Carrying Her Millionaire's Baby

by Sophie Pembroke

  And some could only ever be one stupid, drunken night of passion.

  Because, whatever Grace said, Zoey wanted that for ever kind of happiness. And Ash was the last person who could give that to her—because he’d already had it. Lightning didn’t strike twice and all that.

  And, even if it could, she couldn’t live with always knowing that she was second choice, that she’d never live up to Grace’s memory, whatever she did. Grace had been a ridiculously hard act to follow as a friend. But as a lover? A wife?

  ‘There’s no one in the world I’d rather be stranded in paradise with.’

  Ash’s words came back to her, as if on the wind, and in them she heard what he wasn’t saying. No one in the world. No one left living, he meant.

  Zoey shook her head and tendrils of hair slipped out of the knot and whipped around her face.

  Okay. So, however incredible last night had been, one night was what it had to stay. That part was easy.

  Forgetting how good it had been...that might be a little harder.

  But she had to. For the sake of their friendship.

  Dragging herself to her feet, she started back along the beach, towards the jetty where they’d moored the boat the night before. She could already make out a figure standing there, running a hand over the boat. Her heart contracted a little at the sight.

  Ash.

  Yeah, this might be harder than she’d hoped.

  The problem, she mused as she walked, was that Grace had set Ash up as the perfect husband. In her head, Zoey saw the two of them as the ideals of marriage—everything she was looking for. It was only natural, really, that she should fall a little bit in love with him too. Or at least with the idea of him.

  That was the part she had to focus on. The idea of Ash as part of Ash-and-Grace, couple of the year, was one thing. The reality was something different altogether.

  Ash the idea was perfect, unattainable, a dream—and he belonged to Grace. She could admire and adore him from afar, like she might a movie star. That was easy.

  Ash the reality was her best friend, broken by the loss of his family, who needed her as a shoulder to cry on, as a support network and as someone to remember Grace with. She could do all that—she had been doing it for two years.

  But the first wasn’t real. And the second... He didn’t need a best friend lusting over him or making things weird just because they got carried away with the romance of being stranded on a desert island, and the adrenaline of running out on yet another wedding. He didn’t need a friend idealising him, or imagining him naked all the time.

  He just needed her to be his friend. And she could do that.

  With a sharp nod to herself, Zoey quickened her step. They’d check out the boat and head back to the hotel—not so she could marry David, but so she could set things right there.

  Then she could go home, and she and Ash could go back to being friends again. Just friends.

  The only problem with her plan, she realised as she reached the jetty, was that she wasn’t entirely sure which of the two Ashes she’d slept with last night.

  The ideal or the best friend.

  CHAPTER SIX

  ‘HOW’S IT LOOKING?’ Zoey’s voice called out, closer than he expected, and Ash spun around so fast he clocked his head on the side of the boat. ‘Ouch.’ She winced. ‘Sorry.’

  Okay, that was not going to help his headache. One he was pretty sure was caused more by stress and confusion and the lack of a pillow than alcohol.

  ‘You surprised me.’ Rubbing his temple, he stepped away from the boat and closer to her, eyeing her warily. Which Zoey was this? The carefree one he’d made love to last night, or the frightened one who’d run away from him this morning?

  Careful scrutiny revealed neither. This Zoey looked cautious, but not afraid. She also looked determined.

  Ash decided not to worry just yet about what she was determined to do. As long as it wasn’t marrying David, how bad could it be?

  ‘I’m sorry I ran out on you before.’ She bit her bottom lip as she watched him from under her lashes. ‘It’s sort of a bad habit of mine.’

  Ash couldn’t help the bark of laughter that escaped from him. ‘Well, at least you were wearing a towel instead of a white dress this time.’

  Zoey laughed and the sound made his heart feel lighter.

  ‘So? How is the boat looking?’

  Okay, so they were avoiding the subject of them for a while. Probably for the best, Ash acknowledged. He wasn’t sure he could talk rationally about it until the urge to kiss her again had left his system.

  He just wished he knew how long that would take.

  It was crazy. He’d never looked at Zoey this way before last night. And now...now it was all he could see.

  For distraction, Ash glanced back at the stolen yacht. She wanted to know how it was. He needed to focus on that, and how they were going to get off the island. If that was actually their best move, right now.

  ‘Well, that depends,’ he said.

  ‘On what?’

  ‘On what you want to use it for.’ He was not above some boat sabotage if it meant keeping her from a wedding he knew she didn’t really want to go through with. Especially not if her reason for going back was because he’d screwed up and kissed her last night. Not to mention all the other stuff he’d done to her...

  Focus on the boat, Ash.

  Zoey rolled her eyes. ‘I’m not planning on marrying David, if that’s what you’re worried about.’

  ‘Good.’ Relief washed over him. ‘Because I was starting to worry about how truly awful last night was for you if your first instinct was to run back to him.’

  Colour flooded Zoey’s cheeks and Ash started to regret the joke—until she said, almost to herself, ‘That wasn’t the problem at all.’

  Interesting. Very interesting.

