Dirty Lies

by Lush, Tamara

  I tried to breathe as I listened to the words. As I stared into Skylar's blue eyes, for long quiet seconds my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest it was pounding so hard.

  Mercifully, the teacher asked us to lie down in final relaxation on their mats.

  We sprawled next to each other, and I reached for her hand. The teacher told us to empty their minds of thoughts, but I was filled with them. I tried to breathe my way through the anxiety and remind myself to focus on the moment.

  Not the past. Or the future.

  When class ended, Skylar was in a bubbly mood. She was so tempting in her ponytail, little black shorts and matching tank top. With a breathy voice, she leaned in close to my ear.

  "Want to come back to my place?"

  It took me about a half-second to say yes.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Destroyed

  SKYLAR

  From the parking lot of my building, I skipped up the stairs to my condo with Luca close behind. At the top, he grabbed me around the waist and pressed my body into the wall.

  This was the perfect moment. Us, doing things together. Us, laughing. Us, kissing.

  "I don't think I can go to yoga with you again. You were too sexy. You don't know what it's like to do a downward dog with a hard-on," he groaned.

  We were near the door of my elderly neighbor, and I giggled, hoping no one would poke a head out and see him sinking his teeth into my neck.

  "That's not a very mindful thing to do, biting me like a vampire."

  I felt the same way. It had been difficult to concentrate during class because he looked so sexy and strong when in a handstand, his triceps hard and sculpted. He really had incredible arms. And legs. And…yeah. Everything about him was too good to be true.

  Which is why I was trying to approach tonight with a cool, even head and not through the prism of lust. It had been so intense practicing next to him, but I reined in my emotions now that we were at my condo.

  He squeezed my hand, and I led him down the interior corridor, then we tumbled inside my house. I flipped a light switch on the wall.

  "Where did you learn yoga? You were really good." I locked the door. My question stopped him from nibbling on my neck.

  "I've traveled a lot. I…I spent three months in India at an ashram about nine months ago."

  Interesting. So, he'd done that after his parents died? When was he going to tell me all this? I wondered if now was the time to ask him about his family, and how his parents died. I opened my mouth, but he spoke first.

  "I'm kind of sweaty. Let's shower together."

  He pressed me against the door and gave me a long, sensual kiss. While letting out a little growl of approval, he undid my ponytail and threaded his fingers through my hair.

  "Wait." I wriggled my face away from his lips. "I want to ask you something else."

  “Mmmhmm.” He kissed the palm of my hand, then dotted my arm with kisses, making my skin sparkle. It was as if he was intentionally trying to distract me with his sexiness.

  "I thought you didn't like bars. Didn't feel comfortable in them. Why did you show up at Bacchus last night?"

  Flashing a sly smile, Luca shrugged. "To kiss you."

  "You wanted to kiss me, or you wanted to see who I was with?"

  He backed up and held his hand out, pushing the air with his palm. "Relax, Skylar. Relax. Maybe a little of both."

  I wasn't sure what to make of his answer. I also wasn't sure if I liked his possessiveness. Or maybe I did, and that didn't sit well with me either. Why did he bring out every complicated and conflicting emotion?

  "Why would you care who I was with if you made it clear you weren't interested in a relationship?"

  Luca stepped back about a foot, biting his lip. "I do care who you're with. You wanted me to be with just you, right? But I just don't want to talk about our situation, about us. It's easier this way."

  "Easier for you, maybe."

  "It's not easy for me." He stared at my tile floor.

  "Why are you doing this to me?"

  "Doing what?" Luca asked, shaking his head.

  "This…these…sexy things. Like last night at the bar. No one's ever treated me that way." I wasn't sure if I was complaining, acknowledging, or encouraging. Or all three. Dammit.

  We stared at each other. I couldn't read his expression.

  "A physical relationship is all I'm capable of, Sky. I can't give you anything more right now because it's so complicated. I can't give you a future."

  Wow. Well, that hurts.

