TANGLED

by Simone Elise

  I dropped the cigarette on the ground and put it out. I looked down at my jeans and white t-shirt, both covered in grease and oil stains. I would have to change if they were going to let me in.

  Something was telling me to hurry the fuck up. I flicked off the shed lights and headed inside. Change of clothes and then I’d head for her. It wasn’t like Soph to ask for help. In fact, I couldn’t think of one occasion where she had asked for help.

  Knowing that made me move quicker.

  Chapter Four

  JOSH

  Prison. My time in there has defined me now. It reshaped my future and it crafted my life. Before prison I was empty, soulless, and reckless. I was still soulless, but I had found a purpose. That purpose being the Devil’s Cut.

  I never thought the most feared, most dangerous motorcycle club would give me a purpose. I didn’t see my life heading anywhere; didn’t have a fucking direction or plan for the future. So when they approached me in prison and drafted me, I didn’t fight it.

  It didn’t scare me that I was going to join one of the world’s notorious motorcycle clubs. I lived my life by two qualities: loyalty and I don’t give a fuck what others think. So I didn’t waste a second on what people’s opinion of me would be. I didn’t care if people thought I was reckless, soulless, or heartless. I didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought.

  I have no fear. Some would say I was fearless. Hell, that’s what other blokes called me until Wolf, the Mother Charter President of the Devil’s Cut, gave me the vice president patch. I went from being called Fearless to Vice quickly.

  I was the acting Vice President in prison. I was the enforcer there. Made sure everyone was safe, protected, and Wolf noticed my active role in making sure his members were safe in there. I did one year of being a prospect and I was given the vice president patch, six months after my prospect year ended.

  It was unheard of. A member had to serve the club for years, and even than that didn’t mean they would be given a title or become a VP.

  Wolf lasted six months with me behind bars acting as vice president, then he needed me out in the world—he needed his VP at his side.

  So they organised an appeal.

  I sure as hell didn’t see it being successful. But the club pulled strings. And before I knew it, I was out nearly two years early.

  I got a four year sentence for beating a man that deserved it.

  Still to this day I could never say I loved Christine. She was my girlfriend at the time. I was only with her because it was expected and I was having regular sex with her. It made sense to be her boyfriend: I needed sex, and she was good at it. It wasn’t like I was in love with her. I didn’t feel love for anyone. Not even my family. Sure, I respected them and cared for them. But love? I don’t think I could call it that.

  I didn’t really know what love was. My parents never showed it to each other. I got four years for hitting Christine’s Dad when he dared to hit her in front of me. It was an automatic response. I punched him and, like always, when the lid came off my temper it came right off.

  How did Christine thank me? She broke up with me as soon as I was charged and out of her life. So I didn’t feel or do love.

  Loyalty however I do feel. I felt loyalty for the club. I think if I had to pick what love was I would say I felt it for the club. The first thing I did when I got out of prison was get the permeant patch, which was a tattoo of the club logo and shield on my back.

  It was my first tattoo and not my last. The tattooist was now working on my arm. When I’m finished I doubt there’ll be any bare skin left.

  I pulled up at the restaurant. I wasn’t in colours. It wasn’t heard of for a member not to be in colours, especially when they are a vice president.

  But my Dad wouldn’t let me wear colours near the house.

  He publicly disowned me when I got let out. When he was questioned on my early release, he confirmed what the media thought: he had nothing to do with me. The only reason I was at their house was because it was part of the condition of my parole. That and, for some reason, Mum was wanted it. She thought she could change me; wouldn’t accept the fact that I had made my decision and I wasn’t ashamed being a known criminal.

  I had spent so many months keeping the order in prison it didn’t really throw me when the same was expected of me in the club now outside of prison.

  I locked the car and got out. I wouldn’t normally stop what I was doing for anyone. Maybe if Wolf really needed me. But I wouldn’t stop what I was doing for a woman.

  Then Soph was a different matter.

  She was an expectation to the rule. Still don’t know how that happened, but it did. Maybe because before I went away I watched her grow up. Though, when I left she was still an immature teenager who was hanging on every word my brother said.

  Now… Well, now she was a woman that didn’t give a fuck if I saw her naked. I still couldn’t believe she just got dressed in front of me like that! She should know better. I was a man after all, a dangerous one.

  I had wondered at the time whether she had done it because she felt comfortable or because she was hell bent on breaking rules that used to cage her.

  As I entered the restaurant I walked straight past the greeter and ignored his complaint that I didn’t have a booking. He was the one causing a scene by following me and demanding me to leave. I continued to ignore him and scanned the restaurant, looking for Soph.

  She always stood out. One glance at her slim figure and blonde hair from behind and I knew it was her. She was in the sunken area of the restaurant that looked like it was for more intimate couples.

  I scrolled through the restaurant, my eyes on her. I could see from where I was that she was tense. She looked stiff. I saw him move closer to her, and I think I could hear her panic.

  She turned just slightly, I think to get away from him, and her eyes locked with mine.

