Heartless

by Jennifer Sucevic

  You know what’s missing?

  A desk.

  How are we supposed to work without one?

  This is ridiculous.

  As soon as Hunter returns from the shower, I’m going to suggest we head down to the kitchen and work at the table or walk over to the library.

  For the time being, I settle on the mattress and grab my textbook before firing up my laptop. Then I pull up the notes I compiled at the library. I’ve come up with five topics that have a ton of information. If we divvy up the workload, we can avoid meeting up again in person. We can email information back and forth, and then get together right before the due date to integrate our research.

  Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

  Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

  The thought of not having to meet with Hunter again is a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Sure, we’ll be forced to see each other in class three times a week, but that’s manageable. Especially with Jaxon by my side.

  By the time Hunter returns from the bathroom, all the nervous energy that had been humming through my blood has dissipated. My attention stays focused on the computer screen as I delve a little deeper into the topic of vaccinations. Who knew it was so controversial? And there’s a lot of info and research out there which will make the project a piece of cake. Hunter and I could even take opposing views on the issue.

  How ironic would that be?

  If Hunter’s agreeable to the idea, we can have this wrapped up in fifteen minutes.

  Twenty, tops.

  Then we can go about the business of pretending the other person no longer exists. At the end of the day, that’s all either one of us want. The less our worlds come into contact, the better off we’ll be.

  “So, I was thinking—”

  My gaze lifts and my words trail off. I swallow and nearly choke on my own saliva. Other than a thick navy towel slung across his narrow hips, Hunter isn’t wearing a stitch of clothing.

  Look away!

  Instead, my gaze roves over his upper body before greedily sliding over every inch of exposed skin.

  Holy monkey.

  How is it possible that he’s more beautiful than when we were together?

  My attention becomes ensnared by a droplet of water as it slowly migrates down the middle of his chest. It follows the arrow of dark, crinkly hair past his six pack abdominals before being absorbed by the plush material loosely fastened around his hips.

  The temptation to reach out and trace the same path with my fingers is almost too irresistible to ignore. A thick shiver of longing slides through me before settling in my core as I fight the natural inclination of my body. After a few harsh breaths, I force my gaze to his.

  “Where are your clothes?” I croak. It feels like I’m being choked from the inside out.

  “I didn’t bring them into the bathroom with me.” His voice becomes silky soft as he lifts his shoulder in a careless shrug. “What’s the problem? It’s not like you haven’t seen the goods before.”

  My mouth goes bone dry and swallowing becomes impossible.

  Technically speaking, this is true. Except the Hunter I knew in high school was still a boy and looked nothing like this. He wasn’t nearly this defined. The Hunter now standing before me is all man.

  A man I shouldn’t be staring at.

  Or longing for.

  The feelings crashing through my veins are dangerous. I need to leave before the situation unravels any further. Why didn’t I listen to my intuition? I knew coming here was a mistake. But I ignored my gut feeling and allowed myself to be persuaded.

  Before I can shove my computer and notebook in my bag, Hunter tugs the towel from his hips and brings it to his dark head to dry his hair. He stands there as if being naked in front of me is the most natural thing in the world.

  Don’t look!

  Don’t do it!

  This is exactly what he wants!

  My gaze drops to his cock.

  Lord have mercy…

  And just like that, I’m flooded with memories of what it felt like to have Hunter’s hard length buried deep inside my body. Heat and desire flare to life in my core. It’s been such a long time since I’ve felt this kind of need pulse through my blood. It’s enough to drown out my better judgment.

  I bite down savagely on my lower lip to stifle the moan building inside. My mouth dries as I watch his erection grow. When I gasp, Hunter lowers the towel from his face. His burning gaze cuts straight to mine as he continues to dry himself off with unhurried strokes.

  A knowing glint ignites in his eyes.

  This is nothing more than a game to him. And it’s one I have no chance of winning. Not now. Probably not ever. I’m in no position to pit myself against him. Not when my emotions have been stripped completely raw.

