About Last Summer

by Patricia B Tighe

  Noah

  Gabby paused. A slight frown came and went on her face. “I’ve been looking for you.”

  Really? Seemed more like you’ve been avoiding me. But I probably shouldn’t start our talk with a fight. “Here I am.”

  She climbed three more steps. “Do you … where do you want to talk?” She twisted to point downstairs.

  “No,” I said. “Why don’t you come up here? It’d be nice not to be interrupted.”

  “Okay.” When she reached the top, I stepped back. She wore a determined look as though she’d come to a decision and was going to see it through to the end.

  My stomach slowly sank to my feet. That was not what I wanted to see.

  “In here,” she said and turned toward the room she shared with Kenzie.

  I followed her in, not closing the door all the way in case Geoff’s parents caught us. I didn’t know if they’d freak out about it or not.

  Gabby straightened after turning on the lamp that sat on a nightstand between the twin beds. She threaded her fingers together and then twisted them. “So, do you want to start or …”

  All of a sudden I couldn’t speak. Not with her standing there looking shy and vulnerable. I wanted to hug her, not question her. But I had to. I had to know what happened last summer.

  I must have been quiet for so long she figured I wanted her to start. She tried to clear her throat, but it came out as a cough. “Before we say anything else,” she said, “I want to apologize. I treated you really badly last year, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it.” Her gaze fell to the floor. “I guess I didn’t think you cared that much, and it wouldn’t bother you for long.”

  I was startled into speaking. “You thought I didn’t care?” I asked hoarsely. “I told you I loved you.”

  A light flush colored her cheeks. “I know. I just didn’t—”

  “You didn’t believe me.” At her quick nod, I turned away and paced the six-foot space of carpet not occupied with suitcases, shoes, and empty shopping bags. My heart had gone leaden in my chest, weighing me down, slowing my steps. After half a minute or so, I stopped. “You didn’t trust me.”

  She moved to the foot of the bed. “No, but Noah, we’d only known each other for three weeks. I barely knew more than you were fun to be around, your parents were doctors, and they weren’t excited you’d gone to drama camp.”

  “Really. That’s all you got after three weeks of talking and laughing together?” I ran a hand through my hair. “Guess I’m not very interesting.”

  She shook her head. “Don’t throw a pity party. Of course, I know other things about you.” She lifted a hand to tick items off on her fingers. “You love donuts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You’re an amazing musician. You’re sweet and considerate, have two older brothers, and love double-fudge brownies.

  “It just wasn’t enough,” she continued. “Don’t you see that? We hadn’t known each other long enough.”

  My heart burst back to life, banging so hard it echoed in my ears. “That’s what dating is for,” I said, trying not to clench my teeth. “You spend time together. You learn new things about each other. More than just knowing your favorite cereal is Honey Nut Cheerios and that you’re a fantastic actress, and that for some strange reason you get stage fright.” She stared back, her face a mix of frustration and pleading. I wanted to shake her, to make her understand. “The only reason I don’t know more about you, Gabby, is because you won’t let me!”

  I practically shouted the last four words. And because it was just my luck, the door swung open. Amanda stood there, her gaze moving from one of us to the other, not looking hurt and angry like before, but confused. I dragged in a breath, about to ask her to go away, but she stepped back and shut the door. Whatever. I’d deal with Amanda’s feelings later.

  Gabby sighed long and loud and then sank onto one of the twin beds. She leaned forward and dropped her head in her hands. All I wanted was to comfort her. I was so completely pathetic. But I had to forge ahead. “Why did you disappear? If you wanted to break it off so badly, why didn’t you just tell me?”

  She lifted her head. “I didn’t want to break up. I thought I had to.”

  I waited, forcing myself to stay where I was and not move any closer.

  The moment stretched until finally, she whispered, “I couldn’t tell you. I was afraid you’d try to talk me out of it.”

