Home to Me

by Bybee, Catherine

  Yep! She’d kissed him back.

  “Oh, God.” Now she needed to face him again.

  Him and his entire crew.

  Twenty minutes later Matt and the others were dressed in their blue uniform pants and LA County Firefighter T-shirts. They dug into the pile of food like teenage kids walking in the door after school.

  “This kind of eating makes me wish for a low-key fire every day,” Tom said as he dished a healthy portion of garlic mashed potatoes onto his plate.

  “You just don’t like to cook,” Jessie told him.

  Tom shrugged.

  “If it makes you feel any better, we don’t like to eat what you cook either,” Matt roasted his friend.

  Erin sat quietly watching the banter with a grin. This was the largest group of strangers she’d sat down with since moving to California. And there were only five people at the table she didn’t know. Maci, the woman she was before, loved this kind of thing. But Erin . . . yeah, she wasn’t comfortable in groups of people. This intimate setting was bound to move on to the get to know you questions. And those required well-practiced lies. Good thing there wasn’t any alcohol at the table. She’d drunk enough with Parker to realize that she sucked at keeping her secrets after a few drinks.

  “There’s nearly as much for dessert as there is for dinner, so leave some room,” Tamara told them.

  “Did you make a cobbler?” Anton asked his wife.

  “No. Erin brought dessert,” she told him.

  Kim giggled but didn’t say more.

  Matt leaned over. “Did you bring brownies?”

  That was an easy question. “I did.”

  He winced.

  “What? I thought you liked them.”

  “Your brownies are biblical and introducing them to these guys could be dangerous.”

  There was such pride in his voice it was hard not to smile.

  “Biblical, huh?” Jessie asked.

  Matt shook his head. “No. Actually, you won’t like them at all. I’ll save you the trouble and take them home.”

  “Now I have to try them, diet or not,” Tamara said.

  “You don’t need to lose weight . . .” Kim changed the subject, and before long the bulk of them were talking like any close family would.

  Anton was the boss of this family, with Jessie being the baby. Not that any of them were old or young . . . it was just how it worked. Kim was Tom’s second wife. Anton and Tamara had been married “forever” as she put it before leaning over and kissing her husband. Jessie was a newlywed with a baby on the way.

  “How did you two meet?” Tamara turned the conversation on Erin and Matt.

  Erin paused long enough for Matt to answer. “Through Colin. His fiancée is Erin’s landlord.”

  “I didn’t know Colin had a fiancée,” Tom said.

  “It’s not official yet,” Erin added and looked at Matt. “Unless you know something I don’t know.”

  “I’m sure he’s popped the question by now,” Matt said. He turned to the others at the table. “He and Parker are in Cabo. He’s putting a ring on it before the end of the weekend.”

  “But will she say yes?” Jessie asked.

  Everyone looked at Erin.

  “Yes. She will,” she said.

  Matt smiled.

  Tamara tilted her head. “That’s wonderful. This is the girl that lives at the top of Creek Canyon, right? Where all the flooding was?”

  Matt nodded. “Yeah. Erin lives in her guesthouse. It’s been a crazy winter for all of them.”

  Several sets of eyes turned to her.

  “That must have been awful. First the fire, then the flooding,” Kim said.

  “I moved in after the fire. But Parker told me it was like living through hell,” Erin told them.

  Anton pushed his empty plate aside and leaned back. “The Creek Canyon fire was one of the worst we’ve seen here. The way it exploded out of that canyon didn’t give any time for air attacks or hand crews and dozers to cut a line. I’m surprised we didn’t lose more homes.”

  From there the men talked about the fire they were just on. How it behaved, what they did to save homes. As the conversation rolled on and on, Erin realized this was why the wives were a part of this first fire of the season. The firefighters—Matt’s friends—discussed their day in a way that decompressed everyone at the table. Fire was normal to them. What would scare the average person was their daily life. Or at least it was potentially a daily part of their life. Erin learned that every wildfire they’d been called to so far that year had been contained within an hour. She also discovered that the next wildfire that caught would result in phone calls and not sit-down dinners at the station.

  “Normally, if a fire goes on for any length of time, a new crew is brought here to man the station while we’re out on the line.” There were three shifts at the station. A, B, and C. They were B shift, which meant this crew worked together most of the time. But that didn’t mean they didn’t work with others at the station.

  Erin had a lot to learn.

  When Tamara stood up and grabbed a dish, everyone else followed.

  No one stayed sitting while they cleaned up the dinner mess. Any leftovers were put in containers so the wives could take them home.

  “What is all that?” Jessie indicated an entire counter piled up with foil-wrapped goodies.

  “Dessert,” Kim told him. “I hope you left room.”

  Matt turned to Erin. “How many brownies did you make?”

  She blinked several times. “I like to bake.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Matt walked Erin out of the station and to her car parked on the street. “You can park in the lot next time.”

  “You’re assuming there’s going to be a next time.” The smile on her face told him she was teasing.

  Yet with Erin, one could never be sure. He leaned against her car door so he could spend a few more minutes with her alone before she said goodbye. “I was surprised to see you here.”

