Cross Crease (On The Edge Book 3)

by Elizabeth Hartey

  “Christ, Dalt. I’m so in love with Heaven. The last thing I want to do is hurt her. I was going to ask her to move in with me. But now…Alison is keeping the baby. I have to stand by her.”

  We both glance up the stairs when we hear mumbled voices coming from somewhere upstairs. A few loud ‘no’s’ echo down the stairs.’ I’m sure it’s Pippa telling Nik she doesn’t want to see me.

  “You don’t have to marry her just because she’s having a baby, dude.” Dalt shakes his head. “I mean…if you don’t love her,” he clarifies, because Nik had his baby before they were married. The difference in their situation was Dalt and Nik were madly in love. They had a few minor obstacles to kick to the curb before finding their happy ever after.

  “That’s what Batt said too. But I’m having a kid with her, man. I won’t abandon the kid, be an absentee shit father.”

  “Then I don’t know what to tell you, bro. Except this is one serious cluster fuck.”

  “You think?”

  His astute information is interrupted when Nik comes halfway down the stairs and says, “Okay, dickhead. You can come up. But if you say one word to upset her more than she already is I’m throwing your ass off the balcony—the second story balcony. Understood?”

  “Completely.’

  Just then, Chloe, Nik and Dalt’s daughter, comes racing into the foyer and circles her little arms around my legs.

  “Hey, sweetheart.” I bend down to give her a hug.

  She places her tiny hand on my face. “Uncew Woof, ahw you heaw to wescoo Aunt Heaben? She’s cwyin’. Ahw you hul pwince?” I look up at Dalt because I haven’t learned how to decipher Chloe’s toddler speech, yet.

  “She wants to know if you’re here to rescue Aunt Heaven…if you’re her…uh…prince.” Dalt scratches his neck.

  “No, honey. Uncle Wolfe is no prince,” Nik answers from the stairs.

  She’s got that right. “No, Chloe. I’m not here to rescue Aunt Heaven because she doesn’t need rescuing. Girls don’t need men or princes to rescue them. They’re strong enough to take care of themselves.”

  “Dey ahw?” she asks in wide-eyed wonder.

  “Yes. They are.” I give her an assured smile. As long as they stay away from assholes like me who decimate their hearts and all trust in humanity.

  She ponders my statement for a moment before declaring, “Otay. Good.”

  “Come on, Chlo.” Dalt reaches his hand out. “Let’s go have a snack.”

  “You wanta snack too, Uncew Woof?”

  “Not right now. Thanks, Chlo. Maybe later.”

  “Otay.” She wraps her arms around my neck and says in a loud whisper, “I wuv you, Uncew Woof. Don’t be sad.” And then she latches onto her dad’s hand and walks away. I swallow past the lump forming in my throat.

  “You break their hearts at every age, huh, asshole?” Nik sneers when I stop at the step below her, waiting for her to give me directions to the guest room Heaven’s in.

  “Give me a break, Nik. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

  “Then I guess you should have kept your dick in your pants, huh?” I pinch my eyes shut and grimace at her words, which are like a punch straight to the gut.

  “Aw. Don’t tell me I hurt the big bad Wolfe’s feelings? Impossible. You have to have a heart to have feelings.” She nearly spits the words at me. “Third door on the left.”

  I have a heart. I know I do because just like the Tin Man, I can feel it breaking. But my broken heart doesn’t matter, not to Nik or me. The only thing that matters is Heaven, and what I’ve done to her.

  I continue up the stairs. “Don’t forget what I said, dickhead,” she calls to my back. “If I hear one sob I’m throwing your ass over the balcony.”

  ***

  When I reach the third door on the left, my hands shake as I give a tentative knock. As much as I want to see Heaven, I’m hesitant. One, because I’ve fucked up our life together. And two, I’m going to want to hold her and kiss her and never let go. But that can’t happen now.

  There’s no answer, no sound in the room. I check to make sure I counted the doors correctly since this hallway is about the same length as the corridor in the Ramanathaswamy Temple. No wonder everyone comes here to hang out on holidays. Dalt and Nik own a palacea Newport Beach palace.

