Everything Girl

by Emily Mayer

  I motioned Gypsy forward and we set off side by side.

  34.

  Life was so weird. A couple of weeks ago if you had told me I’d be riding alongside a genuine cowboy on a trail in Montana, I would’ve said you were nuts. But here I was, riding next to Jack, feeling like there was absolutely no place else on earth I would rather be than in Pine Hollow, Montana. Except Paris.

  "What?" Jack finally asked, after about the twelfth time he caught me staring at him.

  I shook my head. "Nothing. I'm just happy to be here,” I answered genuinely. "Thanks for inviting me."

  He smiled at me, and I briefly wondered if this was the same man who, just a handful of days ago, I’d thought never did anything without a scowl.

  "I'm happy you're here, too."

  I just smiled like an idiot to prevent myself from spouting something ridiculous like ‘I'm happy that you’re happy I'm here.’ Even though I totally was.

  Jack, the consummate tour guide for the state of Montana, pointed out things he thought might interest me along the trail, until we reached a clearing in the trees. I looked around, realizing we were actually somewhere above the valley and we could see the river cutting through the mountains and fields below. I sucked in a sharp breath.

  "Oh wow” were the only words I could come up with, staring in awe at my surroundings. "Jack, this is amazing."

  "Not a bad place for a picnic." He swung down and secured his horse to a nearby tree branch. He walked toward us and took hold of Gypsy's reins, presumably so I could dismount.

  I looked down at him from my perch. "We’re eating here?"

  "Yeah, is that okay?"

  "Are you kidding? This place is amazing! We can eat every meal here." I executed a mediocre dismount and immediately reached for my phone. I snapped some pictures that probably could have been the next cover of a National Geographic magazine before sneaking a few shots of Jack securing Gypsy next to his horse. Those pictures could have been on the cover of a different type of magazine.

  He pulled a Thermos and two cups out of one saddle bag, then moved around to retrieve the lunch bag from the other side. I smiled as he walked toward me, already sure this was the best picnic I had ever been, and would probably ever be, on. I hobbled to join him on the smooth rock of the overlook. We sat next to each other, looking out over the valley below.

  Jack handed me a chicken salad sandwich from the bag and poured us each a cup of lemonade from the Thermos. I racked my brain trying to think up a topic of conversation that would be perfect for a picnic.

  "So, bull sperm." Yep, that was what came out of my mouth. I closed my eyes in horror for a moment. If my sandwich wasn't so good, I might have jumped off the cliff.

  Jack coughed a little, covering his mouth with his hand. He swallowed, clearing his throat. "Could you be more specific?"

  "I saw the contracts you've been working on with Rodney and Ben,” I rushed to clarify. "The ones for bull sperm."

  "Oh, right. You caught me a little off-guard there. Cole and I are working on expanding our breeding program, which involves a lot more legal paperwork than it used to when things were just done the old-fashioned way,” Jack explained, taking a bite of his sandwich.

  "The old-fashioned way?" I asked, watching his jaw work.

  "Just letting the bull loose in a pasture full of females and seeing what happens."

  "And now?" I prompted. I had done a little bit of research about new bull breeding programs when I’d stumbled across the paperwork, but I’d been short on time and was left with a lot of questions.

  "Now, bulls are selected based on pretty extensive genetic testing and their—" he paused, his cheeks turning red— "semen can be purchased and shipped all over the world. Bulls with superior genetics can go for upward of a hundred grand at auction."

  "That's insane! How do they get it out? You know what, please pretend I didn’t ask that question. I don't think I want to know." I was picturing little rooms with cow porn and a cup. "It seems like it's going well?"

  "Yeah, my dad and grandad were pretty old school, but I wanted to take our program in a different direction. I got interested in the new genomic testing after hearing a talk about it at an auction, and got involved through the American Angus Association. DNA testing helps take a lot of the risk out of breeding livestock. It's not our entire breeding program, but I want to make sure Pinehaven is keeping up. Cole and I are using some of the same techniques with the horse program here, too. The horse-breeding community was using this kind of science a long time ago, though. Mom always says ranchers are as stubborn as their herd."

