From Despair to Where

by Oliver Smith

  Gently holding Jack’s hand, Lucy wrapped his other arm around her and let out a contented sigh. She then began to push her hips backwards into Jack; she was naked under the t-shirt. Frozen, he held his breath as his heart reverberated through her body. She moved her hips closer and the gap between them closed as the feeling of skin on skin sent lightning bolts through his body. Slowly she began to seductively push her delightfully perfect rear into Jack’s arched groin. Jack could no longer control his desires, he put his hand on her hip and worked it up under her t-shirt, tracing the contours of her body and pushing himself firmly against Lucy’s silky soft skin, she twisted her upper body and they kissed passionately, he span her around, the feeling of her against him was electrifying, they continued to kiss exploring each other’s bodies with an eager animal passion, their hips rhythmically tempting each other further.

  They looked at each other and Lucy smiled. Jack was transfixed, she was so beautiful, and this moment felt perfect. The whole world had ended but he was happier now than at any other point in the last five years. He leaned forward and affectionately kissed her. They made love slowly to begin with, but soon left any sense of nervousness behind as they both lost themselves to their carnal desires, both moaning in ecstasy as their self-imposed celibacy came abruptly to an end.

  They drifted off in each other’s arms happy to share something beautiful in a world of atrocity.

  -

  Jack awoke to pouring rain. It was light outside and he dreamily recollected the previous evening’s pleasure with growing relish. He then realised that Lucy was not in bed with him. Getting up, he put a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt on. Searching the rooms upstairs, she was nowhere to be seen. Going downstairs, she wasn’t in the lounge or the kitchen. He moved into the kitchen and looked out of the window.

  Outside, on the patio, completely naked, stood Lucy in the rain. The vision in the morning light, darkened by the heavy rain clouds, was breath taking. Tall and lean, Lucy had the body of a runner; she was sleek and incredibly sexy. She washed herself with some shower gel in the rain, the soapy foam running down the patio. She looked up and smiled and motioned for Jack to come and join her.

  He went outside and joined Lucy. She kissed him passionately and took his t-shirt off. He was quick to remove his boxer shorts and kick them away. The rain was cold, but the thrill of the moment took any unpleasant sensations away. She applied some shower gel in her hands and started to wash Jack’s chest and back; gently kissing him every so often. Jack was in a state of pure arousal.

  He pressed up against her, kissing her passionately. She took his hand and led him to the lawn and smiled, “I’ve always wanted to do this.”

  She got down on the grass and pulled Jack with her. Naked on the lawn, they continued their carnal passions from the previous evening as the cold rain heightened the exhilaration as they lost themselves to lust.

  Jack was like a teenager again. He was smitten beyond all reason. He felt as though he’d known Lucy all his life. Pulling her close and kissing her, he said, “You’re making this world worth living.”

  Lucy’s smile vanished from her face. She looked sad and pushed Jack away, half running to the door, stooping to pick up her clothes before making her way, still dripping, through the house and upstairs.

  Well done Jack.

  Chapter 16 - Good and Bad

  For the rest of the day, Lucy avoided Jack, which was a skill in such a small house. Jack tried to talk to her, still confused about the mood, but only got short answers and no warmth. He was tormenting himself: did she just want a little bit of pleasure in a world turned bad; did he say too much? Was he too emotionally involved already? Had she sensed this and recoiled from his foolish hopes? They’d only met the previous day, but Jack had watched the videos and felt as though he’d known her already, she on the other hand had met a man who wasn’t exactly Brad Pit and certainly didn’t have the sparkling wit of a comic genius.

  Jack continued that way for a couple of hours. He was attempting to work through the road atlas planning possible routes for his trip to Yorkshire. After the events of the previous day, Jack had decided to revert to the original plan of waiting for a week. The roadblocks were stopping the vast majority of the dead wondering their way, so he figured he’d have enough time to wait it out. Of course, a major part of this decision was down to wanting Lucy to come with him, although he hadn’t actually admitted that to himself yet. He also hoped he’d see Danny’s wife, Dawn, return safe and sound so that they could both join the trip too.

