Those Who Prey

by Jennifer Moffett

  Will’s voice drifts from the courtyard through our open door calling everyone to a meeting. Kara and I rush to the main villa where some of the interns are already sitting on the floor. I spot Josh immediately. He’s too deep in conversation with Andrew to notice me. I’d hoped to talk to Josh alone by now, but between trying to sleep off my jet lag and the scheduled activities, we haven’t had a moment to ourselves.

  Will raises his arms to signal the need for our attention. “Everyone on the floor in a circle,” he says. I sit beside Kara, and Shannon plops down to my left. After the paper bag incident yesterday, everyone seems wary of organized activities.

  Will sits in a chair, smiling vaguely at the window as if lost in thought. As soon as everyone is still and quiet, he scans our faces. “Before we dig into the mission of sharing our faith with new souls, we need to strengthen the spiritual bonds between each other. So I want everyone to offer something about themselves that will help us get to know you a little better. Be sure to include a fact that most people wouldn’t know.”

  I try not to show my displeasure with this announcement. I’ve always hated these get-to-know-each-other scenarios at school. It’s just so awkward when everyone is watching, expecting you to say something either profound or self-deprecating or witty about yourself. I’ve always felt like I fail under the pressure of trying to talk while thinking of what to say at the same time, especially when talking about myself.

  Will leans back as if relaxing before a show. His chair puts him higher than the rest of us, who are sitting cross-legged on the ground. He leans down and puts his elbows on his knees, just enough to bend to our level. “Look. I can see you guys are a little uneasy. That’s understandable,” he says. “The trust game was an intense way to start. Right, Emily?”

  Heat rises in my cheeks as his gaze falls on me, along with the stares from other interns. “But we all survived,” he says with a chuckle. A gentle rumble of laughter from the others seems to calm the circle. “And here’s the point. You trusted. You didn’t filter or resist even though some of you just met your DP for the first time, for goodness’ sake. You knew your DP wouldn’t do anything to hurt you because they are appointed disciplers in God’s Kingdom. It is your DP’s sole job to lead you to be more like Jesus through trust and imitation. Don’t forget that your faith in God is directly reflected through your faith in your DP.”

  The “amen” that follows is from several male voices, including Josh’s. This time, the sound is stronger and more reverent. The voices converge to lift me up as someone to be proud of, someone who succeeded. Kara leans into me for a friendly it’s all okay bump with her shoulder, but I still don’t want to be first right now.

  “So,” says Will, straightening in his chair. “Emily, since you were the first to fully trust, we’ll let you be last in the circle today.”

  I exhale with relief. It’s almost like he read my mind.

  “I guess that means we’ll start with … Andrew.” Will puts his hand on Andrew’s shoulder affectionately.

  Andrew sits very still, a sign of either total calm or hidden terror. “Well,” he murmurs. “I’m Andrew. I go to MIT, where I study engineering—”

  “Andrew,” Will interrupts. “Don’t be humble. Tell them why you chose your school. And speak up.”

  Andrew hesitates, and then continues. “I’m on a full scholarship there.” He glances down as if embarrassed. “Hmmm. What else? I’m from the Midwest.” Long pause.

  “Tell them about your father,” Will says cheerfully.

  Andrew looks taken aback. “What about him?”

  “Tell them who he is.” Will glances at us. “He’s a big deal.”

  “He’s an elected official,” Andrew says quickly. He looks down as if embarrassed by this. Just as Will is about to say something else, Andrew lights up and interjects. “Oh, my most interesting fact is that I won a statewide spelling bee contest in the sixth grade.”

  “Dude,” Todd interjects. “You might not want people to know that.” Todd laughs at his joke, prompting us to laugh with him. I’m relieved to see Andrew smiling.

  I look at Josh, who was appointed as Andrew’s new DP back in Boston a few weeks before we left, just after I committed to join the mission. Josh stares ahead into the middle of the circle. Maybe he’s thinking about what he’ll say when it’s his turn. It occurs to me that I don’t know what his interesting fact will be—should I?

  “Todd?” Will says. “Your turn.”

