Home to Me

by Bybee, Catherine

  She collapsed on top of him as they slowly made their way back to earth.

  Erin tucked her head in the space between his shoulder and his chin. “Where have you been all my life?”

  He waved a victorious hand in the air. “Yes. Mission accomplished.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  They’d moved to her bed. His T-shirt covered her a little too much, and Matt had pulled his boxers on so he could be present in their conversation and not keenly aware that he was completely naked while she was all kinds of hot in his shirt.

  The moment they’d caught their breath, Erin announced how hungry she was.

  He didn’t point out that they’d just had dinner. He followed her into her kitchen and helped make sandwiches, and when those were done, she heated up brownies.

  Matt waved the bit of chocolate goodness in the air. “You’ve been holding out on me.”

  She sat cross-legged on her bed while he lounged against the headboard. “How so?” she asked between bites.

  “You warmed them up. This takes the madness to a new level.”

  He loved her smile. “I don’t know why I’m so hungry.”

  He dropped a hand on her naked thigh. “I have a guess.”

  “These are pretty good, huh?”

  Apparently Erin liked to eat . . . after. Matt found himself fascinated with how much she was enjoying her food. “I think you might want to patent the recipe and make money off of them.”

  “You mean like Betty Crocker?”

  He looked her up . . . and down. His shirt covered her, but he knew damn well she wasn’t wearing panties. “A hot version of Mrs. Crocker.”

  “How do you know Mrs. C. wasn’t hot? She could have been the blonde you crave.”

  His jaw slacked. “I’m all about the sassy short-haired brunette.”

  “I wasn’t fishing for a compliment, Matt.”

  “You’re going to get one anyway.”

  Her gaze grew distant, and he nudged her knee with the back of his foot. “Where did you go?”

  She blinked a few times, put the food she was eating aside. “Was this . . . was I . . . ?” A question hung at the end of her incomplete sentence, and Matt knew exactly what she was thinking about.

  “It was, and you were.”

  She smiled and looked away.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said.

  She shook her head. “I don’t want to ruin this moment.”

  Matt sat up and moved so that she had to look him in the eye. “First of all, nothing can ruin what just happened. But the only way to preserve it is for us to be open and honest. When I leave I don’t want you asking yourself a bunch of questions that I can answer and getting them wrong.” He paused. “Talk to me, Erin. Is this the first time since . . .” He didn’t mention her ex-husband. He didn’t have to.

  “Yes.”

  Much as he didn’t want to know the truth behind his next question, he felt the need to assure her that her thoughts and feelings were normal so they could push past them. “Did you think of him . . . at any time?”

  She squeezed her eyes shut, and his gut twisted the brownie inside into a knot.

  “My mind tried to go there. But I forced it out, Matt. I hate that there was even a ghost of my past clouding what just happened.”

  He blew out a sigh and leaned forward. With a hand on her naked thigh he said, “Please don’t hate anything we’ve done. You were with him, he hurt you . . . I can’t imagine putting myself in a position that I once felt pain. Considering everything, I think we did pretty well.”

  Her hands were doing the wringing thing. A sign he recognized as stress. “I never thought I’d enjoy sex again.”

  “Well, unless I’m a complete clueless asshole, I think you enjoyed yourself tonight.”

  She smiled for the longest time, and then he saw moisture in her eyes. “You were so thoughtful,” she said as her voice broke.

  Oh, God . . . she was going to cry.

  Matt hated seeing a woman cry.

  He pulled her into his arms.

  There wasn’t a possibility in the world that he could imagine what she was thinking right at that moment. So instead of suggesting he had a clue, he simply held her until she gained control. While she did, her arms tightened and she sucked in short breaths through her nose. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be.”

  She cried almost silently. “I wish we didn’t have to have a safe word.”

  He stroked her short hair and rubbed the back of her neck as he did. “Did it make you feel safe to have it?”

  Erin nodded.

  “Then we keep it.”

  “We didn’t need it tonight.”

  Much as he liked to think every time would be this easy . . . well, it took some serious work to hold himself back at several moments during their lovemaking. He’d seen enough in his short career to know that old trauma could flash inside someone at any time. “We keep it,” he repeated. “You need me to stop, take notice . . . anything to know you’re not okay, watermelon is the word.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Please stop saying that. I’m a zillion percent into what we’re doing here. I’m in with my eyes open and your past in front of us.”

  She nodded into his shoulder.

  “Now . . . the next question is where am I sleeping tonight?” He didn’t want to go home. Didn’t think Erin being alone was a great idea after . . . well, after.

  She pushed off his shoulder and wiped her eyes with his shirt. “I want you to stay, but I don’t know if I can do it.”

  “Do what?”

  Her lip quivered. “Fall asleep with you in my bed.”

  Matt reached over her, took the plate of half-eaten food, and put it on her nightstand. “We won’t know until we try,” he told her.

  “Matt . . .”

  “If you need me to leave, I will. I’ll sleep on the couch if I have to. But let’s try.”

  Her tears had dried up, and she hid a yawn with her hand. “I feel like I ran a marathon.”

  “Have you ever run twenty-six miles before?”

  “No,” she said, laughing.

