Secret Way to the Heart

by Camille Regholec

  “I-I am fine, thank you,” Jayne stammered at William’s unusual gesture and expression. Was he becoming attracted to her? She could not remember a time when William had shown this type of familiarity toward her, and it flustered her. “Why do you ask?”

  “Well . . .” William’s hesitation was also unexpected as he seemed to be searching for the correct words. If it wasn’t so strange, Jayne would have laughed at the thought that she could make a lawyer speechless. For a second, she wondered if he, too, had heard about her escapade, but his next comment took away that thought and shook her to the core. “Well, to see you looking so . . . so beautiful, standing here in the sunlight with your nephew in your arms and to be standing so alone, I . . .”

  “Why William!” Jayne’s cheeks burned. “How kind of you to say that. I truly am fine, especially now with such a gallant man by my side.”

  “I thank you, my dear.” William gave a small bow and placed his hand on her elbow. “May I escort you home? It is a beautiful day for a walk.”

  “I would be delighted,” Jayne replied, her smile growing larger as they fell into step. “And after you have been so gallant, you may visit your doting grandmother for, as you well know, she makes her wonderful pies for Sunday dessert.”

  “As if that would be my only reason for escorting you in that direction!” Their laughter filled the air around them, and Jayne only momentarily noticed that Jeremiah was walking in the opposite direction. The group of young ladies now stood silent, watching her and her companion head up the hill.

  For the next several Sundays, William would stand outside the church’s large doors, waiting for her to exit. Jayne was glad for William’s acceptance. Though she did not remove her bonnet in William’s presence nor tell him about her escapade and her hair, Jayne happily let him escort her home, rather than watch all the young women vie for Jeremiah’s attention.

  At first William would hold her elbow, then one day, he reached over and took the sleeping David Moses out of Jayne’s arms. This only lasted a short time until the child awoke, and seeing William, he began to howl.

  “My, you would think I was killing the boy! What a horrible racket he makes!” William laughed uneasily as he tried to calm the child by awkwardly patting his back. David Moses would have none of that and began flailing his arms and kicking his feet to be free of the man. Finally, in defeat, William surrendered the toddler over to Jayne.

  Instantly, David Moses stopped screaming, calming down, and stuck his thumb in his mouth. With red-rimmed eyes, he stared at William as he settled against Jayne. William shook a finger at the child. “Look at that! He has won, and he’s not ashamed to gloat!”

  “Oh William! David Moses isn’t gloating!” Jayne laughingly objected as she kissed the child’s downy hair. “He’s only a baby and doesn’t know you yet.”

  “Mmmm. If I remember correctly, David Moses never acts that way with Mr. Jeremiah Bronson and his daughter.” William’s lips twisted briefly before resuming their usual smiling shape. “In fact, I’ve seen this child of yours reach out those chubby little arms in invitation to the Right Reverend.”

  “Don’t be silly, William.” There was a slight tremor to Jayne’s voice, and she sped up her steps so William would not see the confusion in her eyes. She, too, had observed the child’s reaction to Jeremiah and had been amazed at how the two had bonded. Also William’s remark of “this child of yours” hit her heart hard. Her love for the boy ran so deep it frightened her. “David Moses reacts that way because he expects to see the minister’s daughter, who dotes on him. Anyway, Mr. Jeremiah Bronson will be leaving as soon as his uncle’s health improves, and then he will be gone forever.” A thought Jayne found extremely unpleasant. “Let us talk of other things.”

  Laughing, William agreed, “Yes, let’s do so.”

  Sunday afternoons were now more exciting as she was supposedly being courted by the second most eligible man in town. They spoke of many trivial things, but Jayne sensed it was the occasional serious questions William seemed to innocently throw into the conversations that he truly sought answers to. Questions about her brother’s or Joel’s whereabouts made Jayne uneasy. At first she refrained from answering such questions, changing the subject, but he would persist, his laughter forced. It was only when Jayne suggested William inquire of her parents on these matters that he would stop. Yet, he never brought the subject up in their presence, even when invited to join them for a meal. Jayne tried not to wonder about William’s real purpose for these walks. But it was a worry that lingered in her mind.