  “Hi. I’m Todd. I’m from Georgia, and I go to Boston College on a different type of scholarship. I pitch for the baseball team, which leads me to my secret fact. Well, I guess it’s not really a big secret—I can throw a baseball ninety miles per hour.” Todd looks around with a smug expression on his face, as if this announcement usually earns praise.

  Something sparks in Will’s expression when Todd speaks, and I don’t think it’s just because Meredith had told me about Will being a baseball star back in the day. Todd is the perfect example of what Heather always called a “sharp” member, one of the things she said to watch for when inviting people to our activities—tall, muscular, and outgoing. Athletes and social butterflies are coveted recruits in the Kingdom, and the more attractive the better. DPs like this tend to get assigned high-priority new members, which is why Ben is Todd’s DP.

  Ben is next. “I’m Ben and I’m a senior biology major originally from Florida.” I turn to Kara to catch her reaction, to see if maybe they know each other, but she isn’t even looking at him. “Oh, and I almost forgot,” Ben says nonchalantly. “I was recently nominated to be an apostle.”

  This elicits a few gasps. I look around for clarity. I haven’t heard of the term “apostle” yet, so I’m not sure what he means.

  Will sits up straight in his chair. “Congratulations, Ben. I didn’t realize that.” His smile is tight.

  “Well,” Ben says, his eyes level at Will. “The Leader said it all depends on the success of this mission.”

  Will doesn’t respond as he pointedly shifts his attention. “Josh?”

  Josh glances at Ben before he speaks. “Hey. I’m Josh. I’m from Louisiana, in case y’all didn’t know from my accent.” Everyone laughs. “I can’t really think of a secret or an interesting fact. I can’t throw anything ninety miles per hour, that’s for sure.”

  Todd laughs out loud. “Not many can, dude.”

  Will steps in to coax him on. “Now, Josh, remember we’re just like family here in Italy. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we must trust each other by being open. Plus, as Ben reminded all of us, our success in God is interconnected.” The remark sounds unexpectedly sharp. I look to Ben for a reaction. He’s as stoic as ever.

  After a pause, Josh continues quietly. “Back home, my dad was in law enforcement. Kept me in line, I guess. Not many people know about that.” He doesn’t emphasize the word “was” but doesn’t explain it either, and it hangs around us like a palpable question mark. “And my mom …” Josh’s voice trails off, like he stopped to think of something to say and then zoned out from lack of sleep.

  “Looks like Josh needs to sleep off that jet lag,” Will jokes, quick to end the awkwardness with a glance at Josh before scanning the group. “And now for our lovely ladies.”

  Shannon speaks first, as if she’s just been addressed directly, even though Lily is sitting next to Josh. Shannon’s bleach-streaked hair is pulled up in a scrunchie and teased into a perky shape, her makeup thick with eyeshadow and mascara. “I’m Shannon, and I’m pretty sure I’m the oldest intern here. If I’m not the oldest, then I’ve been in the Kingdom the longest. I grew up in Boston, and my parents have been in the church since I was little. I’m not even sure if I’m a senior yet, since I’ve changed my major so many times. It’s just so hard to decide which path would best benefit the Kingdom.” Something about Shannon’s overeagerness reminds me of Heather, although Heather would probably balk at the comparison. “Oh,” Shannon continues, “Lily is my disciple in Chr
ist.” She touches Lily on the knee, as if to signal her permission to speak.

  “Hi, I’m Lily. I grew up in Mexico City, where my father owns an international trading company. I’ve traveled my entire life and I speak four languages.” She smiles and sweeps her long bangs to the side. Lily is naturally beautiful and would never require much makeup, especially not Shannon’s heavy-handed technique. “Shannon is my DP and my best friend. And many of you may not know I am a twin to my brother, Marc. He’s my other best friend.” I smile at Lily’s genuineness. She’s someone I could see myself becoming close with, which is nice to think about considering my relationship with Kara is off to a rocky start. On cue, Kara elbows me to attention.

