Broken Promises (A Timeless Trilogy Book 1)

by Quell T Fox

  Sure, you’re probably giving me the same self-help you-can’t-love-someone-until-you-love-yourself-crap, but this isn’t about that. I do love myself. I like who I am as a person, I’m happy with me. I just want…more.

  Knowing that Andrew will have someone when I leave takes a weight off my shoulders. A weight that I have been carrying around for quite some time. This one is going to be the hardest. Too many times that I’ve left without a care, but not this time. This time, it’s going to hurt. It’s going to be soon; I can feel it. I won’t be here much longer. The feeling of not belonging is growing in the pit of my stomach. I’ve never waited around long enough to see what happens if I let it grow. It’s too much to take. I’ve been trying to convince myself well before we moved here, that this will work, because it should work. This is what life is supposed to be, isn’t it? Maybe, but not for me.

  I tell myself that I accept and love who I am, and I do. Mostly. There is this little part of me that tries to make myself fit in with society, the part that is conditioned to think that way. That little part of me is the voice in the back of my head telling me to stay with Andrew because this is what is socially acceptable. But no, I can’t. I refuse to be unhappy because that’s what someone else wants. It’s my life, and I’ll do with it what I want. I love myself and I need to start acting like it. That little voice needs to shut the hell up.

  I don’t know what will come of the guy in the park but no matter what the truth is, it won’t change who I am. What he said to me, really got me thinking about things. I’ve realized what I need to do, what I will always need to do. I will always need to move around; I will always need something new and more exciting then what was previously offered. I’m not meant to be in one place for a long time. Not meant for the monotony of society. Nothing wrong with that, right? Of course not. We’re all different and it’s okay to be different. I just hope that Andrew understands that.

  I look down at the phone in my hand. Silently wishing that it would ring. Hoping that the man from the park would be on the other end asking me to meet him. I’d do it. I’d leave right now just to go see what he has to say. Just to get another taste of how my body reacts to him.

  What am I even doing?

  I let out a shaky breath. Now is as good a time as any to check out that jacuzzi tub. I could use something relaxing right about now. I stand up from the couch but before I can make my way to the stairs, I hear Abe yelling.

  “You girl! Come here!”

  I stop and roll my eyes. I turn around and walk straight to his room. “What’s up Abe?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. “What can I do for ya?”

  “Water.” He says quickly through a few nasty wet coughs, causing his face to turn beet red.

  “Coming right up.” I turn on my heel and make my way to the kitchen. Andrew is gone, his empty bowl washed and placed on the drying rack. He must have gone to bed. Taking a plastic cup from the pantry, I fill it with water and bring it to Abe. His snoring fills the room as I enter. Okay, then. Placing the water on his bed side table, I turn towards the stairs.

  Once upstairs, I go straight to the bedroom, not able to get my clothes off quick enough. I see Andrew lying on the bed, naked. The room is dark, the large windows allowing a blanket of moonlight to cover the bed, and Andrew. He looks amazing right now. His left arm up by his head, his right hand resting on his stomach. His breathing is slow. His messy hair is perfectly messy. I’m stopped in the doorway, admiring the view. He is nice to look at. This is a good image to have in my head to use in the bath, in case I start to feel frisky. Walking on my toes towards the bathroom, careful not to make noise and wake him, I throw my clothes into the laundry basket that’s placed between the closet and bathroom doors.

  “Come to bed.” I look over my shoulder at Andrew. He pats the bed, motioning for me to go to him. I guess the bath can wait. I owe him this.

  Turning around, I slip into bed. His lips are immediately on mine, his hand is in my hair. He rolls over and pushes my legs apart.

  The physical stuff is easy. It’s the mental stuff that’s hard. It’s always been hard for me. I’m going to miss this.

  ***

  I’m sitting on the back patio in oversized sweatpants and sweatshirt. Something I picked up at a thrift store in Washington, for days like this. The weather is perfect today, cold but not too much that it’s uncomfortable. Ideal for Halloween.

  A beer in one hand, my phone in the other and a bag of chips between my legs. This is the life. Lazing around with nothing to do but surf the web and fill my stomach with unhealthy snacks. I open my messages app more times than I care to admit, to check if I received a text without getting the pop-up, but there’s nothing.

