Made of Darkness

by Erica M Kim

  Suddenly, Lio’s face floods my mind, and I feel my body warming up. I imagine his arms wrapped around me and lose myself in his touch. The smell of burning bacon brings me back to reality. Silly girl, stop dreaming. My bacon is ruined, and as punishment for my foolishness, I don’t cook more to replace it. French toast without bacon. That’s a first.

  By the time I arrive at the shop, Ramon looks frantic. He’s washing a dog while manning the phone. The pitiful howls of the labradoodle in the tub fill the shop.

  “How many are we scheduled for this morning?” I ask him as soon as he hangs up the phone.

  “We have eight this morning, ma’am.”

  “What?! Why did we schedule so many in the morning?” Shock and irritation seep into my voice.

  “I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I accidentally booked them all this morning. I hoped for a short day.” Ramon seems to cower as he offers up an apologetic smile.

  “It’s okay,” I respond more gently. “Let’s just get the morning over with. I’ll start grooming the labradoodle once you finish washing him.”

  By noon, I’m covered in an assortment of dog fur—eight types to be exact—and wet to the bone. Ramon is taking his lunch break, and I decide to take a moment of reprieve myself and walk to my office. I untie the wet apron and drape it against the chair. I’m about to slump down into my chair when I hear the front door open.

  “Hello?” I know that voice. Just the single word sounds like honey, smooth and rich. My heart starts to pound in response. The small mirror in my office shows me I look like hell. I quickly retie my ponytail, wipe off the smudged mascara from my eyelids, and try to dust off as much dog fur as I can before walking around to the front.

  “Hi.” I beam a wide smile to Lio—wider than I was even intending. “Sorry, I’m filthy and smell like wet dog,” I say, keeping my distance.

  “As a busy dog groomer should.” His blue eyes reflect the smile on his lips. Today he’s wearing a red-and-blue flannel shirt with dark jeans and light-brown suede loafers. He looks like he walked straight off the cover of a magazine.

  “I went home yesterday and realized that I don’t even have your phone number. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He looks intently in my eyes and I can’t handle the intensity. I look down at my hands. I’m definitely blushing.

  “Are you free today? I want to take you out.” I’m momentarily stunned. This Greek god wants to take me out again, and he is wasting no time to do it.

  “I actually have plans later tonight,” I respond. I planned to do some reconnaissance for my assignment. “But I should be wrapping up in a couple of hours.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. There goes my evening workout regimen for today again.

  “Okay, excellent. I’ll meet you out in front of the shop at around three?”

  “Yes, I should be done by then.”

  “I’ll see you soon, Lunis.” My heart flutters as I hear him say my name. Lio’s dimples grace me once more before he turns around to walk out of the shop.

  Before I know it, Ramon and I have washed and groomed all eleven dogs. It’s nearly two thirty when the last owners pick up their dogs for the day, and Ramon leaves for the day. I’m grateful that he crammed all the appointments in early, though I am thoroughly exhausted. I only have half an hour to make myself presentable.

  After a quick shower, I realize that I didn’t bring a change of clothes. Luckily, I keep an extra outfit in the office, but it’s not exactly what I would have worn on a date. Not that I have many outfits that I could wear on a date. I pull out the dark jeans and fitted gray tank top out of the locker in the bathroom and quickly put it on.

  After rushing to finish my makeup, I don’t even have time to dry my hair, which means that it will air dry in loose waves instead of the straight style I usually wear. I don’t like it, but I don’t have a choice. It’s already three o’clock.

  Lio is waiting outside, wearing black Ray Bans to shield his eyes from the bright sun. He looks like a dream. I motion him to come in.

  “Can you just give me a couple more minutes so I can lock up?”

  “Of course.”

  Running to the bathroom again, I put on the only shoes I have—my black combat boots—pull on my black motorcycle jacket, and quickly grab my purse. With a quick turn of a key, I lock up the office and take a quick assessment of the salon. It’s not as tidy as I’d like it to be, but Ramon did a decent job sweeping everything up. I usually do one final clean before I leave the shop every night, but I’m not able to do it tonight. Along with my workout. I feel jarred, being thrown off my usual routine, but I’m pretty sure it will be worth it to spend time with Lio.

