The Infernal Machine and Other Plays

by Jean Cocteau

  LOTHAR. Why are people now against him and his work?

  CHRISTINE. Because of false prophets like Carlstadt, Münzer, Sorch, and Zwingli, who want his fame for themselves. They run him down and destroy his work while he’s away.

  LOTHAR. Then, isn’t it true that he hates the peasants?

  CHRISTINE. Of course not! People tack the crimes of the upper classes onto him. He’s always been on the side of the underdogs; that’s why he joined this cause; if Luther hated them, Father would soon give up his party. He’d hate it. People spread these rumors to discredit a man who is working solely for the country people and against all that is crushing them.

  LOTHAR. What about his marriage?

  CHRISTINE. Turn a deaf ear to all these rumors — do. They’re only old wives’ tales.

  LOTHAR. He’s free to marry if he wants to.

  CHRISTINE. If he wants to, he will. But it’s all no business of yours. And now that we know that we’re both on the same side, take off that costume and put it back where you found it.

  LOTHAR. I don’t want to.

  CHRISTINE. We all have to sacrifice ourselves in one way or another.

  She kisses him.

  By the way, it’s here, in this room, that the Bishop has arranged to hold the meeting which will choose this year’s Bacchus. All the bigwigs will be arriving soon. Don’t be seen about the place for the rest of today — and avoid being conspicuous in dangerous places. Promise me!

  LOTHAR. I promise.

  CHRISTINE. Walk about in the open where they’re making ready for the Fête. Speak to everyone. Be a credit to the family!

  She takes the crown and the lengths of material and throws them into a chest which she then closes.

  LOTHAR. I’ll be seen by everyone, everywhere!

  The Duke enters at the hack.

  DUKE. Going out?

  LOTHAR. I am going to watch them putting up the bunting on the stands.

  CHRISTINE. Have a nice time!

  Lothar goes out at the hack of the stage.

  DUKE. Good morning, Christine.

  He kisses her.

  CHRISTINE. Good morning, Father.

  DUKE. HOW is your protégé getting along?

  CHRISTINE. The kitchen staff are gaping at him with wonder.

  DUKE. May I join the wondering throng?

  CHRISTINE. No! I want you to see him with the others. I want him to be a complete surprise.

  DUKE. Aren’t you taking the risk that he may shock them by doing something foolish?

  CHRISTINE. There’s nothing to fear. He’s extremely gentle, and follows me about like a dog. I think I am the only person who has ever succeeded in getting him to follow them.

  DUKE. How much does he understand?

  CHRISTINE. Nothing. He accepts everything. It amuses him. He does not live in the world we live in.

  DUKE. What world does he live in?

  CHRISTINE. The world of childhood and of animals. Sometimes what he says is so funny that everyone bursts out laughing.

  DUKE. I am very much afraid that he may upset the Princes of the Church.

  CHRISTINE. Frenchmen elect a pope of fools, and the Princes of the Church accept him.

  DUKE. Their church is not ours. We are not in France.

  CHRISTINE. Better to elect a fool as Bacchus than a sane young man who finishes up as a fool.

  DUKE. Don’t ever refer to Ulrich! Is Lothar still set on competing?

  CHRISTINE. I told him the truth.

  DUKE. Christine!

  CHRISTINE. He’s old enough to understand, and besides he might have heard it from others.

  DUKE. And … has he given up the idea?

  CHRISTINE. Yes! He has been very understanding about

  it.

  DUKE. You work miracles!

  CHRISTINE. I told him to go out because of your council meeting. I don’t want him putting his finger in our pie.

  DUKE. He talks too much.

  CHRISTINE. Don’t misjudge him. He’s a much more sensitive boy than he appears to be.

  DUKE. Too sensitive. I am afraid for him on many scores.

  CHRISTINE. Such as?

  DUKE. I dislike his associates. He’s seen in places he ought to avoid.

  CHRISTINE. He’s young.

  DUKE. One has to be careful of associates. There are too many idle people in this town who do nothing but watch other people and make mischief. The times encourage slander.

  CHRISTINE. Is that meant for me?

  DUKE. For you, for Lothar, and myself. One should keep indoors all the time. Now you, for instance, since your mother’s death, your place is at home, looking after Lothar.