  The rest of the week was full of mundane chores that never appeared to end. Haul wood, haul water to the animals, clean stalls, tend the garden, cook meals, and care for David Moses. And Hope. Though she had come to love the little girl, her presence did not help with Jayne’s determination to keep the child’s father out of her thoughts.

  Jayne found washday to be particularly useful in keeping her mind off of the preacher man, Jeremiah. There was just too much work to do. Before Mary and Pete left for the West, Pete would have built a fire out behind the house, but now Jayne found this chore was hers to perform. She had to first split the wood for the fire. With her father’s health failing, there were no longer any men to do this work. When she finally got the wood burning in the sheltered spot which kept the wind from blowing the smoke in her eyes, she had to drag the large wash kettles over by herself. Next, she began lugging buckets of water from the rain barrel to fill the kettles. And she prayed the rain barrel would have enough, or she would have to fetch the water from the creek.

  As washday used to be a multi-family chore, it had seemed easier back then. Carrying two buckets of water was a whole lot easier than the ten she had to carry now, and alternating which step of the washing process one was to do was now a thing of the past. Jayne missed her friends, their laughter and singing that used to go on, making washday a joyful occasion. Now it was just a chore. Her mother helped, but as her father grew weaker, he took up a lot of her mother’s time, and laughter became a rare commodity among the adults.

  She glanced at David Moses, who was contained in the small fenced in garden with Hope. From the sound of their laughter, they were having a wonderful time. I pray there will be some herbs left to harvest after they’re done in there. Jayne thought as she smiled while watching them play. Thank You, Lord, for the innocence of children

  .Jayne's mother joined her, bringing the baskets of soiled clothes out and sorting them into three piles. The first pile was of white items, and Jayne sighed as there seemed an enormous number of them that had various degrees of stains. She’d never realized before how many clothes a child could go through in a week’s time. Taking the bar of lye soap, Jayne quickly shaved it into the boiling water and stirred with a broomstick until the soap was completely dissolved. After each item was put in the tub of boiling water, Jayne stirred them before scooping them out one by one to another smaller basin where she scrubbed hard on the dirty spots using the washing board and more lye soap until the item was clean. When all the white items were returned to the tub, Jayne had to get the fire going once more.

  “Don’t forget to wrench them clothes good, Jayne,” Her mother reminded her as she took a pitcher of flour and water that she stirred smooth, thinning it with some clean boiling water to make starch.

  “Why do we say ‘wrench’ when we mean rinse?” Jayne asked, her face red from a combination of heat from the fire and exertion as she removed the wet items from the soapy water using the broomstick and transferred them to the boiling clean water in the other tub.

  “I presume it’s because Hannah always called it that.” Her mother smiled sadly as she began removing from the rinse water the items that were to be starched. After adding more wood to the fire, Jayne started on the pile of colored items, once again scrubbing at the assorted stains. Lastly, the pile of work clothes and rags came to
the tubs, and Jayne tried not to recognize the britches she had taken from the twins for her escapade of enlisting. She sighed with relief that she could now stop feeding the fire as she did not have to boil these clothes before rinsing them.

  She ran a hand through her short hair, which thankfully she no longer needed to cover up. The ragged clipped edges of her hair had begun to grow, and the short hair looked attractive around her face.

  Jayne hurried to finish, so she could help her mother with the starching. Once done, they dragged the big baskets over to the several clotheslines for hanging and drying. As her mother grabbed up the rags and spread them over the garden fence and laid the tea towels on the grass to bleach in the sun, Jayne hung the sheets and clothes on the line.

  “It is a beautiful day for drying.” She smiled at Jayne, who wrinkled her nose playfully.

