Landon: FBI Special Agent: FBI Brotherhood Book #3

by Ann, Bry

  I smile sadly. “Let yourself go. Just hit at me. I’ll be fine.”

  “But—”

  “Don’t hit my face. Don’t hit my dick. I’ll be fine.”

  She checks my eyes to make sure I'm serious and then flies at me. I mean at lightning speed. A speed I’ve never seen her move.

  “You made me think you loved me!”

  Smack! Smack! Smack!

  “You— you took advantage of my loneliness. You stole me!”

  Smack! Smack!

  “You ra-raped me…” She chokes and stumbles, but I catch her and place her hands back on my chest.

  Her lip wobbles before the hitting continues.

  “You let your friends have me. You took people’s money and let them defile me in ways I didn’t even know existed before I met you. Even with my genius-level IQ. IQ. Egh,” she gags. “I can never hear that word again without thinking of you! And your stupid eyes. Your stupid nickname. Your stupid, goddamn, fucking gun! Ahhhh!”

  Smack! Smack! Smack!

  The door swings open, but I hurriedly wave my hand for them to go. Essie’s too caught up to notice.

  “You killed my best friend! Your own fucking sister! I once kissed you on purpose! Do you know how that makes me feel?! Do you know what that’s done to me? Do you know? You-you didn’t feed Pamela enough or give her medicine and she died.”

  Smack! Smack! Smack!

  “You took a sixteen year old! You made me into someone I hate and I’ll never, ever forgive you.”

  Her hand flies out, but instead of a punch this time, she reaches around and collapses into my chest. I grab her and hoist her up, carrying us both back to the chair, where I rock her back and forth.

  “Feel a little better?” I whisper in her ear.

  “I'm falling in love with you,” she screams into the fabric covering my chest. “And I hate you for it. That’s my last confession.”

  Before I can even… process that, I hear light snoring sounds and she’s out. Out like a light. So I do what any decent man would. I burrow her in tightly to me and hold her, I keep her safe while she sleeps.

  And think.

  Because I love her, too.

  And fuck, this just surpassed complicated.

  Part V

  Love

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Essie

  “You love me?”

  I scowl at him. I just woke up. We’re gonna have this talk now?!

  Well, I'm scowling, but inside, my heart is fluttering, pounding mercilessly.

  He stayed.

  I told him I'm falling for him and he stayed.

  “I said I'm falling in love with you. Big difference.”

  Even though I'm practically growling at him, he smiles. Because against all odds, all the statistics I’ve gone over in my head, he sees past every wall, every cold barrier I’ve thrown up since Jenny was murdered.

  “I apologize. You did say that. Though you’ll see,” he murmurs and leans in close so his breath is hot on my ear, making my skin pebble with goosebumps, “that I'm a bit more direct than that, sweetheart.”

  Is he…? No. That’s impossible. I didn’t tell him for any other reason than, one, to give him a reason to leave me and, two, to unburden myself of a truth that was killing me as slowly as my traumas are.

  “I love you, Essie Tammy Taylor. Even if you take back your feelings. Even if you’re not ready. I still love you. And I'm always here for you. You get me, angel?”

  “You love me?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Does that scare you?”

  I sit up so I'm face to face with him.

  “I said it first. Why would that scare me?”

  “You just said you’re falling in love with me, remember? I'm all the way there. Scary stuff.”

  “I hate you, Landon Parker,” I whisper as, heart pounding, I kiss him. He immediately quells my nerves by sliding his fingers through my hair and kissing me back. I whimper against him, so his hand slides to hold my hip in a firm, strong grip.

  Safe.

  Safe.

  Safe.

  … and there are no sirens. Not one.

  Shaking my head to push away my favorite memory, I go back to pacing Landon’s generous living room. That’s another thing that happened that day.

  I fought for what I wanted.

