About Last Summer

by Patricia B Tighe

  I tested the water with my hand. Finally, finally, it was hot enough. I got in, pulled the curtain closed, and stood under a spray of water that felt like needles against my body. When the sob welled up, I let it out. I hunched over, letting the tears spill from my eyes, the pain seep from my chest.

  Stupid, stupid Noah. Why did he have to kiss me? Why couldn’t he have just left things the way they were? Why had I kissed him back? I turned and let the water soak into my hair.

  Why did he have to keep harping on what happened last year? Why couldn’t he just forget it? Let the past be the past. I grabbed the shampoo bottle, squirted some into my palm, and then banged the bottle back on the side of the tub. I lathered the shampoo through my hair, again feeling Noah’s hands as they held my head. More tears mingled with the water on my face. And why did he have to be so totally sweet?

  I choked back a sound that felt like it might turn into a scream of frustration. He still liked me. I still liked him—more than liked. And I was going to have to end it all again. I turned to rinse my hair, gulping in a huge breath. Something squeezed my chest, making it hard to breathe. Noah had questions, lots of questions. And I would have to answer them. It was only fair. It was the only way it could truly be over.

  I slapped conditioner on my hair and worked it in. But did it have to be over? We were both a year older, more mature, and more capable of making things work. Weren’t we? We could see each other on weekends—though I couldn’t imagine my parents letting me drive to San Antonio alone, even though I was seventeen. And what about Noah’s parents? I only knew they were both doctors. Would they let him come see me?

  I turned to rinse out the conditioner. But what would he think once he was around my everyday life? I wasn’t Miss Amazing Actress from drama camp. I wasn’t even Gabriela, the mysterious girl from Spain. I was just plain, ordinary Gabby, who didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life, whose parents were pressuring her into school courses she didn’t want to take. Boring Gabby, who had stage fright. I wasn’t particularly good at anything. Not drama or sports like Kenzie or even academics like my older brothers. Okay, maybe not true, I got decent enough grades.

  It was obvious what Noah would think. Thanks, but no thanks. You’re not who I thought you were. Buh-bye.

  I soaped myself and rinsed, and then turned off the water. I might be plain ole Gabby, with no particular goal in life and a torn heart in my chest, but at least I had clean hair. Ha. Hilarious. Just hilarious.

  I dried off quickly, decided to skip the mousse for my curls, and then drew on the bathrobe that hung on a hook on the door. Kenzie’s aunt and uncle thought of everything.

  I came out of the bathroom to find Kenzie lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. She rolled to a sitting position, and then scooted back so she could lean against the headboard. “All cried out?”

  I dropped onto my bed. “I think so.”

  “Noah?”

  “Yeah. I’m falling for him again.”

  “Crap.”

  “I know. And I’m gonna have to end it.”

  Kenzie cocked her head. “I want to say, do you really have to? But then I think about Dylan, and I know exactly what you mean.”

  I flipped my damp hair over my shoulders. “I don’t know how to do it, Kenz. I hate seeing him unhappy. I hate being the cause of it. I hate how much it’s going to hurt both of us.”

  “Can’t hurt any more than it already does, right?”

  I pressed a hand against my stomach. “I don’t know. It might.”

  “You just have to talk to him. You can’t hide like last year. Especially since now he knows how to find you.”

  A desperate-sounding laugh escaped my lips. “You’re right.” I stared unseeing across the room, guilt rising in my throat. “Though I could never do that to him again. I had no idea how bad I hurt him.”

  Kenzie let out a long sigh. “You were hurt too.”

  I waved the comment away.

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  “Ha,” I said, then fell silent. After a long moment, I met Kenzie’s gaze. “I have to face him.”

  “You do.”

  “And tell him it won’t work.”

  “Yup.”

  “Even though I wish it could.”

  Kenzie released a loud laugh and picked up the blue hand therapy ball sitting on the nightstand. She squeezed it in one hand then the other before tossing it up in the air and catching it.

