by Caryn Walker
It’s funny the stuff that gets you after all these years, Jenny. I’m crying for you as I read these files – even though I’m probably trying to distance myself by focusing on the facts of it all – but I’m crying for all those dogs too, the ones who ended up God knows where, thrown out into the streets, given to horrible people. I believe that you can tell a lot about someone by how they treat animals. Animals and children, that’s how you know. And we knew, didn’t we, Jenny? We knew.
At the end of January 1974, there was an attempt made to summarise our family history up until that point. There is, as always, so much hidden in what is not said, and the authorities even have to leave out some of what they have previously included, as there is so much to contend with. In two pages of faded type, they go over it all again, and also – again – include many of the pieces of the story they have been told and which, I suppose, they have to accept:
Mr and Mrs Yeo married on 14.1.70. Mr Yeo adopted the two eldest children about September 1970. Mrs Yeo states that if any distinction has been made by him between the four children, Jennifer has been the favourite. Mrs Yeo has said that although both Ian and Jennifer are not Mr Yeo’s children, it has been Jennifer who has caused difficulty, almost from the moment of conception. Throughout her pregnancy, Mrs Yeo did not want the child. However, when she gave birth to Jennifer, she felt that she wanted to keep her despite the hardships the decision might involve. From her birth, Jennifer was apparently a difficult and uncooperative baby, who cried persistently, despite Mrs Yeo’s efforts to comfort her. Mrs Yeo was convinced this behaviour occurred because Jennifer sensed her mother’s initial rejection.
On 5.8.71 Mr Yeo was seen in the Duty Room of the Social Services Department where he explained why he had taken Jennifer away from Mrs Yeo and gone to live with his mother. He alleged that his wife had ill-treated Jennifer and had always taken it out on her, because she reminded her of the father. She had allegedly beaten her several times, the last time being the previous weekend. The child was examined the same day and the doctor reported bruises on both cheeks, buttocks, and the lumbar region and also both legs.
On 8.8.71, Mrs Yeo requested that all three children should be taken into care as she was going into hospital for an operation and Mr Yeo could not care for them. Mr Yeo was, by the time, back at home. On 16.8.71, the children were received into care.
On 16.8.71, Mr Yeo was visited and staff expressed concern about the child returning to the care of her mother. Mr Yeo admitted his wife had always been against the child but he was on the defensive and not prepared to discuss her attitudes in any detail. It was clear that he could not be relied upon to support his first story and so it seemed probable that the only possible action would be with the parents’ consent.
Mr Yeo agreed to discuss with his wife the possibility of Jennifer remaining in care for a further period.
On 20.8.71, due to the hospitalisation of the foster-mother, Jennifer and Karen were transferred to separate foster-parents.
On 3.9.71, all three were discharged from the care of the Local Authority.
On 9.8.72, a referral was made, stating that the baby was in hospital, possibly with a fractured skull.
10.8.72, Jennifer was found to have bruising on her forehead, arms, across her shoulder blades and extending down to the lumbar-sacral region of her back. The social worker tried to gain the cooperation of Mrs Yeo, hoping to receive Jennifer into care on a voluntary basis. Eventually it was necessary to take a Place of Safety Order. At the end of the 28-day order, Jennifer remained in care under Section 1.
24.12.72 Jennifer returned home and the family was supervised by a social worker.
3.8.73 At the request of Mrs Yeo, and because the situation seemed a great deal more settled, supervision discontinued.
10.9.73 An anonymous caller informed the Department that Jennifer had a badly bruised face. A social worker visited the house and saw Jennifer. Mrs Yeo’s explanation, that she was always falling and banging herself, was accepted.
17.9.73 A Place of Safety Order was taken on Jennifer, who had bad bruising of the face and body. Jennifer was placed with foster-parents.
18.9.73 Following an examination, Jennifer was admitted to hospital.
24.9.73 Jennifer was discharged from hospital to foster-parents.
18.10.73 Jennifer was transferred to long-term foster-parents.
3.12.73 Due to a breakdown in the fostering arrangements, Jennifer was replaced with short-term foster-parents.
January 1974 The Police interviewed Mr and Mrs Yeo about the incident.
21.1.74 Mrs Yeo saw Jennifer and Jennifer asked if she could go live with her mother.
While that report ends, another has as its recommendation at the same time: ‘I am of the opinion that Jennifer has been ‘scapegoated’ in her family; her relationship with her parent/parents was lacking the emotional harmony essential for her overall development and to prevent her from being maladjusted. I would, therefore, recommend that Jennifer be committed to the Care of the Local Authority on a Care Order.’
All of this. All of these opportunities missed. Jenny passed from pillar to post, all four of us in and out of care, foster-families changing their minds, social workers either falling for lies or not being able to make the change that was needed – so many chances to change the ending of the story.
