Cheesy on the Eyes: Fake Dating Romcom (Slice Book 5)

by Teagan Hunter

  “Don’t tell them this, but I do too. I never take the ‘traditional shot.’ I always toss it in the bushes.”

  “Isn’t there some law against wasting alcohol?”

  “Only the good shit,” I argue.

  “Fair. Toss it?”

  “Definitely.”

  “Everyone ready?” Porter asks. We all nod and hold our shot glasses up in a toast. “To shitty food, mediocre liquor, and good friendships! Drink, drink, drink!”

  Everyone but me and Thea tosses the liquor back.

  “So fucking gross,” Foster grumbles. “I want more.”

  “Agreed,” Porter says, collecting the glasses and resuming his place behind the bar. “Bar is officially open. Let’s hear your requests!”

  We pepper him with our preferences, mostly tequila because—let’s be honest—it keeps shit the most interesting, and he sets to work making our orders.

  Once our drinks are distributed, we tuck into our silly feast and kick back, a soft playlist that consists mostly of Led Zeppelin—a dead giveaway Dory made it—playing in the background.

  “So, Thea, how long have you and Sully been seeing each other?” Wren asks from across the fire pit. “I don’t think Winston shared that tidbit during all his gloating, and as you know, Sully’s a steel trap. He’s not divulging any juicy information.”

  “You don’t have to answer any of their prying questions,” I tell Thea. “You can just ignore them like I do.”

  She giggles. “I don’t mind ’em as much as you do. We’ve been seeing each other for a little over a month now,” she tells Wren. “We actually met at Slice.”

  “No shit?” Foster grins. He looks over at his wife wistfully. “I told you that place was magic.”

  “It’s the sauce,” Wren agrees, looking just as smitten.

  “Did you two meet at Slice as well?”

  “We all kind of did in one way or another,” Drew says.

  Huh. I hadn’t even thought about that.

  Wren and Foster reconnected at Slice, Drew and Winston started as enemy co-workers there, and Porter and Dory had an accidental one-night stand that turned into a whole hell of a lot more.

  “That is so weird. My brother and his fiancée got back together because of her obsession with the pizza.”

  “I think Dad ought to put this shit online. He’d go viral in a heartbeat,” Wren suggests.

  “I can see the headlines now,” Porter agrees. “Five Couples Find Love Over Pizza.”

  “True Love or the Ultimate Cheesy Story?” Drew adds.

  “Super fucking cheesy,” Winston gripes, but he still looks at his wife like she’s his everything.

  “Speaking of cheesy love stories…anyone have any plans for New Year’s Eve?” Dory asks.

  Wren sits forward excitedly. “Shut up. Is that the date?”

  “You guys finally settled on one?” Drew says.

  “Yep!” Dory beams. “We’ll have the ceremony a few hours before midnight and just party until the ball drops.”

  The girls start giggling and talking amongst themselves.

  “Looks like you need to step up your game,” Winston says from beside me. “You’re about to be the only one here not hitched.”

  “Stop trying to rush the man, Win,” Porter tells him. “When he knows, he’ll know.”

  “But we don’t have to tell him that,” Foster adds. “He has the juju. I bet he already knows exactly who his future bride is and he’s just stringing us along for shits and grins.”

  I shake my head. “I’m as clueless as you guys are. I think I’m kind of blocked from my own stuff.”

  “Makes sense,” Porter says, but Foster disagrees, and the two launch into a debate over it.

  “What about Thea?” Winston asks quietly, leaning into me.

  “What about her?”

  “Any juju?”

  I glance over, and she has her head thrown back, laughing at something I missed.

  It hits me again, that same sense of ease and calmness I felt last night when we discovered our paths unknowingly crossed years ago.

  When she told me she was the girl in the bar, I believed her right away.

  Sitting at that bar my first night in town, I knew something about this place felt right. I just could never put my finger on it. When Winston said I could crash on his couch, I didn’t hesitate to say yes, even though I didn’t know him.