  “Oh. Hi, I’m Emily. I’m from the Gulf Coast. I don’t know my major yet, but I love art and literature. Hmm. Interesting fact. I think I was born with gills. I mean, I love to swim. The ‘gills’ thing is something my dad always told me because I teach kids to swim during the summer. Well, not this summer, since I’m here. Every other summer.” Crap. I hate that I ramble when I’m nervous, but I’ve never been able to stop myself.

  In an attempt to end my turn, I look at Kara, who appears amused. She leans back, her demeanor totally calm and cool—almost like she’s above this activity, above the rest of us. “I’m Kara. Interesting fact: I am not in college. And my one purpose in life is to advance our efforts in this worldwide mission. We should all feel lucky we were chosen to be a part of this opportunity to change the world.” The words seem almost sarcastic coming from her. When she glances at Will, he smiles at her in a way that’s almost grateful.

  “Well,” says Will. “I guess it’s my turn.”

  “Many of you know I was chosen to lead our worldwide mission exploration a while back, when we visited different countries to look for possible church plantings.” He speaks carefully, as if cautious about his choice of words. “What many of you don’t know is that when we were in Africa, I died.”

  Murmurs go up around the room. It’s pretty obvious no one saw that statement coming, but Kara seems unfazed. Meredith’s words about Africa pop into my head: Miracles happened there.

  “It’s okay. I promise I’m not a ghost,” Will says in a soothing voice. “You all are probably wondering, ‘If he died, then how is he sitting right here telling us about it?’ Well, that’s easy. I lingered on the other side, for quite a while, actually, but the Lord ultimately decided it wasn’t my time. And when I came back, it was in a tiny hut in the middle of a far-away village. I had no earthly idea I’d been in a coma for days.”

  Will leans forward and whispers forcefully, “God was not ready for me to leave this world, brothers and sisters, because this was His will for me.”

  Shannon is crying (and making sure we all hear it). She wipes her eyes dramatically with the sleeve of her shirt, leaving a dark smudge. “How did it happen?” she asks.

  Will shifts in his chair. “That’s irrelevant now because that was nothing compared to what we’ve been chosen to do here. Now we’re facing the real challenge. One even greater than the fight for my life on earth.” He leans down again and raises his voice. “Disciples, first thing tomorrow, I want you to go with your DPs and bring in souls to save. Do not lose sight of our great mission. I want to see this villa full of new believers this week. This is why we were put on this earth. This is why we were sent here.”

  Will ends the meeting with a prayer as we hold hands in a circle. “Now follow your DP for your BTs,” he says with a shooing-away gesture. Back when I first heard the unexplained acronyms out loud in Boston, it sounded so odd. But here it’s reaffirming that a combination of simple letters could mean so much to us yet sound indecipherable to others, and it’s only because we haven’t had a chance to share our positive message with them.

  “Let’s go,” Kara says, as I watch Josh and Andrew slip into another room deeper inside the villa. Kara leads me to a veranda near the courtyard overlooking the hills. “If we’re gonna pray in Italy, we might as well enjoy the scenery God created for us, right?” she quips.

  The landscape sprawled in front of us is stunning, yet instead of inspired, I can’t help but feel unsettled, especially after Will’s story at the end. Back in Boston, prayer was always the answer. I close my eyes tightly and pray for our mission, for our souls, for guidance—still, I have to make myself ignore the sharp pains stabbing through my empty stomach. I can’t stop thinking about decadent breakfast food—ham and cheese omelets, pancakes with bacon, buttery croissants. My eyes burn like I’m about to cry. I’m not sure if it’s because of hunger or faith. I open my eyes to see Kara staring at me as if waiting for someone to finish something that has nothing to do with her.

  “Ready?” she says cheerfully.

  Back in our room, Kara climbs on her bunk to listen to music. She’s been quiet and distant since the meeting, so I hold back on all the questions I want to ask her. Will’s revelation is chewing at my brain. I can’t stop picturing him laid out in a distant hut fighting death with all his might. I stand there awkwardly, wanting to talk, but not knowing what to say. She turns her head and smiles as she pulls one side of her headphones away from her head. “Hey. Let’s just rest. Okay?” she says before repositioning it over her ear, putting an end to a potential conversation. My jet lag takes away any will to argue. I lie on top of my sheets and close my eyes, drifting off to the muffled static from songs I can’t decipher.

