by Simone Elise
I was getting out my sunglasses and shutting my locker door when I jumped.
“Hey, Soph.” Adam grinned at me. I hadn’t seen him standing there. Adam’s locker had been next to my locker for years. But he had left to go overseas last year.
I ran a hand through my hair and nervously smiled. I was still slightly surprised to see him.
“Hey, Adam, how are you?” I had to be nice. He had been a good friend. But he had been more of a friend to Kyle than me. Like all my other “friends”, they were more Kyle’s than mine. So it wasn’t a huge surprise when they sided with him.
“Really good. I’ve missed you and it’s already showing in my math and it is my first day back.” e kept grinning at me like he really was that happy to see me. “How’s Kyle? I haven’t seen him yet.”
And there was the question I was hoping wouldn’t come up. For some stupid reason I thought I would escape before he asked that question.
Laughter filled the hall and I thought this moment couldn’t get any worse. But that laugh… well, that laugh now was the cause of most of my nightmares.
“Oh, here’s Kyle and Kayla now. Should have guessed they wouldn’t be far from you.” Adam waved over my shoulder and then he frowned.
I took a stab in the dark and guessed that Kayla was probably clinging to Kyle’s side, or they were doing what they always did—and that was kissing. I swear that was all they never did around me. Their lips were always locked.
Disgust is what I felt when I saw it.
Adam looked back at me. “Am I missing something?” Well, that was a very good question. And yes, he was. He glanced back at the happy couple that were by the sound of it coming closer.
“Kyle and I broke up,” I said.
Adam’s eyes snapped back to me, wide and alarmed. “You’re joking, right?” He looked at me like I was lying.
I glanced over my shoulder and saw Kayla back Kyle against the hallway wall, looking like they were about to make out. I looked back at Adam.
“Does it look like I’m lying? Kayla would be his new girlfriend,” I clarified the details.
“Who broke up with who?” Adam did something I didn’t expect: he leaned against his locker and seemed more interested in that question than the show behind me. Actually, I was surprised he wasn’t bolting to go say hi to Kyle and blowing me off. Wasn’t like he had to put up with me anymore…
“He broke up with me.” I didn’t give the details.
He gestured his head towards the happy couple. “How long until he started dating her?”
And that was a question I hated answering. Thankfully I didn’t have to tell many people because they had been there when Kyle broke up with and had heard his blunt, rude, and direct explanation. He wasn’t shy of keeping the details to himself. Nope. He shared them in front of my family and friends. Well, his friends, it would turn out.
“Um, they were already together. They had managed to keep it from me for three months.”
Adam arched his eyebrows and shook his head. “What a jerk.”
I was surprised he would say that about Kyle. Adam and Kyle were close. I would say Kayla was my best friend and Adam had been Kyle’s. Kyle and I used to joke that Kayla and Adam should get together.
The four of us spent a lot of time together. Parties. Binge sessions. School. Weekends. The four of us were always together. Even when we hung out with Kyle’s other friends, the four of us always were closest.
“Guessing everyone sided with the golden boy then?” Adam said, his eyes on the happy couple.
How did he know that? I nodded my head. “My friends circle has gotten smaller.”
“Yeah, well, they follow Kyle blindly—always have.” Adam looked back at me, and I saw anger in his eyes. “You didn’t deserve to be treated like that.”
Funny. He was only the second person to say that to me. Everyone else wouldn’t even speak to me. Like Adam said, they followed the golden boy. He was popular, he was extremely handsome, and girlfriends had always been jealous of me being with him. I think they all couldn’t believe their luck that Kyle was back on the market. Pity Kayla spoiled their hopes.
“He is happy. I guess that is all that matters.” I put my sunglasses on my head, ready to face another long lunch.
I wasn’t hungry. I never was. Some days I didn’t eat at all. Then the next day I’d only eat because I was light-headed and my stomach would growl for food.
“Are you?” Adam asked, his voice gentle and kind. Two things Adam rarely showed anyone. Sure, he was nice. But he had an edge to him. He wasn’t the golden boy. He didn’t do well in classes and he relied on my help.
Adam had been forced to go overseas with his parents because they couldn’t trust him to be left by himself. Last time they did, Adam ended up getting arrested through a rage party, trashed their house, got caught on drugs, and on top of all that, defaced a police car because he “felt like it”. Like I said, he isn’t the golden boy.
But he had just asked me a question. One I wasn’t sure if I could answer truthfully.
Was I ok?
I smiled dimly. “Some days are better than others.” And that was the truth. Some days I would get through painless. Other days I would drown in the heartbreak and feel an indescribable pain when I looked at Kyle.
“So did you lose all your friends?” Adam still wasn’t in a rush to go see his best friend.
“They weren’t my friends when it came down to it. They were all Kyle’s,” I replied. “It doesn’t matter, I used to love being on my own.” And I had. But even then, I still had Kayla. She had always been my one steady friend.
We were matched up in kindergarten and we grew up together: went through the awkward years together, the first boyfriends, the first kisses, the first times we had sex—we had always shared everything with each other.