  Staying felt right.

  Just like being with Thea feels right.

  Even though I know what we’re doing is all pretend, I can’t help but feel like there are moments when it’s not fake at all, and I don’t just mean during sex.

  It’s moments like right now, watching her laugh and enjoy herself, seeing her fit perfectly into our group like she was always meant to be part of it.

  And I want more.

  More of this. Of our moments alone together.

  Of her.

  She peeks over at me, tilting her head. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

  I don’t think. I just wrap my hand around her head and bring her lips to mine.

  I kiss her hard, unapologetically.

  And I don’t let up, not even when my friends start whistling and hollering at us to get a room.

  I can taste whiskey on her lips, loving how the spice mixes with the vanilla she always tastes like. I can taste the desire, the visceral need I’m feeling too.

  She whimpers when I pull away, breathing hard.

  “What…” She draws in a deep breath. “What was that for?”

  “Just because.”

  “Because you’re trying to make me all hot and horny in front of your friends?”

  “Oh, are there people here?”

  “Sully…”

  “Let’s get out of here.”

  “Yes,” she says, no hesitation.

  I rise to my feet, reaching for her hand and pulling her up along with me.

  I drop our plates onto the loveseat, leading her around the fire pit without a word to anyone.

  “Well, that answers my question. Leaving so soon?” Winston calls after us with a mocking tone.

  “Damn, that tequila’s working fast. Wren, you ready to go yet? Ouch! Fucking hell, Winston! I didn’t even say anything this time.”

  “The implication was there, Foster,” he seethes.

  I’m almost sad we’re leaving because Foster is definitely getting his ass beat tonight.

  Almost.

  I lead us around the corner.

  “What question did Winston ask? Did he—”

  I press her against the side of the house, silencing her questions. Sliding my body against hers, I let her feel just how serious I am about leaving.

  “Oh hell,” she mutters before smashing her lips against mine.

  Our mouths fuse together, and I slip my hands under her ass, bunching her skirt and hauling her up. She wraps her legs around my waist and moans as my cock rubs the spot she needs me most.

  Her heat spreads through me, and it’s painfully obvious she is in fact not wearing any underwear.

  I grunt, pulling my mouth from hers. “Jesus, Thea. Have you been running around with nothing on underneath this skirt all night?”

  She laughs softly. “Three hours—it took you nearly three hours to notice. I never put them back on after you slid them down my legs in your kitchen.”

  I groan at the memory, dropping my head to her shoulder, nipping at the skin there. “You’re killing me. I’m so close to burying myself inside you right”—I grind against her and she meets my thrusts with her own eagerness—“fucking now.”

  “Then do it.” She drops her lips to my ear, sucking on the lobe and driving me even more insane. “Take me.”

  Her request has me driving against her again, and I must hit just the right spot because her moan is louder than before.

  “I swear to god, if you two are out there having sex, I will get a restraining order and ban you from my property!” Porter yells.
<
br />   “Funny coming from you, Mr. Fuck in Someone Else’s Bathroom,” Winston says to him.

  “Anyone up for the Cha-Cha Slide?” Drew singsongs, backing up her husband.

  “Cha-Cha Slide?” Thea questions, her breaths ragged.

  “You had to be there.”

  “I’m sure it was hilarious, whatever it was, but Sully?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Take me home.”

  Slice Seventeen

  Thea

  We’re exactly one week away from the wedding, and I’m starting to forget what sleeping in my own bed feels like.

  I’ve spent every single night on Sully’s boat since he showed up at the shop that night.

  It never fails.

  I do my best to go home after work and ignore the pull toward the docks, but I always find myself stepping onto the deck of his boat by sundown.

  He’s a drug pulsing through my veins, and I’m more addicted than I care to admit.

  “Let me get this straight,” Sully says as he steers his old beater onto the road I grew up on. “You moved out of your childhood home where you had free room and board and into your apartment beside the shop because you caught your mom and dad making out on the couch?”