  That, at least, made sense. “You were right.” My thoughts and emotions swirled so fast I couldn’t pin anything down. I paced to the door and then back again. “Okay, help me understand this. You broke up with me because we didn’t know each other well enough. Is that right?”

  “And we didn’t live close enough to get to know each other better.”

  “You know this makes no sense, right? There’s got to be another reason.”

  She stood. “Why? Why does there have to be another reason?” She strode to the window and twisted the rod to close the blinds. Then she faced me with her arms crossed over her chest.

  “Because I would’ve driven to see you every weekend. We could’ve stayed together, and then we would’ve gotten to know each other better, and there goes your argument.” I waved my hand like something flying away.

  She scowled. “Seeing each other every weekend is a fairy tale. It never would’ve happened like that, and you know it.” She marched up to me, her eyes glittering with tears. “We would’ve been apart, and you would’ve gotten bored, and the whole relationship would’ve fizzled out.”

  “I wouldn’t have gotten bored.”

  “You don’t know that!” She wasn’t yelling, but every word cut like a knife. “How can you say that like you’re so sure?”

  “How can you? You’ve concocted this whole fantasy where I get bored with you, but I have no idea why.”

  “Because that’s how things always work out for me.” She swiped a tear off her face. “Don’t ask me why. They just do.”

  She started to turn, but I caught her shoulders, pulled her against my chest, and wrapped my arms around her. “Gabby,” I whispered.

  She shuddered out a long breath and relaxed against me. I didn’t know what was happening. Didn’t understand exactly what she was going through. All I knew was that I was holding her and her arms had slipped around to my back, and I couldn’t think straight. Her warmth, her softness slid past the confusion in my mind to where my heart lay waiting. I pressed my lips to the top of her head and just held on.

  I didn’t know how long we stood like that; it seemed like a cross between two seconds and two hours. I didn’t want to let go. If I was holding her, then nothing else mattered. Not my confusion or her fear. But she loosened her grip and straightened, so I released her. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, kinda. Maybe.” She let out a breathy laugh. “I’m kind of a mess. I’d run if I were you.”

  I decided to treat that comment seriously. “I’m not going anywhere. Unless you absolutely want me to. Okay?” I hunched down to get a better look at her eyes. They looked bleak, but there were no more tears.

  “Okay.” She slipped away and sat on the bed again. “I don’t exactly know what to say now.”

  I wanted to sit beside her, but she seemed uneasy and strained. I stayed where I was. The conversation wasn’t over, not by a long shot. But if she couldn’t handle anymore right then, then that’s the way it had to be. Except maybe … maybe I could use that thing my parents always said at the end of their occasional arguments. “If there’s one thing you need from me, what would it be?”

  She twisted the hem of her T-shirt and then looked up. “Can you forgive me? For the way I treated you? For everything?”

  That was easy. Hearing her convoluted thinking, knowing that she hadn’t done it because she was just messing around, had made all the difference. I squatted and gently took her hands. “Of course I forgive you.”

  A relieved look crossed her face. “Thank you.”

  “Could I ask you a question now?”

>   She swallowed visibly. “Yes.”

  It suddenly felt like an entire hive of bees was buzzing around in my head yelling, don’t do it! But I had to know. “Did you ever love me?”

  Gabby

  How could Noah even ask that? I responded without thinking. “Yes, I do. Did. Of course I did.”

  His bright blue eyes sparkled as a slow smile curved his lips. Oh no. What had I done? He was reading too much into my answer. I stood abruptly, which knocked him onto his butt, but he only laughed. “Say that again.”

  “What?” I moved away just as the bedroom door opened.

  Kenzie stood there, first looking surprised and then amused. “Oh, are we playing knock Noah onto the floor?”

  He scrambled to his feet. “Give us a minute?” he asked her.

  She looked at me, and I shook my head. “Gabriela doesn’t seem to want that,” she said.

  Noah’s hot gaze stayed on me while he spoke to Kenzie. “She might not but Gabby does.”