  She had the most beautiful eyes. Sky blue, but not pale, wide and innocent . . . the kind he could drown in.

  “I was a little shocked myself,” she said.

  “You do realize you made enough desserts to make us all diabetic.”

  That made her laugh.

  He liked her laugh. Now if only he could make her look him in the eye.

  “I’m sorry I’m going to miss tomorrow’s barbeque.”

  “It’s okay. It’s late. I’ll probably sleep in and Austin and Mallory will order pizza.”

  He really wanted to see those eyes looking at him. “Still sorry I’m going to miss it. I mean, unless they like anchovies. Then never mind.”

  Bingo. Her eyes met his with a smile that lit them up.

  Then he said what he knew would result in her looking away. But with this woman, he knew instinctively that talking was to his advantage. So he channeled his little sister. “I kissed you.”

  Her gaze immediately dropped to her feet. “I noticed.”

  “You didn’t pull away.”

  Her hands started a personal tug-of-war with the strap of her purse that hung from her shoulder. “I noticed that, too.”

  Matt could feel her unease just as much as he felt the cool night air reminding him it wasn’t quite summer.

  He took a step away from the car and opened the door for her to climb in.

  Erin moved in front of him and hesitated. Her eyes drifted to his and she glanced ever so slowly at his lips. It was an invitation. But instead of acting on it, he waited.

  Move in, his mind screamed. Just a fraction of an inch and he could kiss her again and make sure she felt it.

  “Uhm . . . ,” she started.

  Then the alarm inside the fire station ripped them both out of the moment.

  He rolled his head back, closed his eyes.

  “What’s that?”

  “A call.”

  “But you just got back.”

  He laughed. Couldn’t help hims
elf. “We made it through dinner. It’s a blessing, trust me.” He slowly brought his hand to her cheek and leaned close. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “You don’t have—”

  The door to the main garage rolled up.

  He had to go.

  His hand dropped, and the kiss she offered would have to wait. “Drive carefully.”

  “Be safe.”

  He winked. “I always am.”

  Erin’s phone vibrated on the nightstand three times in a row, pulling her from her morning fog. It didn’t help that she hadn’t slept well all night. She’d replayed Matt’s words, his expressions, and his kiss more times than a teenager on their very first date. She was helpless. Absolutely helpless. When she wasn’t tossing and turning, she was checking her phone and the app that told her when his station needed to respond to a call.

  Her phone buzzed a fourth time, and Erin reached over to find out what the emergency was at seven in the morning on a Saturday.

  The first text was only an image sent from Parker. A picture of what she assumed was her friend’s left hand with a stunning diamond brightening up her ring finger.

  The second text was an image of them standing on a beach with large rocks in the background. The sky was cloudy and they were both drenched from head to toe. Almost like they’d fallen in the water fully clothed and were pulled out and dragged in the sand. They looked awful and yet they were both smiling like they’d stopped laughing long enough to pose for the camera. With this image Parker texted. Boy do I have a story behind this picture.

  The third text was from Matt. Parker said yes. And . . . Good Morning.

  Erin responded to Parker first. Congratulations! I can’t wait to hear all about why you both look like drowned rats.

  Her next text went to Matt. Good morning to you. And yes, Parker has already sent me pictures. Your brother has good taste in rings. Although Erin was fairly certain that Parker had left pictures of rings that she liked in plain view for Colin to pick up on. Still, he delivered.

  Erin put her phone down and tossed her covers back. She listened for sounds of Austin or Scout and didn’t hear anything. Then again, Austin slept late on weekends from what Parker had told her.

  Her phone buzzed.

  OMG!!! He kissed you? Matt kissed you?

  Erin blinked several times, shook her head, and blinked again.

  Nope, she was reading that right.

  He told you? she texted.

  The screen flashed three dots for quite a while. Matt told Colin, Colin told me. Close family . . . I know, it’s strange. How was it?

  Wonderful . . . too wonderful. We’ll talk when you’re home. Enjoy your new bling.

  Seriously. You’re killing me, Erin. Just tell me one thing. Are you smiling right now? Parker’s question caught her by surprise.

  Erin lifted a hand to her cheek, felt the grin on her lips.

  Yes.

  Sure enough, Parker needed to have the last word. Eeekkkkk! Okay. We’ll talk when I get back. Following her text were three lines of hearts of different colors, kissy lips, and flowers.

  The woman was obviously happy.

  She wiggled her toes in the carpet and forced herself off the bed. By the time she was in the kitchen, Scout had pushed out of Austin’s bedroom and stood at the sliding door wagging his tail.

  It was already in the low seventies, so she left the door open for the dog to come and go as he pleased.

  Instead of coffee, she boiled water for tea. Caffeine was on the high-priority list. So was figuring out how to deal with Matt. She had no business kissing him back or letting him do it in the first place.

  She wasn’t even divorced yet.

  Not that he knew that. And not that she considered herself married. Still.

  Her phone rang as the kettle on the stove started to hum.

  Speaking of hot lips. “Good morning, Matt.”

  “I like how you say that,” he told her.

  She shook her head. “You’re such a flirt.”

  “Guilty. I started to text you again and thought I’d call since we were both obviously up.”

