From Despair to Where

by Oliver Smith

  -

  Lucy and Chloe played dress up in the master bedroom, Chloe wore shoes too big for her and put on jewellery, the two of them laughed together as they had girly fun. Lucy sat down with Chloe and delicately explained the danger of the trip whilst they played and was struck with how much the girl knew, which made Lucy feel easier about the daunting trip, her confidence in Chloe grew when the girl said she would run from living and dead, trusting only Jack and Lucy. They meticulously packed a bag for Chloe and Lucy, Lucy having left her previous clothes in Mick’s spare room. Chloe was demanding about what to take with her, wanting to all her worldly possessions, but was told in no uncertain terms that she could only take what would fit in the bag. After much deliberation she settled on an array of clothes, not really suitable for the trip, but Lucy acquiesced to the decision after so much trouble getting her to decide the final shortlist.

  Chloe, stood on a stool she’d painstakingly pushed across the room, picked out a black dress from the wardrobe and asked Lucy to put it on. Lucy didn’t want to wear it, so said she’d put it on later, but the girl persisted saying, “Please, my mummy used to look so pretty in it. I’d really like to see you in it. You’re pretty like mummy.”

  Knowing Chloe would never see her mum again, Lucy didn’t have the heart to say no. She undressed to her mismatched underwear and inspected the dress, it was Prada, and this excited her, she knew the dress well having worked in retail, it was a Prada crêpe dress and retailed for over £1,000. She had owned some expensive dresses, but nothing quite this extravagant. Remembering happy times shopping, she decided to cherish the moment as it might be the last time she could afford the time for luxuries like this. Slipping the dress over her head, the material felt cold and wonderful against her skin. It was an amazing fit, like the dress was meant for her. She looked in the full-length mirror and did a twirl. She hated to admit it to herself, but she looked good, the dress was elegant, dropping at the front around the cleavage, hanging over both shoulders, the straps fell into an elegant arch across her back.

  Chloe smiled and gave her thumbs up, “You look like a princess.”

  “Thank you, but not quite as beautiful as you.” Lucy responded looking at Chloe with affection, who was wearing a mishmash of clashing colours that once belonged to the girl’s mum and swamped her little body.

  “JACK, JACK, JACK.” Chloe began to call.

  “No Chloe, please don’t.” Lucy was embarrassed and opened a wardrobe door and hid behind it. It was too late; Jack came running up the stairs, alarmed at Chloe’s calls.

  Running into the room Jack asked in an alarmed tone, “What’s wrong Chloe?”

  “Nothing! We were just playing dress up.” Lucy answered still hiding herself behind the open door.

  “Show him!” Chloe demanded.

  Gingerly, Lucy closed the wardrobe door and stepped out. Jack stood there and was speechless, his mouth hanging open as he looked Lucy up and down. The dress complimented Lucy’s frame, hugging her hips and cupping her breasts, her red hair flowed over one shoulder and the black contrasted her English Rose complexion to perfection.

  The silence was all too much for Chloe, she demanded again, “So?”

  Knocked out of his silence, Jack remembered a poem by Wordsworth that he’d learned off by heart as a kid to try and, fail to, impress a girl at school, he recalled the words of a verse and said them out loud,

  “And now I see with eye serene

  The very pulse of the machine;

  A Being breathing thoughtful breath,

  A Traveller between life and death;

  The reason firm, the temperate will,

  Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill;

  A perfect Woman, nobly planned,

  To warm, to comfort, and command;

  And yet a Spirit still, and bright,

  With something of angelic light.”

  Lucy blushed, but didn’t take her eyes off Jack. They both stood there, acutely aware of each other. Chloe chirped up joyfully, “Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her!”

  He didn’t think about it, walking over to Lucy who didn’t move, he put his hand to her face and delicately kissed her, her soft lips touched his and the tenderest of kisses flickered quickly between them.

  The kiss ended and they stood transfixed with one another, Lucy let out an involuntary sigh and blushed, saying, “Right young lady, we better see about getting something to eat for us all.”

