Finding Ava

by Jennifer Loren

  “There is no telling what could have happened to that girl by then.” I said shocked by her thoughtless attitude.

  “I don’t care … I was so scared something was going to happen to you.” She says crying hysterically.

  I pull her into my arms and kiss her, “I’m okay, everything is okay now. And I’m sorry I worried you, okay?” She nods pitifully. “Okay, now am I allowed back in the bed or am I still in the doghouse?” She shrugs causing me to laugh at her. “Well it’s almost …,” I said looking at my empty wrist. “Shit, I must have dropped my watch at her place. I guess I will have to call and ask her about it tomorrow.” Rebecca grips me harder, crying even more hysterically, so I pick her up and carry her to bed.

  ~

  “Sean!” Oh, fuck my head. Rebecca hovers over me as I try to hide under my pillow. “Sean the guy downstairs made advances towards me. He was disgusting.” I roll away from her hoping she will go away. “So are you going to do something?” She grabs my face, jerking it towards her abused expression.

  “What would you like for me to do?” I said as she crosses her arms with a whimper. “What did he say to you?” I hope it is not too serious so I don’t have to go and kick this guy’s ass because I really am tired.

  “He said he liked my outfit and then stared at me … hard.” She said searching for the tears. Not even close to serious.

  “That’s flirting, not anything serious. Now leave me alone Rebecca, I’m tired.”

  “Don’t you ever get jealous?”

  “No, now go away.” I said rolling away from her.

  “You are so frustrating,” She said sitting impatiently waiting for me to apologize as she vibrates the bed with her usual hyperventilating hysterics. “Funny how some guy nearly attacks me, could have killed me and nothing from you but as soon as that whore next door cries - you go running.” I sit up to say something to her but as soon as I see her stick her chin out at me, I know it is useless, so I lie back down and turn away from her again. “I can’t believe you are treating me this way and after I was nice enough to go and get your watch for you.” She said laying my watch on the night table in front of me.

  “Hannah’s home, I thought she was staying with friends for a few days?” I asked confused.

  “No, she is not home! I used the key she gave me in case she locked herself out. Why! Why are you so concerned about her?” Rebecca runs off crying and making sure to slam every door on her way out of the apartment. I don’t know what I said this time but at least it made her leave so I can have some quiet.

  ~

  It was only a few days ago that I auditioned for a role that may help jump-start my career. I knew it was a long shot but to my surprise, I got it and as soon as I get off the phone with the news, I rush home to tell Rebecca. “I got the part.” I said blasting through our apartment door.

  Her eyes widen as she jumps into my arms, “really? Are you sure?” I nod at her even wider smile. “Oh Sean this is wonderful, I can’t believe it.”

  “I know. I hoped for something but I never thought …”

  “So we are going to California?” She asked as my smile diminishes. “You are taking me with you aren’t you?”

  “You know we can’t afford that right now and I won’t have time to be with you anyway. I’m going to stay with my brother.” Rebecca pushes me away, crossing her arms. “Don’t be mad. What do you want me to do?”

  “Take me with you.” I shake my head. “Sean you know I have always wanted to move California, it could help my career too, and we can make so much more money.” Rebecca said pulling me sweetly into her arms. “Baby please, it would be a chance for us to make all of our dreams come true.”

  “I would love to Rebecca but it doesn’t change the fact that we can’t afford it.”

  “We could if you would just ask your mother or even your brother for the money.”

  I pull away from her, wondering if I was wrong about her. “No.” I said firmly to her already pouting figure. “We’ve talked about this before and I’m not going to again.”

  “Sean, you’re being ridiculous about this. Your brother is on the cover of almost every magazine there is and your mother still has pull to help me too. If you are not going to ask for money then can you at least get them to mention me for a part? At least ask Ethan to get me an audition for that movie he is doing here in New York.”

  I stare at her as she begins teasing me, “I’ll think about it.” I said to her instant smile. She knows that I have plans to meet up with Ethan after his flight gets in tonight but unfortunately for her, I change our plans and meet him at Mom’s so Rebecca will surely not want to come with me.

  ~

  “Sean have you looked over these financial reports?” Ethan asked.

  “I have, have you?” I asked in retaliation as he rolls his eyes at me.

  “So the new role is good?”

  “Yes, I am really excited about it. Rebecca’s not too happy about me going to California to film though.”

  “I told you women only make things complicated when they don’t have to be.”

  “Right.” Ethan’s approach to women is keep your distance, they only screw things up. “By the way, have you talked to Mom?” I asked watching him for any sign of misery.

  “Some. Why?”

  “No reason.” I said as our mother on cue walks in greeting us both with a kiss on the cheek.

  “Sean said you wanted to talk to me about something?”

  Mother does not even bother to look my way, “yes, you know I have been seeing this physical therapist since my fall at the gym.”

  “I told you Mom that place is not managed well. They let people run around out of the pool and they never clean it up. I’m surprised more people haven’t fallen.”

  “Ethan, I have changed gyms so no need to worry anymore. Sean went with me and approved it himself.” I nod at Ethan as he questions her truth. He even bosses her around. Neither one of them realize how much alike they are. “Anyway, I was hoping while you are home you can take me to some of my appointments.”