  He pulled the covers back, patted the bed, and hesitated. “Which side do you sleep on?”

  “In this bed . . . everywhere. But the left.”

  He hated to ask, but he needed to know. “And with him?”

  “The right. He made me sleep on the right.”

  He moved to the side of the bed that would make her the most comfortable and fluffed his pillow. “I have to leave early for work.”

  She stared at him for the longest time. “Why are you so kind to me?”

  Leaning past her, he twisted off the light on the nightstand. Plunged into darkness, he reached up and touched her face. “I like to think I’m kind to everyone. But with you, it’s because you’ve rocked my world since the night we met, and now that I’m half-naked in your bed, I wouldn’t do anything to mess that up. Kindness is the minimum, Erin. You deserve so much more.”

  She sunk down into the bed beside him. Her leg grazed his as she settled. Her body rolled toward him, and he wrapped her slender frame in his arms. For several seconds they were both silent. Slowly, he felt her starting to relax.

  “If you need me to—”

  Her soft inhale and deep exhale told him she wasn’t listening.

  Erin was already asleep.

  Matt kissed the top of her head and rested his hand on her hip.

  This . . . the whole thing, was profoundly good.

  When she woke up, he was gone, and the sun had been up for hours. Light filled the room, and the small air conditioner hummed. She hadn’t remembered turning it on.

  Erin rolled over, pulled the pillow that had held Matt’s sleeping head, and hugged it to her face. It smelled like him. Her senses warmed her body, and her memory of the evening lit her soul. She lay like that for several seconds and imagined that he was still there stroking her hair and talking to her as she fell asl
eep.

  Damn, she felt good. Better than she had in, well . . . forever. Matt had taken such care in assuring her that she was safe. And yet he didn’t handle her as if she were made of glass. He drank his fill and nibbled every part of her, and holy cow, she couldn’t wait to do it again.

  Erin forced her eyes open to look at the clock.

  It was after ten.

  A low chuckle rose in the back of her throat until she lay there laughing. Not since she was a teenager had she slept in until ten.

  She stretched like a cat, wiggling her fingers and toes in opposite directions. It was then that she realized she was wearing Matt’s shirt. The thought of him riding his motorcycle home half-naked had her laughing all over again.

  The bathroom called her name so she swung her legs off the bed. Her naked butt met the air-conditioned chill in the room that made her shiver.

  “What happened to your panties, girl?” Her question to herself kept her mood light.

  In her small bathroom there was a sticky note by her toothbrush. I used your toothbrush. I see there is room for one more in here so I’ll bring one over. Matt.

  When she was done, she took his note with her in search of coffee.

  She found another sticky note on her discarded panties on the floor. I actually considered taking these. But I’m a grown-up and I didn’t. Matt.

  She giggled, picked up her underwear, and went back to her room and tossed them in the hamper. Back through her home, Erin found another note on top of the kitchen counter. This is my official favorite spot in your house. Matt.

  “Mine, too.”

  Another note on her plastic container that housed the leftover brownies. I totally ate one of these for breakfast. Matt.

  The last note she found was in the cupboard next to her coffee cups. It was longer and took up several sticky notes.

  You’re beautiful when you sleep, stunning when you explode under my touch, and brave to let me see you in these vulnerable moments. I wanted to wake you with a kiss but couldn’t disturb my sleeping beauty. Please text me when you’re up so I can remind you how much I enjoyed last night. How much I enjoy every moment I’m with you. Have a spectacular day. Matt.

  She crushed his love notes to her chest with a smile.

  After pulling her cell phone from her purse, she noticed the low battery light blinking and plugged it in. Leaning against the kitchen counter, she shot Matt a text. I just woke up.

  Within seconds, three tiny dots flashed, and she eagerly waited for his response.

  Give me two minutes.

  She set the phone aside and turned on her one-cup-at-a-time coffee maker before retrieving creamer from her fridge.

  True to his timeline, her phone rang within the hundred and twenty seconds Matt had told her.

  “Good morning.” His voice was a purr.

  “Almost afternoon,” she countered.

  “I’m jealous of your bed.”

  Her fingertips grazed his notes. “Someone had a lot to say before he left.”

  “Yeah, well . . . I would have said it all to you in person, but you were out like a light. I even made noise, and you didn’t so much as sigh in your sleep.”

  “That’s unusual. I haven’t slept that good in a long time.”

  He paused. “I like to hear that. What are you doing now?”

  “Making coffee wearing your shirt. What did you drive home in?”

  He laughed. “Costume. I looked like one of the Village People riding my bike with only my leather jacket on.”

  She giggled.

  “You think it’s funny, huh?”

  “Gives new meaning to the walk of shame.”

  “Oh, darlin’, there is nothing shameful about last night.” He sighed. “How are you feeling about it? No regrets?”

  “That hasn’t entered my mind. I feel good, Matt. Really good. Like maybe I’ll go jogging this morning.”

  “I didn’t know you were a runner.”

  “I haven’t been. Not in a long time. But I think that’s what I’ll do. It’s such a beautiful day.” Like someone had tossed the blinds up for the first time since she changed her name. Matt had done that.