  Andrew is out to lunch with Abe and the other nurse, Celeste. She’ll be the one filling in on Josh’s days off. Josh can be a bit chatty, but I’ll take him any day over this woman. She reeks of stale cigarettes, her skin looks as if it was actually made from an old leather boot, and her voice sounds like there might be a demon trapped inside her esophagus. It’s very unnerving. Hence why I am here, and they are there. Oh, and don’t get me started on her hair. She must have missed the memo on leaving the feathered-half-a-can-of-hairspray style in the 80’s.

  Maybe it’s just in her nature, but she seems really flirty. With everyone, myself included. She’s winked at me more times than I can count. She does seem to take an interest in Abe though, she doesn’t look much younger than him. I bet he was a looker back in his day.

  This chill in the air is different to me, but something I could get used to. I’ve never been one for the heat, but after being in California for so long, you get used to the warmth and the sun. I don’t miss it; this is much better. The greyish sky, brisk air and constant breeze comforts me in a way that I can’t explain.

  The backyard is beautiful, surrounded by trees, the only opening is the front of the house, where the driveway meets the road. The trees in the front aren’t really trees, more like bushes. If you’re facing the house, it sits off to the left, not far from where the woods start. On the other side, there is so much land. Wide open space that makes me wish I had a dog to let loose, to watch him run around chasing nothing. The trees are mostly bare at this point, everything is turning darker and dying away for the winter. I think about what it will look like during the summer. Green everywhere, beautifully colored flowers too. As I said before, if there was a place for me to settle down, it would be a place like this. The best thing is the lack of human contact. I haven’t seen a neighbor since we’ve been here, and I’ve only caught two cars drive down the main road.

  I lean back in the brown gravity chair that I thoughtfully chose to sit in, placing my beer on the ground, I close my eyes. The brisk air, the quiet sound of the breeze blowing through the trees is enough to lull me to sleep.

  “I trust you to find me, Jacob. It’s the only way this will work. They have to kill me and then you have to find me. If they kill us both, we will never be together.”

  “No, Asha! That is not how this is going to work. Let them take me.”

  “You know it won’t work like that. Once they take you, I’ll have no one. There will be no one to protect me. Do you think they will let me live? It’s a trick! It’s all a trick. Please, Jacob. I trust you with my life. I’m asking you to do the same. Just please, promise me that you will find me.”

  “I promise.”

  A car door closes and I’m awake. Rubbing my eyes to erase the evidence of sleep, I lean forward and stretch. I know I had another one of those dreams, but now I can’t seem to remember what it was about. That is so frustrating. The more I have, the more I think they mean something. Before moving here, dreams weren’t something that ever crossed my mind. Now, I find myself trying to piece them together. Like it’s some kind of mystery that I’m supposed to solve, or the universe trying to tell me something important.

  Putting it aside, as usual, because I can’t stress out over things that don’t make any sense, I get up and go in
side the house.

  “Hey babe, I brought you some food. Chinese.” Again? He holds the bag up proudly, a big smile plastered on his face. He places the brown bag on the counter. Celeste helps Abe over to the couch and turns on the channel that plays all those old shows.

  “You always know how to satisfy my stomach.”

  “And other things, I hope."

  Not often enough.

  I hurry over to him, ignoring the comment. I tear open the bag, not caring that we just had Chinese yesterday. Andrew kisses my forehead and goes upstairs, probably to change into something more comfortable. I take the Styrofoam container out of the bag and place it on the counter. I turn around to get a plate and spoon. I dump at least half of the food from the container onto my plate. I eye the chopsticks in the bag but decide against it. I know how to use them, it’s just too much work. I’m not into working for my food.

  I’m halfway done with my food when Andrew returns, wearing plaid pajama pants and a red t-shirt. Heading over to the couch, he sits by Abe and they start to chat. By chat, I mean I hear Andrew trying to talk to Abe and getting grunts in response. Was he always this grumpy or does this just happen with old age? I shrug and finish working on my Chinese food. This is good. I’ve noticed that food is different everywhere you go. Chinese and pizza, mostly. I don’t care how different it is, it’s all still so delicious. Food holds the key to my heart. If I could be paid to fly around the world to try diverse types of cuisine, I would be the happiest girl on the planet.