Then when I started dated Kyle, we were still close. But one day it was like she woke up and was jealous of my relationship with him. She started saying things like I always put him first or that I would blow her off for him, which wasn’t the case.
About six months ago Kayla started to get involved with the drug scene. I tried to talk her out of it, but at the end of the day I had to support her. I knew what she was doing was dangerous, but I couldn’t change it, or make her do what I wanted.
So I supported her. And I was there at the hospital after her first overdose. It had been an accident. I was there, holding her hair back as she threw up because she had mixed the wrong drugs together. I was even there when her latest bad relationship went wrong.
I had always been there for her.
And how did she repay me? She helped the love of my life break my heart. It flooded me again: the feeling of betrayal.
“Soph, you alright?” Adam placed a hand on my shoulder. He must have seen the emotion in my eyes as I remembered what type of friendship I did have.
“Yeah.” I looked him in the eye. “Just need some fresh air before class.” It was an excuse and I saw by his expression he knew I had lied. Adam could always tell when someone was lying or not.
“Do you want me to come?”
I frowned. “I’m not your friend, Adam. You don’t have to put up with me anymore.” If anything, he had to put up with Kayla now. How unlucky was he…
“Just because you aren’t with Kyle, doesn’t mean I don’t value your friendship.” Adam smiled. “Come on, Soph, you really think I’d just blow you off?”
I frowned. “You are Kyle’s best friend. He should come first.” If there was a line being drawn, Adam shouldn’t be on my side of the line.
He shrugged. “Personally, I think he fucked up. He might be my friend, doesn’t mean I support what he did.”
Was it possible that I still had a friend left? I remained silent, unsure what to say to that. Should I thank him? Not one other person, apart from Josh, said that Kyle was a dick for what he did.
“Can I have your timetable?” Adam said, snapping me out of my thoughts.
<
br /> “Um, why?”
His carefree grin was back on his face. “So I can get changed into your classes. It’s my first day back and I’m already behind cause I don’t have you to help me.”
I always helped him when it came to school. The teachers never explained it clearly enough for him. He would always have questions but would ask me instead of the teacher. But I wasn’t exactly excelling in school at the moment.
I pulled out my timetable from my pocket. “I don’t know if I’ll be much help. I’ve already fallen behind.”
“You’ve fallen behind?” He looked at me like that was impossible.
Yeah, the old me wouldn’t be behind. She’d be ahead.
“What can I say? I’m just not feeling this last year.” It was dragging out and I wanted it over. I would’ve liked nothing more than to never come back here.
Once school finished, once my parents were back, I’d be able to cut Kyle completely out of my life.
“But all the work you’ve done has lead up to this year.” Adam frowned. “Don’t tell me you are letting Kyle ruin your future? What happened to getting an early acceptance into university?”
That had always been the goal. Now I didn’t give a fuck.
I shrugged my shoulders.
“Well, it looks like I’m going to be doing a role I never do and that’s enjoy school work."
My lips twitched up. Someone cared. He cared. And I thought everyone had stopped caring about me.
“Thanks, Adam.” I gave him a full smile. It was forced, but it was a smile. “You should get to the office before they glue you into your original classes.”
“Good point. I’ll see you later, right?” He stopped leaning the against the locker.
“Yeah, I’m not going anywhere.” And I wasn’t. Every week day I would be here. In hell.
“Ok. I’ll see you later, Soph.” Adam gave me a final friendly smile and left. I turned, watching him walk up the hall. And then I noticed how he ignored Kyle and Kayla, completely.
Kyle noticed too. His eyes were on Adam as he walked past them.
Then Kyle’s eyes bounced to mine, and I knew Kyle’s emotions well. I knew when he was in pain. I knew when he was upset. I knew when he was happy. And right now his eyes were painted in regret with a tint of anger. I didn’t know why he was angry, but I realized it wasn’t my problem anymore. I closed my locker door and broke eye contact with him.
But as I walked in the opposite direction, I could feel his eyes still on me until the door swung shut behind me.
Chapter Seven
Soph
It was late after midnight and I was still up on a Friday night, studying. I used to find studying so easy and now it was like forcing a cat to have a bath—bloody impossible—and my body was fighting me one hundred percent.
I groaned when all the numbers ganged up on me and I couldn’t solve a single problem.
Then, as if God knew I needed a reason to have a break, there was a knock on my door.
I frowned, wondering who would be up at this time, and more importantly why would they be wanting to see me.
I got up and opened the door. For some reason I was expecting to see Josh. Well, I was hoping it was Josh. So my friendly smile fell when my eyes landed on Kyle.
“What do you want?” My words weren’t friendly. My words weren’t welcoming. I was direct and rude and I didn’t feel sorry for either.
“I need to talk to you.” Kyle looked at me awkwardly. “I was hoping you would still be up.”
“Why are you even here?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking. It was a Friday night, which usually meant a party—which meant by now Kyle should be on his way to a hangover.
“Um, I wanted to see you.” He looked me in the eye and I saw the honesty in them.
I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorframe. “What about?” I couldn’t think of one reason why. The way he treated me in front of Kayla said it all. He didn’t have time for me. He sure as fuck didn’t care about me. And when it came down it, we weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend anymore—and we weren’t friends. Hell, we weren’t even associates.