  I listened to him talk about cattle and watched his entire being shift. It was obvious that ranching was his passion. I knew my face never looked like that when I talked about law. The law never inspired that kind of passion in me, and I was reluctantly starting to accept that it never would.

  "You like working with horses more than cattle, right?" I wanted to know every little thing that made him tick.

  "I love working with horses, but being a cattle rancher is in my blood, you know? I mean, it's not always glamorous, sleeping under the open sky and all that, but I love working out here. I don't know how Ben does what he does. How you do." He shot a self-deprecating smile my way. "I swear I didn't bring you out here to talk about bull sperm."

  Jackpot. Now we were getting to the good stuff.

  "Why did you bring me out here?" I dipped my toe into the uncharted waters with a mix of caution and hope.

  Jack turned to face me more fully, and I was once again trying to convince myself that I was really here having a picnic with this beautiful, surprising man in this equally beautiful, surprising place.

  "I didn't really have a plan. I just wanted to spend some time with you." His eyes held mine, trying to judge the impact of his words.

  I forced myself to maintain eye contact despite the pink creeping up my face. "I'm glad you asked me," I answered, offering him my own truth. "And I have something I wanted to talk to you about, actually."

  I was laying all my cards on the table. The new and slightly improved Evelyn Irene Mercer did not need anyone else to fight her battles.

  "What's on your mind?" Jack asked, sounding genuinely curious. Or maybe I was just hearing what I wanted to hear.

  "Okay, promise you won't get mad? I don’t think I could find my way back to Pinehaven alone. I wasn't paying very close attention to where we were going."

  "I promise." Jack smiled indulgently, making an X over his heart.

  I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. New and slightly improved Evelyn was hard on my cardiovascular system.

  "Let me help with King." I ripped the Band-Aid right off.

  Jack's eyes searched mine again. "Why do you want to help with King?"

  The lack of animosity in his voice bolstered my confidence even more. "Because I think I can."

  My answer was simple and honest, and I hoped it was enough. I hoped I was enough for Kingpin—for Jack. He looked out over the valley before turning back to look at me.

  "Okay." He said, just one word. Easy as pie.

  Almost before he finished his sentence, I was on my knees and throwing my arms around him. A oomph left his lips when my body collided with his. He hesitated for less than a second and then I felt his arms wrap around me.

  "Thank you! Thank you, Jack! You're not going to regret it, I promise.” I pulled back from our impromptu hug to smile up at him.

  His arms tightened, preventing me from completely breaking free of his embrace. His smile softened. "I'm sorry about the first time you asked." One hand moved to cup my face, thumb brushing across my cheek. "I should have at least heard you out."

  I couldn't resist leaning into his hand, just in case this was the only chance I ever got to feel his hands on my face.

  "So you didn’t mean what you said? About me just getting in the way and you not having time to babysit some city girl?” I said, just in case he had forgotten the exact wor
ds he’d used to shoot me down the first time.

  "Nah, I meant what I said." He laughed as both my hands came to rest on his chest and I shoved myself out of his arms with a huff. "I could have been nicer about it though, I guess."

  "You guess,” I grumbled, picking up what was left of my sandwich.

  "I admit I might be a little rusty at the whole apology thing," he said, the corner of his mouth tugging upward.

  "Well, you know what they say: Practice makes perfect."

  This picnic was definitely going better than I planned. I had gotten a really good hug that was reciprocated, a lingering face touch that I would likely daydream about for the rest of my natural life, Jack had agreed to let me help with King, and this chicken sandwich was one of the best things I had ever eaten.

  35.

  I wandered into the kitchen the next morning to find all five men huddled around the table, looking at a large piece of paper spread out across the surface. I moved closer, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever it was that had captured everyone's attention, and wedged my way in between Jack and Gabe.

  "What's going on?” I asked, peering up at Jack and then down at the paper, which looked like blueprints for a new house.

  Jack wrapped an arm around my waist, tucking me in closer to his side. I fought to control the blush I could feel starting to work its way up my chest. This felt dangerously close to a public display of affection.

