave me some time to process seeing Martínez again.”

  “Oh, how did that go?”

  To be honest, with all this Elton drama and Frank coming into town, I forgot all about Martín. I wasn’t even thinking Harriet might run into him at Karaoke Unplugged.

  “It was fine,” she said with a trace of sadness in her tone. “It was the first time I’d seen him since… well, anyway, now that’s over with, it won’t be awkward the next time.”

  “Good for you, Harriet. I’m proud of you.”

  “He was so nice, and even bought a round of drinks for our table. Isn’t that sweet?”

  “Uh, sure.”

  “And he told me he finally got caught up with all the seasons of Poldark. Remember when he promised he’d watch it?”

  “Yes, but—”

  “And he told me to come in any time, and he’ll reserve the best table for my friends if I call him in advance. And before I left, he took me aside to tell me there were no hard feelings. I think he mistook Frank for my boyfriend or something because he looked at him with a weird expression when he said that. Oh, I don’t know what I’m feeling right now, Emma. What should I do?”

  This poor girl. Would she forever be seeking my advice with every silly encounter?

  “Listen, Harriet,” I said decidedly. “You only feel awkward because this is the first time you’ve run into him after you turned him down. But now that it’s over, you both can get on with your lives. If he wants to remain friends, and it sounds like he does if he told you to ring him, then you need to create some boundaries.” Like I did with Jaxson? We all know how that turned out.

  “Boundaries. Got it.”

  “Good.”

  After a moment of silence she asked, “Like, what do you mean, exactly? Can we still hang out?”

  Oh, dear.

  “You have to gauge if that’s right for your situation. Some men have a hard time being friends with women. There’s always an attraction, and let’s face it—guys are simple-minded creatures. They usually want more.”