  “Sean can do that, Mom.” Ethan snaps at her.

  “I offered, but apparently I’m not … suitable.” Ethan looks at me amused.

  “Sean don’t be ridiculous, I would simply like for your brother to meet my therapist.”

  “Why?” Ethan said apprehensively.

  “Well because I think it’s important for you to take an interest in your Mother’s life.” Mom begins to work up a tearful disappointment. “After all that time I spent helping you and now I want to brag about you and show you off to some of my new friends and you want to question me like I’m some kind of monster. I don’t understand how you can dismiss me like this.” I hold my breath trying to keep from laughing hysterically as she sniffles into a folded Kleenex from her pocket.

  Ethan surrendering, throws his hands up in the air. “Holy …, fine mother … I will take you.”

  “Wonderful, I can’t wait for you to meet Abbey,” she said running out of the room.

  “What just happened here?” I smile innocently as Ethan looks at me puzzled. “She’s setting me up?” I nod. “Shit.”

  “Come on take me out to dinner, you’ll feel better. There is this great little Italian place I have wanted to try.” I put my arm around his shoulder smiling sheepishly as I guide him out the door.

  “It better be good.” Ethan said with a scowl.

  “If not you can buy me some drinks to get the taste out of our mouths.” I said smirking at Ethan’s typical look of disapproval.

  As we pull up to the valet of the restaurant, I see someone standing nearby as if she is trying to smell the billowing panels to the entry of the restaurant. I start to laugh at her until I hear the screaming mob coming after Ethan. I watch as the poor girl turns in their direction and immediately freezes in place waiting for them to trample over her. Running to her, I reach out quickly, pulling her safely out of the way while the restaurant takes Ethan in and af
ter giving up trying to follow him, the mob vanishes. Those crazy girls have been following him around since he got back to New York. I don’t know how they know where to go. Looking down at the bundled girl in my arms, I am only able to make out eyelashes and take in her invigorating scent.

  “You okay?” I asked.

  “What?” She responds seemingly dazed.

  I huff a slight laugh. “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Yes, I think so,” she said lifting her head and looking at me with the most beautiful sapphire blue eyes, sending my heart racing against my chest.

  “What the hell happened?” A man coming out of nowhere said while flailing his arms at the girl. I let go of her and she leaves me to pick up her things. Bending down to help, I find an odd book and hand it to her watching her barely visible skin turn a charming pink.

  “Thank you … oh this was given to me as a joke,” she said with a southern sweet voice that arouses me.

  “Well you shouldn’t screw your boss, it makes it hard to get any work done.” I said leaning in close to her, taking in her scent one more time and whisper, “you’re welcome by the way.”

  “So what happened?” Her boyfriend persists as I glance back at the annoyance.

  “I’m afraid she was nearly crushed by my brother’s stalking fans,” I said staring into her stunning eyes.

  “Sean, what are you doing, let’s go eat?” Ethan yelled impatiently.

  “You nearly got this poor girl crushed Ethan, give me a minute to make sure she is alright at least.” I sigh barely making out the impression of a smile through her scarf. “Sorry he is a little stressed lately, I promise he’s not always an asshole.” She shakes her head, I think, it’s hard to tell under all that fabric, she moves but it doesn’t and it is cute as hell. “Well it looks like you are okay so I better get back to my brother before the veins in his head explode.”

  “Bye.” She said so sweetly that I can’t help smile.

  “Try to stay clear of crazy mobs.” I said and turn to walk back towards the restaurant but before I walk in I look back to see her blue eyes smiling back at me, a smile that I know will be embedded in my memory forever.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Ethan asked holding his hands up in the air.

  “Shut up, I’m coming.”

  Once I sit down at the table Ethan begins glaring at me, “What’s wrong with you?”

  “I’m thinking about that girl.”

  “What girl?”

  “Shit Ethan, the girl I was just talking too. Are you going senile or something?”

  “Sorry, I’m hungry,” Ethan said ordering his food and sitting back with a sigh, “so what about this girl?”

  “I don’t know, I wanted to invite her to eat with us.”

  “So go ask her.”

  “I can’t she already walked off with her boyfriend.”

  “She was with her boyfriend while you were flirting with her?” I huff at him pushing myself back from the table. “I’m just asking.”

  “Well stop,” I said ignoring his rolling eyes.

  “I don’t understand why you are so dreamy-eyed over a girl you don’t even know, who has a boyfriend and I thought you had a girlfriend?”

  “I don’t know Ethan, I can’t explain it.”

  “You are so much like Dad.” Ethan kicks my chair jarring me to attention. “That’s exactly what Dad said happened when he met Mom.”