  -

  It was pasta yet again that evening, Chloe once again eating greedily. They made a great team and spent a happy evening playing snakes and ladders, snap, and charades in candlelight. Chloe drifted off to sleep around 8pm in Lucy’s embrace, Jack watched on wishing they could stay here, wishing the world was different. He got up and excused himself, he decided to freshen himself up with the bucket of water he’d left in the bathroom. When he got back to the lounge, Lucy had moved Chloe to the makeshift bed of cushions and was softly speaking to the girl to get her back to sleep. She then went to leave the room taking a candle with her and blowing the others out.

  At the door Lucy turned to Jack and said, “We’ll leave her to sleep, we need to talk about tomorrow.

  “Can you give me five minutes to change for bed? I’ll be in the master bedroom; we can talk there. You may as well bring that bottle of Champagne in the pantry with you; we should celebrate our reunion, I’d hate for that bottle to go to waste, it looks expensive.” She winked at Jack and scampered quickly upstairs.

  Jack watched Lucy go and smiled to himself, he said goodnight to Chloe in a whisper and shut the lounge door making sure the latch clicked so it couldn’t be pushed open should anything wonder in through the broken window in the kitchen. Getting the bottle of Champagne and two glasses, Jack waited at the kitchen table and watched the clock as the five minutes took an eternity to tick by. He couldn’t bear being away from Lucy any more, even though they were in the same house, he wanted her close, he wanted to look at her, to feel her warmth and to keep her safe from the evils of the world. She had already attracted more criminally insane people than Jack had encountered in his 37 years of living. She was worth it and then some.

  Finally, five minutes passed, he stood and hurried upstairs.

  Opening the door slowly, Jack could see the light flicker as the draft caught the candle, he walked into the room and saw Lucy standing there in the dim light. She was wearing the Prada dress once more, Jack was mesmerised, the glasses in his hand rattled as he nearly dropped them to the floor, Lucy smiled and said, “I thought I’d give the dress one last outing, it seemed to have a positive effect on you last time. Now put the bottle and glasses down before you drop them and come here.”

  He put the glasses and bottle on a dressing table and walked towards Lucy. He felt as though he were in some period drama, the lady of the house was summoning the servant, he was in jeans and t-shirt whereas she stood there, barefooted in that black dress looking like the personification of elegance. Reaching her, he was no longer able to control his desire, instinct was becoming his ally after all the years of flight and subservience, he was taking control. He kissed her gently and then passions boiled over from them both, the sexual flirting and their first night together had lingered in both their minds. He pushed her up against the wardrobe and moved his hips against hers, she could feel him harden through the soft material of her dress. Kissing her neck, she nibbled on his ear and whispered, “I’m not wearing any knickers you know.”

  He looked at Lucy and smiled and let out a groan of ecstasy. She took his t-shirt off and he unbuttoned his jeans, sliding out of them eagerly, she pushed Jack back and he fell onto the bed, he was quick to take off his socks trying to be smooth, but failing. Edging back on the bed, Lucy followed him and straddled him, she leant over him, her hair brushing against his chest, the sweet smell of her body making him tingle. Gently, she kissed him and looked into his eyes, lowering her hips she was teasing him, he could feel how wet she was, but she wasn’t giving
over all too easily, she rotated her hips teasing him further, he pulled her hips down, but she wasn’t giving in that easily, she was having fun with him, building anticipation. She continued to gaze into his eyes, a wicked smile over her face as she relished the control of the situation. Finally, she gave way to her own desires and lowered herself, he was inside her and they were moving rhythmically lost in each other’s embrace. All of Jack’s aches and pains evaporated as their union climaxed together quickly, but with satisfaction painted on their faces. Lucy collapsed onto Jack and they lay there sweating and breathing heavily. She raised her head and kissed Jack once again and said, “You’re stuck with me now you know.”

  “You’re stuck with me too.” He replied smiling, wishing he had said something more poetic or witty.

