Lost & Found

by Raquel De Leon

  Her lips twitched at their attempts at anonymity. Derek’s baseball cap was pulled low over his fringe of blonde hair, and Karen was wearing a simple pair of dark-tinted sunglasses.

  Piper’s step faltered. The anticipation she thought she’d feel was absent. The only thing she felt was fear.

  Until Selma reached back to place a soft hand on her wrist and Mark moved to grab her by the opposite hand.

  It was Selma who spoke, her eyes understanding as her thumb rubbed the fine bone in Piper’s wrist. “Don't worry, I promise you, it will be fine. There is no pressure here, Piper, even though it might feel differently to you.”

  Piper focused on Selma's smile and took a breath. “Okay.”

  *****

  Selma could almost feel the nervous energy vibrating through Piper. She wanted to do more to ease the younger woman’s mind, but there was little more she could do that she hadn’t already tried.

  As they approached Karen and Derek, she kept an encouraging hand low on Piper’s arm. Between her and Mark, they had a fair chance of helping Piper get through the day.

  Derek was trying to keep it casual even though Selma was aware just how every difficult the situation was. He was seated on a blanket under the shade of a tree, Ben cross-legged in front of him and a small army of plastic dinosaurs between them both. His attention was mostly on Ben, but Selma was aware of the way his blue eyes would regularly land on Piper.

  Karen couldn’t hide her nerves, not the same way her husband could. She was standing in place, hands fidgeting restlessly with each other and her head turned resolutely toward Piper’s approach.

  A breeze, cool and soothing, lightly tickled at the short strands of her pixie cut. Selma watched as Karen took a shaking breath. They were only a few strides away.

  Selma was glad she’d prepared them with photographs before this meet; Karen had preemptively gotten some of her crying done. Just as Selma was about to make the introductions, Ben suddenly twisted on the blanket and scrambled over toward her. “Mommy!”

  She was internally relieved. Ben had easily broken the tension. She scooped him up into her arms and gave him a noisy kiss, acknowledging the lumbering form of Derek now standing alongside Karen with a small nod. She opted for the easiest introductions first.

  “Mark, Piper, this is my son Ben. Ben, this is Mark,” she made a point of touching Mark on the shoulder. “And this is Piper,” her hand brushed against Piper’s arm.

  Ben smiled brightly at both newcomers before burying his face against her shoulder.

  Mark said a soft “hello” and Piper just smiled.

  Selma carefully set Ben down and turned to stand between the two sets of people. “Karen, Derek,” she nodded her head at them each in turn. “This is Mark.” Mark reached over to shake their hands, which they easily accepted. Selma took a steadying breath, the solid warmth of Ben clinging to her leg giving her the strength she needed to finish. “And, of course, this is Piper.” Though worried about Karen and Derek, her eyes settled on Piper.

  Piper took a cautious step forward and Selma wondered what she thought of her parents. The years had at least been physically kind to the Berings, even if it hadn’t emotionally. Piper nibbled at her lip and slowly extended a hand. “Hi,” she said in a low, tight voice.

  “Piper.” Karen nearly breathed the name. She cleared her throat. “It's so wonderful to finally see you.” Her hand trembled as she accepted the handshake.

  Derek accepted his turn with his usual firm grip, delight almost pouring off of him in waves. The smile on his face seemed like it might become permanent.

  As the handshake ended and the moment lingered, it finally seemed like something shifted and changed in Piper. The tension in her shoulders faded and she stood a little taller.

  Selma’s breath caught when an unfamiliar sheen appeared in her eyes. When Piper blindly reached both hands out to her sides, Selma automatically grasped one as Mark gripped the other.

  Piper cleared her throat. “So, what's for lunch?”

  *****

  A little over an hour into the visit, Selma had to step away to take a call. Though Piper had managed to function so far, the sight of Selma leaving made her tense back up.

  “She’s a good woman,” Karen said, voice full of affection.

  Piper turned her attention from the path Selma had just disappeared down, wishing Karen was sitting anywhere but next to her. She’d chosen a spot further out from the blanket on the grass, the blades a familiar tickle against her palms.

  Derek was curled up on the blanket with the boys, listening intently as Mark read aloud to Ben from a book he’d brought along. He’d been trying hard not to crowd her. She appreciated that.

  “Yeah,” she finally forced out from her too-dry mouth.

  There was an awkward pause. Piper could almost hear Karen scrambling for something to say. “She’s helped a lot of families, you know. Not just ours. She really loves children.” Another awkward pause. “I like to think she gets that from me.”

  Piper shrugged. She knew Karen was trying, but maybe it felt like… she was trying a little too hard.

  It wasn’t fair to think that way. Piper couldn’t imagine being in her shoes. Still, it didn’t change the way she felt. She counted silently in her head to gather the energy she’d need to try back a little. It had been easier with the additional adult buffer of Selma.

