by Simone Elise
I didn’t have a threatening or a bad girl image. I never had. I didn’t have a confident front likr Kayla that made you think she was the girl your parents warned you about.
I didn’t know why—fuck, I couldn’t explain it, but for once in my life I felt confident. Like I wasn’t squirming under his tense eyes.
“You don’t look like a guy that follows the rules to begin with,” I said, not scared of him.
His lips twitched up. “You read me well.”
Yeah. Two words summed him up: bad boy.
“So if you read me so well, why aren’t you running?” He looked at me impressed. “I’m here every night, so I know you don’t normally come here.”
He must be regular. Well, if he knew I wasn’t normally around here, he would assume this was out of my character—which it was. Still, I didn’t find myself scared or lacking confidence. For some reason I felt like I could put a front on, like I could show him a side of me I never showed anyone.
A daring side. Because that was what I was doing, wasn’t it? Taking a dare. Risking everything by being here. My safety. My reputation—not that there was much of that one left. But my limited reputation would go down if I was seen in a place like this with a girl on a pole in the corner, dancing freely to men who weren’t even paying her. She must be an employee here because she seemed too good at it for it to be her first time or for it to be a drunken dare.
Most of the men had eyes on her moving to the seductive beat.
I looked back at the guy, and his attention was solely on me. I saw his eyes run up and down me, maybe deciding what the chances were of him scoring me for the night.
Pity for him I was planning on getting drunk. But I wasn’t getting so drunk that I would have a one-night stand.
I knew what I was trying to do was numb the pain in my heart and I realized that maybe this guy could help with that. Sex was just that, wasn’t it? Sex. Not really a big deal. I used to think it was a big deal. I used to think you had to know and trust your partner before you did it, before you took the step.
Now I was seeing sex for what it really was, how guys sees it: just a need, and one that can be filled by anyone. Didn’t have to be the love of my life or a guy I trusted with my heart. It could be any man.
It could be this guy that was staring into my eyes.
“Bax.” He took the cigarette out of his mouth. “My name.”
Oh. He was introducing himself. I guess I had made the cut on whether or not to make the effort .
“Sophia. But everyone calls me Soph.” I gave him a smile. Again it was a forced smile, but hell, at least I was putting in effort.
“Well, Soph, why are you here?” He turned the empty glass in his hand and then put his hand up for a refill.
I frowned for a second. Why was I here? “Why are you?” I asked
“Same reason as everyone else.”
“That being?”
“Well, some are here for the cheap sprits. Some are here for the free show that chick puts on every night. Others, like me, well, we are here because this is where business is done.” He gave me a small smile. “And I’m guessing not one of those reasons is why you are here.”
I nodded. He had a point. Was I really that easy to read? “I’m here to forget about my life for a night.”
He nodded his head, accepting that as an answer. “You shouldn’t have come here alone. Surely your boyfriend could keep you company? In a place like this you are lucky every guy in here hasn’t made a move already.”
Boyfriend. Just that one word made me clench my glass tighter. “I don’t have a boyfriend.” I wanted to make that point clear. I turned, looking at him a bit harder. “I don’t believe men are trust worthy. And as for guys making a move on me in here, clearly you read that wrong because not even one has glanced in my direction.”
He smirked. “Maybe that’s because you are sitting next to me, sweetheart. Or did you not realize you sat down next to me?”
“I didn’t realize I sat down next to you. I can move?” I glanced down at all the empty bar stools. Moving wouldn’t be that bad of an idea.
“Nah, sweetheart.” He shook his head as if to say he wasn’t letting that happen. “So are you drinking hard because of a man?”
Well, I knew the answer to that, but I wasn’t going to tell him. So I shrugged my shoulders.
“Come on, a girl like you doesn’t have anything serious to worry about. Guessing your life is as hard as high school.” He cracked a big grin and arched his eyebrows. “I’m right, aren’t I?”
I scoffed. My life had more twists and turns than the average higher schooler. I put my hand up for a refill. I wasn’t surprised that this bartender hadn’t asked to see my ID. I think he literally didn’t give a fuck whether I was of age or not.
He filled up my glass and I threw it back. It burnt my throat and I enjoyed every second of it.
The temporary burn took my mind off my heart which was beating but was broken.
“You want to forget about your life for a night?”
I turned to face him so he had heart me say that. “Yeah, I do.”
“Could I tempt you over to the dark side for a night?” He looked up for the challenge, like getting me to follow him would fulfil some of his fantasies.
“How dark is the dark side?” I asked, tempted just to leave with him. One night. One night to escape from my life. I deserved that, right?
He leaned in closer. “As dark as you want it to be, sweetheart.”
I had a feeling he could take me to places I had never been and show me a side of life I knew nothing about. The side of life that is dark, cruel, and twisted. Just one look at him and you knew he had a criminal record.
Of course, that didn’t automatically make him a bad guy, or someone that would hurt me. Josh had a criminal record. I didn’t know what for, but he had showed me that it doesn’t mean someone is rotten to the core.
I got off my stool and stepped to his side. “I want it a sinister dark.” I had nothing to lose, and there was nothing holding me back. “Can you offer me that?”