  The rest of the afternoon consists of me organizing my recipe’s in the basement, Abe cat napping on the couch between shows and Andrew acting like he’s having fun spending time with his grumbling grandpa. Celeste has been cleaning up Abe’s room, organizing his stuff and putting the rest of his clothes away. When she comes down to the basement to throw the clothes in the wash, I tell her she can leave early if she’d like. I overheard her on the phone earlier, talking to one of her grandkids. She was telling them that she had to work and wasn’t sure if she’d make it there before they went out to trick-or-treat.

  The doorbell rings, it must be our first trick-or-treater. The sun isn’t down yet, but who says it has to be? It’s Halloween all day. I open the door to a boy who looks to be about seven, dressed as one of the superheroes. The one with the giant hammer. I always liked that one.

  After he leaves to go fight crime, or whatever it is that he does, we don’t get many more kids. I had a feeling it wouldn’t be busy, for that reason I made sure to give the kids that did show up a large handful of candy. The look on their faces was priceless, they couldn’t believe one person would give them that many pieces of candy. Their parents did not seem thrilled. I wonder what the other houses are handing out. The last one that comes to the door is the cutest cat I have ever seen. She’s screaming at the top of her lungs, but still adorable. Looks about one, blonde hair in pigtails, with two grey striped cat ear clips perfectly placed on top of her head. She has on a matching cat onesie, tail and all. Just because I don’t want kids of my own, doesn’t mean I don’t think they are cute, because they are. From afar.

  Totally okay with the lack of kids that show up. Not that I should be laying on the couch, bowl of candy on my belly, feeding myself one at a time, but you only live once. Flipping through the channels, I choose a movie about a possessed doll. Dolls are creepy, I can’t deny that.

  Andrew helped Abe into bed tonight, he was coughing a lot while he was out here. Celeste checked his vitals and listened to his chest before she left, she said everything was normal. I’m not sure if old people normally sleep this much, or if it’s because he’s not feeling well. I’m no better at caring for old people than I am at caring for kids. It’s all the same to me. I don’t care how old you are, I’m not wiping your ass.

  Plopping himself onto the couch by my feet, Andrew reaches over and grabs a hand full of candy. I let out a whining sound, because what the hell? You can’t just take a girl’s candy like that.

  “Mine, don’t touch.” Narrowing my eyes at him and pulling the bowl closer to my face.

  His face softens and he pouts his lip. “Can’t even share with the love of your life?”

  Oh, if he only knew.

  “Fine, but only because you look like you’re about to beg.”

  He rolls his eyes, settling back into the couch. At some point he lost his shirt, and I do like when he isn’t wearing a shirt. I ogle for a moment before returning my eyes to the tv. The faint muscle lines that run down his chest and stomach are hard to ignore. His skin is flawless, no marks, not even hair. When we first got together, I thought he waxed or something, turns out he just doesn’t grow hair on his body, outside of the normal areas. The hair on his face isn’t very thick either. It didn’t bother me, since I never had a thing for body hair. When he finishes the candy, he places his hand on my thigh, softly and slowly running his fingers up and down. My mind drifts back to the day in the park, realizing how much I wish I knew his name.

  I’m not sure how long after, but I feel myself being lifted off the couch. One arm around my back and the other under my knees. I wrap my arms around Andrews neck. I feel him kiss my temple as he starts to climb the stairs, with me in his arms. I nuzzle my head into his bare chest, taking in his wonderful scent of vanilla and cinnamon that weirdly reminds me of French toast.

  CHAPTER 10

  “Asha! Get up, please! Asha!”

  Andrew’s anxiety filled voice startles me awake. I hear a fear in his voice that I have never heard before. I Jump out of bad, dash down the hallway towards his voice. It’s a good thing I fell asleep in clothes or Abe would be getting a free show.