  Back at the front of the shop, Lio is fiddling with his phone.

  “Ready?”

  “Yes, where are we going? I’m afraid I may not be dressed for anywhere fancy. It’s the only outfit I have.” Lio scans my outfit from head to toe, assessing my worthiness. I feel myself warming up from the neck upwards.

  “You look amazing.”

  “Thanks,” I murmur, looking down at the floor. I am really not good at taking compliments.

  “Shall we then?” he says as he extends his hand out to me as if expecting me to take it. I look at his hand, and it feels like I’m staring at Pandora’s box. If I take it, I might open my world to unknown dangers. Despite this, my hand drifts out toward his.

  As soon as my hand touches his, the air vibrates with electricity. A scorching fire emanates from his fingers and travels up my wrists, forearms, then arms. I feel giddy and terrified like I’ve never felt before. It’s as if the world has stopped spinning, and the only thing that I could feel is Lio’s warm clasp, tingling through the rest of my body.

  I finally find the courage to look at his face and see a radiant smile and the most striking, brightest blue eyes staring at me in wonder. I’m not sure if he’s staring at me because I have some freakish look on my face or if he feels anything remotely as intensely as I do. I smile at him as my knees threaten to give out.

  Outside, it’s as if the world is rejoicing—the sun is shining gloriously, and it feels like a perfect seventy-two degrees. I blink a few times as my eyes adjust to the brightness.

  “Do you feel like you can eat?”

  “Sure, I actually haven’t had lunch yet.”

  “You must be famished. Come on; I’m parked over here.” He leads me to the next street down. I still can’t get over how electrifying it is simply to hold his hand. Every nerve in my body tingles as it’s magnetically drawn to Lio. Is this happening because of my lack of experience or because of my lack of human interaction . . . or both? The thought of kissing him makes my knees buckle.

  “Have you been to Beach House? It’s up in the Pacific Palisades.”

  “No.” Of course I haven’t since I never go out.

  “They have really excellent fish tacos and a very beautiful view of the ocean. In fact, the beach is walking distance.”

  “That sounds great.” Quite frankly, I can’t even feel my stomach right now. All I can focus on is putting one foot in front of the other. In fact, I feel like I’m about to hurl all the acid in my stomach. Is this normal?

  Lio takes out his keys from his pocket, and the lights of a gray Audi R8 beam on in response. I drop his hand out of sheer shock.

  “This is your car?” If there is one car I love more than my car, it’s the R8. I can’t believe he drives my dream car.

  “Is there a problem? We can go pick up my SUV if you don’t feel comfortable.”

  “No, no! I LOVE this car. I am just so jealous.” Damn, he must be rich to afford this.

  “In that case, I can’t wait to give you a ride,” he says with a wide grin. He then opens the passenger door for me, and I slide across the smooth, supple caramel-colored leather. The sports seat hugs me comfortably, and I look around in the car. It’s lined with carbon-fiber, instead of aluminum like my car, and the knobs and dashboard look much more sophisticated. And when Lio
pushed a button to turn the engine on, the car roars to life and settles at a guttural purr.

  “Shit. I might have to hijack this beauty.”

  “Oh, really?” He says with a playful smirk. “First, you’ll have to take me down.” Lio’s eyes intensely pin me before he lets out a chuckle. Electricity zaps me down to the core of my body. And I don’t even know how to respond, so I just smile like a fool.

  Lio pulls the car out of the parking spot and shifts the gears, and the engine roars as the R8 lurches forward. Lio looks at me to make sure I’m okay, and I grin. I like going fast.

  As we drive up the Pacific Coast Highway, I am distraught trying to split my attention between admiring the stunning ocean to our left, the beauty of the R8, and the gorgeous man next to me all at once. Lio masterfully weaves in and out of traffic, moving the steering wheel as if it were an extension of his arm.