  After Landon admitted his feelings and we, um, kissed, he nervously (very nervously) told me he’d be willing to let me stay with him if that’s where I felt the most comfortable. I thought I was gonna faint. I knew they were planning on moving me to outpatient. It was time. But the idea of going home with my parents to that same house, same town, same everything, put me in such a panic I blacked out. In private. Thankfully, no one was there.

  I can’t even believe staying with Landon is an option. I can’t believe that doesn’t freak me out. He is a male, after all. But he’s not, really. Not like all the rest of them, anyway. I know deep in my heart, just like I know 546 x 324 = 176,904, he’d never hurt me. He’d die before he’d do that.

  So I thanked him. Something I find myself doing a lot with him.

  All he asked in return is that I have to be the one to ask. He wants to be sure it’s what I want, and I'm no dumbass, he’s scared to bring it up in fear of people thinking he’s some kind of real bastard and taking advantage of me. But, come on, anyone who meets Landon doesn’t have to be a genius to figure out he could get women in his bed without manipulating a scrawny, crazy person. Not to mention, he’s one of the few men I’ve met who actually has a moral compass.

  I did ask, and here I am.

  6 p.m., one hour after Edna drove me home from outpatient, while Landon is at Simon Rogers’ trial. I asked to go, but my entire treatment team said no. I was furious, especially when Landon, wincing, agreed with them.

  His son was my captor! Hell, he was my captor for a short while.

  But the decision was made. So I'm here, pacing. If he’s ruled innocent, I don’t know what I’ll do. Try to kill him?

  Maybe. Really, maybe.

  Ding-dong!

  My entire body locks up. Who is at the door right now? If they were dangerous, they wouldn’t ring the doorbell, right? Right?!

  My heart’s pounding…

  Knock! Knock! Knock!

  Click. “Essie, it’s just…”

  They opened the door. They’re inside the house. No. No. I frantically search for a weapon.

  Chirp, chirp, chirp… “Shit!” I hear when I'm thrust into a world that’s now familiar to me.

  “Essie!”

  But I'm gone.

  * * *

  “Shit,” I curse, rubbing my head. I’ve been doing so well.

  “Essie, it’s just me. Kyle.”

  My head snaps up to find Kyle’s hulking frame as far away from me as he can get. It almost makes me laugh. Almost.

  “I'm sorry,” I mutter. “I-I just heard the door.”

  “I'm sorry. Landon tried to call you.”

  “I don’t answer his phone.”

  Kyle nods. “We’ll have to get you a cell phone.”

  “I'm sure I have one somewhere. If not, my parents will be happy to get me one, I'm sure. Why are you here?”

  I notice Kyle hasn’t moved from his spot across the room. I'm grateful for that. I'm walking on thin ice. I hope they don’t put me back in inpatient for this.

  “There’s someone here to see you. A friend,” he adds, studying me. “You may remember her, but there’s a chance you won’t.”

  “Mmm.”

  I have to be polite. I have to be polite. This is Landon’s home. As I'm repeating this over and over again in my head, a young woman rounds the corner. She has bushy brown hair and wears glasses in my favorite color. Black.

  “Hi, Essie, my name is Jade. You probably don’t remember me. I mean… psh. I was barely in your room, but um, Landon said I could stop by with my sister.”

  It’s then that I notice the young girl hiding in the corner of the room. She’s
not looking at me.

  “Before you feel weird, this isn’t about you. My sister and I got into a bit of trouble and, um, well, Landon is helping me out for the night.”

  My senses heighten. I do remember this woman and I like her. I’ve ruined so many women in the past, maybe if I’m nice to this one…

  What would Landon do right now?

  “Who’s helping you after you leave here?”

  “Oh, don’t worry about us,” Jade whispers.

  “Who’s helping you after you leave here?” I put more force behind my words this time.

  Jade fidgets and glances at her sister, who is still hiding, facing the wall.

  “Um, Landon hasn’t said yet, but someone. He promised he’d make sure we’re okay.”

  She offers me a half-hearted smile. “You can trust him,” I whisper. “He-he’s kept all his promises to me.”

