Secrets of the Heart (Brie's Submission Book 20)

by Red Phoenix

  Brie hadn’t considered the idea, but she was open to it. “I’d like that.”

  After walking him out to their small backyard, she found a comfortable spot in the sand and knelt, facing their privacy fence covered in flowering vines. The fragrance of the flowers was reason enough to change the location of their session, but the soft sand, ocean breeze, and warm sunshine also added to the overall relaxing effect.

  “This is an excellent choice, Tono.”

  “I thought you might enjoy it.”

  He unzipped his equipment bag and laid out several bundles of jute beside her. Simply seeing the jute made her smile as she anticipated the alluring feel of its caress.

  “Sir Davis mentioned you are concerned about your meeting with Holloway. Is there anything else that is weighing on you?”

  Brie shook her head. “Nope.” She turned her body around to face him. “But you won’t believe all the information on Alonzo that I had access to in Italy. Oh, Tono, this next documentary is going to be even better than I dreamed it would be.”

  He smiled as he unwound the first bundle. “It’s good to see you so excited about it, Brie. You’re always looking ahead to start the next project. Your career will never get stagnant with that kind of energy.”

  She laughed. “There are times when I wished there were more than one of me. I simply don’t have enough time to do everything I want to do!”

  His low chuckle warmed her soul. “Let me give you some advice. There will always be enough time for the things that matter most to you. The rest of it can wait.”

  She smiled. “I need to make that my new mantra. I’ve been driving myself crazy thinking about securing support for this second documentary when all I want to do is go back to Italy and dive into all that rich material…but I also don’t want to miss a moment with Hope, and I need to start preparing for the new baby.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “New baby?”

  Brie giggled. “Yep. We’re trying for number two. Who knows how long it will take to get pregnant, but if this next little one is anything like Hope, we’ll be looking at a new member of the Davis family nine months from now.”

  “You do have a lot on your plate,” he admitted, smiling gently. “However, if you quiet your mind and focus on what matters most, the rest will fall into place. Trust me.”

  She smiled at him tenderly. “I’ve always trusted you, Tono.”

  “I feel the same,” he said fondly. “Now, turn around so we can begin.”

  She felt him settle down behind her. “Lean back against me and match my breath…”

  By synchronizing her breathing with his, Brie was instantly drawn into the peaceful harmony that was Tono’s soul.

  “Good, toriko.” Lifting up the rope, he began binding her chest. He pulled her arms back so she was completely immobilized and dependent on him. Brie closed her eyes for a moment, taking in the sweet smell of the jute and the delicious caress of it as it slid across her skin. The binding took a long time, but she found the process relaxing as he tugged and pulled on the jute.

  As Tono bound her, he made the knots tight, forcing her to breathe in shorter, shallower, breaths. Having to focus on her breathing helped Brie to stay in the moment and not let her mind wander—something Tono knew she desperately needed.

  “The marks will be beautiful when I am finished,” he commented as he worked.

  She smiled to herself, already feeling the gentle sub high his jute evoked.

  Brie stilled her mind further, concentrating on the waves breaking just beyond her sight while she took in the scent of the flowers and enjoyed the soft breeze playing across her skin. Closing her eyes to soak it all in, she was distracted by a tiny black hole that seemed to grow in her mind’s eye. Without realizing it, she began breathing faster and broke the synchronization she had with him.

  “What’s wrong, toriko?”

  Not understanding it, she opened her eyes. “Nothing.”

  “You are hiding something. I can feel it,” he stated calmly.

  Suddenly, she felt like she couldn’t catch her breath and began to panic in the rope. “Tono…”

  He held her against him and said in a soothing voice, “Breathe with me.”

  It was only Brie’s deep trust in Tono that staved off the terror, as she desperately tried to reconnect her breathing with his.

  “Yes,” he said gently. “Slower…toriko.”

  Eventually, she felt his peace invade her soul and she quieted as he rocked her in his arms.