  I couldn’t keep from smiling. “What?”

  “You’re as hopeless as I am. I have no idea what to do about Dylan.”

  “Has he talked about dating?”

  She worked the ball between her fingers. “No, but he has that look in his eyes.”

  “Geez.”

  Kenzie shook her head. “I know, right? Boys.”

  We laughed, even though part of me felt like crying. Still chuckling, Kenzie returned the ball to the nightstand, and then got up and pulled pajamas from her suitcase. “I’m going to change,” she said, heading for the bathroom.

  “Oh, one more thing,” I said.

  “Yeah?”

  “Haley caught Noah and me together. So, um, Gabriela may be history.”

  Kenzie froze. “Tell me everything.”

  Noah

  I stared at Haley, trying to read her expression in the dark. No good. “Um …”

  “I said, are you hooking up with Gabriela?” Her voice made it clear she thought I was a couple of jacks short of a full deck.

  I glanced over my shoulder. Was Gabby listening somewhere? Or had she gone? It really didn’t matter. I wouldn’t give away her secret. “I wouldn’t call it that.”

  “Well, what would you call it?”

  I had to work to keep my patience. “Haley, this really isn’t your business.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “What?”

  “My best friend is madly in love with you. That makes it my business.”

  The whole Amanda situation had become officially ridiculous. I started to walk past her, but she caught my elbow. I scowled, and she let go. “Look,” I said in a low voice, “it isn’t your business and Amanda isn’t in love with me. She doesn’t even know me that well.”

  It was as if she hadn’t even heard me. “How could you do this to her?”

  “What’re you talking about?”

  “How could you hook up with a girl you’ll never see again after this week when an awesome girl who’s crazy about you would happily—”

  “Stop. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Excuse me?”

  I almost laughed out loud but knew that would make the situation even worse. She just looked so funny, standing there with her hands in fists and all that righteous pissed-offness in her voice. I rubbed my hand across my mouth. “I’m going inside.”

  She moved to block my path. “Not until you promise to stay away from Gabriela.”

  I laughed. “You’re nuts.”

  “Don’t laugh at me.”

  “I’m not. I just can’t believe you’re saying all this crap.”

  “I never thought you were a jerk, but I’ve just changed my mind.”

  I’d had enough. I clenched my jaw, then said something I probably should’ve said months ago. “Let me be totally clear. I’ll be eighteen in September. There is no way, no way, I’m dating someone who’s barely fourteen years old. I’m not interested. And it would be completely uncool anyway.” Had a gasp come from the back deck? A squeak from one of the floorboards confirmed it. I swore under my breath. Amanda had been listening.

  “Nice one, jackass,” Haley said before storming off to the back deck.

  I stared into the darkness after her. Should I follow and try to apologize to Amanda? What could I possibly say that would make it any better? Sorry you heard that, but I meant every word. Yeah, no.

  I turned and followed the path Gabby had taken. Geoff was going to kill me.

  Gabby

  Th
e next morning, I looked away from Amanda’s glare and down at my Robin Hood hat, which held my lines. It was almost my turn. I needed to focus. To ignore the anger Amanda and Haley dished out. To ignore Noah’s secret glances. There was way too much angst in the rehearsal, and my feet felt jittery on the plywood stage. Probably because I wanted to run down the driveway and into the mountains.

  “Gabriela?” Kenzie prompted.

  “Oh. I am sorry,” I said, trying to maintain my Gabriela persona. I gazed at Geoff, who waited with a stupid grin on his face. Guess he couldn’t get enough of words of undying love. “Dearest Bill, this cannot be a surprise to you. Surely you’ve seen my feelings in my eyes.”

  Geoff removed the smirk from his face long enough to say his line. “No. I never dared dream, so I could not see. You must give me time to consider the possibilities.”

  Kenzie, in her role as the beast, came storming up to us. “Enough of this romantic claptrap! Bill knows my heart and what is expected. At least, he does if he knows what’s good for him.” And then she growled. She actually growled.