  Kenzie cocked her head. “Hmm. Okay, five minutes.”

  “Traitor,” I said, taking a step backward because Noah was headed my way.

  “Don’t worry,” Kenzie said. “I won’t be far. All you have to do is yell, and I’ll be right in.” With that, she left, closing the door behind her.

  Noah smiled. “You love me.”

  I rubbed my damp palms on my shorts. “I did. I did love you.”

  He stepped closer. “You said do. You do love me.”

  “Did. I meant did.”

  “Really? Tell me the truth.”

  His eyes were like lasers searing into my heart. But I couldn’t admit the truth. Not when I’d decided to make a clean break from him. “Noah, please.”

  “The truth, Gabby.”

  I took a deep breath. “I did love you.”

  Uncertainty flashed across his face, but he shook his head. “And now?” he whispered.

  Oh, that low, deep whisper of his. I wanted to walk into his arms and stay there. I curled my toes into the carpet. “I …” The word came out breathy, way too breathy. I sounded like I did whenever we kissed, and he wasn’t even touching me.

  A huge smile grew on his face. “You love me.”

  “Did.” He moved forward, but I stayed put. I wasn’t running from what was about to happen. He needed to know I was serious.

  He stopped three inches away. “Do.”

  My hands trembled. “Did.”

  “Do.”

  I drew in a shaky breath. “Did. Noah, this is silly.”

  He was still smiling. “Do.”

  “Did.”

  He slid his fingers across my cheek and leaned in, stopping an inch from my lips. “Did.”

  “Do,” I breathed.

  “I knew it,” he whispered. And then he kissed me. His lips were gentle and warm as he pressed small kisses to my lips, and then my cheek, and then my ear.

  I sighed and gave in to the chills running along my skin. “You tricked me,” I whispered and ran my hands up his chest to his shoulders.

  He lifted his head, one hand still cupping the back of my head, his gaze intense. “Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll stop.”

  And right then I knew. I couldn’t lie to him anymore. I didn’t see how we could have a relationship, but I wasn’t going to lie. Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them away. My heart felt heavy and full as I gazed up at his beautiful eyes. “You’re right. I love you. I do. And I don’t know what to do about it.”

  “Ah, Gabby.” He exhaled, and his look turned tender. “Let’s start here.”

  He drew me close and kissed me sweetly. I threaded my hands into his hair, pressing myself to him, reveling in the feel of his arms around me. The kiss became molten, and all I could think about was him. He felt so right. He’d always felt right. Why had I fought it for so long? Why had I kept myself away?

  He raised up long enough to say, “I love you,” then moved his mouth back to mine.

  I clung to him, not wanting it to ever stop.

  “Ahem.”

  Noah and I looked up. Kenzie stood again in the doorway, one eyebrow raised. “Time’s up.”

  I hadn’t even heard the door open. I tried to pull away, but Noah didn’t let go. Instead, he grinned. Heat raced into my cheeks at Kenzie’s interested stare. He pressed a brief kiss to my lips. “Good night.”

  “Night,” I whispered.

  With a nod to Kenzie, he left the room. She shut the door behind him and leaned against it. “Well?”

  I flopped backward onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. “I admitted I loved him.”

  “Good,” she said. “Now what?” She sat cross-legged on her bed and faced me.

  “Um, I love him hard for two days and then end it?”

  “Is that a question?”

  “Yes. I have no idea what to do.”

  “How about just date him like I suggested?”

  I dug my fingers into my hair. “I’ll just screw it up somehow. You know I will.”

  She frowned. “What do you mean? You don’t screw things up. You quit things.”

  “That’s what I meant.”

  “Oh.” She pinched her lower lip, not saying anything for almost a full minute. “So you’re finally agreeing with me about that, huh?”

  “Don’t start.”

  She stuck out her leg and jiggled my bed with her foot. “Maybe you should think about this for real.”

  “Kenzie.”

  “What’re you so afraid of, Gabby?”