  I saw panic along with relief in her hazel eyes. Never had anyone looked at me with relief. Usually it was fear, and I encouraged that fear because it kept the unwanted away and the ones that needed to fear me, well, they got the message.

  I was in earshot now and I could pick up on their conversation. It was a one-sided conversation because Soph’s attention was on me.

  She got up. “Babe, I’m so sorry. Our dinner just took a little longer.” Her eyes were pledging with me to go along with whatever she was saying. I wasn’t boyfriend material. So how she planned on explaining us together I don’t know. I was the guy that everyone didn’t want to associate with.

  I was the guy your parents warn you about. I would happily say I didn’t just scare men off, I scared off the female population as well. I think it had to do with the fact I was double the size of the normal guy. I intimidated everyone. And I didn’t need the club doing that for me. Just my image sent the message.

  “Your parents never mentioned you were dating anyone, Sophia.” The man she called Jeff turned around and stood up. I saw his judgement. “They didn’t mention you were dating Joshua Hawkins either.”

  Yeah, my mugshot had been plastered all over the newspaper about my early release. The media had been having a field day with it. Then my open connections to the Devil’s Cut were highlighted. But the fact I was Vice President stayed out of the paper. So it surprised me that Soph would want to even pretend that she was in a relationship with me.

  I was bad news, everyone knew that. Didn’t need a reporter to tell you about my case, just one glance at me was enough to have people staying out of my way.

  “Funny, Mom and Dad didn’t mention your marriage breakup either,” Soph said and picked up her clutch. “I should really get going, Josh and I have plans.”

  “I don’t think your parents would approve, Sophia,” he said that like he had some control over whether she would be leaving with me or not. How wrong was he. Soph was leaving with me. I could tell from one glance at her she was scared, she was nervous, she felt unsafe and this prick seemed to be the cause of it all.


  “I’m sure her parents would also be wondering why you would be taking their daughter, who could be your daughter, to a place like the Diamond Carat.” I stepped to Soph’s side. She looked like she was a second from having a full on panic attack.

  I couldn’t remember the last time I touched someone. But I found myself touching Soph as I took her clenched shut hand. Jeff didn’t seem to have an answer to my comment. I was used to men like him thinking they had power because they earned a good wage. Most people are scared of people with power and money. I, however, couldn’t give a fuck if they had money or a position of power. Because when it came down to it, men like him didn’t have a spine to begin with.

  I eased Soph’s clenched hand free and linked her fingers with mine. She would have to know I wasn’t about to let this guy hurt her.

  Jeff’s eyes were on Soph. “Sophia, are you sure you want to leave with this man? Remember my offer?”

  It was like someone had poured freezing ice cold water of Soph. She was that stunned and shocked.

  I didn’t need Soph to tell me what she was feeling. I could see the panic in her eyes. She looked like a cornered animal.

  I watched her gulp as she came up with a reason to deny his request again. He moved closer to her and it was my automatic response to block his path to her. I stepped in between them.

  “Sophia is too polite to tell you to piss off. But I’m not. So back the fuck down and consider the answer to your offer a no.” I stepped back and pulled on Soph’s hand. She followed me out.

  People pulled chairs in or stepped out of our way. I was used to that. People always stayed away from me. Soph was following in my shadow and I don’t think she took a deep breath in until we stepped outside.

  I stopped pulling on her hand and turned to face her. “You alright?”

  Her eyes were wide and she still looked like she was in shock. I saw her gulp.

  “Sophia, are you ok?” I repeated myself when she remained silent, with this look on her face that told me she was anything but ok.

  She took another deep breath in. “Thank you, Josh.” She pulled her hand from mine and looked like she was calming down. “I’m so sorry to get you involved like that. I just didn’t know anyone else who would come.” She ran hand through her hair, looking upset. “I’m so sorry to bring you into my mess.”

  “Soph, don’t stress about it.” I didn’t know what else to say to get her to calm down.

  “Still, it’s not acceptable.” She shook her head. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Stop saying sorry. I said it was fine.” I didn’t know whether to add to that or not but then I found myself knowing I had to by the look on her face. “It’s what friends are for, right?” I said awkwardly. I didn’t do friends. I didn’t bond with anyone. Unless it was made of steel and metal or a club brother.

  Her eyes went bigger and I didn’t think that was possible. “We aren’t friends.” She was saying that like it was the worst thing to happen to her. “I really didn’t mean to use you like that, Josh. I don’t expect you to like put up with me or anything. Seriously, we aren’t friends because of that.”

  “We were friends before tonight, Soph, otherwise you wouldn’t have called me.” I felt for some reason I needed to reassure her. “Now do you want to head home or are you hungry?”

  She looked at me stunned. “You don’t do friends.” She repeated a fact about me everyone knew.

  I didn’t know how to be one. But I guess I was going to learn. Soph was worth it. She was sweet, she was drop dead gorgeous—beautiful—the sort of beauty that would stop you in your tracks. She had every man’s attention. It was curves to her body, the shape of her perfect breasts, and her beautiful creamed colour skin. One glance at her perfect shaped face and you were hooked.