  “Andrew? Where are you?” I reach the bottom landing, looking around frantically, my eyes stop when I see him kneeling beside Abe’s bed. My stomach drops, my hand moves to cover my mouth, goosebumps covering my skin. Oh fuck. I make my way towards him cautiously, fearing the absolute worst. Andrew’s leaning on his elbows against the bed, holding Abe’s hand between his own, his forehead rested on the bed. His body slightly shaking with the breaths he is struggling to take in. Closing my eyes, not ready to see what I know I’m about to see. Swallowing hard, I open them and move my eyes to wear Abe is laying very still in his bed.

  He’s pale.

  He’s not breathing.

  He’s dead.

  Closing the distance between us, I rest my hand on Andrew’s shoulder.

  “I’ll make the call.” Choking the words out.

  Turning on my heel, I go to the phone in the kitchen. Shit, I cannot believe this is happening. I knew he wasn’t feeling well, but dead? Picking up the phone, I dial 911. It rings quite a few times before someone answers, damn good thing this isn’t an actual emergency. I explain the situation and the raspy voiced lady on the other end informs me that someone will be here shortly.

  After hanging up the phone, I realize that I have another call to make. Josh.

  It’s well before his shift starts, actually I’m not even sure what time it is. I glance at the clock, 6:07am. Kind of early to be calling someone, but I don’t think he’ll mind.

  A sleep filled voice answers the phone. “Hello?”

  “Hi Josh, it’s Asha.” I say calmly, trying not to pass along the anxiety that I’m having. “I’m sorry to call so early, but,” I let out a breath, “Abe passed away some time during the night. I wanted to let you know.”

  I hear sheets rustling and he clears his throat. “I’m sorry, what? Abe? Yeah, okay. Uhm, I’ll head over there now.”

  “See you soon.” I hang the phone up again.

  I run up the stairs to put something more decent on, like leggings and a t-shirt, oh and a bra. I check my phone…again. Nothing. I’m not sure why I think that he’s going to call or text me, I didn’t give him my number. I guess I rationalize by telling myself that he knew my name so he should know more. Constantly checking my phone is keeping me on edge, but I can’t seem to stop. What if he knows where I live, and he comes by when An
drew is home? How would that play out? What would I tell Andrew?

  After changing, I brush my teeth. Glancing to my left at the tub that is still unused. I’m going to set a reminder in my phone, I don’t know why it’s so hard to take a damn bath. I’m back downstairs in a few short minutes. Andrew hasn’t moved. I don’t want to smother him and I’m not good with situations like this anyway. Walking to the kitchen, I decide to make coffee instead. Coffee always makes people feel better, or is that tea? Coffee makes me feel better, so I’ll go with that.

  I’m pouring myself a cup when I hear the sirens. It seems like they’ve taken forever, according to the clock it’s only been fifteen minutes. The guy is dead. What’s the rush? I finish making my coffee and take a sip. Mmm, liquid deliciousness. I set the mug on the counter and head to the front door. The ambulance pulls up as soon as I open it, a police car pulling in right behind them. The cop exits his car first, standing tall and walking stiffly he makes his way down the walking path, stopping at the bottom steps.

  He looks about my height, maybe in his fifties. He has a thick brown mustache and thinning hair to match. “Good morning, ma’am. We received a call?”

  “Yes, my boyfriend’s grandfather. I’ll show you where he is.”

  He nods, taking the stairs slowly. He stops to wipe his boots on the mat before entering the house. I look back over my shoulder. “You can leave the door open.” He gives me a tight smile and a slight nod. I lead him to Abe’s room. Andrew is no longer at the side of the bed. He’s standing off to the side running his hand through his hair. He looks up at me, his bloodshot eyes filled with sadness. His normally bright as the ocean blue eyes are now dull, reminding me of the light grey eyes that Abe has…had. He frowns and looks away. I turn around to meet the paramedics as they are entering the house. I lead them to the same spot I’ve just brought the officer. Looking at Andrew again, he meets my eyes and I smile a half smile, trying to assure him that everything will be okay. I walk out and go find my coffee. It’s still warm, thankfully. I finish it in a matter of seconds and poor myself a second cup, wishing it was something stronger.