  “You’re psychoanalyzing again.”

  “Just answer the question.”

  I didn’t want to think about it. Or analyze it. Or feel it. But she was staring at me with that relentless look, and there was no way she’d stop until I came up with an answer. So I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “The more Noah gets to know me, the less he’ll like me.”

  “What? That’s crazy. You’re an amazing, fun person. We wouldn’t be friends if you weren’t.”

  I laughed. “Oh, thanks.”

  “I mean it. Why do you think he’ll end up not liking you? He’s crazy in love.”

  “I know, but once he sees what I’m like in my everyday life, he’ll realize that he fell in love with vacation-Gabby, not ordinary-life-Gabby.”

  Kenzie let out an exasperated huff. “That’s just not true. You’re no different here than you are at home. Well, other than pretending to be Gabriela, that is.”

  “Yeah, lame everywhere.”

  She laughed. “Gabby! Do I need to shake you or something? You’re not making sense. And why are you feeling so sorry for yourself? You don’t usually act this way.”

  I wanted to storm off to the bathroom and slam the door. Get far away from everybody and be alone. But that would be adding to the self-pity. Besides, Kenzie probably would’ve just followed me in there. I forced myself to sit up and face her. “You asked me what I was afraid of, and I told you.”

  She squinted at me. “Does this have anything to do with your mother?”

  “There you go again, doctor.”

  “She’s always pressuring you. I just thought maybe it had something to do with it.”

  I waved a hand. “My mom has pressured me forever.”

  “Exactly.”

  I rubbed my hands together. “Are you sure you want to major in pre-Law? You should probably go for psychology.”

  “Okay, I’ll stop.” Kenzie smiled briefly and then got up and pulled her pajamas out of her open suitcase. She stood in front of me, holding the folded pjs like they were an offering. “But I think you need to trust yourself more.” She walked into the bathroom, but right before she closed the door she said, “And trust Noah.”

  I stared at my hands clenched together in my lap. Could I do that? Trust him? Trust me? The knot of dread inside loosened a fraction. Maybe. But it wasn’t going to be easy.

  Noah

  Dim light filtered through the blinds the next morning when I woke up. I rolled
over, making the top bunk squeak and grabbed my phone. Seven o’clock. Why the heck was I awake? Down below, Geoff snored softly in the lower bunk and Dylan exhaled heavy breaths from his sleeping bag on the floor.

  I snuggled down into my pillow. Time to go back to sleep.

  I’d almost dozed back off when that Christmas morning thrill wriggled its way into my mind. What was I so happy about? Then it hit me and my eyes sprang open.

  Gabby loved me.

  She was confused about whether we could make a relationship work, but she loved me.

  There was no way I could go back to sleep. But I’d go nuts if I had to sit at the breakfast table making polite conversation with Geoff’s parents and Gamma until everyone else woke up. Thank goodness Dylan’s parents had gone to a hotel last night. One more set of people I didn’t have to deal with.

  I’d go for a run. I knew I couldn’t go far since my lung capacity was crap at this altitude, but I’d get everything sorted out. Think over my school schedule for the fall. Try to be realistic about how often I could go see Gabby. I needed to present a logical argument to counter her fear—a fear I didn’t really get. But the only way to understand it was to spend more time with her, so that was the goal. I just had to convince her it was the right goal for her too.

  An hour later I was toweling off after my post-run shower when there was a bang on the bathroom door. “Yeah?”

  Geoff’s voice sounded groggy. “Hurry up, man. We have to eat breakfast and go run an errand for my dad.”

  An errand? I wrapped the towel around my waist and opened the door. “How long will that take?”

  He came in, sheet marks on his face, and went to the toilet. “Shut the door. I need to piss.”

  I would’ve left, but I had to know how long I was going to be away from Gabby. I pushed the door closed, smoothing my hair down with my hands. “How long will we be gone?”

  “Don’t know,” he said through a yawn. “It’s something for the play tonight.”