From Despair to Where

by Oliver Smith

  “Yeah, people have surprised me. You look at Greyholt before all this happened and people were obsessed with petty little squabbles and were generally quite bigoted towards anyone alien to them. The shit hits the fan and I expected this privileged bunch to roll over, but they didn’t, they’ve grouped together and are working hard and believe about the whole project. In a way, it’s like going back 50 years to how it used to be, apart from the dead wanting to eat us.” James said with a bitter laugh. “Do you guys have any questions or want to volunteer for any jobs?”

  Lucy spoke first, “I’d like to volunteer as a lookout and for the supply runs, I have the experience of being out there.”

  “Lucy!” Jack exclaimed, but quickly shut his mouth as she scolded him with her eyes. He tried a different tact, “Maybe we need to talk about it between ourselves and come back to you.” Jack had a pleading look in his eyes.

  “No worries, it’s understandable, take your time. We’ve got a meet tomorrow morning with the heads of all the job roles to discuss supplies, come along to that to learn more and meet the rest of the team building our futures. Now, let’s talk less shop and let’s get pissed.” James said trying to ease the tension that was building up between Jack and Lucy.

  They all turned their heads as they heard the front door close. A man with short brown hair walked in with a rifle slung over his shoulder, “Now then Jack.”

  It was Scott, Jack’s childhood friend.

  Chapter 37 - Tension

  Lucy and Jack argued for the first time as they settled into the first night of their new home. Jack protested Lucy’s insistence of being part of the supply runs and begged her to help with educating the children or helping on the farm. He used underhand tactics to try and get her not to take so many risks like using Chloe as an excuse that she shouldn’t put herself needlessly in danger. This riled Lucy further and full-blown war erupted.

  Much like when Jack had argued with Amy during their marriage, the feud between Lucy and Jack ended with him making a grovelling apology which, after a period of suffering, was graciously accepted. Jack’s selfish reasoning: that he didn’t want to lose Lucy, was heavily outweighed by Lucy’s desire to help the community by aiding them with their quest for the equipment and provisions needed to ensure its long-term sustainability goals. Lucy’s selfless outlook also forced Jack to quash any plans of his own to help the community from within, he couldn’t let Lucy go out there on her own. It might have been male bravado, or even simple worry, but he knew he would have to volunteer to go back out there into the wilderness to stay close to her. She was forcing his hand to turn his back on his natural cowardice.

  The following morning, Jack woke in resolute mood. He was up before Lucy and spent 20 minutes watching her peaceful face while she slept; the thought of her going out in the land of the dead made his stomach churn, but it was no match for the awe he felt at Lucy’s determination to help people, people she had only just met. As he sat watching her, he knew he had been too demanding of her, he’d gone against everything he’d ever felt for women, he had acted like he owned her, he was controlling, or at least attempted to be. He knew that he was acting this way out of self-interest, wanting to keep her alive, but her safety wasn’t his job, she was her own woman and a person who had shown a lot more composure and thought into their survival than the panic and fear that had driven Jack on. Deep down he was scared, scared of losing her, but he’d also fallen head over heels in love with Lucy and hadn’t known he was capable of such feelings and that scared him just as much. He knew he couldn’t lose another love in his life and this fear turned his personality so that he became a Neolithic man, determined to keep his woman locked up and safe from harm.

  Lucy stirred and opened her eyes and tensed, she relaxed when she saw Jack looking at her and smiled, “Hi there, how’d you sleep?”

  “Hey lazy bones, I slept well, you?”

  “Nightmares, but nothing new. Have you been watching me?”

  “Guilty. It’s your fault though, you look rather pretty when you sleep, what’s a guy to do?”

  Lucy chuckled and wrapped the covers around her, enjoying the warmth of the bed.

  “Hey Lucy, I want to talk to you. Hell, I want to apologise. I know I’ve been a bit of a cave man recently and I’ve been a bit needy too. You know how I feel about you and I sometimes get a bit overcome with worry.