  “Penny for your thoughts?” he interrupts my trance.

  “I was just thinking that it’s such a beautiful day,” I lie.

  “Isn’t it? Perfect for the beach. Hold on, doll.” And I do as he takes a sharp turn into a parking lot. He just called me doll. A smile is plastered on my face.

  11

  Beach House is truly a wonderful eatery, and we decide to dine al fresco on the patio facing the beach. I try to look somewhat composed as I stuff my face with beer-battered fish tacos, chips, and spicy salsa. My nerves die down after a couple sips of Mexican beer, and I regain my appetite.

  “Good, huh?” Lio asks before taking a sip out of the Corona bottle.

  “Mm-hmm,” I manage to say in between a bite. I swallow the last of my three tacos and finally feel as if I have a little bit of life back in me. The beer is also chipping away at the tiredness from my lack of sleep.

  “So, did your aunt leave town?” I ask. Lio looks momentarily surprised.

  “I forgot I told you she was visiting. She’s still here actually and will be leaving tomorrow. She’s visiting some friends right now, but I’ll have a late dinner with her tonight.”

  “Is she from Ohio too?”

  “She lives in Dallas.”

  “Do your parents still live in Ohio?”

  “My parents actually passed away.” Lio’s face looks distant.

  “Oh. I’m so sorry.” Even though I know how he feels, I still feel awkward.

  “It’s okay. It happened a long time ago,” Lio says. He looks away at the ocean as if wistfully remembering his parents. The ocean breeze plays with Lio’s chestnut brown hair, and my fingers twitch with the desire to cop a feel. “My mother died when I was just six. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and it took her very quickly. My father passed when I was seventeen. He had a heart attack a month before my high school graduation.”

  “I’m so sorry, Lio,” I say sincerely, holding his gaze.

  “It was a tough time in my life. My aunt raised my sister and me from then on. She’s the only reason I even went to college.” I’m shocked he feels so comfortable telling me openly about his past. Perhaps this is what normal people are like.

  “How old was your sister?”

  “She was twelve when my father passed away. Alex doesn’t even remember our mom.” I realize that I have no idea how old Lio even is. I can’t think of an eloquent way to ask this now, so I shelve it for later.

  “Where does your sister live now?”

  “She’s in San Francisco. She’s studying to become a doctor.” That must make her about my age, which means Lio must be in his late twenties. “My aunt is one tough, brilliant woman. I hope you’ll get to meet her one day.” He looks at me seriously. “When her brother died, she took over M.M.S. and ran the company even though she hardly knew anything about the shipping industry. She not only managed the company but also grew the business exponentially while I went to college. But she never gave me a dime, damn that woman.” Despite the statement, Lio has a proud look as he describes his aunt.

  “Aunt Lilia forced me to enter contests to win scholarships and pay my way through college. I hated her for it at the time, but now I understand why. She wanted me to learn the value of money, which I did the hard way. There were times when I didn’t even have enough money to eat lunch.” He pauses as he stares into the glimmering ocean. “Even when I graduated from college a year early, Aunt Lilia made me start from the bottom of the company and work my way up.”

  I couldn’t help but sympathize as I stare into Lio’s serious face. Despite the life he could have been endowed with, Lio had to fight his way to success, and he’s earned it. It had been a long, lonely ride for him, and I can’t help but relate to him and also admire him for all of his accomplishments.

  “Enough about me. What about your family? Tell me about you.” I look into his eyes, which search mine for answers. I take a sip of my beer to buy some time and courage for what I was about to tell him.

  “Well, I was born and raised in California. My parents were Classics professors at UCLA, specializing in Greek mythology, and I was told I was a honeymoon baby. I’m an only child.” I look off in the distance before continuing, fingers laced tightly together as I prep to unfold my heavily burdened past.

  “When I was eighteen, they both died in a car crash . . .” My voice begins to trail. It happened almost six years ago, but it still feels like a vault inside of me that cracks open every time I think about the accident. The inky darkness of my past and the monster that I am starts leaking out, and I instantly blanch in fear. There is no way I can tell him the rest, about my instability, my mutability, the freak that comes out of me every full moon. I pray to the gods that he doesn’t ask more. He doesn’t.