  Okay, so not thinking about it and not talking about it wasn’t working—in fact, the not thinking part seemed pretty much impossible.

  Which meant they needed to deal with it head-on.

  Moving closer, Ash couldn’t stop himself pressing the point. Male pride, perhaps, he admitted to himself. Or maybe just a desperate need to fix things with his best friend.

  ‘So what was the problem, Zo? Why did you run away from me this morning?’

  ‘I wasn’t running away—’ she started, then broke off and sighed. ‘Okay, fine, I was. I just... I needed to figure some stuff out in my head. Last night was...unexpected.’

  ‘It definitely was,’ Ash agreed. He could never have predicted they’d end up here. But now they were, he couldn’t imagine how things could be any different. How he could ever get back to looking at Zoey and only seeing a friend.

  What had changed the way he saw her? He wasn’t even sure. But he had a feeling it had something to do with the way she’d looked at him in that damn cupboard and told him to get her out of there.

  Suddenly, it had been the two of them against the world. And that had felt...right.

  Zoey was still talking. God, where was his focus today?

  Still in bed with Zoey Hepburn.

  ‘And I get that we need to talk about it,’ Zoey went on as he forced himself to tune back in. This was important. ‘So I figure we should probably get that over and done with before we head back to the hotel.’

  Over and done with. Well, that was a telling phrase. Ash felt his spirits sink as he realised what she was doing.

  She was going to try and brush the whole night under the carpet. Talk about it and then pretend it never happened. And he could understand why, really he could. It wasn’t exactly the best timing, or the ideal circumstances. But he knew how not talking about things could fester.

  Ash tried to live without regrets these days. And while he certainly wasn’t going to regret making love to Zoey Hepburn—how could he, whe
n it had been the best thing to happen to him in two long years?—Ash knew that if they didn’t resolve things properly between them now, he’d regret that later.

  He looked back at the boat again. It wasn’t in bad shape, considering the battering it had taken in the wind. But he was no expert. It would probably be reckless and irresponsible to try to sail it back now, with the winds still so high, right?

  Wiping his hands on the towel he held, he tossed it back into the boat carelessly and smiled. ‘Well, then, the good news is we have all the time we need to talk. The boat took a real beating in the storm. Better to wait until I can contact someone to come out and pick us—and it—up safely, I think. Don’t you?’

  Zoey’s eyes went wide at the suggestion and she stammered her way through an agreement. ‘Uh, right. Yeah. Sure. I guess.’

  ‘So? Do you want to talk in the villa or shall we take a walk on the beach?’ he asked, still smiling easily. He didn’t want to spook her any more than necessary.

  The way she glanced over at the villa then shook her head told him all he needed to know. She wasn’t ready to return to the scene of the crime just yet. Or maybe she was worried about what they’d be tempted to do, alone in there.

  He didn’t blame her. Just the idea of it had his blood heating and images of her naked in his arms filling his brain.

  Ash swallowed. ‘Beach it is, then.’

  * * *

  Yeah, the villa was not a good idea.

  It wasn’t that Zoey didn’t trust Ash there. She didn’t trust herself. Just one kiss from him last night and she’d been clawing his clothes off. Blaming the whisky or the adrenaline or whatever didn’t change the truth, now she’d acknowledged it to herself.

  She wanted him.

  But she couldn’t let herself have him.

  That way lay a broken heart, for certain.

  She’d always been the runner before, but this time she knew she wouldn’t be able to outrun her feelings for Ash if she let herself fall any deeper. He couldn’t give her what she craved—a happy marriage, a happily-ever-after. And she couldn’t ask him for it either.

  He’d given it once, to the person who she’d loved most in the whole world.

  It wasn’t hers to want.

  So she wouldn’t.

  It had been one night. One stupid night. And that was what it would stay.

  Which meant she needed to get them both firmly back on friendship ground again. Quickly.

  It would have been easier back in the real world—although there she’d have had her ex-fiancé and both their families to deal with first. So maybe this was for the best.

  However tempting it was to just drag him back to the villa...

  No. Focus on the friendship.

  They strolled back along the beach she’d explored that morning but this time, less preoccupied with her own thoughts, Zoey noticed more signs of the storm. Palm leaves strewn over the sand, some wood she assumed the builders had been using for the villa had blown out and got stuck in a palm tree. Plants were reduced to sticks, and she could see signs where the waves had crashed far higher than usual, hitting parts of the island usually safe from the sea’s ravages.

  No wonder the boat wasn’t fit to sail.

  ‘So. Are we going to talk?’ Ash asked after they’d been walking in awkward silence for a while.

  Zoey looked away so he wouldn’t see her wince. ‘Absolutely. I’ll go first.’

  ‘Okay.’ Was that amusement she heard in his voice? Well, she was ignoring it. She had a plan here, dammit, and she intended to follow it.

  ‘Right. Well, first off, I think it’s really important we agree that this doesn’t affect our friendship,’ she said, in what she thought was a reasonable tone.

  ‘And you have an idea for how we can do that?’ Ash guessed.

  Zoey nodded. ‘Absolutely. What happened on this island stays on this island. As far as the rest of the world is concerned—hell, as far as we’re concerned once we get off here—it never happened. Okay?’