The smirk on his face got larger. “Sweetheart, if you want dark, I’ll give you dark.”
I let him take my hand and he threw money down on the bar, more than enough to cover our drinks.
I never thought I’d be the type of girl to have a one-night stand. I never thought I’d be the type of girl to go over to the dark side. I knew Bax was dangerous. His tattoos showed a loyalty to something that I didn’t fully understand. But as we left the bar I knew, I just knew, that if I wasn’t careful tonight he wouldn’t just show me the dark side, he’d pull me into it altogether.
Chapter Ten
JOSH
Sometimes I hated being a vice president. Like right now when I couldn’t get Bax to concreate on what I was telling him. The man had been glued to his phone all week. I didn’t know who she was, but she had him more interested in writing back to her than listening to a word I had to say.
Bax had only got out of prison a few months before me. But on his parole condition he couldn’t be seen or near a criminal organisation. He was running our associates, taking a silent role in the club. He couldn’t wear club colours, couldn’t even ride his Harley without being pulled over.
So he was doing things he loved: drinking, handling dodgy deals, and partying. And it would seem he had a girl at the moment cause he was more interested in whatever she was saying than his monthly update with me.
“Bax, are you fucking listening to me!” I snapped at him.
His eyes slowly came off his phone and he looked at me with his normal pissed off glare. He didn’t like being told what to do, and he hated answering to me cause he had been a member longer. We were the same age though, so at least he wasn’t older. That would give him another weak excuse to disrespect me.
“You want me to collect rent from the other side of town.” He rolled his eyes. “Anything else, Vice?”
“Yeah, who is she?” I sn
apped asked, sick of his higher-than-me attitude. When it came down to it, I was the Vice President; he sure as fuck wasn’t, so he had to answer to me.
“No one.” He put his phone away, and here I was thinking it was glued to his hand.
“Thought you didn’t do girlfriends?” I crossed my arms, watching him squirm under my question.
“Mind your own business, Vice.”
“If you are bringing her into your life, you are bringing her into the club’s life.”
“Considering I’m currently doing the dirty work for the club and won’t be bringing her back to the club, I don’t see how it is any of your business.” He went to get up. “Tell Wolf I’ll do it. And when it comes to the women I fuck, mind your own fucking business.”
With that saidm he stormed off, like his normal pissed off self. I threw money down for our coffees and got up to leave. The reason I had to deal with Bax to begin with was because I wasn’t in the police’s eye line as a member. Sure, I was linked to them. But nobody knew I was the Vice President. Well, not yet, but it wasn’t going to stay a secret for much longer.
Now I had a family dinner to go to. I was being forced to attend because Mom had been complaining to Dad that she never sees me, which resulted in Dad doing something he hated doing, and that was calling me. He hated to ask anything of me. But he did it for Mom, and the only reason I agreed to it was because it would get her off my back for another few weeks.
I hadn’t been home much. The club has kept me busy. I had been coming home late and left early. It was for the best. That way I avoided Dad and Mom and my dickhead of a brother, Kyle.
I shot a glare at my brother who again tried to make conversation with Soph. My eyes went off Kyle and onto Soph. She had been giving him one word answers all night.
Seriously, could Kyle not get the hint she wasn’t interested?
My eyes hovered on Soph. She had always been the centre of conversation and she loved to talk. I swear she used to never shut up. When she wasn’t talking, she was laughing. And now… Now she couldn’t give my brother more than a one word answer. Even when Mom and Dad asked her how she was, she just said “fine.” Didn’t even do the polite thing, like the old Soph would have, and ask how they were.
I had the feeling she was sinking into depression. She looked withdrawn. Actually, when I thought about it more, Soph wasn’t her old self. It was like Kyle had broken her. I shot a glare at my brother. Only he could take a fucking perfect human being and ruin them.
Which was exactly what he had done.
I found myself wanting her to treat me differently. So I wondered if I spoke to her right now, would she block me out too.
I cleared my throat and sat up, my eyes on her. “So, Soph, how’s school?”
Her head snapped up, her eyes were wide as she looked at me, as if she’d misheard me.
“Um. It’s good, Josh.” She kept looking at me. “How are you?”
I smiled. She asked a question. I had got her to ask a question and it was directed at me.
“Good, Soph. Haven’t seen you about lately.”
Her phone buzzed on the table next to her plate. I did a double take when I saw that number and name on her screen. Bax. And I knew that number. I knew it so well cause I would glare at it for a few minutes every time I was forced to call him.
How the hell had she met him? Suddenly, her lack of conversation wasn’t such a serious issue. The more serious issue was who she was spending her time with. Bax was bad fucking news. Surely she wasn’t that stupid or blind she ignored that?
I was faced with a decision: let Soph into my world, tell her the truth about me, and tell her what Bax was like—and then protect her from him, or let her go into situation blind with a man who was deadly dangerous and never respected women.
I reached for my beer and kept my eyes on her as my mind jumbled around the facts. Admitting to her that I was the Vice President of the Devil’s Cut, a dangerous outlaw motorcycle group—well, I think whatever she thought of me would disappear immediately.
