Running Scared

by Leslie McGill

  “Thanks,” Rainie said distractedly, looking around for Daymon’s car.

  “Like me, for instance,” he continued.

  Rainie heard something in his voice and looked at him. His eyes were kind, but there was something else there, something she hadn’t seen before.

  “See ya,” he said. He bent down and kissed her on the lips.

  His kiss left Rainie speechless. It felt so good—soft and hard at the same time.

  “You’re lots more fun to run with than the wrestling team,” he added with a grin. Then he waved and walked on down the street.

  Rainie turned and went into the house. For the first time in a long time, she felt happy.

  CHAPTER 20

  Joss

  Joss woke up early, filled with excitement. The first poms practice was after school.

  After the last bell, she headed for the girls’ locker room to change. Everyone changed into T-shirts and shorts except for Rainie. She kept on her long pants and sweatshirt.

  Mrs. McArdle came in and looked them over. “Rainie, you’re going to die of the heat,” she said. “Did you forget to bring practice clothes?”

  “Yeah,” Rainie said with a laugh. “What an idiot, right? I’m okay, though. I’ll bring them next time.”

  “Anyone have any clothes they can lend Rainie?” Mrs. McArdle asked. Several girls put up their hands.

  “I’ll be fine,” Rainie said firmly. “Really.”

  “All right, let’s get started,” Mrs. McArdle said. “Want to practice some moves first or go over business?”

  “Moves!” the girls shouted.

  “Okay, but first you have to stretch and warm up,” Mrs. McArdle said. She led them in some stretching exercises. She made them run four laps around the perimeter of the gym. She then showed them some basic steps. She turned on the music, and they tried doing them in unison. They were terrible—not in sync, turning in opposite directions.

  After practicing for a while, Mrs. McArdle said, “Okay, that’s enough for one day. Do one lap around the gym, and then let’s talk.”

  The girls all started running around the gym. Joss looked back and saw that Rainie was at the rear of the group. Joss got out of line and circled back to run beside her friend. She didn’t like how Rainie looked. She was sweating and seemed to have difficulty running in a straight line.

  “Rainie? You okay?” Joss asked.

  “I’m … I’m …” Rainie started to say. She stumbled a few steps, then stopped. Her eyes closed, and she sank to the floor.

  “Rainie!” Joss yelled. She squatted down beside her.

  “Mrs. McArdle, come quick! Rainie fainted!”

  Mrs. McArdle ran over to Rainie, who was now surrounded by all the girls.

  “Stand back, girls. It’s probably the heat. Someone get some cold water.”

  Two girls ran to the drinking fountain and took turns filling their water bottles. Joss pulled up Rainie’s sweatshirt.

  “Oh my gosh! She was wearing another shirt,” she said. “Why didn’t she take off the top layer?” She pulled up both to try to cool Rainie down.

  What she saw made her gasp. All of Rainie’s ribs stuck out, along with her hip bones. She wasn’t just thin, she was emaciated.

  Joss and Mrs. McArdle exchanged a look.

  “Where is that water?” the teacher said finally.

  One girl handed her a water bottle. She poured some on her hand, and then rubbed Rainie’s forehead and neck. She also poured a little on Rainie’s stomach. Soon Rainie’s eyes began to flutter.

  “What happened?” she asked, trying to sit up.

  “You fainted,” Mrs. McArdle said. “Probably the heat. Let’s take off your sweatshirt.”

  She bent down to help pull the sweatshirt over Rainie’s head.

  “No!” Rainie cried, trying to hold onto the sweatshirt.

  “Yes,” Mrs. McArdle said sternly. “The rest of you, go get changed. Practice is over for the day.”

  The other girls started to leave. Joss could hear them all talking excitedly about what had happened.

  “You too, Joss,” Mrs. McArdle said kindly. “I’ll take it from here.”

  Joss didn’t want to leave, but she knew she had to. She left the gym and grabbed Eva.

  “We need to find Durand,” she said.

  CHAPTER 21

  Rainie

  Whe gym got quiet as the poms team left. Rainie continued lying on the cool gym floor. As soon as the sweatshirt was off, Rainie felt better. The air hit her skin and cooled her down. She knew her secret was out.