  Walking into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, Lucy didn’t speak to Jack as he sat at the kitchen table. He was tired of his internal torment so said, “Please Lucy. Sit down. Talk to me.”

  She hesitated but relinquished the urge to walk away and took the seat opposite Jack. She began, “Did you mean it?”

  “Mean what?”

  “That if I wasn’t here, you’d stop trying? You’d give up.”

  “I didn’t say that, did I?”

  “You implied that you didn’t know if you could go on if you hadn’t met me.”

  “I didn’t mean that literally. I’m not used to opening up to people anymore. It was meant as a compliment. I was just saying that you’ve made my life better.”

  Lucy paused and for the first time throughout all of the struggles that Jack had seen her face, her eyes started to fill up with tears, “I’m sorry, I over reacted. I just…I couldn’t see that again.”

  Jack moved to the seat next to Lucy and rubbed her back gently, “See what again Lucy?” Jack felt great just saying her name, he needed to stop being so love struck.

  “I didn’t tell you how I lost my partner.” She choked in a sob and continued, “My partner and I, George, were very much in love, but he had a few issues. He committed suicide just over a year ago.”

  She wept openly. The intimacy with Jack was the first time she had given herself over to anyone since George had died and she had drunkenly instigated it. She was feeling guilty and this guilt manifested itself into thoughts and memories of George and their life together, and ultimately finding him in the bath soaking in his own blood. Jack’s unfortunate choice of words in his intended compliment had awoken these feelings and as such she wanted to avoid all contact with him in an attempt to erase her infidelity to George.

  Jack put his arms around Lucy and let her cry, he said it was okay and that he was sorry. He realised that he had so many questions, but these weren’t questions you could ask or expect an answer. He said nothing and continued to hug Lucy until the tears died down.

  She looked up at Jack and smiled, “I’m sorry, I feel like an idiot. Here I am bearing my soul to someone I met only yesterday and worse still, I’m sobbing like a damn fool.

  “Look Jack, last night and this morning were the best thing to happen to me in a long time. You’ve been so kind to me…Hell, you saved my life from the minute you met me. But-” Jack hated that but, “you’ve seen what I’m like. I’m still grieving, and I was thrown by the whole end of the world thing. I don’t know what you want from me, but I’m not ready for anything serious.”

  Lucy began to laugh, “Sorry again, I’m not laughing at you; it’s the whole situation. Here I am in what can only be described as a zombie apocalypse and I’m sat with a guy I had amazing sex with last night who is really quite a lovely chap. And here I am saying it’s not you, it’s me, like we’re on the set of a Hollywood movie. Is this a romance or horror flick?”

  The teenage feeling of rejection hit Jack hard; he was so out of touch with the world of romance that his emotions had regressed into the extreme highs and lows of adolescence. He managed to restrain his out of control reactions and avoid burying his head in the nearest cushion and wailing, he smiled and said, “Please don’t apologise. You have nothing to apologise for. I completely understand, I’ve been living in stasis, cut off from the world, for five years.

  “I’ll level with you. I feel like I’ve known you all my l
ife and I really like you. Last night and this morning were amazing and will be a memory I’ll cherish.”

  Embarrassed by the words coming out of his mouth, Jack continued his out of control ramblings, “I really like you, but I understand your reluctance for anything else. It’s taken the end of the world to make me realise that I want to be part of the living again. You completed my final step, the freeing of my shackles…of…of anger. I know I’m still grieving, but not like I was before, I’m now grieving the world and its wonders, the realisation of this zombie thing hasn’t fully dawned on me yet. My emotions are all over the place, I’m like a love-struck teenager, but most of all, I want to be your friend and I want you to be safe. That’s enough for me. You are warm and wonderful, and you make me feel wonderful too. It might be selfish, but I want you with me, romantically or not.”

  Lucy lifted her head and gently kissed Jack on the cheek. He knew what it meant, last night was last night, now is now.