  CHRISTINE. I go out very little.

  DUKE. Do so as little as possible. The peasants’ revolt is becoming more serious. I was anxious when I knew you were in the village streets. Theft and massacre are going on all the time.

  CHRISTINE. The peasants have nothing against me.

  DUKE. It is no longer a personal question, neither of being liked nor disliked. There’s an element abroad which is out to kill.

  CHRISTINE. The story of my protégé is enough to show that. When nobles organize a manhunt and set a pack of hounds on peasants, they need not be surprised if the peasants retaliate.

  DUKE. The atrocities perpetrated by the peasants put ours in the shade. They must be stopped, stopped at all costs.

  CHRISTINE. What can you mean?

  DUKE. If we let them do as they like, they will ruin both our privileges and their own. Mr. Everyman will take charge. We shall be governed by the common herd.

  CHRISTINE. So you, even you, approve of the way the life of the people is drained out of them. You approve of the tithes condemned in the Bible. Do you, even you, approve of peasants being treated as the property of the nobles, of their game and their firewood being stolen, of their feudal obligations being multiplied, of injustice, of the widow and orphan being despoiled by the law of succession, of the herdsman being slaughtered more surely than his herd. Did not Saint Paul teach that there should be neither masters nor slaves?

  DUKE. If the revolt succeeded, both secular authority and the Word of God would perish equally. They want to share the goods of others and to keep their own. A ruler who upheld them would be failing in his duty and would be responsible for the crimes of the rabble. If only peasants knew the troubles of their rulers. They have only to pay their tithes and other dues. Is that not just? The land they till is ours. Unfortunately only the crossbow teaches these brutes what their duty is.

  CHRISTINE. I can’t believe that it is you who are speaking. What has changed you so? You who are so kind and charitable, how can you say such things?

  DUKE. Just as I would hang evildoers.

  CHRISTINE. But what has made such a complete change in you?

  DUKE. A voice.

  CHRISTINE. What voice?

  DUKE. I can’t tell you. It pains me very much, Christine. But my last journey into the hills helped to open my eyes.

  CHRISTINE. What did you see in the hills?

  DUKE. Things and people who opened my eyes.

  CHRISTINE. I respect what you say without understanding it.

  DUKE. That is as it should be. But let us speak of more pleasant subjects, such as your protégé.

  CHRISTINE. Hans is a peasant.

  DUKE. A village idiot. That is not the same.

  CHRISTINE. He is a peasant.

  DUKE. Rashness never helps the cause we serve. Your protégé might act as a screen to certain causes.

  CHRISTINE. Am I to understand that you, of all people, would use a simpleton so as to make out that you are opposed to massacring others like him? You would stroke with one hand and slaughter with the other. That’s frightful!

  DUKE. Christine, Christine, do not try to understand.

  CHRISTINE. I am sure of one thing only and that is that if things turn out as you say, I know how we’ll both react. Neither of us will be party to such a crime.

  DUKE.
We’re living in tragic times in which kindness may become foolishness. Unthinking kindness does not appeal to me.

  CHRISTINE. Your kindness would never be blind … to betray betrayors is not betrayal.

  DUKE. To betray, Christine, is to betray.

  CHRISTINE. There is no betrayal in going back on our leaders if they take the wrong road.

  DUKE. If they are our leaders, then their way is right and we must follow it. But let’s not talk of such things; they should never be spoken about within these four walls. Especially as I am expecting visitors who are now on their way. How old is your Bacchus?

  CHRISTINE. Twenty-nine.

  DUKE. That’s the upper age limit for competitors.

  CHRISTINE. Names are accepted up to thirty.

  DUKE. Heaven grant he may succeed! I am at the end of my tether!

  CHRISTINE. I shall do my best because I love you. May heaven inspire your worthies and the Princes of the Church to consider our suggestions and to approve of them!

  DUKE. I doubt very much if they will.

  CHRISTINE. I shall leave you and go back to work on my masterpiece, but I shall no longer do so joyfully.

  DUKE. A masterpiece does not give joy to those who shape it alone. Try to make your Bacchus irresistible!