  I wanted to give all this and more to Pip, give her everything and anything she wanted. While I’m brooding over the sad fact I’ll never be able to share anything with her, never have a future with her, now, the bedroom door clicks open.

  Pip opens it just enough to peer out. Her face is splotched red, and her eyes are puffy and swollen. Fuck. I did this to her. But even though she looks like she’s been crying for days, she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I have to stop myself from pushing the door open and taking her in my arms.

  “What are you doing here?” Her voice is quiet, flat. As if someone has sucked the life right out of her.

  “Can I come in?” I say softly, afraid if I speak too loudly, she’ll shatter into a million broken pieces.

  She doesn’t say a word, but walks away from the door, leaving it open. I assume it means I’m not welcome, but I can come in. I walk in and hesitate for a moment, not sure if I should close the door or leave it open.

  “Close the door,” Pip makes the decision for me. She’s standing at a large window which takes up almost the whole wall and apparently looks out over the ocean. She continues to stare out the window, giving me her back.

  “I wanted to see you.”

  “Why?” she asks, her breath fogging the window.

  I walk toward her but stop before getting close enough to touch her. I’ve lost all right to touch her.

  “I…I’m sorry, Pip. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

  “You played horribly the other night,” she states, ignoring my apology. Her voice is robotic, nothing like my vivacious Pippa. But then, she’s not my anything anymore.

  “I know. I had a lot on my mind.”

  “Hmm. I suppose so.”

  “Listen, Pip. I know I’ve made a lot of stupid mistakes. Recently, the most stupid. But I want you to know I meant every word I said to you. Every word was the truth. I love you. I’m in love with you. Always. I…” She turns and begins walking toward me. My breath hitches and I can’t finish my sentence. When she stops, just inches from me, my heart races. Every cell in my body is crying out to kiss her. I can almost taste her sweet lips on mine.

  I fist my hands at my sides waiting for her to make the first move. And then she does. It happens so fast I don’t see it coming. She swings her arm around and slaps me with such force I’m knocked back a step. Rubbing my jaw and shaking my head, I take a moment to clear my vision and process what she’s saying.

  “Don’t! I can’t listen to any more of your lies,” she seethes.

  I stand frozen in place, rubbing my stinging cheek. I deserve much worse from her for what I’ve done. But I’ve never lied to Pip. I never would. Although, I’m sure, telling her would be little conciliation since I managed to knock up another chick.

  “It’s not a lie. I love you with all my heart,” I whisper.

  “You love me with all your heart, but you’re marrying the girl you got pregnant.” She shoves both hands against my chest, and I take another step back.

  “I swear to God, I don’t know how it happened.” I run my hands back through my hair and squeeze hoping I can squash my idiotic cranium between my palms.

  “What do you mean, you don’t know how?” she yells and shoves me again. “How could you do this? How could you do this?” She’s crying as she keeps pummeling my chest and then she collapses into my arms and sobs into my shirt.

  I wrap my arms around her and stroke her hair. “I’m sorry, Pip. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do. I love you so much but…I can’t abandon my kid.”

  She continues to sob and tremble, her face pressed into my chest while I try to soothe her with useless comforting words. I
t doesn’t matter how many times I tell her I love her. My actions have destroyed her, have destroyed us.

  After a moment, she tilts her head back and looks up me. All I see in her beautiful tear-filled eyes is anguish. The anguish and pain I put there. My God. What have I done to her?

  But then she pushes away from me, swipes her hand under her nose, and says, “I’m good. You can go.”

  “Wh…what do you mean?”

  “I’ve had a few days to think about this. When I saw Alison sitting behind you at the game, it felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck. But after I allowed myself time to think I realized some things.”