  Jack continued, “Look, I’m going to cry in a minute, so I’ll ask you this. Will you come with me to Yorkshire?” He didn’t wait for an answer, he was on the full sales pitch, “I know you don’t have a plan and I enjoy your company. I would worry, without hope of helping you, if I go and you stay or do your own thing. Please come with me.”

  She weighed up her options and looked at Jack and said, “I’ll come with you Jack. We need to do something first though. We need to help Danny find his wife or help him get some closure.”

  -

  Jack and Lucy spent most of the morning hunched over a map plotting possible routes. They reasoned that they’d need quite a few contingency plans and a list of possible destinations to crash as many roads could be impassable, so the journey might not be accomplished in a day. The two of them made a good team, Jack had more knowledge of the area, but Lucy used her brain and logic much more efficiently so effectively made the plans based on Jack’s familiarity with the roads. They wished for Google Maps and street view, so they could zoom into any location to check out the layout of the roads. That was the old world though.

  Using the experience of the Adventure Island excursion, they decided it was sensible to stick to country roads and avoid built up areas. This proved a tricky assignment, but they’d done their best to limit routes through urban areas. Happy with the plan, Lucy went to see Danny, the back way, to talk about going to find his wife.

  She returned quickly and despondently, Danny wasn’t in.

  They ate some hummus, pitta bread with some carrots, the perishable food was getting thin. Sitting in a comfortable silence together, a noise from outside made them stir, they looked at each other.

  Jack rose to his feet and ran upstairs to peek out of the shutters without being seen. Lucy was quickly behind him. Outside, a woman in a dressing gown was pacing down the street, she was sobbing, carrying something in her arms. Jack didn’t recognise her from his street.

  Lucy said, “She’s alive, come on, she looks like she needs help.”

  Turning around and running down the stairs, Lucy was out of the door before Jack could reason with her to stay inside. She slowed her pace as she approached the woman in her nightwear and called out, “Hi, are you okay? Do you need some help?”

  The woman didn’t answer, she sobbed quietly, shuffling her feet as she moved. A tiny arm shot out and retreated from the bundle the woman cradled. Lucy realised that it was a baby; a poor little child born into a cruel world. This infant wasn’t supposed to face a future filled with carnivorous humanoid ghouls, it was meant to grow into a world of uncertainty that’s for sure, but trivial unknowns, like robots taking all the jobs or the pressure of growing up in an ever-connected world of social media; what sort of future could this innocent being expect now?

  Lucy put aside thoughts of the baby’s future and asked, “Do you need anything for the baby?”

  The woman still didn’t answer, she shuffled forwards still sobbing. Lucy put her hand on the woman’s shoulder. The contact made the woman swing around violently. In her arms the baby looked up. It was turned; grey and blue in colour, its eyes so bloodshot they looked black. The baby would have been three months old and growing, but now the little monster was permanently stuck as an infant with a thirst for blood. It clawed at its mother, instinct making it snap at her hands and arms, but with no teeth, its hunger could not be satisfied. The mother held the baby close, forcibly stopping it thrash.

  Lucy let out a yelp and stepped back upon seeing the dead baby. She turned to Jack with a look of horror and motioned for him not to look. Jack didn’t heed the warning, although he wished he’d listened. The sight sickened him.

  “Can we help you?” Lucy repeated.

  “Too late, it’s too late, too late.” The woman garbled back incoherently.

  Jack and Lucy watched on. What could they do? She was in need of help but had clearly lost her mind. There was no way she was letting go of the baby and both Jack and Lucy were certain that it was not coming in the house. They watched on, unable to move or think how to help, as the woman continued to shuffle slowly down the road as she clutched her dead infant.

  From the alley at the side of the road a fat woman appeared and wrapped her arms around the woman and dead child. The fat woman was no longer living and she took the robed woman by surprise. Wrapping her bulbous arms around the now struggling and screaming woman, the fat zombie sunk her teeth into the woman’s neck, pulling her mouth away breaking the skin and arteries with a spray of blood as the three of them toppled to the floor, the baby bouncing out of its bundle.