  They stayed connected like that for a long time—Brie relaxed in his arms, her soul at peace. She heard a seagull squawking overhead. Closing her eyes, she imagined she was flying with it, gliding on the ocean breeze. She wished the moment would last forever.

  Tono finally broke the silence. “Can you tell me what that was about,” he asked as he began the slow process of unbinding her.

  “I’m…not sure,” she confessed. She was concerned that he had felt it, too.

  “What are you afraid of, toriko?”

  The instant he asked the question, Darius’s face popped into her head.

  She slumped against him, whispering, “You are right. I am afraid of something.”

  “What?” he asked gently, holding her close.

  “I need to confront someone who hurt me as a child.”

  He brushed away a strand of her hair that the breeze had blown in her face. “It is important that you do this.”

  “I know…” she agreed.

  “There is no reason to fear. Sir Davis will be there to protect you.”

  Brie felt a pit in her stomach. She’d never told Sir about her brief run-in with Darius at the Christmas party that Mary had taken her to.

  She realized now that it had been a terrible mistake.

  Tono looked at her with empathy “I feel the disruption in your spirit. I say this as your friend. Face this now, Brie. Nothing else matters.”

  She felt her heart constrict. She knew he was right.

  He pulled her to him and held her as they listened to the ocean waves and children laughing in the distance.

  “I will be with you in spirit.”

  “Yes…” she whispered, knowing he truly would.

  After Tono left, Brie asked Sir to sit down.

  He tilted his head in concern. “What’s wrong, babygirl?”

  Taking a deep breath, Brie took a moment to build her courage. “Sir…” She looked into his eyes, overcome with regret. “I failed to tell you about something that happened a month ago at the party Mary took me to.”

  His expression became more serious. “What happened?”

  She tried to speak but had to clear her throat when it closed up. “I…I caught a glimpse of Darius at the party.”

  He frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She hastily explained, “I ran to the bathroom before he saw me, and by the time I’d gotten up enough courage to face him, he was gone.”

  “That doesn’t explain why you didn’t tell me,” he stated gravely.

  She looked down at her lap. “Even though nothing happened, I knew you would be worried and I didn’t want Darius ruin our first Christmas with Hope.”

  “Do you understand how serious this is, Brie?”

  Her heart sped up as she met his gaze. “I realize now that I should have told you that night.”

  “We made a vow to be open with each other about everything, and yet you kept this vital piece of information from me?”

  Her heart sank when she saw the look of betrayal in his eyes. “I was wrong not to say anything, Sir.”

  His voice rose in anger. “What if he was stalking you, Brie? What if that is the reason he was at the party?”

  “I…didn’t think…”

  “No, you didn’t. You put yourself at risk and you failed to keep your promise to me. I haven’t doubted you for a single moment since we made that vow. But now you have me wondering.” Meeting her gaze, he asked in a cold voice, “What else have you
been keeping from me.”

  She shook her head. “Nothing. I swear it!”

  His frowned deepened. “Like you swore you would always be open with me?”

  Brie closed her eyes. She knew she caused this terrible rift between them by her silence.

  “I thought we stood on a foundation of trust. It’s the only way I can keep you and Hope safe—and you broke that.”

  Brie swallowed down the lump growing in her throat. “I was wrong not to tell you about Darius, but I will never make that mistake again.”

  He growled in disbelief.

  She broke down in tears, angry at herself for breaking her promise and angry at Darius for putting her in this terrible situation.

  But Brie knew what she needed to move beyond this, and she needed Sir by her side to do it. Cradling his face in her hands, she cried out desperately, “I need you, Thane. I need you to be with me when I confront him. I don’t want Darius to have control over me anymore.”

  Something seemed to break inside him when he heard her plea, and he crushed her against his chest. “I’m here for you. I will always be here for you…”

  Brie let out a sob of relief, clutching to him, grateful for the love of her condor.