  I narrow my eyes at him, “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” I said watching Ethan shrug before moving on to other issues. I didn’t even ask her name. Idiot. Ethan’s nonstop persistence about how I should live my life is starting to irk me. Before I say something unnecessarily rude to him, I walk outside hoping to ease my tension and hoping that she is waiting nearby. Standing outside, staring in the direction she left, I feel like an idiot. Of course, she wasn’t going to stand out here and wait for me. Who does that? After a cold wind sends chills to my spine, I turn to go back inside but something sparkling from the ground catches my eye. I pick up a chain with a small locket dangling delicately from it. The chain is broken but the locket is fine and the pictures inside are old but undamaged. The sweet pictures of the happy couple inside and what I assume is their baby on the other is appealing to me and for reasons I don’t understand I put it in my pocket. It is pretty, even though now broken for some reason it makes me feel better. For the rest of the night, I try to get the bundled girl out of my mind. Pretending that my newly found locket is hers, I will make sure to keep it hidden from Rebecca.

  ~

  When it comes time to leave for California, I finish packing and begin searching for the locket I hid.

  “What are you looking for?” Rebecca said entering the room with attitude.

  “Damn it Rebecca! Give it back and you better have not done anything to it.”

  “HERE, here is your stupid necklace! It is old and ugly anyway. I hope your girlfriend loves it.”

  I take the locket from her sighing, “I found it, and I didn’t buy it for anyone and I don’t plan on giving it to anyone.”

  “Then why do you have it?” She said crossing her arms and pursing her lips.

  Fuck it. “I don’t know! Here I will throw it away - does that make you happy?” I toss the locket into the trash waiting for her forced smile. “I have to go.” I grab the trash too, trying to look unbothered by the gleaming locket on top. “I might as well dump this for you on my way out.”

  “You will call me every day, right?”

  “I don’t think I am going to have time to call you every day but I will call you as much as I can.” I said grabbing my bags and heading towards the door.

  “I love you.” She said cocking her head to one side.

  “I love you too.” I forced out of my mouth, kissing her impatiently.

  “Sean, wait one second.” I watch her frantically gathering items and returning quickly with a wide smile before taking the trash for my hand. Rebecca proceeds to dump out a container of yogurt, pasta sauce and some old milk before finally cracking some eggs on top of the trash. “That should do it, here you go. Make sure to tie it up nice and tight, I would hate for that mess to dump out.” I take the trash from her hand and slam the door behind me.

  ~

  The time away from Rebecca, seems to have been good for us both. During our recent conversations, she manages a believable apology and some provocative discussions that cause a stir within me again. To ease some of my newly found guilt for leaving Rebecca behind, I ask Joel to look after her while I am gone. However, Joel has been either drunk or high during my last few conversations with him so I don’t expect too much help from him. Joel’s latest career making opportunity fell through and he has been on a downward spiral since. As soon as I return home, I plan to piece my friend back together as well as my relationship with Rebecca. I know what I want in my life and I cannot wait to see her again and plan our life together. Arriving home without warning anyone, I hope to surprise Rebecca with flowers and a special gift. I don’t even wait for the elevator, I run up the stairs opening the door to our apartment eagerly, only to be greeted by two recognizable voices coming from our bedroom. I pause for some time, listening to the moans and the eager requests, but the determined fool that I am, I have to prove it to myself. Slamming the bedroom door wide open, I see Rebecca’s legs hung around Joel’s neck.

  “Sean!” Joel yelled removing himself quickly from my girlfriend.

  “Sean NO! Please, please don’t be mad,” Rebecca, cried.

  “Mad, why would I be mad Rebecca? I’m just glad I didn’t call first because I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it.” I grab what little is still important to me before turning to leave.

  Rebecca holds onto my arm with fierce resistance, “Sean please, he doesn’t mean anything to me. I missed you so much that I broke this one time. We’ve been drinking, talking about you and …,” She continues crying.

  “This one time?” She nods as I look to Joel, c
asually leaning in the doorway of our bedroom. “You’re lying. And I don’t care enough to hear the truth.” I pull away from her shaking my head in repulsion. “She’s all yours friend … enjoy.”

  ~

  I stayed with my mother for a couple of days before moving permanently out to California. I am not sure how long it took for the anger to subside or how long it took me to get over her but eventually, I moved on. Once my first big role came out in theaters the opportunities began rolling in and before I know it - I am in demand. I am able to buy a house I love, and hire Randy, my best friend from my military days to be my security adviser. However, the biggest change is Ethan asking to be my manager. He is ridiculously in love he says and detests the Hollywood lifestyle and prefers to let it go and raise a family with his new fiancé, Abbey, my mother’s old physical therapist.

  After much arguing with him and making sure that this is what he wants, I stand next to him and his beautiful bride watching him smile all over himself, like an idiot. He is going to regret this but for right now he looks like the happiest man I have ever seen in my life and for a brief moment, I am jealous of him.

  Chapter 3: Ava

  I watch, frozen, as he mouths the words that will haunt me forever. I cannot run from him, I can’t even scream, his presence alone controls me. No one is stopping him, the courtroom is full, and he is coming to get me - again. I search the entire room for anyone, someone to notice him coming at me. I don’t want to go back there, I can’t go back there with him. Trembling I feel his hands reach out for me. “NO!” I scream in a raging panic.

  “Ava. Hey it’s okay,” Kyle says gripping me still. “Damn I knew it wasn’t a good idea to let you go through these old boxes from New York.”

  Blasting through my back door Justin comes rushing in with Anna following shortly behind. “What happened? Are you alright?” He said rushing to my side.