  She placed the phone on the counter and pressed the speaker option. “It sounds like you’ve been doing lots of early morning phone calls.”

  “Ohhh, I’m busted, aren’t I?”

  She added the boiled water to the cup that housed a tea bag. “Do you share everything with your brother?”

  “The important stuff, yeah. He told me Parker said yes, and I might have told him that we kissed.”

  “I honestly didn’t think men did that,” she said.

  “It was more like he told me Parker loved the ring and she thought everyone needed a little romance in their life. Parker was sitting right there, and I heard her ask how everything was at the house. You know how she micromanages everything.”

  “Yeah. I do.”

  “Right. So she asked if I had been to the house. I told them you came to the station. I think Parker screamed. You know, the kind where a woman is happy screaming.”

  Erin pictured the scene. “Yeah. I know.”

  “And then I accidentally told them I kissed you.” He paused. “Then there was more screaming.”

  “You had me up until you accidentally told them we kissed. How does one accidentally say anything?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe I’m delirious from a lack of sleep last night. Are you mad?”

  He hadn’t slept either. And that made her smile.

  “No.”

  “Thank God.”

  “But I’m a private person, Matt.”

  “It won’t happen again.”

  She hesitated. “The kiss?”

  “No! I mean, I hope not. I’m totally game for more kissing. I’ll just keep it to myself.”

  The reality that she was flirting back and shamelessly leading him on hit her hard. “I’m not in a great place to guarantee more kissing.”

  He was silent for a second. “You didn’t like it?”

  “No. It was . . .” She sighed. “I’m not good at this.”

  “You’re wrong there. I didn’t sleep last night because I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You didn’t sleep last night because you were called out of bed twice.”

  “Wait. How do you know that?”

  She winced. Probably shouldn’t have shared that. “The app.”

  “You’re totally spying on me.” There was laughter in his voice.

  “It’s a public app. It wasn’t like I was outside the station with binoculars or anything.”

  “That would be creepy,” he said.

  “Right. So I wasn’t spying.”

  “Curious?”

  “Concerned.”

  “That’s even better.”

  Erin closed her eyes. “Matt—”

  “It’s okay, Erin. I get it. I kissed you and you liked it enough to make you think. Which I’m totally good with. I want you thinking about me.”

  “You’re pretty sure of yourself.”

  “Am I wrong?”

  Oh, how she wanted to call him on his words.

  Instead she said nothing.

  “Exactly,” he concluded. “I just want you to know that I’m thinking about you, too.”

  She liked the sound of that . . . much as she hated to admit it.

  “Let me take you out.”

  “No.” Her response was instant. Autopilot. “I mean. I’m not in a good place right now.” The line was so practiced it started to sound stale, even to her.

  After a few seconds of silence, Matt said, “Okay. I won’t push.”

  Exactly what she wanted to hear. But why did her chest ache? “Okay.”

  “I’m not giving up. I just won’t push.” His words were so light and full of sunshine the pressure in her chest lifted instantly.

  “You’re something else.”

  “Yeah. I know. And I have to go.”

  “Be careful,” she said.

 
“Erin?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Nothing. I just like saying your name. I’ll call you later.” And he hung up.

  Before she could wake her brain up from the conversation, her phone buzzed.

  You’re something else, too.

  She stared at the screen. “Oh, Erin, what are you getting yourself into?”

  Erin stood beside the doorway by the terminal exit. She was on pickup duty at the airport. Since the place was congested as usual, she opted to park her car instead of driving in circles waiting to get a call from Parker that they were ready at the curbside. Like anytime she went to a public place as big as LAX, she wore a ball cap and sunglasses. Blend in and not be seen. Especially in an airport.

  Desmond had traveled a lot. His work demanded it. Or so he’d told her. She assumed he had several affairs he was juggling. Either way, he left town a lot, which gave her time away from him. Just thinking of him had her ducking her head closer to her chest and hiding her eyes, which were no longer safely behind sunglasses, since wearing them indoors made people look closer.

  More times than she’d like, she wondered if he hit the women he kept on the side. Surely she wasn’t the only one. If only he’d hit the wrong one and she managed to put him behind bars. Then maybe Erin could have kept her other life.

  Much as she tried to push the thoughts from her head, the familiar noise of travelers rushing about an airport sparked many memories, most of which included him.

  A man wearing a business suit moved to stand beside her and for a second, she froze. From the corner of her eye she caught a digital tablet bearing the name of a traveler. Only then did she glance over to confirm that the man bore no resemblance to her husband.

  Matt didn’t wear a suit. At least she’d never seen him in one.

  The thought of him helped her speeding heart slow to a normal pace.

  A wave of travelers walked out of the secure area of the airport and forced her to focus. She scanned the crowd, looking for the happy couple. Five minutes went by and they emerged exactly as she’d pictured them. Tan, smiling, and way too relaxed for anyone to miss how they’d spent their holiday.

  Parker squealed when she saw her, ran up, and shoved her hand in Erin’s face before saying hello.

  The ring was even more beautiful in person. “Well done, Colin,” Erin said to him before opening her arms for a hug from each of them.