  A man if his word, Sir set up a meeting with Darius. When he had asked her who she wanted as the mediator, Brie had chosen Baron.

  Because of her experiences with Darius, Brie had been afraid of Baron when they’d first scened together. She was grateful to Baron who had been kind and gentle to her, helping her learn to trust again.

  By having Baron at the meeting when she confronted the man who had hurt her as a child, it felt like she’d come full circle.

  “Do you have your list with you?” Sir asked, just before they left for the meeting.

  Brie pulled the paper from her purse to show him, wanting to reassure herself that she did, in fact, have it. She was so nervous that she couldn’t leave anything to chance.

  “I had Baron contact Darius. He will meet us at Thompson’s office fifteen minutes after we arrive.”

  Sir continued. “Baron will set the ground rules and I will be there to keep Darius to them. You don’t have to worry about a thing, Brie.”

  She smiled up at him weakly.

  Reading her uncertainty, he assured her, “If, at any point, you need to call the meeting off or want time alone, let us know. This is about you getting what you need out of this meeting. It has nothing to do with him.”

  “Thank you for reminding me of that.”

  He caressed her cheek tenderly. “I’m here to support you, babygirl.”

  Rytsar came down from upstairs with Hope riding on his shoulders. She was giggling hysterically as he galloped like a horse toward them.

  Brie smiled nervously at Rytsar, unable to mask her apprehension.

  “There is no need for you to put yourself through this,” the Russian stated. “I have connections.”

  Brie chuckled uncomfortably. “I don’t want him dead, Rytsar. But I need him to understand the damage he caused—and I have to be the one to tell him.”

  “I admire your strength, radost moya, but I would prefer to off the man.”

  She laughed. “I appreciate the offer.”

  He handed Hope to Sir and walked over, grabbed the back of her neck as he kissed her fiercely on the forehead. “God be with you.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  On the drive there, Brie mentally prepared herself. She realized this would be the first time she would have control over Darius. There was something very empowering in that.

  They walked into the private office Thompson had set aside for her. Brie sat down and got out her list, looking over all the points she wanted to say.

  Baron walked in to inform them, “He should be here shortly.”

  Brie sucked in her breath.

  “Is there anything you need?” Baron asked.

  She looked up at him anxiously. “I could use a hug.”

  Baron glanced at Sir, who nodded. Walking over to her, he threw his arms around Brie and held her tight, infusing her with his courage.

  When he broke away, he told her, “You’ve got this.”

  She nodded, strengthened by his presence.

  However, when she heard Darius’s voice on the other side of the door, she froze.

  “Are you ready or do you need more time?” Sir asked her.

  Brie stood up and took a deep breath. Facing the door, she stated, “I’m ready.”

  Baron walked over and opened it, instructing Darius to come in.

  As soon as Darius stepped inside, Sir cocked his fist back and swung, punching him directly in the face.

  Darius fell backward, crying out as he hit the floor.

  Sir shook out his hand, turning toward Brie. “That has been a long time coming.”

  Brie stood there, stunned. Sir was a reserved man, but she deeply appreciated him defending her honor.

  Darius struggled to his feet, wiping at his bloody nose while he glared at Sir. “That was uncalled for!”

  “I disagree,” Sir answered. “I am her husband.”

  Darius clenched his fists and almost looked ready to charge Sir, but Baron stepped in between them and pointed to the chair opposite of Brie. “You will sit there for the duration of the meeting.”

  Darius glanced at Sir angrily but took his seat, staring grimly at Brie.

  She felt a chill crawl up her spine when she met his gaze. Brie was grateful for the blood on his face. Darius deserved it after everything that he had put her through as a child.

  Baron slid a box of tissues toward him. While Darius wiped the blood from his nose, Baron explained the rules of this meeting.

  “Mrs. Davis will speak. You are not to respond unless she specifically asks you to.”