  “But to dry we had to wash them first. Is there any day good for that?”

  “Well, if we didn’t wash them, how would you look to your beau?”

  “I do not have a suitor, Mother,” Jayne replied firmly. “And if I did, he would have to just like it.”

  “Really?” Her mother smiled again. “I think any young man would rather be with a young lady whose clothes have been washed properly.”

  “Don’t forget they must also be appropriately ‘wrenched!’”

  “Oh, Jayne! Stop it!” Her mother laughed before grabbing a small bucket and walking toward the washtub. “Shall I wash the porch with the soapy water while you water the plants with the left over rinse water?”

  “I’ll do the back porch, which really needs a good scrubbing.” Jayne took the bucket from her mother’s willing hands. Glancing back at the garden area, she grinned. “Maybe we should use the rinse water to wash up the two little ones who are so engrossed with weeding.”

  “Not a bad idea, but make sure the water has cooled down enough.” Her mother stretched and gave a groan as she picked up the empty laundry baskets. “The muscles sure are complaining today. Would you like me to help you with the babies?”

  “No, you go ahead inside,” Jayne commented before turning back toward the washbasins. “That way you can change out of your wet clothes and recomb your hair.”

  “And make the tea?” She asked as she tipped some of the rinse water down from the high side of the garden rows so the water trickled down between the plants. She wiped her hands on her wet apron. “I cannot wait to taste Widow Martin’s rhubarb jam on your bread.”

  “Mmmm. Me, too,” Jane agreed as she scooped a bucket of cooling wash water before heading to the back porch. Grabbing the scrub brush, she dropped to her knees and began cleaning the top step. Looking up as her mother climbed quickly over on the dirty side, Jane asked a question that was bothering her.

  “Mother, who will help Mrs. Johnstone with firewood this year? Last year when her husband went off to war, it seemed everyone helped with the harvesting of her fields and supplying her and the children with plenty of timber.” Jayne scrubbed harder as she continued. “Yet this year I noticed she and her daughters were the only ones bringing in the crops since her sons have joined in the fight, and there has been no wood piled by her house.”

  “Enthusiasm only lasts for a short while with some, my dear.” Jayne's mother shook her head as she began to enter the house. “But thank you for noticing her and her daughters’ need.”

  “Who will help them?” Jayne asked with frustration in her voice.

  “Well, dear,” Her mother said gently as she sadly smiled. “The person who has eyes to see and ears to hear, more than likely also has hands that work.”

  As the door shut behind her mother, Jayne scrubbed harder, asking God why she needed to be told a basic truth.

  She stopped as she realized the only truth there was. She’d thought she knew it all and had grown frustrated that she couldn’t save her brother or any of her male friends, as if her—only her—going off to war would have made a difference. God had seen this world’s need for a Savior and sent Jesus for everyone, including for her—for her! She could do nothing without Jesus. Her plans and schemes were all in vain if Jesus wasn’t in the center of them. All she needed was God. His hands had taken the nails for the world, and through belief in Him, she and whoever else could be saved. He’d done it because no one was able to save themselves.

  O, my Lord, forgive me. I have been doing things because it might win someone’s approval rather than working unto You, Lord. She’d tried to make people think she was no longer a child by doing the right things rather than doing them because they were the right thing to do. She did not need the approval of man but of God. A sense of peace came over her, and Jayne broke out in a song of praise to God as she returned to her work.

  With the desire to show God’s love in action, Jayne rallied the women together in the weeks and months that followed. Each woman felt the loss of their menfolk, and there was a feeling of helplessness in their conversations. Jayne used every opportunity to talk about the need to help each other.

  “It is part of our duty as citizens of these United States,” Jayne told them at a quilting bee. “Are we serving our country by supporting just our soldiers? Should we not also support their kinfolk that are left behind? What soldier can concentrate on his duties if the letters from home tell of his family’s distress? Were we not born for such a time as this? Did not God say in the Holy Scriptures He has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and of a sound mind? Do we not believe we can do all things through Him who strengthens us? Are we not known as the Ladies Aid Society? Our purpose is to be of aid, not only to the church but to the community in which we live. Are you willing to keep these states united? Then let us unite in keeping our neighbors healthy and whole!”