  "It's a goat enclosure," he answered, pointing to the structure with a pencil. His voice sounded resigned.

  "A what, now?" I leaned forward to get a closer look at the drawing, as if I might be able to understand the plans if I just looked a little closer.

  "Mom wants to rescue a bunch of pygmy goats,” Ben supplied, looking a little more amused than everyone else in the room.

  "So, the most useless kind of useless animal,” Jack added.

  "I like goat cheese. A lot." I felt the inexplicable need to offer up some defense on behalf of the poor creatures.

  "Do you want to build them a shelter, then? Because Mary has some very specific requirements." Gabe shot me a questioning look that placed him firmly in the anti-tiny-goat camp.

  "No, I don’t. I also don't think I could build anything. When are the little nuggets coming home?"

  "Tomorrow,” Cole said, his mouth tugged into a frown.

  "Wow. Well, good luck with all this." I motioned to the paper with my hand, then let Ben know I was going to head to the office to get some work done on the proposal. Jack tugged me a little closer, catching me slightly off-guard. His fingers gently squeezed my hip, causing a chain reaction of squeezing in my stomach region and lower.

  "We need to head out, too. See if we can get this lumber cut on short notice." Jack nodded at Gabe.

  "Fingers crossed we can't." Gabe held up one hand with his middle finger crossed over his pointer.

  "Man, you guys are really down on the tiny goats. I think they’re going to be a great addition!" I meant it, too. Pygmy goats were adorable. I was already looking forward to sending videos to Celeste of the little nuggets hopping around, and Letty would absolutely lose her mind when she saw them.

  Jack leaned down and planted a kiss on my head, rendering me momentarily stunned. "I'll see you later."

  Kiss kiss kiss pinged around in my brain. His hand gave one last squeeze, obliterating the few brain cells I had left. I stood like a statue, “Girl Whose Brain Died by Kiss.” My heart was pounding so fast in my chest that there was a real chance my coffee was now unnecessary.

  "Okay yeah bye,” I finally managed on a quick exhale. I shot furtive glances around the table to see if everyone else was as weirded out by that kiss as I was. I mean, it was the best head-kiss of my life and I definitely wanted more; I wanted to collect them like some people collect stamps. I just hadn't expected our second head-kiss to be in front of a group of people, especially when I had zero clue what we were doing. I darted out of the room before any of the remaining men could ask me any questions. I had no answers to give, and enough of my own questions to keep me plenty busy. Does he kiss all his lady friends on the head? I remembered him kissing Margot the night I met her, but he hadn't seen her in a while. I saw him every day! That made a lot of difference. And what did a girl have to do around here to get a kiss on the mouth?

  I sank into the desk chair, mind still racing a little, and pulled up my inbox. My stomach let out an angry growl and I realized I forgotten to grab a muffin on my way out of the kitchen. Jack's kiss was so mind-blowing I actually forgot about food. If I ever did get that elusive full kiss, I’d probably be comatose. I grabbed my phone and sent Ben a text, begging him to drop off a muffin before he headed out to get in everyone's way building the goat house. I pictured being him just slightly handier than I was, in the sense that he could afford to hire someone else to build things. I was relegated to the least shady people I could find on Craigslist or begging my landlord.

  The food situation handled, I pulled up Anna's latest email, Anna and Hilari were performing routine checks on my apartment to make sure I didn't have to evict dust bunnies the size of watermelons when I got home, or come back to find my television gone, and giving me all the important updates on life back in Chicago. Mainly hot-button issues, like Susan's reign of terror in the accounting department, which had started two months ago when she’d tried to give up smoking; whether my weird downstairs neighbor was trying to seduce the mailman (she was, everyone in our building knew it); and confirming their growing suspicion that the new "crazy-hot" spin instructor was gay. I clicked reply and watched the little dash blink while my fingers hovered above the keyboard trying to decide where to start.

  Hey Ladies!