  Jack immediately ran to the woman and kicked the obese monster in the head. Its grip on the woman, whose dying struggles became weaker, was so strong that Jack’s kick barely moved the huge beast. From behind him, Lucy appeared with bat in hand, with a high swing, Lucy brought the bat down, crushing its fat head. Jack managed to roll the large dead woman from the injured lady with all his might. The woman in the dressing gown lay there bleeding to death. Incoherent ramblings still echoed from her mouth, her life slowly slipping away.

  Gripping Jack’s shirt sleeve, Lucy pulled Jack a step backwards. The dead baby was on the road, naked and grey, slowly crawling to the pool of its mother’s blood, dipping its mouth into it. Feeding.

  Lucy and Jack held each other, both wanting to throw up, to cry, to wake up from a nightmare. The woman on the floor was gasping her last breaths as her offspring drank her life force. Jack looked at Lucy and weakly said, “She’s going to turn soon.”

  He knew what he had to do, but didn’t have the courage to volunteer for the job. Jack wasn’t a violent man and had never had a proper fight. This was all too much for him, but he was aware he couldn’t ask Lucy to do this. It wasn’t a macho thing, it was a human thing.

  Bounding over a fence a few yards up the road, Danny appeared. He had heard the commotion and had come running. He walked over and checked that Lucy and Jack were okay. He looked emotionless as he surveyed the terrible scene. Looking up he said in a monotone and robotic voice, “Go inside. I’ll deal with this. Go now.”

  “But what about the b–” Jack couldn’t finish his sentence.

  “I’ll take care of this. Just go, I don’t want you to see this. Go now before she turns. I’ll come over tonight”

  Jack and Lucy left Danny in the street. The pair were torn, every part of them wanted to leave Danny to this heinous task, but that didn’t make it right for them to leave him to it. They left him anyway; relieved and guilty.

  The household that afternoon and evening had a sombre atmosphere. Jack and Lucy studied the pages of instructions that Jack had printed out when he still had power. The two of them were close, they rarely left each other, but that night they both slept in separate rooms, both waking regularly from dark dreams.

  Danny didn’t visit them that evening.

  Chapter 17 - Worse

  The following morning, Lucy and Jack woke early and were still consumed with the previous day’s events. Lucy walked across the hall t
o Jack’s room and knocked on the door. He smiled to himself at the formality that had built up so suddenly following the first day’s passion.

  “Come on in.” Jack said in a mock chirpy tone.

  “You’re in a good mood.” Lucy responded rubbing the tiredness out of her eyes.

  “Not really, can’t get yesterday out of my head. I’m putting on a stiff upper lip attitude.” Jack said.

  “Can I get in with you? Don’t try to jump me this time!” Lucy cheekily remarked.

  Jack laughed, “If I remember rightly, you seduced me. I can’t blame you though, you’re only human.”

  Lucy laughed this time as she got into bed and pulled the covers over her. It was chilly for the time of year and she was a little cold. Putting her cold feet on Jack, he pulled away and yelped. She laughed again.

  “I think we should both go over and see Danny this morning. I’m feeling really ashamed for leaving him yesterday. Did you see the look on his face? He was emotionless.” Lucy said, half burying her face in the duvet.

  “Sounds like a good idea to me. He seemed completely out of it.”

  Jack continued, “Do you think we care too much for this new world? I don’t mean Danny; like with that woman outside, we can’t help everybody we meet, but I’m not sure how I’d feel about myself if I just hid in the shadows and did nothing to help people.” Jack was pondering out loud.

  Lucy was quick to respond, “I don’t know. All I know is that while I’m a sentient living being, I want to keep hold of some essence of innocence and moral decorum.”

  Jack sniggered, “Moral decorum? What about that redhead I saw frolicking in the mud yesterday morning?” He immediately regretted saying that; the flirty nature of their initial conversation had passed onto more serious topics.

  Lucy wasn’t fazed though, she retorted, “I do believe my good sir that being sexually liberated is to be more enlightened, you ought to try it sometime, Mr. Frigid.”