  “Shit, Pip. I didn’t invite her to the game. She just showed up to tell me…”

  “It doesn’t matter.” It’s unsettling how flat and emotionless her voice has become. “I chose to be your friend, but I didn’t choose to fall in love with you. From the first moment I saw you, all those years ago, it seemed to be…beyond my control. And ever since, I’ve tried to convince you to love me in return, to show you, you deserved to be loved. I poured my heart out to you because I didn’t think or care about my happy ending, I only cared about my happy journey with you. When the journey hurt, sometimes, I let it. I lived with the occasional pain if that’s what it took to be with you because somewhere along the way I forgot I deserved to be loved too. I was worth more than rejection, more than heartbreak.”

  “Pip, please. I…”

  “You broke my heart again. But I’ve let you tear my heart in two so many times I’ve lost count.” She tilts her head as if she’s actually trying to remember how many times I’ve broken her heart. “And every time it healed, it would beat for you all over again. And I’d think, ‘this is enough for now, because if I keep loving him he’ll see and he’ll know this is right.’

  “I guess that was the problem all along. It’s not right. We’re just not meant to be together. For you, this was a tricky, complicated relationship and for me, it was…just love. But I’ll never let you do this to me again because I have a good heart and I won’t let you break it ever again.”

  Every word is an ice pick plunging into my heart. She’s right about everything. I should have told her I loved her a long time ago. I was supposed to make her happy, take care of her, love her—always. Instead, I’ve siphoned away her joy, left her empty and broken.

  “It’s funny, really. Something good has come from all this heartache.” She forces a joyless smile.

  “I only know I love you and there’s nothing good about any of this.” I run my fingers back through my hair.

  “Oh, but there is. You’ve finally made me realize a very important thing. I am worth it. I deserve to be loved completely, without any uncertainty.” She turns and walks toward the door.

  “Pip, please forgive me.” This can’t be happening. I can’t be losing the best person I’ve ever known, the only woman I will ever love. I swipe the tears off my face, and it occurs to me she’s stopped crying. It’s as if someone flipped a switch and a different Pippa took her place, a cold, lifeless version.

  “I can’t do this anymore. It’s too much. I’ll probably miss you forever. But I’m going to have to try to live without you. I was young, but I had a life before you and I will definitely have one after you. One of these days you won’t be the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of before I fall asleep.”

  My shock and confusion must be written all over my face. She can’t believe anything good has come from this situation or our relationship has only been heartache.

  “It’s not so surprising. I’ve been drowning in your uncertainty for too long. Now, at least, our future or our non-future is certain. I know this is going to hurt for a long time. But I’ll get over it, eventually.” She opens the door and stands there holding the doorknob.

  I stare at her, dumbfounded. I came here to talk but I’m speechless. I can’t beg her forgiveness when I’m walking out of here and marrying another woman. I don’t have the right to ask for her continued friendship when I’ve betrayed her unremitting loyalty. When I don’t make a move toward the door, Pip reiterates her dismissal. “Good-bye, D. Please don’t call me or text me anymore. Please let me be strong enough to get over you. If you really do love me…let me go.”

  Chapter Thirty-five

  Wolfe

  My intercom buzzes with a call from the reception desk. “Fuck off.” I’m not interested in interacting with humans. I can’t even stand my own company as I sit at my absurdly long kitchen island and polish off my third beer.

  The box buzzes again. “I said, fuck off!” I shout to the inanimate object on the wall. But the dumbass at the front desk apparently can’t hear me through the building’s cement and steel structure and buzzes again.

  “Okay, asshole. I’m coming. No Christmas bonus for you this year,” I mumble and stomp to the intercom. “What?” I push a button and yell into the box.

  “You have a visitor, Mr. Wolfe,” Tony’s voice booms through the steel speaker. He’s a good guy and a diligent doorman. But at the moment, a major pain in my ass.

  “I’m not home,” I snarl.

  “It’s Mr. Andersen, sir. He says it’s an emergency.” Dak? Shit. Did something happen to Heaven? Before I have a chance to answer, I hear a scuffling sound and another familiar voice booms from the speaker.

  “I’m coming up one way or another, asshole. Give this guy the green light and save him some trouble.” Dak has obviously taken the phone receiver from Tony.