  “That doesn’t surprise me. She’s really sweet, and really good with Mark. She’s done a great job with Ben, too. He’s so smart.” Her fingers plucked at a few blades of grass, tugging but not destroying. “She’s made all of this so much easier.”

  “Yeah.”

  The emotion in the single word made Piper look up. She couldn’t quite decipher everything in Karen then. There was pride and gratitude and, the longer she stared at Piper, love.

  The last made Piper too uncomfortable to say. She wasn’t there yet. It was too much. “I’ll be right back,” she said in a voice loud enough for Derek to also hear. She just needed a few minutes, that’s all.

  Derek gave her an easy smile, and then she was striding off in the general direction Selma had gone off in.

  After rounding a small bend she could just see Selma off in the distance, still walking and talking. Piper relaxed and meandered onto another path. She’d just needed to check. On what exactly, she wasn’t sure.

  Loose stones and dirt crunched under her shoes as she walked. She studied the path before her, soaking in the sense of her surroundings. There were families and friends everywhere in the park, most having a good time. She allowed herself a long moment to think of nothing, just focusing on her breathing and the steady crunch, crunch of her steps.

  It was a little scary how easy it was to get along with Karen and Derek. She didn’t like Mark’s presumption that things would be easier just because she happened to share the same genes as the Berings. It spit in the face of what she’d built with Dottie, Shelly, and Mark. They were real family.

  But, Piper realized with a sinking feeling as she studied the laces of her shoes, it didn’t negate the fact that Karen and Derek could be that too. She wasn’t sure if she wanted that. They could let her down, as nice as they seemed. She didn’t know them the way she knew the Tates.

  Even in denim and cotton, Piper could see they lived in different worlds. They were picture perfect, not unlike she’d thought Selma to be. What would they think of her past, if they got to know it? There was a lot to contend with, some of which she still couldn’t handle when things went sideways. She didn’t like having that kind of uncertainty in her life.

  She sighed and turned on her heel. Regardless of her thoughts, she shouldn’t wander too far away. Distracted, she didn’t pay attention when a second set of footsteps joined her own.

  Someone cleared their throat beside her. She glanced over to finally notice Selma smiling at her, eyes alight in the afternoon sun.

  Selma swayed closer and playfully bumped shoulders. “Hey, you doing okay?” />
  Piper licked her lips, her thoughts scattered with Selma’s bare arm brushing against her own. “Has anyone ever told you that you're kinda touchy-feely?” The words come out a flatter than she intended.

  Selma's smile dimmed a little and she immediately stepped back.”Sorry.”

  The words had felt wrong as soon as they’d escaped Piper’s mouth. She mentally kicked herself; Selma was just trying to comfort her. She even missed the friendly contact but she'd feel a little stupid if she tried to take back the comment now. She rubbed her forehead in frustration.

  Almost in reflex, Selma reached out to brush her shoulder but stopped herself just shy of making contact. “Oh no, you're right. I didn't even realize how much I did it.” Selma looked away, her blush showing through her tanned skin as she protectively crossed her arms.

  Piper growled a little at herself and made a point of moving closer to Selma. “It's actually nice, I'm just, ugh.” She threw up her hands in exasperation. “I’m all over the place. I can't help thinking that this has been too easy, that something is going to happen to ruin it at any time.”

  Brown eyes regarded her carefully. “Given your history, I can understand the sentiment.” Selma bit her lip. “However, I must ask; has worrying ever changed the outcome of anything?”

  Piper opened her mouth and then closed it with a frown. “Not really, no.”

  Selma hummed. “Well then, wouldn't it be feasible to just enjoy the good moments while you are able to do so?”

  Piper’s eyes narrowed. “You sound like Spock.”

  Selma halted in her tracks and raised a hand, giving the Vulcan salute. “Live long and prosper,” came the solemn intonation.

  A smile began to stubbornly tug at Piper’s lips. “You're a bigger nerd than Mark is.”

  “Say what you like, but you understood the reference. Ergo, you are also a nerd,” Selma retorted with a satisfied smirk.

  Piper pouted, garnering a poke from Selma, who jutted her chin back toward a particular tree. They’d walked all the way back to the meeting spot. “Let's go rejoin them before Mark discovers all their secrets.”

  They shared a smile, their arms brushing gently as they leisurely rejoined the others.

  *****

  As the sun set and they ran out of snacks and stomachs began growling again, it was Karen that mentioned not wanting the day to end. An uncomfortable silence ensued—even though they’d all been having a good time. At least, Selma thought so. Piper had relaxed while enjoying the boys’ antics, and had even had a quiet talk with Derek.

  It was clear she was still a little uncomfortable with Karen, however.

  Knowing Karen the way she did, Selma knew an overnight invitation back to the Bering estate was on the tip of the older woman’s tongue. She knew Piper wouldn’t be ready for that, and a rejection would only hurt Karen. Selma cleared her throat and smiled. “Why don’t we pick up some takeout and head back to my house?”