  Even if he'd said as much before, a lump of sadness welled up in my chest. I didn't like it underlined. Though, I supposed I was pushing. But I couldn't help myself. Pushing, questioning, was second nature.

  "Complicated how? You seem pretty perfect to me."

  Luca shook his head and looked at me with anguish. "Skylar, please. No questions. Please."

  "What if I want a future? What if I need one?"

  Luca reached out and his index finger brushed a wisp of hair out of my face. The gesture made me tremble. His previous words and that one gentle move broke my resolve to demand more answers. Hadn't I already agreed to his terms? Why change our agreement now?

  I leaned into him, brushing his earlobe with my lips. He responded with a soft sigh.

  "Luca, let's forget about the questions and just get in the shower. I think we do better when we're not talking."

  I pulled him into the bathroom and shut the door, reminding myself for the millionth time this was a casual fling and it would lead to nothing, no matter how much I wanted it to.

  And hadn't I said yes to that? Wasn't I mature enough to take this for what it was, assuming we were both straightforward with each other? Maybe I was only good for sex and nothing else. At least James was wrong and I was good at that…to Luca anyway.

  Turning on the shower and testing the water for warmth, my mood was melancholic. When was I going to take control of my own pleasure? When would I stop allowing a man to dictate when, where and how I enjoyed myself sexually? Maybe now was that time. Maybe Emily was right. Maybe Luca did have a purpose in my life: to show me that I could enjoy sex without strings, without emotions. That's what he wanted, so why couldn't I as well?

  In many ways, sex was so much easier for guys.

  I roughly pulled his shirt over his head and yanked his shorts and briefs down. Pure carnal contact and nothing more—that's what I wanted. Or told myself I wanted.

  The encounter in the bar the previous night and the way he'd moved sensually at yoga, like a big, predatory cat, had left me craving his body.

  Enough with feelings.

  With equal urgency, he peeled off my clothes. With half-lidded eyes, he ran his hands down my chest and whispered something in Italian.

  I felt weak and powerless, almost as much as when I'd been with James. That was silly, perhaps, because Luca had been nothing but respectful, so maybe I should allow myself to go a little further with him, explore other things I'd been afraid of doing…just to see if I could without an explosion of emotion.

  Luca tried to kiss me, but I shook my head and stepped into the shower, pulling him in after me. He tried kissing me again, but I shifted away.

  "No. Let me do what I want with you." I poured jasmine-scented bath soap into the palm of my hand. With shaky legs, I ran my sudsy hands over Luca's chest, caressing his solid chest and the ridges of his stomach.

  He tilted his head back and let the water run over his forehead and dark hair while I knelt down. My eyes turned upward, and the look of surprise and sheer pleasure on his face was so satisfying, I vowed to enjoy him and his body as long as I could.

  "Do you see what you've done?" he growled, tugging at his erection a little. "See what you do to me?"

  I licked and teased and sucked. Luca gasped and steadied himself with one hand on the tiled wall and the other on the shower door.

  It made me feel powerful to turn him on so much. James had always been luk
ewarm when I tried to take charge in this way, and he'd said I had "bad form." As if I were performing.

  From the sound of Luca's moans, he obviously didn't think my form was bad.

  Gently touching my wet head, Luca looked down. "My God, you're amazing."

  I opened my mouth wide to take him in, and squeezed his thighs with my hands. I wanted to give him pleasure that sliced into his heart the way my own had the other night in his apartment. He let out a long, exhaled groan, cupping the back of my head with his hand as he finished.

  I slid up his body and kissed him hard. He leaned against the tile of the shower and reached for me, his hands shaking before they cupped my face.

  "You're going to destroy me, amore mio. I hope you know that."

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Falling

  LUCA

  Skylar woke up looking like a sleepy kitten, and I turned to brush her messy hair from her face so I could kiss her skin. Christ, she smelled good even upon waking up, faintly of that shampoo in her bathroom.

  "Mmmm, how long have you been up?" she asked, burrowing into the covers and pillow. Her voice sounded gravelly and tired.