  “I know. I do. I sought him out,” she murmurs, glancing down. “Anyway,” she perks up a bit, “do you have food up in this joint? Davie will start getting angry if she’s not fed. And you have the hulk over in the corner to think about, too.”

  I smile a bit as I glance over at Landon’s best friend. His lip doesn’t even twitch. He’s so serious, which is strange, since Landon is the complete opposite.

  “Landon has food. What does Davie like? I-I'm sure I can figure out how to make her something.”

  I glance over at the little girl again. She’s now picking the plaster off the wall.

  “Davie!” Jade calls. A little girl with the most violet eyes I’ve ever seen turns. “Don’t do that, okay?”

  The girl doesn’t respond, but she’s clearly mad. She does stop, though, instead choosing to scowl at the wall.

  With that, Jade turns back to me.

  “Davie has autism. Well, she’s on the spectrum.”

  “Oh, I didn’t notice. Her eyes are stunning. I’ve never seen eyes like hers before.”

  Just like that, approval shines in Jade’s eyes.

  “She really does! I love Davie’s eyes. I get so jealous sometimes.”

  Davie looks over at that. She says nothing, but she looks displeased with her sister.

  “Oh, and you don’t have to make us anything. She can have a treat day. Does he have any popcorn up in this joint?”

  “Yeah. Treats would be nice. Landon has so much good junk food, but he wants me to eat protein and stuff to put on weight. I want to as well, but I mean, there’s candy here.”

  “Candy?” Davie’s unique voice perks up.

  Jade’s lips twist up in the smallest, happiest smile I’ve ever seen.

  “You want sugar, huh?”

  Davie nods.

  “Can you behave if we give you a piece of candy?”

  So this is a thing, whoops.

  “I want it!” Davie screeches.

  Jade’s calm as a cucumber. “And how do we get things we want?”

  Davie backs down, but doesn’t use words.

  “Does he have fun size?” she whispers.

  “That’s all he has. He has to be somewhat fit to do his job.”

  “Let’s bust it out.”

  So we all eat candy and popcorn, even amidst the chaos that is Davie with sugar in her system. And hey, Kyle even has a piece or two.

  And I laugh. With someone other than Landon. Growth.

  * * *

  “Well, well, well, it is a hot mess in here.”

  I shoot off the couch where I crashed about thirty minutes after Jade took Davie to the guest room. Davie can’t sleep alone in strange places, so she slept with her. I don’t know where Kyle is, but it’s just Landon and me here. Well, Landon, me, and this giant mess.

  Shit.

  Fear races through my veins, making them cold and lifeless. Until…

  “I wish I was here for the party. Did you have fun?”

  He plops down next to me, pulling me into his side. My head automatically goes to his shoulder with a yawn. The fear’s gone as fast as it came.

  “Surprisingly, yes.”

  He chuckles. “Always the pessimist.” I shrug. “It’s okay. I think I have enough optimism for both of us.”

  “You definitely do,” I sigh.

  “Go to sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.”

  “Simon,” I murmur as he picks me up in his arms to carry me to my bedroom. Yeah, Landon has a three bedroom house. Crazy. He had it when Evie lived here, for him, Evie, and a guest room. After Evie left, he decided to keep the house.

  “In prison. We’ll talk more in the morning.”

  “Forever?”

  “Forever, angel.”

  He kisses my head, then I'm lowered into a world of softness.

  “Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight.”

  He shuts the door behind him when he leaves.

  I sleep peacefully this night.

  Epilogue

  Landon

  Two Weeks Later

  The morning after I found Essie with candy wrappers all over the floor in a peaceful sleep, I was able to tell her that Brad’s team, along with the help of many others, arrested over fifty men and saved over a hundred women of all ages. The trafficking ring that nearly ruined her life was no more.

  She shut down.

  She cried.

  Then she asked me to take her to therapy.

  And she dealt with it.

  Yesterday was Jenny’s funeral. Essie watched on a video feed we set up for her. Mentally, she felt, with therapy, she could be there, but she wasn’t willing to be at Jenny’s funeral in person when she wasn’t at Pamela's.