  “Like what you see?” When I fail to respond, he steps closer. His voice dips, sounding as if it’s been roughed up by sandpaper. “Tell me the truth, have you missed my cock buried inside you?”

  His husky words send a bolt of desire arrowing straight to the heart of me. The effect is like a firework exploding in my core.

  My tongue darts out to moisten my lips as his thick erection holds me enthralled. I force my mouth open to deny his words, but nothing comes out. Not even the smallest squeak of protest. My mind has become too tangled up in the memories of what it felt like when Hunter made love to me. How insatiable we were for each other. How I thought there would never be another man in my life.

  “Hmmm, sweetheart?” Satisfaction drips from his words.

  The mocking endearment is what snaps me from my stupor. I rip my gaze from him and quickly shove my book, computer, and notebook into my bag with trembling hands. Before I can spring to my feet, Hunter is there, crowding me with his muscular body. He cages me in with thickly corded arms so that escape becomes impossible. Slowly he lowers himself, forcing my back against the mattress until I’m fully stretched out beneath him. My wide eyes stay locked on his as my heart pounds against my chest.

  “Hunter,” I whisper, “move.”

  Sparks of anger flash from his blue depths when he growls, “Answer the damn question.”

  I shake my head. It’s a slight movement. Given the circumstances, it’s all I can muster. “No, I don’t miss it.”

  The lie rolls easily from my tongue. Truthfully, there hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t thought about or been reminded of Hunter and how much I loved him. But I’ll be damned if I admit that to him. He would only turn around and use it as a weapon against me. I refuse to give him any more power. Emotionally, I’m hanging on by a thread.

  The heat of his six-foot three naked frame emanates through my clothing in suffocating waves. His shower fresh scent batters my senses, sending every cell of my body into chaos. I’m powerless to stop it from happening. My attraction for him and the love I once felt transcends the feelings he now rouses in me.

  It’s a bitter pill to swallow.

  His gaze drops to my parted lips as I pant beneath him. “That’s too bad. I sure as hell missed your sweet pussy.”

  I press my lips together to keep from admitting the truth. My lack of response doesn’t stop him from forcing me to the brink.

  “I miss the way you used to throb around me when you’d come, choking the life out of my dick. It was the best damn feeling in the world.” His eyes grow distant before he quickly sobers. “Make no mistake, I’ve fucked a lot of pussy since you took off, but none have ever felt as good as yours.” Bitterness seeps into his voice.

  Just as I moved on with my life, I knew Hunter would do the same. To hear him boast about the girls he’s screwed stabs painfully at my heart. All of the hot licks of arousal that had been burning in my core dissipate as I press the palms of my hands against his chest. How can I think clearly when he’s this close?

  “Please don’t tell me it bothers you that I’ve spent the last three years fucking my way through Claremont,” he mocks. “It shouldn’t. You were the one who dumped
me. Not the other way around. You need to remember that. I don’t owe you a damn thing.”

  I hate the traitorous tears that sting the back of my eyelids. He’s right. I have no reason to be upset that he moved on. Contrary to what Hunter believes, it was never my choice to break off our relationship. My hand was forced. No matter what happens between us, that will always be my secret to keep.

  Once I have my emotions locked down tight where he can’t feed off of them like a vampire, I bypass his question with one of my own. “Why would it bother me?” I force out the rest even though each syllable makes me more nauseous than the last. “You can fuck every girl on campus for all I care.”

  His jaw ticks as he flexes his hips and strokes his hard length against me. Sensation ricochets through my body, waking all of the desires that lay dormant. This time, I’m unable to hold the groan inside.

  Hunter lowers his face until his warm breath can float over my lips. “The bitch of it is that no matter how many girls I screw, it’s never been enough to obliterate you from my memories. At the end of the day, that’s all I want.”