  “You make it sound like it happened once. It was three times. Thrice! And the third time my mom was down to her bra and my dad’s hand was up her skirt.” I shudder at the memory. “Tell me you wouldn’t move out if you saw that.”

  “Oh, I’d puke right in my mouth if I saw that shit. But free room and board…”

  “Says you who moved out of Winston’s where you had the same situation going on.”

  “He and Drew kept banging in the living room whenever they thought I was asleep. Little did they know, I was usually awake working on my college courses. I spent a pretty penny on noise-canceling headphones trying to drown those sounds out. Winston’s a fucking talker.”

  “You’re not exactly quiet yourself,” I point out.

  “I don’t hear you complaining.”

  “Oh, I definitely am not. Speaking of your bedroom activities…I didn’t expect you to be so…commanding in bed.”

  “Why? Just because I’m…what did you call me? The quiet, soulful one?”

  “Honestly? Yeah.”

  “Don’t judge a book by its cover, Thea.”

  “I’ve learned my lesson there.”

  He gives me that smirk that’s growing on me. “I didn’t think you’d like it so much.”

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re such a strong-willed smartass, so I was sure you’d fight me on it.”

  “I didn’t either,” I admit. “Think I’d like it so much, I mean. But it’s kind of…hot.”

  The ache between my legs returns like I didn’t just have Sully inside me a mere hour ago.

  That’s just how it seems to be with him. I can’t get enough.

  And not just the sex.

  It’s being with him. We don’t even have to be talking or screwing. There’s just something so calming about his presence. It’s like when I sit in silence in the mornings and just breathe, grounding myself.

  Sully gives me that sense of peace, and though I like being with him more than I ever thought I would, it scares the fuck out of me.

  Since that day I was late to work because I couldn’t quit thinking about him, I’ve done everything in my power to not think about what this whole thing between us means. And by everything in my power, I mean fill every free moment with something, anything—including him.

  It sounds ridiculous, but it’s so easy when we’re together that I don’t have to think. I can just be.

  I bet if I sat and analyzed that for any amount of time, I’d rethink that angle.

  So, I don’t.

  “I’m glad you think so.” Another cocky grin. “Which house?”

  “That white one,” I say, pointing to a two-story just three houses down.

  “Um, Thea…they’re all white.”

  “Fine, smartass. The one with the mossy shutters and dogwoods growing around the mailbox.”

  He pulls the truck into the drive, parking behind Jonas’ car.

  “You could have just said the one with the stupid expensive car in the driveaway.” He lets out a low, impressed whistle. “I think Porter might be the only other dude on the island rich enough to drive something like that.”

  “Oh, that old thing?”

  He lolls his head to the side, eyeing me. “Please. I guarantee that car turns you on more than I do.”

  I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Sully.

  “She is pretty, huh?” I check out the lines of the BMW M4 coupe my brother bought himself as a holy shit I made it into the NFL reward. “A whole lot of ponies under that hood.”

  “Has he let you drive it?”

  “I’m the older sister—he didn’t have a choice.”

  “I like your style, Thea,” he says, mimicking my words from our day on the beach. He nods toward the house. “Ready to get in there?”

  “No.”

  He laughs. “Well, that’s too bad. Your parents are expecting us and I’m ninety-five percent sure your dad already hates me, so I don’t want to be late.”

  “He doesn’t hate you…I don’t think.”

  “So reassuring.”

  “He’s just protective,” I say. “I’m his little girl, you know? It’s hard for him to let go of that.”

  “Do I give off asshole vibes or something?”

  “Not at all, but I’m pretty sure I could bring home a puppy and my dad would be wary of it breaking my heart.”

  “He sounds like a good dad.” That’s something he never had, and I don’t miss the sad smile that flashes across his lips before he clears his throat.

  “Ready?” I ask, changing the subject.

  “To face the parents of my fake girlfriend? Sure. Why the hell not?”