  Karen opened her mouth to answer, then glanced over to a visibly relieved Piper. Her face relaxed into a smile. “It’s close and far more appealing than sitting in a crowded restaurant. Sounds good to me.”

  “Me too,” Mark declared with bright eyes.

  Piper snorted and rolled her eyes. “Well, I guess that’s decided, then.”

  “Excellent,” Selma said with a grin, “there’s a great little Italian place on the way. Does that sound good?”

  “Do they have pizza?” Mark inquired with a small frown.

  Derek scoffed and pushed the bill of his hat up from his forehead. He arched his eyebrows at Mark. “Do they have pizza? Only the best in the entire city. When Selma first moved there I gained almost ten pounds.”

  “And so did I,” Selma added dryly.

  Piper choked back a laugh and immediately tried to hide a smile behind her hand.

  Selma gave her a warning look but didn’t comment. “Why don’t we pack up and get going, then? Ben needs a bath before bed.”

  The group murmured their agreement. Selma found herself walking alongside Piper, keeping an eye on Ben as he wandered ahead with Mark.

  “I think he likes getting to be the older one for a change,” Piper said as she subtly gestured to Mark.

  Selma bobbed her head in agreement. “He does seem to be enjoying it.”

  They took several more steps before Piper spoke again. “Thanks for doing this, Selma. It was awkward and weird but… kinda nice too. They’re not so bad.”

  Internally debating, Selma nibbled at the inside of her cheek. She gently bumped her shoulder into Piper’s and was rewarded with a smile. Warmth pooled in her chest. “You have the directions pulled up on your phone?”

  “You can’t turn the mom thing off, can you?” Piper said with twitching lips.

  “No,” Selma said emphatically. “And I wouldn’t want to, anyway.”

  Piper sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, looking at Selma without turning her head. “As long as you realize you’re not my mother, we’re good.”

  “Please! I’m not that much older than you.” Selma huffed indignantly and crossed her arms.

  “Oh,” Piper said in a low voice that made Selma’s step falter, “I know.”

  Selma’s face felt inexplicably warm. She ducked her head and tucked some hair behind her ear. “Well, I-I’ll see you at the house then.” Her keys seemed to jingle uncommonly loud as she dug them out from her pocket. She increased her pace a step or two to catch up to Ben. “Come on, handsome. I know you love your new friend but you’re not going anywhere without a car seat.”

  As she led Ben to her car, she felt oddly aware of Piper getting into the Camry on the other side of the lot. She shook herself and opened the rear passenger door.

  *****

  All through dinner, Piper worried that maybe she’d pushed things too far with Selma. She hadn’t meant to do it, but it had been a while since she’d so much as had a crush on another woman. Things had just been too busy with work, and she’d been too focused on helping Mark adjust to life with the Tates the last year.

  They settled in the living room after dinner, a semi-formal room with surprisingly comfortable cherrywood furniture and an entertainment center big enough to keep anyone distracted for hours. Selma didn’t linger with everyone else, instead disappearing with a marinara-spattered Ben for bathtime.

  Piper watched her go but didn’t comment, surprising Karen by choosing the seat next to her on the upholstered sofa instead of taking one of the overstuffed armchairs. Derek grinned at her and claimed an armchair, kicking his feet up onto its matching ottoman.

  Mark quickly curled up on the other armchair, his eyes drooping almost immediately.

  With her mind too focused on what Selma might have been thinking, Piper forgot to be nervous around the Berings. She engaged in casual small talk as she waited for Selma to reappear.

  “You were in track?” Karen asked with wide eyes.

  Piper tilted her head to look at Karen. “Yeah. Why?”

  “Karen did track. Went all the way to state three years in a row.” Derek grinned and adjusted his legs. “I was a football jock.”

  “Huh.” Piper sent Karen a curious glance. “What did you run?”

  “I was a sprinter, mostly focused on the 400.” Karen gave an abashed smile. “Not that you could tell now.”

  Derek tsked at her. “You look amazing, honey.”

  Karen laughed and made a shooing motion with her hands before turning back to Piper. “What about you?”

  “Shelly and I did long distance together.” Piper couldn’t explain exactly why she was happy to have been focused in a different area than Karen, but she was.

  “Oh, I didn’t have the patience for that when I was a teenager.” Karen made a face and crossed her legs at the ankle.

  Piper raised her eyebrows at the familiar motion. “Hm.” She blinked and returned her attention to Karen’s face. “Neither did I, at first. It was kind of the point. It was a good thing for the both of us at th
e time.”

  “Shelly... that’s your foster sister, right? You seem close.” Karen’s eyes studied her intently. “I’m really glad you have that.”

  And Piper realized… maybe she was being too hard on Karen. She closed her eyes and took in a slow breath. “Yeah, me too. She’s my best friend, and the best sister anyone could ask for.”

  Footsteps sounded in the hallway, a soft tap-tap of rubber soles on wood. Piper wanted to open her eyes but they seemed too heavy to do so.

  “They look exhausted,” came Selma’s quiet voice from the doorway.