  -

  Sitting up in bed together they talked, they had grown close and neither of them really knew if what they felt was real or the by-product of being thrown together in a global catastrophe, the question wasn’t one that either wanted to answer or say out loud, this world was made for living in the present.

  They made plans to leave early the following morning, most of Jack’s stuff was already packed in the car, including his trusty hammer, they just needed to load Lucy and Chloe’s bags and then do a sweep of the house to see if there was anything useful that they could take with them.

  By 10pm the two of them were shattered, surviving was taking its toll on their stamina. With one last kiss they bid each other good night and slept naked, intertwined together carrying their closeness into sleep. They woke twice that night and sleepily made love, both embracing their sexual reawakening.

  -

  The next morning, the newly formed family packed up their belongings, scoured the house for useful items and began their journey.

  Jack had suffered nightmares through the night, the shattered remains of the dream still haunted him as he made himself busy, he looked on and worried for Lucy and Chloe’s welfare. He wasn’t a psychic, they were just dreams.

  Chapter 24 - Expedition

  In their morning sweep of the house, Jack and Lucy found some useful items: a wood cutting axe, bottled water, a camping stove, and some more tinned food. The car was bursting from the seams and Jack wished he’d taken the time to take a neighbour’s car, there was a four-wheel drive just up the road.

  The planned route had changed since Lucy and Jack had drawn out their initial idea, they took steps to avoid Ancoats Lane, where Mick lived, and drove around it on the main road to join back up with their original plan at a later stage. The main roads were more dangerous, but it was a risk they were willing to take, the dead were not as unpredictable as a man who liked to refer to himself in the third person by his absurd nickname.

  The plan for today was to navigate through country roads and make it to the hills, the Peak District, where they would find a place to rest the night away and set off again the following day. Jack was concerned with a couple of points in the plan, firstly, finding a place to stay that was safe, and secondly and most worryingly, he was concerned that the route would take them past densely populated areas. It was too late; they’d been through the map countless times and this was the best way. He had to swallow his fear and continue.

  The numbers of the dead had increased noticeable, clusters of them loitered menacingly. The numbers could still be navigated, but if they continued to surge then it would cause issues.

  Chloe sat in the back and covered her eyes every time the car passed a dead man or woman. Jack recalled a scene from the Walking dead he’d watched not that long ago, it featured a young girl who had become psychologically damaged and started to reason with the dead, she’d ended up killing her sister and had to be put down because of the danger she caused to the rest of the group. It was a chilling episode and one that Jack wished he’d not remembered at that precise moment. He glanced in the rear-view mirror and wondered what effect the rising of the dead would all have on the young innocent girl. She had lost her parents, probably, which would affect her immeasurably and he wasn’t sure if she still had hope for them. In an attempt to help her through this trying situation and provide her with optimism of a reunion, he had left a note in Chloe’s house addressed to her parents telling them where they were taking Chloe and that she was safe. Jack knew deep-down that this was a waste of time, but wanted to keep some hope alive in the girl, whether this tact was wise or honest, he didn’t know.

  Thoughts drifting from fiction to reality, Jack decided to attempt to ease some of the nervous tension that filled the car, “You know girls, it might surprise you to learn that I’m not just the debonair, sophisticated guy that you’ve come to know. I’m a bit of a geek at heart, I used to love zombie books and films. You’re with an expert so you’re in safe hands.”

  Lucy laughed; Chloe looked confused, Lucy responded mockingly, “Did you hear that Chloe? Jack thinks he’s sophisticated. We both know you’re a geek at heart, that’s why we both like you, you’re our comic book nerd.”

  “Shit…err sorry, I mean shoot.” Jack said correcting himself in the presence of a youngster, Chloe giggled.

  Lucy looked concerned, “What’s wrong?”

  “I can’t believe I haven’t thought of this. The radio, the car radio! We should be scanning the airwaves for news out there. I’m an idiot, the radio features in just about every story like this and I hadn’t thought to check it out.”

  Flicking on the radio, Lucy smiled and said, “You’ve had your hands full. I think you can give yourself a break.”