  To Jayne’s amazement, the women took up her challenge and began to seek out the families with the most need. Nothing was too menial for them to do and nothing too great for them not to attempt. What the women lacked in expertise, they made up with enthusiasm.

  Widow Martin had her porch repaired and painted, Mrs. Pauley had help harvesting the hay, and Mrs. Johnstone cried as she watched several of her friends cut down trees, split, haul, and stack the precious fuel by her back door. The women no longer showed off their ribbons and bows but rather their reddened faces and blistered hands. Those women who could not handle the hard physical labor chose to cook and clean the homes of the widows, giving of their time and comfort. There was a renewed spirit within the community as each lady sought out another family to help.

  The spirit did not wane as the months went on. Those who were helped, helped others, and working by their side, Jayne continually encouraged the women’s efforts. Many a night Jayne collapsed into bed sore but happy that God had shown her part of His plan for her.

  Within a short time, it seemed everyone wanted to join in the effort. The elderly men began teaching the young boys how to hunt and fish and repair wagons. The tannery gave away leftover strips of leather to any elderly woman. With a little ingenuity, the women made various baskets and bags to sell to the travelers on the barges. The new owners of the eatery took to offering free lunch on Sundays, a day they were “officially closed.” Many a family, low on funds, gathered there and enjoyed the nourishing food. If the unofficial patrons searched the source of the singing that came from behind the curtain, they would have found Jayne baking cakes and pies or washing a mound of dishes.

  “May I join in this endeavor, Miss Jayne?” Jeremiah asked one Sunday after services. “My father seems to be improving, and now that the fields are harvested, I wondered if I could be of assistance to you.”

  “Of course you may.” Jayne tried not to show how thrilled she was. “But as this is the Ladies Aid Society, the men who are helping are not out in the battlefield so to speak.”

  “I’m sure I will not be noticed if I am doing menial work along with the ot
hers.” He smiled, and Jayne fought hard to concentrate.

  “Oh, I believe you’d be noticed anywhere,” Jayne blurted out. His widening grin and pleased expression made her face burn with embarrassment. To keep him from thinking she was flirting, she frowned as she quickly remarked, “Maybe I should not accept your offer. You would be too much of a distraction, and the ladies would slack off in their work, thinking a man was there to do it.”

  “I would not cause any distractions.” Jeremiah was still smiling, but he bit his lip before he continued. “I’m sure you could find me something to do that would keep me far from the ladies’ sight. Possibly a little Bible study for the children? It would free the young mothers so they can help others, and the children would learn about Jesus.”

  Torn between rejecting his offer because he may become a distraction, to her, and accepting his presence for her own selfish reasons, Jayne just stared at him in silence.

  “Hope will enthusiastically help me by being the little mother, and she can teach them how to pray and sing hymns,” Jeremiah suggested. “I’m sure Mrs. Mead, the organist, would assist with music, and your mother and Mrs. Cindy would welcome a chance to assist with the meals for the children. Neither one is capable of doing all the physical labor the younger ladies do. Don’t you see it would really be a community effort that way? Please say yes, Miss Jayne.”

  The plea in his voice surprised her. Who am I to stop a person from helping? she thought as she reluctantly agreed.

  To her amazement, the ladies dropped off their children at the church as they went to do the assigned jobs without a backward glance at the preacher. In the afternoons, they would extend a brief thanks before heading home. Within the first week, Jeremiah was caring for over thirty youngsters and toddlers. Jayne found herself occasionally recruited by Hope to assist her father, such as when there was a need to make costumes for the children’s programs. Jayne happily complied, for it gave her extra time with Jeremiah.