  CHRISTINE. Poor dear! He little knows what we’ve got in store for him.

  DUKE. They’ll rag him.

  CHRISTINE. He’s used to that. Good luck! At the first sign from you I’ll bring him in.

  DUKE. How does his mother feel about the way we’ve kidnapped her son?

  CHRISTINE. The mother of Hans is a peasant, my dear Father, and the peasants love me because I love them. Remember that!

  She goes out by the little door on the right.

  The Duke opens the door at the back of the stage to admit the Cardinal, the Bishop, the Provost Marshal, and the Syndic.

  DUKE. Forgive me, gentlemen, for being porter at my own door. I did not wish the ears of strangers to find their way among us. There is no one else on this floor.

  BISHOP. My lord Duke, we have the honor of receiving a visit from His Eminence, the Cardinal Zampi, envoy extraordinary of the Holy See.

  DUKE, bowing. Your Eminence.

  CARDINAL, bowing. My lord Duke.

  BISHOP. His Holiness has sent His Eminence to inspect these provinces and to acquaint himself more fully concerning the nature of the poison which is spreading here. As he is spending a few days in our diocese, I spoke to him of our council meeting and he wished to be present at it.

  DUKE. Forgive us, Your Eminence, for imposing on you deliberations relating to a masquerade.

  CARDINAL. On the contrary, my lord Duke; where I come from at the Court of Rome, everyone watches his own step and his neighbor’s, the Holy Father alone being free to speak as he wishes; except for a few diverting strangers, such as the Abbé du Bellay, we have little chance of entertainment. I am therefore glad of the opportunity you are offering me.

  BISHOP. A council meeting is about to discuss means of giving back to a masquerade its real character. It has regrettably lost it several times in the past, in rather sad circumstances.

  CARDINAL. What do you mean by that?

  DUKE. Has Your Eminence been fully informed on the subject of the masquerade?

  BISHOP. Ecclesiastical business has prevented me from acquainting His Eminence with the details of the matter.

  CARDINAL. Unless I am mistaken, it concerns a Bacchus who is elected at the time of the wine harvest.

  SYNDIC. A very old custom, half Swiss and half German.

  CARDINAL. Does it affect your town in particular, or does it take place in all German towns at the time of the wine harvest?

  PROVOST MARSHAL. It’s a thoroughly bad custom, and a Byzantine one into the bargain. Our fellow citizens are bursting with pride over it, because they don’t know where it comes from and think that it is theirs. Before the peasants’ revolt, it drew people from the four corners of the Reich. But no one feels safe on the roads now. Besides it’s unbelievable that the Church should give its blessing to a pagan feast and indeed it would do us a good turn if the whole thing were blown sky high.

  BISHOP. You might moderate your expressions in front of the Cardinal. The Church is a hierarchical institution which directs the conscience of men. It is not for you, Provost, to criticize what it does.

  DUKE. Gentlemen, Gentlemen….

  PROVOST MARSHAL. I thought the point of our council meeting was to consider ways and means of breaking this custom which is shocking in a Christian country.

  BISHOP. That’s enough!

  CARDINAL, thoroughly enjoying it all. Don’t worry, Provost Marshal, I shall repeat your words to the Holy Father and I am sure he will take careful note of them.

  PROVOST MARSHAL, in a shrill voice. Thank you very much, very much indeed!

  BISHOP. Provost, Provost!

  PROVOST MARSHAL. I don’t want to find myself in the stew!

  CARDINAL. To what stew are you referring?

  PROVOST MARSHAL. I mean —

  DUKE. NOW , now, Gentlemen. We are not here for internecine disputes. I apologize to Your Eminence. The Provost has always been a little lively in his speech.

  PROVOST MARSHAL. Lively I am and alive I want to remain. I don’t care for being burned alive by the Holy See. Everyone knows how such things begin, but no one knows how they will end.

  SYNDIC, sniggering. Everyone does know!

  BISHOP. I hope you don’t doubt the clear vision of the Ecclesiastical Tribunals?

  PROVOST MARSHAL. Heaven forbid! The gods are dead, long live the gods.