  I turn my face away as his mouth grazes my cheek. I can’t bear for his lips to settle on mine. It doesn’t matter if anger and resentment drive his arousal, I’ll still be lost.

  Hunter chuckles before the heat of his mouth burns a hot trail along my jaw. I squeeze my eyes shut as he presses another caress against the column of my neck before moving lower. His touch leaves me writhing beneath him with a monstrous need that feels as if it could easily consume me. As much as I want him, deep down I know it’s wrong. We’re no longer the same naïve seventeen-year olds we once were. He doesn’t love me. His only goal is to inflict as much pain as possible.

  If I were stronger, if my feelings for him didn’t run so deep, I’d put an end to this madness before it spiraled any further out of control. But I’m incapable of forcing Hunter away. His tongue continues to lave the sensitive skin of my neck before he works his way down my body. He strokes my collarbone before his hands mold against my breasts.

  Gahhhhh.

  It’s been so long since he’s touched me like this.

  A guttural groan rumbles up from his chest as I arch my body into his hands. His thumbs strum my nipples through the thin cotton of my shirt until they’re hard little points that beg for his attention. I moan as he tweaks each stiffened bud between his thumb and forefinger, inflicting enough pain to flood me with pleasure.

  In the past, when we made love, Hunter’s touch was gentle and full of reverence. As if I were made of spun glass. His hands are no longer worshipful.

  “Do you like that?” he rasps, his mouth following the path of his fingers until his lips close around one hardened tip before drawing it into his mouth. Not a stitch of my clothing has been shed, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling the pull of him down to my core. Each tug ripples through my body like a stone that has been thrown into a calm pool of water. Before releasing the little bud, he bites down on it and the arousal smoldering deep in my belly bursts into flame.

  Time away from him has done nothing to dull my desire. It’s exactly as he claimed, no matter how many people I’ve slept with, none have ever come close to eradicating him from my memories. It’s doubtful anyone ever will.

  Hunter shifts his head and draws the other taut peak between his lips as more shockwaves dampen my panties before he releases it. His fingers go to the hem of my shirt and shove it up to my chest. The moment his lips make contact with the bared flesh of my belly, my eyes roll up into my head as pleasure rushes through my veins. He’s barely touched me and I’m going to fall apart at his fingertips.

  He inches lower with every stroke of his lips. The velvety softness of his tongue dips into my navel before he reaches the waistband of my jeans. There’s no way I’m going to be able to stop him if he attempts to remove my clothing. As wrong as it is, Hunter’s touch feels too damn good. Unlike when we were teenagers, unsure of what we were doing, his hands and mouth have acquired serious skills. And he’s turned those well-honed weapons against me. It’s as if he instinctively knows what I crave and what will drive me over the edge.

  Instead of taking off my jeans, he wraps his hands around my legs and pries my thighs apart. His gaze locks on mine as he lowers his mouth to my covered core and bites down, catching my clit and creating a delicious friction as he works his jaw back and forth.

  I arch and flex my hips as a wicked deliriousness falls over me. His thumbs press against my outer lips as his teeth grind against my pulsing clit. My panties are completely soaked. Even through the thick material, there’s no way Hunter doesn’t understand the effect he’s having on me.

  As if to punctuate those thoughts, he buries his nose against my center. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed your pussy?”

  A whimper of frustration escapes as my hands fist the comforter. I want the clothing that stands in his way removed so I can feel the scrape of his teeth against my bare clit and the lash of his tongue against my lower lips.

  “Come on, be honest. Haven’t you missed me?” His voice turns husky. “Don’t you remember how I’d eat you out for hours?”

  Argh!

  How could I possibly forget?

  This is so wrong.

  I shouldn’t crave his touch.

  Especially under these circumstances.

  His words may be wrapped in silk, but the undertone is taunting. The pressure inside me continues to build like a storm gathering momentum until a garbled noise breaks free from my lips.

  “Sorry, that’s not good enough. I want to hear you admit the truth,” he growls before biting down on me. “I want you to beg and plead for what only I can give you.”