  “Oh, I’m torn by indecision,” Geoff said, the back of his hand artfully placed on his forehead.

  I clamped my lips together so I wouldn’t laugh. That makes two of us, buddy.

  “It’s okay to laugh, Gabriela,” Geoff said, letting his hand drop to his side. “That’s why I’m acting like this.”

  “But not unless I am in the audience, yes?”

  Amanda mumbled something that sounded like, “Oh, brother,” but I couldn’t be sure. I stayed focused on Geoff.

  “Good point,” he said. “Now, where were we?”

  “The traveling merchants arrive,” Dylan said before Kenzie could speak.

  “Right,” Kenzie said. “You bang the side of your cart so the people will come out to look at your wares.”

  “My wares?” Dylan smiled at her. Super slowly. Then he opened and shut his mouth like he was about to say something, but then changed his mind. He smiled again. Whew. I fanned myself with the Robin Hood hat. If the looks he gave Kenzie got any hotter, my friend was going to burst into flames.

  Kenzie put her hands on her hips. “You know. The stuff you’re trying to sell.”

  Geoff snorted. “Yeah, Dylan, what’re you selling?”

  Dylan didn’t even glance at him. He only had eyes for Kenzie. “The usual. Pots, pans, love potions from exotic places.”

  Haley, who was playing another merchant, giggled.

  Kenzie looked up at the ceiling and then back at him, a tiny smile on her face. “Let’s get back to it. We’re almost done.” She checked her script. “Butler, you’re up.”

  Amanda scowled at the floor, but she left her place against the wall of the set and leaned out the pretend open door. “Be gone with you,” she said in such a monotone that even Geoff turned to her.

  “C’mon, Amanda,” he said. “Give it a little more than that.”

  “Be gone with you!” she shouted.

  So okay, that was over the top. Geoff frowned but didn’t say anything. In fact, no one spoke. They stared at Amanda, who glared back at no one in particular. “What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice full of venom. “Not good enough for you?”

  Silence. People looked at the floor, at the wall, at their props. I wished I knew what to say, how to help Amanda. But I didn’t know exactly what she’d been told about Noah and me. The moment stretched out like a long thin wire about to snap. Then Molly got up from the floor where she’d been sketching. “I think we’re done for now, Kenzie,” she said. “We still have a lot to do to get ready for Geoff’s party.” Which I didn’t think was true, but it was a good save.

  The tension in the room ran out like air released from a balloon.

  “Yes, my party,” Geoff said. “Finally, the focus shall be back where it belongs—on me.”

  Kenzie’s lips pressed together, but she folded the script and stuck it under her arm. “Right, okay. It’s eleven-thirty now. Geoff, you’ll have to occupy yourself until two. You can’t start your scavenger hunt until then, or you’ll find the party too soon.”

  Geoff jumped off the stage platform. “I don’t know why you have to send me off all alone. And on my birthday.” He made a pouty face, and Molly gave him a quick kiss.

  “You don’t have to go alone,” she said.

  His face lit up. “I don’t?”

  “No, you can take the guys with you,” she said.

  At the look on his face, several people laughed. “But I wanted you,” he said.

  Molly eyed him seriously. “I have to make sure they don’t screw up your party, remember?”

  “Oh, right. I forgot.”

  They were both so straight-faced that I stared at them until I finally saw the corner of Molly’s mouth twitch. It was so hard to tell when people here were trying to be funny.

  I stepped down from the stage, careful not to look at Noah or Amanda, who joined the others heading into the house. I walked out of the garage. White, fluffy clouds were passing over the sun, but I still had to squint as I gazed at the mountains in the distance. They seemed gargantuan—impossible to cross. Just like any upcoming conversation with Noah might be. How could I possibly get through everything that needed to be said and still make it out the other side?

  And almost as if I’d dragged him out of the house with my thoughts, Noah appeared beside me. “Hey,” he said. Dark gray swooshes circled under his blue eyes. Had he been awake most of the night like I had?