  We'd been up late talking about everything from the new Dr. Who series to debating whether Wikileaks or Woodward and Bernstein had more of an impact on American history. We'd also fooled around, and I'd teased her all night, giving her two orgasms with my fingers. She'd stopped me from tasting her, which drove me wild with pent-up need.

  "For about an hour. Since the sun came up."

  It was seven in the morning. I was sitting in Skylar's bed reading one of her books. In Cold Blood by Truman Capote. Something I'd always wanted to read.

  She peeled back the sheet and duvet and made her way to the bathroom. "Great book. Wanna borrow it?"

  "I'd love to, thanks," I said, calling after her, captivated by her naked ass.

  When she came back into the bedroom we kissed. She tasted like mint and smelled like the orange blossom perfume that I loved. She must've spritzed some on just now.

  I shut the book, setting it on the nightstand, then kissed her more. I couldn't stop kissing her. Of course, I was hard again. What I really wanted was to be inside her, but didn't want to pressure her. She was close, so close, to letting her guard down.

  I wondered if I would be in love with her by the time she did.

  The thought was shocking, making me slow our kiss. Could I be falling in love? Did love happen just like that—when one least expected it, at the worst possible moment?

  "Hey," I whispered. "You didn't let me reciprocate last night."

  She smiled. "You did. I love when you touch me."

  "But I want to taste you. Please?"

  She bit her bottom lip and nodded. "Wait. Let me take this off." she wriggled out of her tank top. I practically dove for her breasts, sucking on one nipple until it tightened in my mouth then turning my attention to the other as she made little moaning noises.

  "My panties. Off."

  I sat up and grinned, tugging her underwear down and tossing them aside when they were free from her legs. "I love it when you tell me what to do."

  She opened her legs wide. Her skin was the color of cream, the hue of the sensual women I'd seen on Renaissance frescoes in churches back home. When I scanned her body, my gaze stopped between her legs.

  "Bella, bella, bella," I whispered, looking at her with adoration and stroking her inner thighs. "You have such a beautiful pussy."

  Skylar gasped, and then giggled. "Oh my God. Did you really just say that? No one has ever said that to me. I didn't think men actually said things like that."

  "I said it, and I meant it." Leaning forward, I pressed my mouth into the smooth skin above her bellybutton, and she shuddered with pleasure as I gently bit her smooth skin. While I touched and kissed down her body, a trail of goosebumps sprang up in my wake. Her orange blossom scent was both intoxicating and familiar, and I realized why I loved the way she smelled.

  It made me remember springtime at my grandparents' citrus grove back in Italy when I was a kid.

  Skylar smells like home…

  I closed my eyes and nuzzled her flesh, awash in pleasures past and present. I couldn't get enough of her. I slipped a finger inside her tight wetness, then knelt to look at her beautiful body.

  "You feel so good, amore mio." I faintly registered I'd started calling her such an intimate name. "So fucking incredible."

  I withdrew my finger and parted her folds, bowing my head to her. She moaned and put her hand on my head. She still seemed a little hesitant when my tongue touched her most sensitive spot.

  "Do I taste okay?"

  Circling her with my tongue, I teased the entrance to her core with my fingertip, then licked in the same place. I lifted my head and grinned. "More than okay, mia bella ragazza. Delizioso. Delicious."

  She inhaled loudly and grabbed my hair by the fistful. Bit by bit, I slid my finger deep inside of her, tantalizing her, moving slowly. The tip curved slightly upward as her hips tilted and bucked. She pressed against my mouth, getting wetter by the second.

  "Another, Luca. Put another finger inside."

  I pressed my forehead to her thigh and stopped licking her for a few seconds to steel myself, for my need was so great. Extreme, even.

  I wanted something other than my fingers inside of her. And yet, I'd made a promise. She'd be the one to decide when we'd finally have sex.

  I had to keep this promise, even if it killed me.