  So I listened as a famous news reporter doted on Jenny’s old high school and college tapes back when she did the school news.

  Jenny had no family there, so we made one. We invited everyone we know. Along with that, she was well loved at school, so many of her school friends were there as well. It was a beautiful service.

  Essie had an episode that she hasn’t quite come out of yet, but they no longer scare me. Her life will never be 100% normal, but I know she’ll come back to me when she’s ready. Essie’s entire team is so supportive. They are alerted whenever she has an episode and work to help her out of it, and, if necessary, identify the triggers that led her there.

  Right now, Essie’s mom is over, drinking iced tea, and we’re chatting. Her dad is a dick and currently working, not that he’d be here anyway, but whatever. I actually like her mom. A lot. She’s grown on me. After I saw her smack Richard across the face, I realized maybe she’d realized the error of her ways.

  Dana leans back in her seat.

  “I was a shitty mom to Essie growing up,” she sighs heavily. “I was so preoccupied with her mind. I mean, Jesus. I'm an average person who never accomplished much. Then I have this incredible daughter who could solve math problems by six that I’d never even heard of. She’d give an hour of her time doing dumb competitions I knew she hated, and she’d make all this money. I was selfish and Essie hated me for it.”

  “Hate is a strong word.”

  I see the resemblance between the two women when Dana gives me a flat look. I almost laugh, but refrain.

  “Strongly disliked.”

  “What did Essie want to do?”

  Dana’s lips curl up in sly little smile.

  “She wanted to be a makeup artist.”

  What?! I spit out my water all over the couch.

  “Shit! No way.”

  She laughs. “Yes, it was her dream. Probably would be still if…”

  She trails off and turns from me for a moment.

  “Well, I wonder if she still has an interest.”

  As if on cue, footsteps stomp down the stairs. She’s back… I can’t help the way my heart skips. Being without her sucks.

  “Hey, speak of the devil…”

  She rubs a hand over her eyes. “Mom?”

  She blinks several more times, so I go over and wrap an arm around her back. I bring her over to reorient her to the space.

>   “Your mom and I were just talking about you as a child.”

  Essie coughs and goes wide eyed. It’s kind of funny, in a tragic way. Her life has been so abnormal and horrific, yet it’s no less embarrassing for her mother to be telling baby stories. I like it.

  “You were not.” She looks at her mom. “No way you would.”

  Dana trails off. “Yes, Essie, I told him what a shit mom I was.”

  Instead of pleasing Essie, it seems to make her even more mortified. I guess ‘cause she knows her mom is not fucking around now.

  “What did you tell him? Mom, what the hell did you tell him?!”

  I am literally cracking up. Her mom is even laughing.

  “You have no embarrassing stories, Essie,” she laughs. “What are you so afraid of?”

  “Whatever it is, I can buy you some eyeliner and make it better.” I smile.

  “Ugh!” She covers her face with her hands. “That. That’s what I was afraid of.”

  I laugh. “No need to be embarrassed. It’s pretty great. I was just surprised.”

  Essie glares hard at me. “I was a teenager.”

  I pull her even closer and kiss her cheek. “I'm not judging. Relax. This is all in good fun. Do you still have an interest in makeup?”

  Essie fidgets and, with it, I realize the reason she was so embarrassed is because she still loves it. Despite everything, despite her intellect and her trauma, she still has an interest in makeup and she’s not sure how she feels about that.

  I glance at her and study her eyes.

  “How about I make some dinner for everyone? I have some rice and chicken ready. Does that work?”

  Essie slouches on the couch and looks at me like I am the best freakin’ thing in life. I wink at her and head to the kitchen. I'm throwing the rice on the stove when I hear footsteps behind me.

  “Thanks for saving me back there,” Essie whispers.

  “Of course, babe.”

  I feel her come up behind me. A second later, her hands hesitantly wrap around my waist from behind. She sighs heavily, so I feel her warm breath on my shoulder.