  Shifting through the FM frequency the radio filled the car with static. Jack pressed buttons randomly and managed to finally change the frequency to AM and set it so Lucy could manually find anything out there. His eyes were shifting from road to radio in anticipation of news from others.

  After carefully scanning the airwaves, Lucy found something. It was faint and crackly, but it was definitely a voice, frustratingly though, they couldn’t get the signal strong enough to hear what the voice was saying. Lucy looked hopeful and said, “When we get higher we can listen again, hopefully the signal will be stronger on the hills.” Jack and Lucy smiled at each other, Chloe had stopped listening and was busying herself with two dolls in the backseat.

  The journey was arduously slow, debris and abandoned cars littered the roads, the dead also proved troublesome as the Citroen developed dents and scratches making its way. Jack worried about the damage, not because it was his car, but because it needed to last the journey. He was also worried about fuel, he knew it was a stretch for it to last the entire trip, but he kept his worries to himself and concentrated on the task at hand.

  The drive itself was causing a lot of anxiety for Jack. The end of civilisation was still very new to him and the visions of horror were all too frequent, blood stains, bodies, car crashes and the walking dead were around every corner and Jack’s sensitive soul struggled with each sighting. While he was safely locked up at home, Jack had his eyes closed to the stark reality of the world. The short time he’d been out in the wild, he’d nearly died twice, and he’d been running on adrenaline, but now with time to reflect behind the wheel of the car, the damning truth of his existence began to nag at him and fill his gut with doubt. Doubt about everything, the trip to Yorkshire, their chances of survival and his own nerve to make it in a lawless world filled with flesh eating corpses. He glanced at Lucy and then in the rear-view mirror to Chloe, it didn’t help his fear. A girl and a woman he’d just met, both he’d developed a strong bond with, he felt he’d die for them, but still he reasoned with himself that he didn’t know either of them. It was a ludicrous situation, but then again, he thought about the logic behind the dead coming back to life, everything was ridiculous. Am I going to wake up soon?

  “You okay Jack?” Lucy could see the anxiety etched on Jack’s face.

  “I’m thinking too much.” Jack said without any other explanation.

  Lucy smiled sympathetically and seemed to understand. She had bee
n staring out of the window looking out for danger. Her mind was set, alert and determined. Lucy was strong and she was ready for a fight, she looked at both Jack and Chloe and knew that it was her job to keep them together and keep them safe at any cost. Lucy had never bought into the male chivalry idea and felt every bit as responsible for the lives of Jack and Chloe and would not hesitate putting her body on the line for those that she cared about. Worries and macabre thoughts filled her, but she wouldn’t let them control her, to Lucy, the mission to travel the 300 miles would be a success, they would make it together unscathed.

  -

  The first troublesome part of their journey came as they reached Alderly Edge; it was a small affluent town known for opulence and extravagance. Footballers lived in the area along with successful businesspeople who lived in large mansions and drank in champagne bars. Jack had hated the place before civilisation broke down due to the fact that it had no diversity, it was just a place for people to gather and outdo each other with their expensive trinkets: cars, jewellery, designer labels and Botox, it was hell on earth as far as he was concerned. He liked it even less as they came to cross the main road to see it blocked by a pile up of expensive cars. The dead were in abundance too, milling around or just stood motionless, there were at least 100. As the car approached, heads turned in their direction.

  Seeing the road blocked, Lucy and Jack looked at each other, trying to keep their worries silent to avoid Chloe noticing. Jack turned the car around and drove to a clearing they’d passed half a mile up the road.

  In hushed tones, Lucy and Jack began to formulate a plan to get across the road that blocked their route. It had taken nearly 45 minutes to drive four miles; a different route could prove just as troublesome and would take them to more densely populated areas. They had to get through the blocked road.

  Jack said, “We need to draw the dead away and then move a couple of the cars so we can pass, just like we did earlier, but without -” He hesitated, not wanting to recall the surreal events of the past couple of days, “Well you know.”