  “I’m sorry and it’s not me, I’m going to back off a little and won’t stand in your way if you want to do things. I know I’ve been through this before and I’ll probably protest again, but I want you to know, I’m not like that, it’s just worry and that’s all.

  “I know it’s ridiculous and we’ve known each other for five minutes. But…

  “I’m in love with you.”

  Lucy looked happy and laughed, “I sometimes wonder who the woman is here, you’re a soppy one.”

  “Sensitive new age man, I think.” Jack said, longing to hear more from her.

  “I feel strongly towards you too Jack and you need to stop apologising.” She touched his hand and looked away, she was embarrassed and was finding it hard to express her feelings, like Jack, she didn’t think she’d be open to feelings of love for a long time, if ever.

  She met his gaze, Jack was smiling at her, “I understand why you’ve been like you have and I have to say Mr. that you will face a losing battle if you think you can change my mind once it’s set, I’m very obstinate, but I know your protests are coming from a good place and it endears me to you.

  “You do know I’m naked under here?” She said winking at him.

  “I’m all too aware, why do you think I’ve been waiting for you to wake up, I’ve been wanting to jump your bones.” He said as he leaned in and kissed her, feeling her soft body against his.

  Lucy had evaded the subject that she feared most.

  -

  Later that morning, James and Scott called to the house along with Magda. Magda introduced herself properly and apologised for the frosty reception she had given them at the village meeting. Magda’s main purpose for her visit was to take Chloe across to her house where she was going to be teaching the other children with the help of an elderly couple called the Robinsons. She wanted to introduce Chloe to the children and show her the ropes of her makeshift school. Surprisingly, the girl was eager to go and learn, or at least make friends with the other children.

  James and Scott informed Jack and Lucy that the meeting with the job heads was in half-an-hour, in the barn where they’d had their induction, and that they’d like Jack and Lucy to come along. They accepted the invitation, eagerly wanting to get started in their new roles.

  James asked, “Did you guys sort your shit out?” Smiling as he teased them, having witnessed the tension of the previous evening, “Sorry, I mean, did you discuss the roles you’d like to be involved with?”

  “We had a frank discussion, but I think we’re settled, I’d like to volunteer for the lookout and supply runs.” Lucy said enjoying James’ teasing.

  “I can see who wears the trousers.” James said grinning at Jack, “What about you mate? You fancy being a nurse or something?”

  “It is tempting, but I’ve only got the PVC nurse outfit and I fear I’d give some of the residents a heart attack.” Jack said laughing, “I’d also like to volunteer for the supply runs and lookout posts, I’ll help out elsewhere too.”

  Lucy looked at Jack, he hadn’t said he’d be joining her with the dangerous activities, she raised her eyebrows and said, “Are you sure, you’re not just doing this for me are you? Besides, I’d quite like to see that PVC outfit.”

  “You’re not trying to talk me out of it are you?” Jack said with a snigger; James and Scott unaware of their in joke, “I’m sure, besides, I’m not really much use for anything else, I think we’ve got the experience and knowhow now to be of some use, plus you can make sure I stay safe out there.”

  “Alright love birds, looks like you’ve made your choice. Fucking go
od job too, we need the help. Anything to add Scott?” James was evidently happy at their choice of jobs.

  “You’ll need some training, but me and James can help you. Good to have you both on board, I hope you’re a bit fitter than when we played 5 aside though Jacky-boy.” Scott said, mocking Jack from their previous sporting rivalries.

  “I’m a fighting machine Scott, I seem to remember you eating my dust on the football pitch anyway.” Jack said jovially.

  “Right, enough of this shit, we need to get to the barn.” James said as he walked out of the room.