  “Rainie, I’m going to have to tell Mrs. Hess about this,” Mrs. McArdle said gently. “You’re in trouble, and you need to get help.”

  “Because I fainted from the heat? I should have taken off my sweatshirt, I realize, but—”

  “Don’t lie,” Mrs. McArdle said. “Something is very wrong. I suspect you have an eating disorder. You’ve been trying to hide it, but you can’t any longer. You need to see a doctor, Rainie.”

  “Please, Mrs. McArdle,” Rainie said. “Don’t do this to me.” She angrily wiped away some tears.

  “Honey, I’m trying to help you,” Mrs. McArdle said. “You’re killing yourself.”

  She pulled out a cell phone. “I’ll call your mother to come pick you up,” she said.

  “You won’t be able to reach her,” Rainie said miserably. “She’s at work.”

  “I can’t hold you here,” Mrs. McArdle said. “But I’m sure the school will be in touch with her. Rainie? You must get some help. Understand?”

  Rainie nodded and stood up. She was still a little unsteady on her feet.

  “How are you getting home?” Mrs. McArdle asked. “You can’t walk in this condition.”

  “I can take her,” Durand Butler said from the door of the gym. Rainie could see Joss and Eva behind him. “Joss told me what happened,” he said to Rainie. “I’ll drive you home.”

  “Thanks, Durand,” Mrs. McArdle said. “And, Rainie, remember, I’m not the enemy here.”

  Rainie nodded, too miserable to speak. She and Durand walked out of the gym toward the parking lot.

  “So I guess everyone knows my secret, right?” Rainie said bitterly. “Like it was anyone else’s business.”

  “If it makes you feel any better,” Durand said. “We’d all pretty much figured it out before you passed out. Joss and Eva have been very worried about you.”

  “They should mind their own business,” Rainie said, opening the door of Durand’s car.

  “Well, they didn’t do anything to get you in trouble,” he said, turning the key. “They were just keeping an eye on you. But when you faint at school, that’s pretty much a red flag.”

  “My mother’s going to kill me,” Rainie said. “She’s going to think I’m just trying to get attention.”

  “I doubt that,” Durand said. “Mrs. McArdle will make her take it seriously.”

  They pulled up in front of the house. “You want me to come up?” he said.

  “Nah, probably best if you don’t,” Rainie said. “I’ve got to face her myself at some point.”

  She was relieved to see that Daymon’s car wasn’t outside. Her mother wasn’t home either.

  Mrs. Walker was watching Jesika. Rainie thanked Mrs. Walker and locked the door behind her. Then she went straight up to her room. She knew the school did not have the phone number for DC’s bar, so she had some time before Mrs. McArdle reached Mrs. Burkette.

  In the morning, Rainie quickly got dressed and went to school. She went straight to first period without talking to anyone. About twenty minutes after the class started, Mrs. Dominguez, the principal’s secretary, called on the class phone. She asked Rainie to come to the office. Rainie gathered up her books and put them into her backpack. Her heart felt heavy.

  As she walked toward the door, Durand got out of his seat and joined her at the door.

  “Whatever happens, I’m here for you,” he said quietly. “You know that, right
?”

  Rainie couldn’t even bring herself to speak. She nodded and gave him a half smile.

  The walk down the hall to the main office seemed to take forever. Rainie didn’t know what the school would do to her. She opened the door to the office, and immediately Mrs. Dominguez picked up the phone.

  “Rainie Burkette is here,” she said into the phone.

  “Rainie, how nice to see you,” said Principal Hess as she walked out to the waiting room. “Why don’t you join us in my office?”

  Us? Ugh! Like I have a choice, Rainie thought to herself. She reluctantly got up and followed Mrs. Hess into her office. She stopped abruptly at the door. Sitting around the principal’s desk were Mrs. McArdle; Mrs. Blackwell, the guidance counselor; and her mother.

  “Rainie, you’re not in any trouble,” Mrs. Hess started. “But we need to talk to you about something serious. Do you know why you’re here?”

  “Yeah. I passed out yesterday at poms practice because it was so hot in the gym, and Mrs. McArdle decided it meant I had an eating disorder.”