  Darius grunted. His eyes locked on hers as he set the bloody tissues on the table.

  Baron grasped Darius’s shoulder tightly and gave him a hard shake. “If you fail to respect the rules at any point, I will escort you out myself.”

  Scowling at Sir, Darius replied, “He better not touch me again.”

  Sir crossed his arms. “Don’t give me reason to.”

  “Darius,” Brie said.

  His eyes returned to her.

  “As much as I hate what you did, I appreciate that you came here today.”

  He glanced at Baron, who was towering over him. “Look, like I told this guy…since you and I are trying to make it in Hollywood, it’s better we clear the air now. So have at me, Brianna.”

  Her skin crawled when he said her name, her mind immediately flashing back to all the times he’d terrorized her as a child.

  Choosing not to sit down, she remained on her feet as she picked up her list from the table and faced him.

  “Darius.”

  She met his gaze and said, “You made my life hell. As a child, I was forced to endure your violence and torture even though I did nothing to provoke it.”

  Narrowing her eyes, she continued. “I remember all the unspeakable names you called me, how you used to chase me down after school so that you and your friends could beat me up, as well as that time you stabbed me with the used needle. But…that wasn’t the worst of it.”

  With her eyes boring into him, she said, “I have never forgotten the day you sexually assaulted me.”

  When he opened his mouth to protest, Baron barked, “Don’t speak.”

  Brie took a deep breath and forged on. “You molested me, Darius. It didn’t matter that we were both the same age. It was sexual abuse and it is something I’ve carried with me ever since.”

  She felt her anger rising in her chest when she told him, “You made me live in fear and you stole my childhood. I was terrified of black men for years because they reminded me of you. I hate you for that.”

  Brie frowned at him. “Even though I was lucky we moved away, I’ve felt the burden of guilt knowing that you would choose someone else to take my place. That some other girl would suffer wha
t I’d suffered.”

  Glaring at Darius, she lifted her chin defiantly. “I don’t know if you ever thought of me after I left, but you altered my reality and I want you to know that. But you never broke me.”

  Brie leaned over the table to look him dead in the eye. “I am not forgiving you today because you deserve it. I’m forgiving you because I don’t deserve to suffer anymore. You may have ruined my childhood, but you will not have any part of my future.”

  Brie sat down, setting the paper on the table. She glanced at Sir, who nodded to her in encouragement.

  “I only have a couple questions,” she informed him.

  Darius sat up, licking his lips nervously.

  The first question she asked had been burning in her mind since the very first day he zeroed in on her. “Why?”

  “Why?” He took a moment before answering her. “I was angry back then and you were an easy target.”

  Brie frowned. “But I can’t understand why you were so cruel to me—you seemed to enjoy it.”

  He shook his head.

  “Answer her,” Baron growled.

  Glancing at Sir with a wary look, Darius told her, “I experienced violence every day at home as a kid. It’s what I lived and breathed. And you…you seemed so innocent. I needed to teach you what life was really like. And, yes, although I may not be proud of it now, I enjoyed hurting you back then.”

  Brie felt the anger rising again.

  “You weren’t wrong about me, Brianna. I don’t have a clean record. I was in and out of juvie most of my childhood, but I’ve broken that cycle of violence. That’s part of the reason I agreed to come here today. You need to know I’m not like that anymore.”

  Although she hoped that was true, Darius hadn’t acknowledged the pain he’d subjected her to, so Brie confronted him on it. “You hurt me more than you’ll ever know. There’s no excuse for what you did.”

  Darius looked down at his hands, opening and closing them slowly. Finally, he looked up and told her, “I get it. There’s no excuse for the things I did. And, for what it’s worth, I am sorry.”

  Brie stared at him in silence, stunned. She never thought he’d say those words. But what surprised Brie more was that hearing them didn’t really change how she felt. No explanation or apology could ever right the wrongs that he had committed against her. It was having him acknowledge it which mattered most.