  “Hey,” I said.

  “Want to go for a walk?”

  “Sure. But I need to change shoes.” I lifted one flip-flop clad foot.

  “We could stick to the lawn.”

  “But then everybody could see us.”

  He let out a loud breath. We stared straight ahead as if we were just chatting about the scenery. But the inch or so of space between us simmered. I was being drawn toward him like he was a giant magnet. Each fraction of an inch brought me closer. And closer.

  I couldn’t let myself lean against him. Not when Amanda might be watching from some hidden spot. I stepped a foot away. Noah chuckled. “You feel it too?” he asked in a low voice.

  I refused to admit it. “What happened with Haley last night?” I whispered.

  The smile left his face. “She thinks I’m being an ass.” He kicked at the gravel with the toe of his sneaker. “Don’t know how much of the argument Amanda heard, but she did hear the part where I said I’d never date a fourteen-year-old.”

  “Ouch. No wonder she hates me.”

  “Nah. She hates Gabriela.”

  “Oh. So you didn’t explain—” I waved a hand from him to me. “—us?”

  His expression softened, his look so gentle that sudden tears burned my eyes. I looked away, blinking them back. “I like that word,” he whispered. “Us.”

  I couldn’t look at him. Not when he was staring in a way that made me want to rip my heart out of my chest and hand it to him. All tied up with a pink ribbon. I licked my lips. I had to get away from the heavy stuff. I tried to put humor in my voice. “So she thinks I’m just some Spanish skank?”

  Noah stepped nearer. “Let’s go someplace,” he said, his voice all husky.

  I couldn’t help it. Not when he used that voice. I swayed toward him, and he put a hand on my shoulder. “I—”

  “Jernigan!” Geoff’s voice echoed through the garage.

  We turned. Geoff stood in the doorway, smiling at us. He waved a cookie in the air. “Let’s shoot some baskets before lunch.”

  Noah let his hand fall away. “Now?”

  “Yup, we won’t have time later.” He grinned like he knew exactly what he’d interrupted. “Gabriela, Kenzie is wondering where you are. She’s in the kitchen.”

  “I’ll be right there,” Noah said.

  Geoff bit into his cookie and chewed happily.

  “Bye, Geoff,” Noah said. “I need a minute.”

  He laughed but went back inside.

  No
ah stepped back and dug his hands into his pockets. “When can we talk?”

  A wave of cool air made me shiver. Or maybe it was the loss of his nearness. “After lunch?”

  He glanced at the empty doorway and then leaned in close. “Don’t forget,” he said, his light breath tickling my skin.

  I tilted my head toward the door. “You go ahead. I’ll wait a couple of minutes.”

  “Got it.” He gave me a rueful smile, then went into the house.

  I wrapped my arms around myself. I was not looking forward to that talk, but it had to happen. I had to answer his questions. Had to make it clear that I didn’t think the relationship could continue. He wasn’t going to be happy, but then, neither was I.

  Noah

  “Pass me the chips,” Geoff said, holding out a hand.

  “Please,” his mom said from the other end of the table, but Haley had already passed the bag over to him.

  He grinned at her. “Thanks.”

  “Hopeless, just hopeless,” Gamma said.

  Geoff’s smile only grew wider. “Would you like a chip, Gamma?”

  Her gaze flicked to Geoff’s mom. “Not right now, thank you.”

  Lunch was winding down with still no sign of Gabby and Kenzie. They’d taken the car about an hour and a half earlier, right when we started playing basketball. It was one thirty. If they didn’t make it back soon, Gabby and I wouldn’t have any time to talk before I had to join Geoff on his scavenger hunt.

  I forced myself to stop looking out at the front driveway and found Amanda staring at me from the other end of the table. She turned away immediately, her face emotionless. Guilt rose to my throat again. Should I talk to her? Apologize for what I said to Haley? It was really hard to say you were sorry when deep down you really weren’t. I was glad she’d finally gotten the message. I’d just screwed up the way I delivered it.