  -

  The meeting was a lot smaller than the one of Jack and Lucy’s arrival. 12 men and three women, including Lucy, sat on an assortment of chairs around a makeshift table made from a large piece of metal sheeting resting on some barrels. The newcomers were welcomed warmly and they were impressed with the meeting of minds. It was only the fifth time the group had met like this, but it was organised, cooperative and had already achieved a lot in a short space of time. The head of each job role spoke at length about their progress and their needs, while James took notes; including a list of items that each group needed to achieve their goals. This list was then broken down and prioritised.

  The priorities were ranked as such:

  Supplies for water and toilet facilities

  Electrical supplies

  Diesel

  Food

  They all knew that the water supply was going to run out sooner or later and that they were on borrowed time. They needed to set up a water system to wash and more importantly, drink from. There was a supply of bottled water that would last some time, but it was agreed that this supply was to be saved for emergencies and times of drought.

  Arthur, who oversaw utilities, had a plan for drinking water, water to wash with and toilets. The plan was to use rainwater, but this needed the acquisition of water tanks, however, he knew in the nearby town of Ripon, a large plumbing supply store had a quantity of 100-gallon tanks. His plan revolved around using these tanks for drinking water, with a web of tarpaulin sheets to act as a giant funnel, filling them when it rained. They already had two large tanks that were used on the farm, the plan was to connect the existing tanks to the barn gutters and catch rain water, but because the barn roof and the tanks were well used and not exactly hygienic, these would be used for showers and washing of clothes and dishes.

  The toilet block was already in progress. They had designated a field away from the houses and had dug a trench latrine. It was going to be a throwback to simpler times and the once privileged community were going to have to get used to the rules of going to the toilet, namely: covering their own waste with soil after their business and then covering the trench with boards to ensure flies weren’t swarming around the community. It was undignified but was better than the alternative of living in their own filth and slowly succumbing to disease.

  Diesel was also high up on the list of priorities. The village had a fleet of four vans, a JCB and tractor that all ran on diesel. Vehicles weren’t allowed in the village, due to noise, but exceptions were made for the JCB and tractor as they were critical for heavy lifting and creating a secure perimeter around the village, the vans were for supply runs. James did have a large tank of red diesel, used for farm machinery, but this was now only half full and wouldn’t last long.

  Work had started on rigging up power for the refrigeration and freezer barn, as it had been christened; there was no need to loot fridges and freezers as every house in the village contained one of each that were no longer any use. Three houses also had solar panels which were in the process of being stripped by two of the braver members of Arthur’s team who were comfortable on roof tops. The power supply was to consist of a stand-alone power system using solar and wind power. Arthur had already mapped out what was needed and wanted more electricity than was required. He wanted to split the power in two so that renewable energy fed the freezers and fridges directly in the day and the excess charged a supply of car batteries to ensure power after dark and in calm conditions. Arthur was a wise man and recognised the importance of a battery reserve in the winter months when daylight is at a premium. As a result of his particular needs, Arthur had a long list of supplies that his team needed and, against James’ protests, had decided to come on the supply run to save valuable time on the expedition and avoid the need to go out again when inevitably a layman would pick up the wrong parts.

  The group continued their meeting of minds, discussing project needs, when they were interrupted by the sound of a loud engine as a vehicle drove carelessly into the farmyard. James looked annoyed and said to nobody in particular, “Fucking squaddies, not again.” He moved towards the barn door and said, “Stay here and continue the meeting, I’ll get rid of them.”

  Both Jack and Lucy had the same thought, as they both stood and followed James to the barn door, they peered out and watched around the corner as James marched purposefully towards a soldier who had stepped out of his military vehicle. They heard James shout, “What the fuck are you doing? I’ve told you about driving your noisy trucks into the village, we’ve got people working outside. Are you intent on bringing the dead upon us?”

  “Calm down James. We made sure we weren’t followed, plus we put down two on the way here so you should be thankful.” The soldier responded patronisingly.

  “What do you want?” James retorted.

  “Have you thought about our proposal? Our men will need your support.” The soldier said.