  “I’m so sorry, Lunis. To lose both at once—it must have been devastating.” I’m sure he can’t help but wonder how I survived since my parents’ death, but he doesn’t push me for more. Instead, his eyes glisten with sincere sympathy, and he takes my hand in both of his.

  As soon as Lio holds my hand, the electric shock returns, and it tingles all the way down from my hands, up my arms, into my stomach. I inhale sharply. His hands are warm, like the Californian sun after a rainy winter, and when I look into his deep blue eyes, I feel hope. Like everything is going to be okay now that I’ve met him.

  The sun is already starting to lower itself into the horizon by the time we finish. I lose again in the battle for the bill but mark my words; I’m going to pay next time, even if I have to twist Lio’s arm.

  We walk out of Beach House, onto the sandy path that leads directly onto the beach. The sand feels cool already, and the tide seems like it’s coming in closer. The sky is strikingly colorful as pink, purple, and orange hues swirl together in a technicolor display. It’s breathtakingly beautiful.

  The salty ocean wind snaps my hair around my face, and I’m sure it looks crazy. Lio and I stroll to the shore, and both of us take a deep breath at the same time. We look at each other, and I giggle like a schoolgirl.

  “It’s the simple things, Lunis.”

  “It is.”

  “Are you interested in this?” He’s holding out the keys to his precious R8.

  “Are you sure? You barely know me.”

  “Yes, I’m sure. You’re a perfectly responsible, law-abiding adult.”

  That’s not true, but I don’t protest.

  “Well, in that case,” I say as I snatch the keys from his hand. I start heading back toward the parking lot.

  “Already ending this moment for a joy ride?”

  “It’s the simple things, Lio.” I toss his words back at him.

  “Touché.”

  Once we reach the car, Lio opens the driver’s side door for me and helps me adjust the settings. Fortunately, it’s similar to my own Audi, so I don’t need much of his help. After all of the adjustments are made, I press the brake down and push the button to turn on the engine. It roars to life, and the biggest grin is glued to my face. I face Lio, and he seems captivated.

  “Should I be nervous?” Lio asks as I prep to pull the car i
nto reverse.

  “I’m a perfectly responsible, law-abiding adult. What’s there to be nervous about?” I turn and face him with an innocent look. Lio looks at me with a smirk already in place. He reaches out and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. Self-conscious at the intimacy of the gesture, I turn back to face the road behind me to hide my embarrassment.

  “You’re blushing,” Lio calls me out.

  “You’re making me blush,” I say with a smile and push down the gas pedal to pitch the car backward into reverse. Once I’m out of the parking spot, I put the car into sports mode and speed onto the PCH. This car is like my car on crack.

  Despite the traffic, it’s a short drive. I expertly guide the R8 back to Santa Monica, and by the time we reach my car, I’m flushed with excitement. It’s been the most thrilling ride of my life.

  “Now I really might hijack this car,” I say as I smile to Lio. He looks at me with genuine joy.

  “You’ll have to kill me first, doll.” I freeze immediately. I look away to hide my shame. You have no idea. All the mirth disappears from my demeanor.

  “I gotta go, Lio.” He looks at me with his eyebrows drawn together and blinks at my sudden change of mood.

  “Okay, I know you have plans.”

  “Thank you for today. It was amazing.” We lock eyes, and the cabin of the R8 suddenly feels as if it’s too small for the both of us. The distance between us feels at the same time both too far and far too close as the air literally vibrates with the magnetism between us. There’s nothing I want more than to kiss those full lips. Instead, I open the door and exit the car. Lio is instantaneously next to me to help me out and closes the door behind me.

  “Your car is nearby?”

  “Yeah, it’s that black S5 over there,” I say as I point down the street. Everything in me wants to stay with this man, and at the same time, everything is telling me to leave. I know I cannot have a long-term relationship. It’s just not possible in this life I live.