  “Don’t get smart!” Rainie’s mother snapped.

  “Mrs. Burkette, please,” Mrs. Hess said kindly. “Why don’t you let us handle this? When we’re done talking, you can say whatever you feel needs to be said.”

  Mrs. Burkette settled back into her chair. Her body language showed how angry she was.

  “Rainie, do you think you have an eating disorder?” Mrs. Hess continued.

  “No!” Rainie said sharply. “I’ve lost a little weight, but I’m totally in control. Every girl at this school wants to lose weight. Why am I in trouble? Just because I’m the only one who was actually successful?”

  “Rainie, I know a bit about eating disorders. I had one myself when I was in high school,” Mrs. Blackwell said. “I know the signs. What did you have for dinner last night?”

  Rainie was caught off guard by the question. “Um … leftover ribs,” she lied.

  “She’s lying,” Mrs. Burkette said softly. “There weren’t any leftovers. I left her some spaghetti, but I don’t think she ate any.”

  “How many nights a week do you run?” Mrs. Blackwell asked.

  “Just a couple,” Rainie said.

  “She runs every night she’s not working at FreeZees and for long times on the weekends,” Mrs. Burkette said sadly. “Oh, I’m so stupid. How could I not have known?”

  “Don’t blame yourself, Mrs. Burkette,” Mrs. Blackwell said. “Kids with eating disorders become very adept at hiding them. Rainie’s a smart girl. She knew how to hide it from you. But that brings up another issue: how are things at home? Any stress there that could be contributing to this situation?”

  “Well, her father took off a year ago,” Mrs. Burkette said. “And—” she turned and looked at Rainie. In that look, Rainie could see that her mother understood the role that Daymon Jenkins was playing in Rainie’s life. “And there are other stresses as well,” her mother said. “I guess I didn’t realize how much it was affecting her.”

  Rainie appreciated how hard it must have been for her mother to admit this. Everyone was quiet for a moment.

  “Unfortunately, we can’t allow Rainie back in school until we get a note from her pediatrician,” Mrs. Hess said. “She is physically unstable. She fainted yesterday. I’m sure you understand why she should not be in school until your family doctor says it’s okay.”

  “What?” Rainie gasped. “No way. I don’t need to go to the doctor. I keep telling you I’m okay.”

  “Rainie, I’ve heard enough. I’m taking you to the doctor,” her mother said as Rainie glared at the group.

  “There are many free counseling services I can refer you to, Mrs. Burkette,” Mrs. Blackwell said. “Your family doctor can help determine what—if any—further treatment is necessary. And, Rainie, you can return just as soon as your doctor pronounces you fit to attend school.”

  “Fit to attend school?” Rainie asked incredulously. “Where else would I go? None of this has anything to do with school!”

  “And you need to discuss that with your doctor,” Mrs. Hess said firmly. “I’ve let all your teachers know that you may be out of school for a few days. Here are all of your assignments. Do you have all your books?”

  “Yeah, I’ve got everything I need,” Rainie said, standing up. “And good luck with the poms team,” she said to Mrs. McArdle. “I sure would have liked to have been a part of it.”

  “And I’m hoping you still can,” Mrs. McArdle said gently. “But you need to get healthy first.”

  “Thank you for looking out for my girl,” Mrs. Burkette said, standing up. “I’ll make the appointment today so Rainie doesn’t miss too many days of school.”

  Mrs. Hess guided mother and daughter out of her office. Mrs. McArdle accompanied them through the school hallway. As soon as they got to the entrance, Mrs. McArdle gave Rainie a hug.

  “You’re going to be okay, Rainie,” she asserted. Then she shook Mrs. Burkette’s hand and walked away, leaving mother and daughter alone.

  Rainie and her mother walked to the parking lot. “What are we going to do?” Rainie asked bleakly.

  “We’ll figure something out,” her mother said. “But those ladies were right. We need to get you healthy. With everything else going on, I guess I lost track of what you were eating and how much you were running. I feel like such a failure as a mother.”

  “It’s not about you,” Rainie said. “You’ve got your own stuff to deal with. And anyway, I still don’t think I have—”

  “Stop, Rainie,” her mother said. “Let’s quit the lying right now. Let me see your arm.”