  “Look Anthony, you are all capable and trained. We can’t support you; we’ve got enough mouths to feed. Get your men organised and do what we’re doing. WORK!” James was irate.

  “You’ll need us when we launch our attack. We could quite easily take what we need.” The soldier said in a reasonable tone which went against the intended threat of his words.

  “Don’t fucking come here, endangering us with your ‘military intelligence’, threatening to take what you want. We’re here working to survive, I’m not sure what you’re doing, probably sat around playing cards behind your fences with your stockpiles of weapons. You want something, you’ll need to trade with us. We can’t feed your men and I don’t want them leering at our women either. I don’t trust them.” James wasn’t giving an inch to the soldier.

  “What do you want James?”

  “We will help you, but not here, you guys are too trigger happy and you attract too much attention, we’re doing all we can to stay under the radar, you’ve seen how many dead there are on the A1 just a mile or so away, they get wind of us and we’re fucked. I’m not asking for much, we’ll swap our farming knowledge, you have plenty of space in your army base to grow crops, but, and it’s a big but, we want guns and ammunition.”

  “We can’t give civilians guns.” Anthony held back a laugh as he said this.

  “Come on man. Don’t be ridiculous, this isn’t the old world. We need guns, it’s only a matter of time before we are faced with more than just a few stragglers, we need to protect ourselves, but I’m more concerned about the living. I know that desperate people will do desperate things and I don’t want to be a sitting duck here.” James possessed a certain authority that the soldier didn’t like from a civilian.

  “I’ll see what I can do. I’ll need to talk to the Colonel. I’ll be back in a few days.” Anthony turned and stepped into the cab of his truck.

  James called out, “Next time you come, make sure you park away from the village and come in on foot or you’ll get nothing from us.”

  The soldier grunted something indecipherable and got in the truck before the men noisily made their exit.

  James walked back to the barn and Lucy and Jack met him at the entrance, Jack asked, “What was that? What did they want?”

  “They’re pissing me off. Didn’t you recognise him?” James said looking at Jack, “That was Anthony from school, he’s in the army now and stationed at the army barracks down the road.”

  “Shit, yeah, I didn’t rec
ognise him. He was a thick fucker.” Jack was adopting James’ vernacular quickly

  “Well, it seems the troops stationed there are worried about their long-term supplies and want us to supply them with food. I don’t know if you heard, but he was almost threatening. I don’t know if that’s just Ant or whether the threats have come down the command chain. Fuck knows, but they’re sat in that base and they’re not fighting anyone, so I don’t know why they don’t grow something themselves. They seem a bit rudderless.” James said the last sentence to himself.

  “That doesn’t sound good, do you think they will take what they want by force?” Lucy asked looking vexed.

  “Fucked if I know. I’ll get them to trade though, we can teach them, and they can provide us with guns and ammunition. They’ll give in, they need us, plus they’re supposed to be fucking trained professionals, not mercenaries taking what they want.

  “Anyway, keep this chat quiet, if anyone asks, just tell people they were keeping us informed about the fight against the dead. Feel free to be positive about it, doesn’t hurt to keep people’s hope up.

  “Come on, let’s get back to the others and finish this meeting.” James seemed confident of getting his way with the soldiers and walked back into the barn with purpose.

  -

  The meeting was practically over when they returned, it was decided that the next supply run for electrical equipment and their water needs would happen in two days. The supply run team would meet again tomorrow to discuss strategies and formulate a plan for a stealth mission and a speedy exit.

  Chapter 38 - Back to the Wilderness

  The next morning was an early start. Much like the day before, James came around to Jack and Lucy’s new home and took them to the barn. They were the first there and James explained what the meeting was about, “We’re going to plan tomorrow’s supply run, I’ve got an idea for the best way to get in and out as quickly as possible so I’ll lead, please feel free to speak up though, you two have more experience out there so we’ll take onboard anything you have to say. I must stress though, we need to protect Arthur at all costs, he’s the brains here and without him, we’ll struggle to get power and water.”