  It occurs to me if something had happened to Heaven, I would be the last person Dak would notify. He’s come here to have it out about what’s gone down between Pip and me. I have to face him sooner or later, may as well be sooner. He deserves an explanation as to why I betrayed him and his sister.

  “It’s okay, Tony. Let him come up.”

  “Are you sure, sir?” I can hear the apprehension in Tony’s voice. Dak must be fuming. “Yeah, Tony. It’s fine.”

  Two minutes later, it sounds like my door is about to be pounded off its hinges. Taking a deep breath, I open the door but before I have time to open my mouth to greet my buddy—ah, my ex-buddy—I’m knocked on my ass. You know those little birds that fly around a cartoon character’s head when he’s been pummeled? Well, I can now attest to them being real.

  “You motherfucking, cocksucking asshole!”

  “Hey, Andersen.” I rub my jaw and greet him from my current position on the floor where I’m lying on my back.

  “I told you to stay away from my sister. Didn’t I?” He walks in and stands over me.

  “I’m sorry. I…”

  “Get up, you asshole, so I can knock you down again,” he growls.

  I push myself up and hold my hands out to keep him at arm’s distance.

  “I know you’re angry, dude, and I get…” I don’t have a chance to finish my sentence before he clocks me again with a right hook. I stumble back but manage to stay on my feet this time.

  “Listen, bro.” He doesn’t listen. Instead, he lands an uppercut straight to my chin.

  “Don’t call me bro, shithead. I’m not your bro anymore.” Okay. I get it. He’s pissed off. I deserve his wrath but I need him to stop punching, or I won’t be able to put together a coherent thought.

  “Bro…I…I mean, Andersen, I deserve this and much more, but if you punch me one more time I’m going to have to punch you back, and I don’t want to do that. I want to explain…”

  The fucker punches me again. “You don’t need to explain, dickhead.” But I keep my hands fisted at my sides to prevent myself from retaliating. He has every right to pummel me into oblivion.

  “What’s to explain? You fucked my sister and then dumped her. I knew you were a whoring scumbag, but I thought you at least had the decency not to treat Heaven in your shitty whoring way.” He takes a step toward me but I back up to keep him from landing another punch.

  “Nah, man. You don’t understand…”

  “Oh, I underst
and. I understand my naïve, caring sister has loved you unconditionally for years and it still wasn’t enough to keep you from treating her like garbage.” He takes another swing but I duck, and his arm sweeps the air over my head.

  “I love her too, goddammit!” I yell. “If you would just let me get a word in here.”

  “Ha. Right. You love her. So, you take her virginity and then go out and fuck some other chick and get her pregnant. Pretty shitty way to love someone.” Dak glowers at me like he’s getting ready to rip my head off.

  But then he runs his hand over his hair and says quietly, “She’s destroyed, dude. She won’t come out of her room, won’t eat anything, won’t stop crying. Christ. I had to remind her to breathe when she was telling me what happened. She was a virgin, for fuck’s sake. How could you do this to her? She’s done nothing but love you since she was a kid.”

  “I know she has and I’ve loved her…wait. What are you talking about? I know I’m a pig, but Heaven wasn’t a virgin when we slept together. She had already been with the douchebag doctor you fixed her up with. She slept with him when they stayed at the resort for your wedding.”

  “You’re an even bigger dumbass than I thought you were.” Dak shakes his head.

  “Thanks for the commentary, dude. But what the fuck are you talking about?”

  “She never slept with Littner. It was you she slept with at the wedding, you fucking idiot.”

  “What? No. I had way too much bourbon but…I was dreaming about Pip and…Alison…she came to my room the next morning, and…she said it was her.” He can’t be right. He must have misunderstood Pip.

  “Pip would have said something. She would’ve told me.” Right? “I wouldn’t…” But then I envision Heaven’s face flushed with longing and I hear my own words. ‘I think I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.’ Fuck me!

  “Come on, fucktard. You take a woman’s virginity, and the next morning, you not only forget, but you think it was some other woman. You think Heaven was going to hang around and explain it to you? I don’t even know why she took your sorry ass back afterward. And then to top it all off, you go fuck the other chick and…”