  I miss you both! I’m sorry to hear that Paul’s gay, but let's be real, we all saw this coming. Sorry for your loss, Hil. RIP Paul Jr., you were never meant to be, but I’m sure you would have gotten your father's drool-worthy pectorals and perfect bubble butt. Word on the street is that someone filed multiple complaints against Susan with HR for creating a hostile work environment, but you didn't hear it from me.

  I added a couple of winky face emojis, because it just felt right.

  In Montana news, something is happening with Jack. More specifically with me and Jack. I’m not exactly sure what that something is, though. I think we went on a date yesterday, but it's all pretty unclear, since the word date was never actually used. This morning there were two public displays of affection! Two! Okay, so, when I type this out, it sounds like I’m just a crazy person, but I swear something has changed. Ugh, I wish I could just pass him a note that says "Do you like me? Circle yes or no." Also, we’re getting pygmy goats! There will be a photoshoot.

  Evie

  After I hit send, it dawned on me that I had used "we" instead of "they" or "Pinehaven." Even more startling, I’d meant it. This place was carving out a bigger and bigger piece of my heart with each passing day, and I had no idea how to go about getting it back. More importantly, it was becoming painfully clear that I didn't really want it back.

  36.

  There were people who actually enjoyed doing legal research, and no one would ever convince me that those were not the same people who never looked appropriately horrified when people discussed serial killers. I had been delving deep into the legal research database for hours, and was at the point where I was daydreaming about exciting things I would rather be doing, like getting a root canal or a Brazilian wax.

  Ben had "taken a break" from helping with the construction of the goat house to join me in the office. Pretty sure he’d been voted off the island, but I wasn't going to kick the guy when he was down and also carrying an extra plate of lunch with him. I was feeling extra generous after my stomach was full, and let Ben put on his playlist. Less than an hour later, I was regretting my generosity and feeling restless.

  Had I spent an embarrassing amount of time replaying the kitchen kiss in my head? Yes. Had I spent an even longer amount of time coming up with ways to trick Jack i
nto kissing me on the lips? Also yes. Did I have to cross my legs and shift awkwardly in my seat, trying to relieve some of the friction when my plotting turned into some steamy fantasies? God, yessssss.

  You’d think the fact that his brother was sitting mere feet away from me would have acted like a cold bucket of water, but it really, really didn't. Furthermore, this was mostly Ben's fault for choosing a throwback playlist featuring all the hits from when I had been a teen. It was clearly triggering all those long- dormant, now- raging hormones.

  I closed my eyes and stretched my arms toward the ceiling, wishing I could make a latte magically appear. Then I heard footsteps getting louder and louder out in the hall. I opened my eyes to find Jack standing in the doorway, holding two to-go cups, and a little pink bag I recognized from our trip to Sweetheart's. I rubbed my eyes, convinced I had finally snapped and was hallucinating. When I opened my eyes, Jack was standing in front of me with a curious look on his face, like he didn't know quite what to make of me.

  "Hi," I said, gazing up at him from where I sat. "I thought I was seeing things."

  He chuckled, and then this wonderful, sweet man said the most beautiful thing: "I brought you a latte. There's a brownie in there, too."

  I love you! "Thank you, Jack! This is amazing. I was literally just wishing I could make a latte appear."

  "You're welcome. I thought you might actually kill me if I didn't bring you back one." He shot me a little wink that made me momentarily forget my own name. "Ben, I hope you still like Americanos."

  "I like anything with caffeine in it right now,” Ben said through a yawn, taking the cup from Jack's hand. "Though I am a little offended that you know Evelyn's order and had to guess about mine."

  "Yeah, she's a hell of a lot prettier than you."

  What? What?! He thinks I’m pretty!

  Jack turned his grin my way. I sat in my chair with my mouth gaping, doing a pretty good impression of a deer in the headlights. I was picturing a billboard with the words Jack Danver Thinks Evelyn Mercer Is Pretty in some prime real estate located in downtown Chicago—something understated, that could be seen from space—when Jack swooped down and placed a kiss on my cheek. The cheek! So much closer to where I really wanted to feel his lips.