  It’s dark outside when I come to. As my ears search for recognizable sounds, I hear two people talking outside our open wall. One I know is Kara, and the other sounds like a male.

  The phrase “I don’t know” is all I can make out of Kara’s side of the conversation.

  I hear the word “chosen” from the guy, but it sounds like part of a question.

  Then silence.

  I carefully roll off my bed without making a sound and tiptoe toward the door. I freeze at the sound of the guy’s voice. Ben.

  Kara is louder this time. “I said I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  Ben: “The book of Acts, chapter 28, says that Paul—”

  “I know what it says,” Kara snaps.

  “Well, I guess you do know what I’m talking about, then.” Pause. “Sister.”

  “Careful there, Brother. No one knows each other’s biggest struggles like family.”

  Someone stomps off. I rush back to my bed and shut my eyes. I hear Kara step back inside and rummage through our drawers. By the time I gather the nerve to open my eyes, all I see is her walking out the door. I close my eyes again, pushing back my frustration at not understanding what’s going on.

  My eyes are heavy. Another wave of exhaustion pulls me down, smothering my questions with the promise of unconscious bliss. Since arriving at the villa, these waves have overtaken my body like an inescapable force. Jet lag and hunger are a powerful combination. Every time I wake up, I can’t remember how or when I fell asleep. Sometimes, I completely forget where I am until the interlocking metal springs under Kara’s mattress come into focus above me. I quietly study them as if they hold the answers.

  Sticky Smiles

  The next morning, a hand nudges me awake. The smell of Kara’s clean, wet hair stirs my senses. I open my eyes and rub them awake. Sunlight projects a bright rectangle onto the floor of our room.

  “Time to save souls,” Kara says cheerfully, head tilted to the side while combing through shiny dark strands of hair.

  Too sleepy to talk, I trudge across the room to find something to wear.

  “I’ll be outside drying my hair the good old-fashioned way,” Kara says. It takes me a minute to realize she means under the sun. My brain tries to catch up and process the here and now, but I’m too exhausted. The conversation I overheard last night lingers in the back of my mind until it finally fades into something like the fragment of a half-forgotten dream.

  Will is waiting in the courtyard for us. “Okay, I need everyone to confirm you have your bus passes by raising your hands.�
� Everyone confirms. “DPs,” he barks. “You are in charge. And disciples?” He smiles as if to assure us. “Your only instruction is to follow your DP. Got it?” We say “yes” in unison before breaking off into different directions. I try to walk slowly, hoping to catch Josh, but Kara is nearly running toward the bus stop. I glance back one last time to see Josh and Andrew talking to Will and Ben before I have to sprint to catch up to Kara.

  The bus pulls up right after Kara and I get to the stop. By the time the others arrive the engines are revving and there are hardly any more seats. Josh offers me a small smile as he walks past, toward the back of the bus. My hopes sink as another chance to talk passes.

  The bus wheezes down the narrow street. Kara stares out the window while I sit patiently awaiting our destination. The bus route parallels a river flanked by a redbrick wall where people lean over as if watching something on the low-lying banks below. Old, narrow buildings line the opposite bank of the river. We turn onto a side street just before a lemon-yellow building with dark brown shutters, all tightly closed.

  I have no idea where we’re going. I glance at Kara sitting beside me, her backpack in her lap, her lean arms casually wrapped around it. She shifts in her seat then glances at me, smiles, and looks out the window again, a sequence of gestures that makes her seem friendly and unknowable at the same time.

  Everything I know about Kara says she doesn’t care about what may happen around her. It’s all “blend in and just be.” It’s hard to blend in here, though, especially when everyone around me speaks Italian. I feel like I’m in the way—on trains, on the bus, on the streets—because I don’t yet know the way, and Kara acts like she’s lived here for years. She takes charge in a way that seems effortless, not like Heather’s “take charge or take over” personality.