  Unable to hold back any longer, the words burst free in a frenzied rush. “Yes! Yes, I want you! Please!”

  “Please what?”

  Satisfaction laces his voice and it kills me that he’s capable of forcing me to my knees so easily. He’s barely touched me and I’m an inarticulate, writhing mess on the bed.

  It’s nothing short of demoralizing.

  “Would you like me to make you come?”

  His teeth clamp down on my clit and I suck in a sharp breath as another burst of arousal explodes inside me. When his touch disappears, I’m left feeling needy and unsatisfied.

  “Yeeees!” I have zero shame.

  “Tell me what you want,” he says.

  I choke on the idea of begging him for pleasure.

  “Please,” I whisper, disgusted with myself for giving in, “I want to come. I want you to make me come.”

  “I know you do.” He bites down on my clit again and I moan as sensation explodes in me. “No one will ever make you feel the way I do. You need to remember that.”

  The delicious cocktail of his commanding voice coupled with the firm pressure of his teeth makes me arch off the mattress as my body tightens in response. I keen out my orgasm as he continues to apply the perfect amount of force to my throbbing pussy.

  It’s only when Hunter releases my clit and buries his nose against me, inhaling a lungful of breath, do I come crashing back to earth with a painful thump.

  “You can hate me all you want,” he whispers harshly against the juncture between my thighs, “but you still crave what only I can give you.”

  The smugness in his voice turns the pleasure in my body to bitterness.

  During the time we’ve been broken up, no one has ever come close to making me feel the way he did. That knowledge is enough to bring tears of frustration to my eyes. I’ve done my best to move on, but it’s not enough.

  It will never be enough.

  Still naked, Hunter straightens to his full height. His cock is impossibly long and thick. A purplish hue colors it as blood rushes to the engorged head.

  My breath catches when he wraps his fingers around the girth before giving it a few slow pumps. Drops of moisture bead at the slit and make the bulbous head shiny. His eyes lower to the V between my legs as he continues to s
troke his dick. I’m mesmerized by the sight of his heavy balls drawing tightly against his body.

  Even though he’s no longer caging me in, I remain frozen in place. Unable to move. Or breathe. What am I still doing here? I could easily roll from the bed, grab my bag, and escape, but that’s the last thing on my mind.

  The way Hunter caresses his thick cock is the most erotic thing I’ve ever witnessed. His knuckles turn bone white as he tightens his grip before picking up speed.

  My core clenches as a fresh wave of arousal washes over me.

  How can something like that be so sexy?

  The growl that emerges from his lips sounds as if it’s been dredged from the bottom of the ocean. My core tingles with need as my gaze flies to his. His expression becomes one of intense focus as his jaw locks and he grits his teeth. My attention returns to his erection in time to witness his ejaculation. Thick pearly ropes jet from the tip of his cock and land on the bedspread between my legs as he groans out his release. His movements become languid as his dick softens in his hand.

  “There,” he mutters harshly, “now we’re even.”

  As if slowly waking from a dream, I blink out of the trance that has fallen over me.

  Oh my God, did that really happen?

  I stare at the gleaming white come painted across the dark comforter as if it can’t possibly be real.

  I need to get out of here.

  Heat scorches my cheeks as I’m spurred into action. Rolling to the side, I snatch my bag before scrambling off the bed. I can’t look at Hunter. How can I meet his gaze knowing what I’ll find simmering in his brilliant blue depths?

  Satisfaction that he was able to get to me with little to no resistance on my part.

  The only bright spot is that we didn’t actually have sex. Considering what did happen, it’s not much, but it’s all I have to cling to at the moment.

  “Skye, wait—”

  Not bothering to respond, I grab the handle of the door and fly over the threshold before pounding down the staircase and out the front door. Once I’ve left the house behind, I inhale a deep breath and try to settle the chaos unfolding inside me.