  “No,” Rainie said.

  “Do it. Now,” her mother said in a voice that didn’t allow for any disobedience.

  Rainie slowly pushed her sleeve up. Her wrist bones stuck out, and her forearm was the size of a stick.

  “Oh my gosh,” her mother said, her voice catching. She opened her car door and waited for Rainie to get in the other side.

  Rainie’s mom whipped out her cell phone. In minutes, she was explaining her daughter’s situation to someone at the doctor’s office. An appointment was secured for that afternoon. Mrs. Burkette glanced at her daughter and patted her on the knee.

  They didn’t talk as they drove home. When they pulled up, Rainie saw Daymon’s car.

  “Oh, great,” Rainie said. “Mom, I just don’t know if I can face him this morning. Any way you could get rid of him for a while?”

  “I don’t actually know why he’s here,” her mother said curiously. “He had asked if I would be around, and when I said I wouldn’t be, he made it sound like he had something he needed to do.”

  They got out of the car and walked up the steps to the front door. Rainie’s mom put the key in the lock and turned it, opening the door.

  “Daymon?” she called. “Honey, are you here?” She walked upstairs with Rainie following closely behind her.

  The door to her bedroom opened just a crack. “What are you doing home?” Daymon asked, only his face showing. “You said you weren’t going to be here!”

  “Well, I had to—”

  “Daymon, baby, who is that?” a woman’s voice called out from inside Mrs. Burkette’s bedroom.

  No one said anything for a long, painful moment.

  “Seriously? Seriously?” Mrs. Burkette said, her voice rising. “You brought your little tramp to my home?”

  She pushed past Daymon and opened the bedroom door. “Get out, you skank!” she yelled. “And you!” she said to Daymon. “Don’t you ever show your ugly, perverted face around here again! Touching my daughter, pawing me in front of my kids—I should have booted your ugly butt weeks ago!”

  “Is that what she told you? She’s lying!” Daymon said, backing further into the bedroom. “I can’t believe you’d take that skinny brat’s word over mine. And after all I’ve done for you all.”

  “I am so done with you,” Mrs. Burkette said tiredly. “Get your clothes on and get ou
t. I should have listened to my kid.”

  Rainie and her mom headed downstairs as Daymon closed the bedroom door.

  In a minute, he reappeared at the bottom of the stairs, buttoning up his shirt and hopping from one foot to the other as he tried to get his shoes on.

  “You really think I cared about you?” he said nastily. “You’re about twenty years too old for me, lady. You were just free drinks at DC’s and a warm place to stay.”

  The young woman walked down the stairs. She was tugging a tight knit dress down over her hips. It was so short that it barely covered her underwear.

  “But I thought you said this was your house,” she said, sounding confused.

  “Get out. I’ll explain it outside,” Daymon said. “As for you?” he said to Rainie. “You’re about the last piece I would have ever jumped. The right age, but too skinny.”

  “If you’re not out of this house in the next five seconds, I’m calling the cops,” Mrs. Burkette said, holding the front door wide open. “One …”

  “Just remember, I—” Daymon started.

  “Two …”

  “I need to get my stuff,” Daymon whined.

  “Three! Rainie, hand me that phone.”

  “I’m gone,” Daymon said, shoving the young woman out the door and slamming it behind them both.

  For a long moment, no one spoke. Then Rainie said, “Oh, Mom, I’m so sorry—”

  “Stop!” Mrs. Burkette said, holding up her hand. “There is nothing to say. He was trash. I was starting to see it before this, and today just convinced me. I am so embarrassed at what a fool I’ve been.”

  “You just got a little lost, that’s all,” Rainie said. “It was hard enough on Jesika and me when Dad left, but you were married to him. I’m sure it made you feel pretty bad.”

  “I felt like a total failure as a woman,” her mother said. “So when Daymon started acting like I was the greatest thing since sliced bread, I guess I wanted to believe it was true.”

  “But you are the greatest thing since sliced bread,” Rainie said, her voice catching. “You’re beautiful. Smart. Classy. Unlike that piece of trash that blew in here with Daymon!”