“I wanted to ask something of you.” He took a step towards me and immediately I took one back. My brain was screaming run. My body’s defences were up. No one had hurt me as much as he had hurt me, and right now that fact had not been forgotten.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing when he pushed my bedroom door wide open and took another step into my room. Like he was more determined than ever to make sure he could get close to me.
I put my hand out. “Don’t come any closer.” My voice shook with nerves. I swallowed sharpl. It was bad enough seeing him, but having him close… Well, it sent my body into immediate pain, knowing I couldn’t touch. Knowing what we had was dead.
“Soph, I need you to trust me.” His words came out softly and his voice dipped into honesty. It was seductive and swirled in my ears, pulling me in, wanting me to believe him. “I need you to trust me.” He took a step closer and now there was no room between us.
He did something I wasn’t expecting. His hand cupped my face and I saw the pain in his eyes, like he wanted more but couldn’t have it.
He dipped his head. “Please, will you trust me?”
I frowned. What did he mean trust him? Why the hell would I trust him when it came to anything! Why would he be asking this of me!
“I don’t understand,” I mumbled.
His eyes locked with mine. “I need you to trust me; to not wipe me off. Can you do that?”
What he was asking suddenly registered and immediately I wanted to kill him.
“You want me to trust you! Like fuck, Kyle!” I managed to get out before I was interrupted.
“Kyle, what the hell are you doing?” Kayla was standing in the hallway, looking directly at Kyle’s back.
Kyle pinched his eyes shut and I heard him curse. He took his hand off me and I missed his touch immediately. I hated myself for wanting it, for missing it and needing it. Yep, I hated myself a bit more for that. But most of all I was starting to hate Kyle for making me want his touch.
“I thought you were going to the party.” Kyle turned around, sounding pissing off.
“Well, isn’t it a good thing I came to check if you had changed your mind?” Kayla crossed her arms and looked at me. “So the one night we’re apart you make a move. Always knew you were a slut when it came to him, Sophia, but even I wasn’t expecting you to act on it.”
Her words whipped across my body. It wasn’t just what she said that hurt; it was that she said it to begin with. For some stupid reason I thought she would still like me, or think higher of me than that.
“Well, he is all yours, Kayla.” I wasn’t going to fight over Kyle. He was hers. Simple. And I was starting to see very clearly how much of a liar she was.
“Stay away from him, Sophia. He is mine.” She moved across the hall towards my door. “Don’t touch him. Don’t talk to him. And for fuck sake, stop looking at him with those pitiful eyes.”
Her words were sharp, mean, and sliced open my heart a bit wider.
Instead of shutting down, instead of backing down and just taking it like I had since they became a couple, I found an ounce of courage still in my blood.
I moved around Kyle so I could get a good look at the cheap slut she was. “You know what, Kayla, how about you stop monitoring me. Clearly you’re insecure if you think I can get Kyle back. I don’t give a fuck if you are with him or not because, at the end of the day, he still looks at me like he loves me.” I stepped out into the hall. “And I think that’s what really makes you angry. Because you are just one of the many he will fuck his way through, while I was one of the rare ones he stayed around for.”
I saw the disbelief and terror on her face as I pushed past her, heading for the stairs. And in that moment, I wasn’t the broken-hearted ex-girlfriend anymore. I was finally piecing myself back together, and I realized it the moment I stood up to her. My br
eak up with Kyle had given me something that it took months to find: courage. I was a warrior now, and I would never let him, or any man, destroy my heart again.
Once I had my heart back together, I was locking it up and away. And I would never—ever—give someone the power to hurt me again.
Chapter Eight
Soph
I didn’t know where I was heading. I just had to get away. I just had to put as much distance between me and Kyle as possible. I headed for the other side of town.
I knew my normal spots and bars were no-go zones because Kyle’s friends might be there. So I had driven to the darker side of town. Maybe I was asking for trouble. I walked into the dimly lit bar and headed to get a drink. It was a shady bar with mainly men inside. But that didn’t deter me. I needed a strong drink. Maybe a few.
I most likely would get behind the wheel after this. The old Soph wouldn’t have dared. Now, well, I just didn’t see any reason stopping me.
I ordered a drink and ran a hair through my hair. How had I let myself fall for Kyle’s charm? I wanted to turn back time. Refuse to let him in.
I threw back the shot glass and got a refill, throwing that back as well. I wasn’t much of a drinker. I never was. So I knew I would start feeling the effects quickly. Maybe it was best if I didn’t drive. I didn’t want to kill someone just because I couldn’t see the point in life. I put my glass down for another.
“The way you’re going you’re going to drink the bar dry.”
I turned slightly. I hadn’t even realized I sat down next to someone. Or had he sat next to me? I had been so focused on drinking, I didn’t know the answer.
I took in his rough looks. He was deadly handsome, tattoos over his fingers, hands, arms, and neck, and a voice that would lure you in. It wasn’t just his looks, it was how he was looking at me.
He blew out a mouthful of smoke and turned his body towards me on the stool. “You don’t look old enough to be drinking.”