  Never had my cock been so hard and never had I wanted any woman this much. I slipped another finger in, and the erotic connection between us slowed, expanded, exploded.

  My thumb rubbed her clit slowly, forcefully. I moved my fingers inside of her, my chest tightening, aching, from blind need. Watching her flutter her eyes shut, her mouth in a perfect 'O' shape, was enough to make me beg her in desperation.

  Beg for sex, for love, for her soul.

  "Is this okay? You're tight, amore mio."

  "I love it," she whispered. "And I love it when you call me amore mio."

  I lowered my mouth again to her wetness. With several forceful flicks of his tongue, Sky cried out, loud. It didn't take much to make her come, and the release was so beautiful to feel and watch. Her flesh contracted and pulsed.

  She tugged me up by my hair and put her arms around me. "Never… I've never come that way…"

  Her voice trailed off, and I felt her heartbeat. Erratic and fast. Or maybe it was mine. Pressing my lips to her forehead, I fantasized about us staying in bed all day, in our own sex bubble.

  "Tu sei un angelo perfetto."

  Skylar opened her eyes and looked around, dazed. "What does that mean?"

  "Sorry, amore mio. You are a perfect angel."

  After several drowsy moments in my arms, she sighed. "I need to get to work."

  She showered, and I paused before putting on my shirt and shorts from the previous night's yoga class. Should I join her in the shower? No, that would only distract her. I'd shower when I got home. In her small kitchen, I made a pot of weak American coffee and then sat on the sofa reading In Cold Blood.

  Skylar came out wearing a silk, long-sleeved cream-colored blouse and a camel-colored skirt. Her flats matched her skirt and her hair was pulled back into a casual ponytail, her pouty lips pink with gloss.

  Her beauty stole the breath from my lungs.

  I didn't deserve such a sweet, innocent woman.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Spill

  SKYLAR

  "Skylar. Skylar. Did you bring a story to critique? Hello? Skylar?"

  I snapped to attention.

  "Um, Jill. I'm sorry. Let me look. I think I have one at my desk."

  I jumped up and ran back to my cubicle. I couldn't concentrate on anything, and all because of Luca. Usually I loved the paper's weekly writing critique session, but today it had slipped my mind. Jill did this every Friday at lunch in an attempt to make us better writers. Us reporters read the
first five paragraphs of our stories aloud and we'd critique each other's work, and then Jill would talk about what worked and what didn't.

  I grabbed a recent story and went back to the meeting.

  "Sorry." I slipped into a chair next to Emily, who kicked me under the table, gave me a side-eye followed by a shit-eating grin. I ignored her and doodled in a notebook while Jill talked about crafting a good newspaper intro.

  After the meeting, Jill asked me to stay behind.

  Hell.

  "Skylar, you did an excellent job with the Rossi story, but lately you've been a little distant. Disengaged. Anything wrong?"

  Jill's green eyes were searching, and I shook my head. Would she understand if I admitted to being lovesick over a beautiful, secretive Italian man? No, that definitely wasn't a conversation I should have with an editor.

  I needed to get my shit together. That's all.

  "Sorry. Nothing's wrong. I've got some good stories in the works."

  Jill nodded. "Good. I really want to see you succeed, Sky."

  "Thank you," I said softly. "I'll step it up."

  I walked back into the newsroom, dread settling in my stomach as I sat in my tattered, sagging office chair. Luca had worked his way into every fiber of my body, all while admitting that our relationship couldn't go anywhere.

  I needed to unravel him from my life. Being a journalist was all I'd ever wanted, and I'd be damned if I would let a man screw it up. I was stronger than that.

  Emily sidled up and leaned against my desk, shoving aside a stack of papers. "Sky, wanna come with us to the Iguana tonight?"

  I shook her head. "Luca and I—"

  Emily interrupted and held up her hand. "Say no more. I saw you spacing out during the meeting and doodling in your notebook. Were those little hearts?"

  "Oh God, was I that obvious?"

  Emily nodded and cackled.