CHAPTER 3
A BROKEN, TWISTED WORLD
1974–1977
Jenny was visiting us quite regularly at this time. The social workers were keeping an eye on the whole family situation, but they were also hoping that she could be returned to us. From what I read, they were wishing for a fairytale ending as much as I was. Also, from what I have discovered reading round this issue in later years, the idea of ‘restoration’, or making sure families were united again even if a child or children had been taken into care, was a very popular one. So, Jenny would sometimes be at home, or sometimes not – but, when she was back with us, my parents didn’t even try to hide some of the appalling ways they treated her.
Jenny was still in bed at 11:15am when the health visitor arrived. Jenny was restrained in the bed with her outspread hands and arms tied down. The child had had nothing to eat since midday the previous day. Her body was marked at that stage. Jenny was ravenously hungry. (The HV took her to nursery and informed the Social Services Department). (11 February 1974)
While a new potential foster-parent was found – a Mrs Powell, who was ‘very willing … it is hoped that Jennifer will be moved there towards the end of the month’ – ‘Concern was expressed that Mrs Yeo was verbalising her feelings that Karen is beginning to behave as Jennifer behaved. It was therefore decided that a careful watch should be kept on the situation.’ This was in March 1974, while Mum was seeing Jenny every month. Dad was usually fishing and I really don’t think he had much of a relationship with her at all. When Jenny did come back, she was treated so cruelly. I knew that she would turn up at the door with her little bag, packed with the few things she owned, and Mum would say, ‘Piss off – no one wants you here,’ and slam the door in her face. I don’t know what happened. I think she just sat and cried there until Mum changed her mind, but I do know she did that quite a few times – when Jenny got older, Mum often didn’t let her in, telling her that her siblings hated her and she was to leave, and she always called her ‘the pig’. It was Jenny herself who told me this when we were older and we used to reflect back on our lives, how we were separated so often but also going through so much that was similar.
Thankfully, the placement with Mrs Powell went ahead.
I was amazed at the difference in her. She has put on quite a lot of weight and seemed very relaxed. During her first two days with Mrs Powell, Jenny was very suspicious and nervous. Since then, she has become gradually more relaxed. She is obviously very much loved by the whole family. The GP thinks Jenny might be deaf in one ear.
(2 April 1974)
Jenny was indeed deaf in one ear, and it would be noted in la
ter reports that this was from the physical abuse she had suffered when she was little more than a baby. She had been hit so hard that it affected her hearing for ever.
Mum was always shouting and always swearing. I can hardly think of a time she spoke to me without including some profanities – and my memories were starting to come through by this stage. For a child of three, four years of age to have that sort of nastiness being spewed at them constantly is awful, but it also becomes their normality. ‘She was shouting at Karen when I arrived and was very offhand with her. Karen was very tense and eyed her mother continuously. Mrs Yeo threatened her several times. Mrs Yeo was verbally very aggressive. (3 April 1974)’ The notes state that bruises were noticed on me the next day, so I wonder if there were follow-up visits when things looked particularly bad. They weren’t looking good for Jenny either, as the foster-family was starting to report problems.
J is causing tension between Mrs Powell and her daughter. She is with Mrs Powell all day and resents the rest of the family when they come home in the evening. Mrs Powell is very protective towards Jenny and takes her side against her daughter. Jenny realises this and uses it. Mrs Powell requests Jenny’s removal.
(9 May 1974)
The permanent return of Jenny to the family home (such as it was) seemed to be out of the question, perhaps because the social workers could see that Mum was doing the same to me, and telling them that I was turning out like my big sister, so a request was made to transfer her to a ‘residential establishment’. The passing of Jenny from pillar to post had begun in earnest – and it would go on for the rest of her life. A heartbreaking letter from a consultant psychiatrist in June 1974 says that she was sent to him for ‘disturbed emotions’ and in that letter is a tear-jerking summary of everything that has already gone wrong in her life.
I examined the above-named child at this clinic this afternoon. Jennifer was four on 27th February. She belongs to that small unhappy band of children labelled by the sensational press ‘the battered babies’. Twice in the first three years of her life she has had to be rescued from the vicious assaults of her mother. She was first taken into care briefly three years ago but returned to the care of her parents after a matter of months. She came into care again last September. Since then there have been three or four failed fosterings.
Jennifer is a bright, chatty, disinhibited little girl. So long as she is getting all of her own way she can be of sunny disposition. However, she is unable to tolerate frustration of any kind and quickly becomes fractious if any of her self-indulgent behaviour is checked.
She has a remarkably good use of language. She constantly importunes for attention. I am afraid it is unlikely that an ordinary fostering would be successful at this stage unless one were lucky enough to find a dedicated set of foster-parents endowed with unlimited patience.
Oh, Jenny – in that one letter you’re being written off already, aren’t you? You’re the child from a media headline; you’re a little girl whose only hope is to be ‘lucky enough’ to find foster-parents with unlimited patience. I wonder what you would have become if you had found those perfect foster-parents? I really do feel that many of those who tried were good people, but there were circumstances they couldn’t control, or their own family demands got in the way of helping you. The awful thing is, you were one of so many – and so many children are still in exactly the same position. So much effort is put into keeping families together when the truth is, some homes are just toxic. Some people should never have children.