  BISHOP. Provost, you are incorrigible! Believe me, we are no more tolerant of Greek than of Hebrew writings. I am not unaware of the recent discoveries of a language called Greek and that a book called the New Testament written in that language begets heresy and that nothing can be got out of it but thorns and vipers. The same may be said about the book called the Old Testament, as those who can read Hebrew become Jews. Besides, the Archbishop of Mainz told us last year at the Diet of Augsburg, that the Bible was written contrary to our faith and our sacerdotal power. I am sure that His Eminence will approve.

  The Cardinal gestures vaguely.

  Having said this, I think it is useless to continue the discussion, and it is now necessary to enlighten Cardinal Zampi on the reasons for this conference.

  CARDINAL. Well said!

  The Cardinal sits down at the center of the table, facing the audience. To his right the Bishop, left the Duke. The Provost Marshal and Syndic at the end of the table to the right of the Bishop.

  BISHOP. Your Eminence, our host has been the cruel victim of this masquerade. May I speak of your sad loss, my lord?

  DUKE, bowing. Please do so.

  BISHOP. Five years ago, our host’s son, then nineteen years of age, was chosen as Bacchus. Every five years someone is elected for this role; it gives absolute authority for one week to the person chosen. This week of fame turned the boy’s head, and on the seventh day the youths who surrounded him — I’m sorry to say we were with them — made fun of him and his pride, which was quite excusable at his age. This affected him much more deeply than we imagined. His fits of temper roused his companions. Then, to make a long story short, he killed himself.

  Silence.

  The Duchess died of grief.

  Silence.

  You will understand, Your Eminence, why we feel it so deeply incumbent on us to avoid any repetition of such a tragedy if at all possible.

  SYNDIC. And that’s not the whole story.

  PROVOST MARSHAL. Just a minute! His Eminence should be told first, how five years before that the festival brought about another disaster. The young Wilhelm de Haage, when he was elected Bacchus, indulged in such excesses that I should be ashamed to give you a list of them. The people wanted to stone him and we only saved his skin by sending him into exile.

  CARDINAL. Does this election give the chosen person complete freedom to act as he
will?

  DUKE. Complete.

  CARDINAL. Our Italian carnivals take a less dramatic form. Allow me, my lord Duke, to express my profound grief for you, and let you go on with your story.

  DUKE. These are the considerations which led us to seek a way out such as the Provost Marshal spoke of with so much gusto. We had come to think of it as desirable that a custom which had caused so much mourning and scandal should be abolished.

  CARDINAL. But these are surely exceptional cases.

  PROVOST MARSHAL. I can tell you of others. Young Sigfried Wolf considered the paragraph which gives the right of life and death to be valid. To condemn to death is one thing: the condemned person can always be reprieved at the right moment. To kill is another story.

  CARDINAL. Did he commit murder?

  DUKE. That is, alas, so, Your Eminence, and the man he killed was a personal enemy against whom he had not dared to take action until safeguarded by his position.

  CARDINAL. The devil!

  BISHOP. That’s it! It seems as if the devil literally has a hand in it.

  CARDINAL. It is much too late for me to take any categorical measures to refer the matter to higher authority. Is your festival not tomorrow? The town is full of stands and banners.

  PROVOST MARSHAL. The Church can do what it wishes to do.

  CARDINAL. I have no special powers. However, the Holy Father who knows nothing of your fears, is highly in favor of the masquerades of Rome, Florence, Bergamos, and Venice. Masquerades prevent the populace from thinking when they are idle. A man who thinks is our enemy. That is the opinion of the Holy See.

  SYNDIC. It is our duty, dear Provost Marshal, to remind His Lordship the Duke and our Bishop that the Emperor is not amused by these amusements. He will look with ill-favor on anyone who takes advantage of his Italian cam-campaign in order to restrict a custom of which the pageantry should be respected.

  BISHOP. I might add that the peasants’ revolt does not conduce him to alienate the populace any further by robbing it of one of its long treasured diversions.

  SYNDIC. It would be a grave danger. During this week the people spend their savings. It is a decent way of letting money come back to us and relieving the budget.

  BISHOP. Let that pass … Let that pass….

  CARDINAL. I thought that in His great wisdom the Holy Father had eased the burden of the clergy by the sale of indulgences.