  Like I said, she was gorgeous, but it wasn’t just her beauty or body that had me doing something I never did. It was her personality. And even though I hadn’t seen or had a good conversation with her in years, I knew her personality hadn’t changed.

  She was the type of girl that put everyone before her. She was the type of girl that would break a rule if it meant the benefit outweighed risk. And she was the only woman I knew that wasn’t selfish.

  I scratched the back of my neck, watching her eyes debate. She was weighing up the facts; she had always been good at that. Even when I left and she was only sixteen, she knew how to weigh up the odds.

  I guess I just had to be honest with her. “You’re right, I don’t do friendships. This is a one off.” I forced myself to smile at her, while I felt a hell of a lot of nerves. I never got fucking nervous, but right now that was the only thing that explained how I was feeling.

  Her serious expression broke and she smiled. “I better not stuff it up then.” Her hair blew across her face and I should have stopped myself but didn’t when I tucked it behind her ear. For some reason it bothered me that it was in the way of her flawless face.

  “You want to head home?” I asked, my hand hovering at the side of her face. I wanted to cup her cheek, but I wasn’t sure if friends did that. I knew for a fact if she was my girlfriend I would have my hands all over her. I didn’t do boundaries when it came to girlfriends.

  “Um, yeah.” She smiled and stepped in closer to me, getting out of the way of a couple walking past. “Sorry to make you come in and get me.”

  “How did you get here?”

  “He picked me up.”

  I frowned. “That jerk was at my house?”

  “He is meant to be a family friend.” She glanced back at restaurant and sighed. “I don’t know why I attract men like that. It’s like I have a sign around my neck telling useless men to approach me.” She rolled her eyes and looked back at me. “Thanks for saving me from him.”

  We started to walk to my car, and I knew I shouldn’t but I took her hand. “Don’t worry about it. You can always call me.” I didn’t say that to many people. Yeah, if they were my club brothers I was always reachable. But for a female to call me in case she needed me—that I didn’t do.

  “You know I read something about you today.” Soph didn’t pull her small hand from mine and I had to say it fitted perfectly.

  “If it’s from Jill Mason, I’m telling you now it’s all lies,” I said. Jill Mason was a reporter who had it out for me. She was making it her mission to make sure my life was that bit harder. She even had an investigator on me, which I paid off to feed her back useless information.

  “Actually it was on the Age.” Soph came to a stop next to my car and turned to look up at me. “You’re involved with a motorcycle club aren’t you?”

  That I wasn’t expecting. There had been rumours, but no one had ever confirmed it. I swallowed sharply. Guess I was about to see her reaction on what she thought of her new friend being a known criminal.

  I stayed silent, watching her expression as she sighed.

  “I didn’t expect you to confirm it. I read all about how you keep it quiet because of your dad.” She kept staring up at me. She didn’t look one bit scared or frightened.

  Dad was the one keeping it quiet. Not me. I didn’t give a fuck if it was plastered all over the headlines. Dad, however, did care and had control over the headlines and articles—at the moment.

  If he didn’t win this mayor election, he wouldn’t have control anymore. The fact I was a criminal and a biker would get out.

  “I know for a fact you weren’t in one before you left. You know, no one has ever told me why you went to prison.” She linked her fingers with mine, looking down at our linked hands. “You don’t have to tell me though.”

  I remained quiet.

  I didn’t want to confirm her nightmare. At the same time, I wanted to tell her the truth. For some reason what she thought mattered to me.

  Soph pulled up her strapless black dress and sighed. “Well, if you aren’t going to talk at least take me home.”

  I nodded my head. I could do that. I couldn’t answer or confirm her thoughts, even if they
were true. But I could take her home.

  I let go of her hand and she walked to the passenger side of my car.

  I knew I was going to remain silent. But even when I was silent around Soph, it was never awkward.

  It just felt, right, I guess.

  Not uncomfortable or forcing me to make conversation. I never experienced that with anyone. Didn’t know what to call it. I got in the car and like I expected the silence continued. I turned on the radio and pulled out.

  Like I expected, it wasn’t awkward.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Soph

  I excelled in school. I never found studies hard. I could balance the pressure of a serious relationship, school work, and being there for my best friend easily. I never struggled. Not when it came to being Kyle’s other half or keeping up a flawless grade average.

  But today—no—this week, I was struggling. It would seem like Kyle and Kayla had decided to always be in my view. I had been cursed to have nearly every class with them, apart from art.

  I think the hardest thing I was coming to terms with was also the hardest thing I had to face every day: watching Kyle do with Kayla the things he used to do with me. It was simple things, like getting her lunch, carrying her books, sharing inside jokes.

  And the one thing that really hurt me was he had picked the same place to make out with her. It was in between lockers in the b wing, and I had the misfortune of seeing them. Actually, it felt like they were doing it on purpose just to hurt me. Like they knew I had to take that way to math and would catch them.

  Anyway, I didn’t think it was possible for my heart to bleed anymore, but it did. Seeing her have him pinned against the side of the locker… When I first saw them, I had to do a double take. I couldn’t actually believe that Kyle would make out with her in our spot.