With a lack of suitable foster-parents, Jenny was moved into residential accommodation in a place called Newton Hall. By April 1975, it was being noted that she wasn’t that bothered when our parents left if they ever did make the effort to see her in the first place – she thought of them as Norman and Lesley, and staff had to remind her of their relationship. Mum wasn’t happy with this and I’m sure it led to her deciding that she didn’t want her eldest daughter back at all – for the moment. ‘This is the first time that Mrs Yeo has made any suggestion that she does not want Jennifer home. Mr Yeo’s remarks were rather insignificant and insipid. I am beginning to wonder if they are really interested in Jennifer’s future.’ (19 June 1975)
Looking at the files, it seems to me that something has obviously been very badly fractured; maybe, as Jenny was getting older, she had more of an awareness of how badly she had been treated, and of how she continued to be seen as just an awkward part of our parents’ lives. By June that year, even the social worker was finally beginning to recognise the lies and manipulation and broken promises. Mum was saying that she didn’t see any point in making the effort to visit Jenny if she would be in care until she was eighteen, or that she had no money – even though she was told she could apply for travelling expenses – or no one to look after us, and that we couldn’t go as we got travel-sick. All lies. Letters constantly repeat that they showed ‘no initiative’ while she was at Newton Hall. Mum always made excuses about visiting her there, plans never came to anything and she would always suggest that Jenny came home, which was not something that was supported when she and Dad made no effort to see her elsewhere.
There was a new baby in our family by this point, which must have been so unsettling for Jenny. I can’t help but think she must have wondered why Mum and Dad had another baby – and kept it at home – when she was unloved and unwanted, now in a residential home in Frodsham. In April 1976, Jenny visited to see baby Kevin and was left for an hour by the social worker. While she was away, my sister visited the bathroom, which obviously triggered memories of when Mum used to flush her head down the loo as punishment; there was an awful scene, which was still going on when the social worker returned. She rightly noted: ‘I don’t honestly know if these two could ever live together – I doubt it.’
With Jenny at Frodsham, there should have been more of a settled sense to everything, but Mum was still up to her tricks of claiming that she wanted her back, then she didn’t want her. She wanted to see her, then she didn’t want to see her. Everything had to be on Mum’s terms, and sometimes it’s beyond belief to think that these power games were with a six-year-old child. While it didn’t escape the eyes of the social work team, they could only express their frustration rather than put an end to it, given that parental rights were always to be considered.
Mrs Yeo was in a belligerent mood today – the worst I have seen her. She insists she wants Jennifer home and she will go to Court. She talked a lot of nonsense. I told her she could go to Frodsham at any time but, of course, this is always countered by the usual excuses. She told us Mr Yeo went out fishing in the mornings and was out looking for jobs in the afternoon – he obviously has his priorities the right way round! Except, of course, we are fairly certain he isn’t looking for work any time of the day. I feel things are probably going to get difficult, but, if she wishes, she can apply to the Courts. We would oppose the application most strongly. I’m afraid Mrs Yeo only convinced us more than ever of her unsuitability of having Jennifer and her complete lack of understanding of the situation. We saw the other children in the family and there does not appear to be any cause for concern. [ …] Jennifer expressed disappointment that she was not going to see her mummy and daddy; she changes her mood and her mind by the minute.
(29 July 1976)
They may have been right about some things but, while they were starting in many ways to get a clear view of what my parents were like, in others they were wrong to think there was no cause for concern. My life was still one of shouting and emotional abuse. I was never shown any love, never cuddled, never made to think I was anything other than an inconvenience. Mum never spoke to me without calling me names, and my normality was one of coldness at best. She was doing to me what it seemed she had done to Jenny.
My first day at school was a happy time. It’s not that anything was made of it before I started – there was no happy build-up or excitement as we chose my uniform and bag – but I did look forward to finally being a big girl,
and escaping home every weekday. The classroom seemed huge after our crowded, messy house. There was a massive – or so it seemed – plastic Wendy house, with pots and pans, which was my favourite thing of all. I adored playing in there, making my own little world, and pretending that I was the mummy. The good mummy who made lovely food for her kiddies and ensured everything was spotless. Despite the happiness there, though, there was always the worry in the back of my mind that I was doing something wrong. I hadn’t really been socialised and my sense of normality was totally skewed.
We were all isolated from our neighbours and were never taken anywhere really; it was certainly a very rare occasion when we went to someone else’s house. I had no friends. My world was my siblings, my family, anyone who came to our house to have sex with my parents – and social workers. And from that came worry. Once I was out in the world, I didn’t really know what to do. I always thought I was stupid because that was all I had ever been told. I still think that way to this day, and suspect I always will. There was always a little voice inside my head that did me down. ‘You’re dilatory,’ Mum would scream. ‘Fucking dilatory.’ That was her favourite word for me, and I must have heard it thousands of times over the years, even though I didn’t really even know what it meant. One year, I even got a card from my brothers that said, ‘Happy Birthday – we love you even though you are a bit slow.’