  The smile plastered on his face is fake, and I don’t know if it’s because he’s not looking forward to the act we’re about to put on, or because we’re still using words like fake girlfriend.

  “Come on,” I say, shoving at his shoulder playfully, trying to lighten the mood. “It won’t be that bad. That’s why we’ve been spending so much time together, remember? To prepare for this. Well, that and I’m incredible at sex.”

  “I knew you just wanted me for my body.”

  “Please. You were supposed to keep your dangly bits to yourself, remember? You’re the one who couldn’t resist my lady loins.”

  “Yes, Thea, it was most certainly your lady loins I couldn’t resist. Couldn’t possibly have been anything else.”

  “Like what?”

  He laughs, but there’s no humor behind it. “Your confidence. Your complete disregard for trying to fit in. Your smarts, and not just your smart mouth. Your smile. That annoying half-wheeze, half-laugh thing you do. The face you make when you come. Your sweet tooth.” He blows out a breath. “Pretty much every-fucking-thing about you.” He looks over at me. “Does that answer your question?”

  My heart is pounding so hard I can feel it in my ears.

  I was not expecting that long list.

  I wasn’t expecting every word he spoke to slide over me in warmth.

  I wasn’t expecting to feel so goddamn happy.

  Licking at my dry lips, I nod. “Yeah, Sully, that answers my question.”

  “Good. Now, can we get inside before your father starts digging my grave? Something tells me he already has the plot picked out.”

  “Do you want a refill?” my mother asks Sully for the second time. “We have more sweet tea, or there’s beer in the fridge if you’d like.”

  “You never offer me any beer,” I pout. “And I’m your daughter.”

  “It’s because you’re my daughter I don’t offer you a beer. You can go grab your own.”

  Sully snickers at my mom’s response. “I’m good, Mrs. Schwartz. Thank you.”

  “How many times do I have to tell you to call me L
etica? Mrs. Schwartz was my mother-in-law, and I do not want to be likened to her.”

  “What?! Nana is a saint!” Jonas says.

  “She’s a damn menace,” my dad pipes up. “Always sticking her nose in everyone’s business.”

  “Well, Mom, hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you are definitely just like Nana in that regard,” my brother says.

  “I’m sorry, did you want to be locked out of the house tonight? Again?”

  “Again?” I ask. “What’d you do now, Jonas?”

  “He was being a shithead, so your mother—rightfully—locked him out.”

  “Mom!”

  “What?” She shrugs. “I didn’t lock his pregnant fiancée out, just him. He shouldn’t have kept trying to destroy our wedding plans.”

  “Their wedding plans,” I correct her.

  “Theirs, ours—whatever.” My mom huffs. “After he went ahead with the whole signed football idea with nobody’s approval, he called the vendor and changed the reception playlist.”

  “To what?”

  “Exclusively The Rolling Stones.” Jonas points at his fiancée. “They’re your favorite! I did it for you.”

  “Just because I love them doesn’t mean I only want to listen to them at. Our. Wedding!”

  “Exactly—our wedding. You sided with my mom and turned against me!”

  “I was hormonal.” She shrugs. “You created this monster, not me.”

  “I am so sorry I roped you into this madness,” I say to Sully. “They’re embarrassing.”

  “Oh, hush. We’re not that bad.”

  “You are pretty exhausting,” my dad chimes in.

  “You stay out of this, Mr. Fun-Ruiner!”

  I turn to my dad. “What’d you do to get in the doghouse, Pops?”

  “Put my foot down and said there will be no chicken dancing. So, naturally, she’s pissed.”

  “I’m not pissed,” my mother says, her lips pulling down. “I’m just…disappointed.”

  “You haven’t been disappointed since the day you married me thirty-some-odd years ago.” He winks at her.

  “Can you not?” Jonas says, gagging a little at the innuendo.

  “Do you even know how long we’ve actually been married?” my mom says to him, ignoring her son.

  My dad rolls his eyes, but there’s no real irritation in them. “Of course I do. You’ve reminded me every day since we were twenty.”