Seeing her disappointed in the way I lived my life bothered me. It got under my skin. Why did I care so much what she thought? I never cared what people thought. I didn’t even care what Dad’s opinion was of me. And he was my father.
I wondered why I was suddenly nervous about telling her who I really was and what I stood for. It sent wave after wave of nerves through me. Still, what could I do? Keep my secret just that, or risk it and let the only girl whose opinion I cared about know the type of guy I really was…
Chapter Eleven
Soph
I closed the front door. It was late. Once again Bax had kept me out all night. If I could, I would be smiling. Bax was carefree, funny, and I knew he was dangerous, but that didn’t scare me away.
I walked up the stairs slowly, stopping and taking my heels off halfway. My feet were aching. Bax decided for us to walk through the busy square. I looked at the long red stem rose in my hand.
I thought Bax would be a one night deal. But he was determined the morning after to get my number, and when we weren’t together he was always messaging me. I never had to start the messaging with him, it was like he knew when the perfect time was to send a message.
It was dark and I was heading for my room when I noticed Josh’s door open. His door was never open. I frowned and for some reason found myself heading for his room. I knew I shouldn’t bother him. I knew he wouldn’t like me in his room. But for some reason, I felt like something was calling me to go in there.
I knocked on the door softly. “Josh, you ok?”
It was dark, but I could make out a body on the bed. I heard a groan, and I walked to his bed, stepping over the clothes on the floor. Hid room was a mess. I dodged the crushed cans and empty bottles.
“Josh, are you ok?”
He groaned. Ok, I was taking that as a no.
“Josh?” I asked softly and moved next to his side of the bed. The curtains were open and the moonlight helped me to make out his figure, which was on the edge of the bed, a hand over his face. I lowered my voice in case he was hungover, “What’s wrong?”
His head turned and he took his hand off his face. “Migraine.” He sounded like he was in a lot of pain.
He used to get migraines when he was under stress. I noticed the bottles of pain relief next to his bedside. I knew Josh. He wouldn’t have had anything for it. Getting the bottles out was all he would have done. And that was a lot for Josh. He hated the medication cause it would linger in his system the next day.
I popped open the bottle and got him a dose out, grabbing an open beer bottle.
“Ok, I’m sorry about the warm beer, but you have to take this regardless.” I took his hand and put the pills in them. He slowly sat up and I saw how gingerly he did it.
He took the beer and through back the pills. I took it off him and headed for the bathroom.
I ran a face cloth under the cold water and headed back to his bedroom, dodging all the crap on the floor.
“You’re back?” He must have spotted me.
“Yeah, you are lucky I haven’t broken my neck in this room.” I got to his side and gently lifted his hand off and placed the towel down.
He sighed. I walked around to the other side of the bed. I had already abandoned my heels and I doubted I’d be able to find them later in this mess.
I laid down on his bed next to him.
“You don’t have to stay, Soph.” He turned and his voice was soft, as if he spoke any louder he’d be in pain.
I took his hand and started to massage it. The hand has trigger points to all over your body, My mum used to always massage my thumb whenever I had a headache; she believed it did something, and she was doctor. But if nothing else, it was relaxing.
“Soph, you can go.”
I just kept massaging his hand. “Stop telling me to leave and go to sleep.” The sooner he went to sleep the sooner he could recover. He knew that too.
He turned on his si
de to face me. “So how was your date?”
I frowned. I hadn’t told him I was going out with Bax tonight. No one knew about Bax. But when it came down to it, Bax and I weren’t dating. “Um, wasn’t on a date.” I kept massaging his hand. “Sorry I wasn’t home earlier. If I had been, you wouldn’t have suffered for so long.”
I felt guilty about not being home earlier. I hated the thought of Josh laying here in pain.
“I’m fine.”
“Sure you are.” I sighed and closed my eyes. I don’t know why, but when it came to Josh I felt comfortable. Like I could just do what I want in front of him and he wouldn’t judge. I wouldn’t call it a friendship—it was more than that. Like an unspoken bound of trust.
I turned around, placing my back against his chest while putting his arm around me and having his hand in mine massaging it. I didn’t feel like I was crossing a line. I didn’t even think about what it would mean to share the same bed as him. He didn’t push me away, or take his out of mine. Like I said, we had this unspoken trust between us.
I was so focused on the feel of his hand in mine, and massaging it, that at first I didn’t realize he had slipped his arm under my head. For some reason I felt so relaxed, so calm, and this felt so right. I trusted him as I lay on his arm, and he pulled me back into his chest, as I kept his hand in mine.
I didn’t feel like I was crossing a boundary by falling asleep next to him, in his bed. If anything I felt safe.
So I didn’t fight it when the need for sleep crept up on me. Didn’t think, fuck it, I should go to my room. Nope. I stayed and fell asleep in his bed, on his arm.
JOSH
Sophia was beautiful. I don’t think she realized how beautiful she was. She was the type of beautiful that you would do anything for, just to please her. Wasn’t just her looks that had you begging to please her. It was her personality.
But right now, I couldn’t get over how beautiful she was.