  He didn’t answer. Zoey walked a few more steps before she realised he wasn’t with her either.

  She turned to face him, her bare feet sinking into the sand. She should have known he’d make this difficult.

  ‘What?’ She placed her hands on her hips and tried not to scowl.

  ‘You’re beautiful when you scowl, you know.’ He was smiling. Why was he smiling?

  ‘I’m not scowling. And did you not hear me on the forgetting all about it part?’

  ‘I heard.’ He stepped closer. ‘In fact, I heard you say—very clearly—that we had to forget this once we get off the island.’

  Zoey swallowed. Hard. ‘What are you saying?’

  Ash’s smile was almost wolfish. ‘We’re still on the island, Zo.’

  She looked around her. Sea. Sand. Sun. No one else for miles and miles of water...

  ‘So we are,’ she said faintly.

  Another step and he was right before her, his hands coming to rest on her hips. ‘Look, I’m not saying you’re wrong. Our timing sucks, and you have a million things to sort out when we get back to the real world. And your friendship is worth more to me than anything else.’

  ‘But?’ There was always a but. She could tell from the heat in his eyes he wasn’t actually agreeing with her.

  Hell, she wasn’t sure even she agreed with herself right now.

  ‘But all I can think of right now is stripping that lovely pink dress from your skin again.’

  A shiver went through her at his words, and Ash chuckled. ‘You thinking about it too?’ he asked.

  Words were beyond her, so she just nodded.

  There was no alcohol this time. No runaway adrenaline still coursing through their veins. No excuses left between them. If they did this again it was on them. Their choice, their want.

  And oh, she wanted.

  Besides, she reasoned in her lust-addled mind, if this was all she could ever have of Ash Carmichael—this strange stolen time away from real world—shouldn’t she make the most of it?

  Later she’d get back to reality. To worrying about where she was going to live and what she was going to do about David, and how to repair her and Ash’s friendship after they fractured it once more.

  But right now...

  Zoey stopped thinking, stretched up on her tiptoes and kissed her best friend.

  * * *

  His heart was still racing. He had sand in places sand should never go, he was covered in sweat, his bare skin was probably burning in the sun and he couldn’t bring himself to care. Because Zoey was draped over him, naked and more relaxed than he’d ever seen her in his life.

  And this time they’d been sober. This time he had no doubts at all about her state of mind or whether this was a good idea.

  It was an excellent idea. They should definitely do it more often.

  Quite how that would work out with Zoey’s ‘we should focus on our friendship’ plan he wasn’t sure, but he figured he had time. He wasn’t going anywhere, after all—and she wasn’t wrong. Their friendship was the most important thing.

  But if, once they’d got back to the real world and Zoey had set things straight with David and moved on properly, they decided to try this again, in an actual bed next time...would that really be such a bad thing?

  He didn’t think so. And he hoped that, over time, Zoey might come to think the same way.

  He just had to be patient.

  Ash ran a hand down Zoey’s naked side and cursed the fact that patience wasn’t one of his many virtues. But he could do it. If it meant he got to have Zoey this way again.

  ‘You okay?’ he asked softly.

  ‘Mmm,’ she responded, rubbing her cheek against his bare chest.

  See? That was a good start, right?

  ‘So, do you still want to talk some
more?’ Personally, he had some much better ideas for how they could spend their time on the island, but if she needed to talk to feel comfortable with things between them then he’d talk.

  But Zoey shook her head, her dark, tangled hair tickling his chin. ‘What else is there to say? The minute we get off this island, this is over and we go back to being just friends. Right?’

  A chill settled over him, despite the sunshine. ‘If that’s what you want.’

  Zoey pushed herself up against his chest, leaning over him and frowning. ‘It’s what needs to happen.’

  ‘So you said.’ Ash shielded his eyes from the sun as he took in her expression. ‘Remind me why that is again?’

  ‘Because...because we’re friends. And that’s all.’

  There was something behind her eyes. Something he couldn’t quite interpret. But, whatever it was, it was holding her back.

  Ash sat up, pulling her with him so she sat curled up against him. ‘What’s the matter, Zoey? Is it David? Or...’ Grace. It must be Grace.

  Of course this was weird—for him as well as her. But he’d lived without his wife for two years now, and he knew that she’d want him to find happiness wherever he could.

  But for Zoey... Grace had been more family to her than her own parents. Closer than a sibling even, for a lonely only child. It stood to reason that she’d feel she was betraying her friend, even now Grace was gone.

  Well, hopefully, that was something she’d come to terms with in time.

  Time. Time passed, whatever he chose to do with it.

  For two years he’d never even imagined himself with another woman, despite the blind dates people tried to arrange, or the obvious set up dinner parties his mother kept throwing whenever he was in London.

  Now...now it was hard to imagine not being with Zoey again, not having her in his life, his bed.

  Maybe it was because she’d always been there. A constant part of his life. Familiar and comfortable and easy. And okay, maybe the last twenty-four hours had seen their relationship take on a different aspect, but in some ways it felt perfectly natural.