  “God, I wish I was there to see the smile on your face.”

  And that’s exactly what she felt on her lips. “What are we doing on Saturday?”

  “Are you asking me out?” he asked.

  She reached for her coffee that had finished percolating and killed it with creamer. “Actually, you asked earlier in the week.”

  “Oh . . . that’s right.”

  She sipped her coffee. “I have an idea.”

  “Let’s hear it.”

  “How about a ride on your motorcycle and a picnic lunch up in the mountains?”

  “God, woman . . . where have you been all my life?”

  Erin smiled into her cup. She didn’t know, but now that she was there, she wasn’t going to waste any time.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Matt felt like he was picking up his date for prom, only without the suit. He drove up to the gate and pressed the button to call the house.

  “Hey, Matt. Come in,” Parker’s voice called out from the box.

  He waved at the camera mounted on the fence post and waited for the gate to open. His bike announced his arrival, and he noticed Erin pop her head out her front door as he cut the engine.

  “You kids be careful,” Parker yelled from the porch of the main house.

  “Yes, Mom,” Matt teased.

  He took the package he had strapped to the back of his bike and left his helmet in its place. He’d gotten off work, went home to change, and then headed straight over to pick up Erin. He’d thought about her constantly whenever the day calmed down. Now that she was only a few feet away, his body hummed with anticipation.

  “Knock, knock.” He walked in her open door to find her sticking food in a backpack.

  “Come in.”

  Her jeans were snug, wrapping around her ass in a way that made his mouth water. “Don’t you look appetizing.”

  “Ha. You mean the food.”

  “I mean you!” He set the package on the counter—his favorite part of her home—and walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pressed his lips to the side of her neck, and she stopped what she was doing and leaned back.

  “You’re distracting me.”

  “Yes, ma’am, I am.”

  She twisted around and placed her hands on his hips. “Hi.”

  He leaned down until he felt her breath. “Hello.”

  Damn, she tasted good. Summer and apple pie good.

  When she started to melt, he pulled away. “We won’t be going anywhere if we start that.”

  Erin licked her lips and twisted back around.

  He rested his chin on her shoulder and kept her in his arms. “What are we having?”

  “You said you weren’t picky.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Good. It’s a surprise.” She zipped up the backpack and scooted it aside.

  “Speaking of surprises.” He put a little space between them and handed her the package he’d brought. “For you.”

  She looked at the box. “What’s this?”

  “It’s for you.”

  “It’s not my birthday.” Erin tugged a finger through the tape holding the wrapping paper in place.

  “I think you’ll like it.”

  She pulled apart the paper, sat the box on the counter, and opened it. Her jaw slacked. The red leather jacket came out of the box and went straight to her cheek. “This is beautiful.”

  “If you’re riding with me on mountain roads, you need the right clothes.”

  She handed it to him and turned around so he could help her put it on. “When did you have time to get it?”

  One arm at a time and she twisted back in his direction.

  The fit was perfect.

  “I had a little help. I did some recon online and called Parker when I found a place in town who had this
in stock.”

  Erin pushed past him and over to a mirror she had by her front door. “You had Parker go shopping for you?”

  “I needed a woman to help with sizing. I’d screw that part up.” He walked to her and zipped together the sides of the jacket. He stopped just shy of her breasts and took the liberty of making sure the girls were properly displayed.

  “Having fun?” she asked.

  “This is fantasy stuff right here.”

  She turned back around, twisted to look at the back in the mirror, and then smoothed her hands over the front. “I love it. Thank you.”

  Yeah . . . he did, too. “My pleasure. I have one more surprise.”

  “Matt!”

  “It’s necessary. Trust me.” He looked around her place, grabbed the backpack. “You ready?”

  “Let me set the alarm and I’ll meet you outside.”

  He stepped out and shut the door. Seconds later she joined him by his bike, and he handed her his second gift. “These helmets have a built-in communication system,” he told her. “Check it out.”

  Erin pulled the helmet over her head. It, too, was red to match her jacket. There was a whole lotta sexy wrapped up in one woman. “This fits better than the other one.”

  “It’s meant for a woman.” He reached for his helmet.

  “You mean you bought this for me?”

  He winked. “You said you liked the bike, and, honey . . . I’m going to do everything I can to keep that going.”

  He adjusted his and helped her with hers and then activated the Bluetooth headsets. He turned away and whispered, “Hey, sexy.” He was rewarded with a pat on his ass.

  Facing her again, he asked, “Can you hear me?”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  “This way we can talk while we’re on the road.”

  He helped her with the backpack, started the bike, and counted his lucky stars when she straddled the bike and him in turn. “Let’s do this.”

  She held on, and he took off.

  He took her up Angeles Crest and into the forest. Unlike other parts of the world, Southern California forests weren’t densely wooded and filled with lakes. Most of the time the temperature didn’t even drop as they climbed the altitude needed to call a hill a mountain. Still, it was a break from the city and great roads to show Erin the fun one could have on a street bike. He wondered if he could interest her in camping in the desert once the weather cooled in the fall. From the way she was holding on and the ohhs and ahhs he heard in his earphones, he figured he had a chance that she would.