Mention My Name in Atlantis

by John Jakes

  "Why, yes," I replied, "unless my nose and tongue mislead me."

  Aphrodisia, for one, couldn't believe it.

  "Do you mean to suggest that those marvelous vessels are propelled by the fruit of the lowly grape?"

  "I mean to suggest exactly that. I fell in a vat of the stuff a while ago, and received the shock of recognition. Why do you think those soldiers were lurching and tittering when they should have been busy chasing us? They were intoxicated by Sacred Fuel! Don't ask me to explain further, because I'm not conversant with matters scientific. But isn't it obvious—?"

  I lowered my voice, and pointed; both His Splendor and Her Radiance were kneeling, once more tasting of the pulpy pestle.

  "—I've given these important personages the treasure they sought. That is why I wished to return to the villa. In these disorganized times, we need every friend we can get!"

  "Blessed be the name of Hoptor of Atlantis!" Her Radiance wore a positively worshipful expression.

  "Blessed, blessed!" affirmed her consort.

  To which I replied smoothly, "I trust you won't forget to mention my name when it comes time to dispense any appropriate rewards—"

  At which Aphrodisia shrieked.

  "I know you're excited by this fabulous discovery, dear. However, please try to—oh good gods!"

  Helmeted heads looked over the garden wall. And before I could say "Island Kingdom," a half dozen more scaling ladders appeared.

  "He's here, Your Exaltedness," rose the cry from without.

  "Into the house!" I exclaimed. But it was too late. More soldiers were coming from there. In a trice we were encircled.

  Wheezing and huffing, clad in full battle armor, Pytho popped into sight on one of the ladders. Already his men were jumping down into the garden, trampling my precious vines and menacing us with swords. Mrf Qqt struck a few telling blows with his fist. But the soldiers quickly learned to avoid it, and several seized him from behind. In like fashion, the king and queen were rendered helpless.

  Another ladder was handed over the wall, then positioned so that Pytho might descend with some dignity. He stumped up to me, jutting his scar-marked jaw.

  "You have eluded us for the last time, you traitor. We shall now give you what you so richly deserve."

  Aphrodisia wailed, "I thought you said he'd be too busy to chase us, Hoptor!"

  "Gods, it was only a guess—!"

  "A wrong one," jeered Pytho. "These bestial blue horrors"—the Zorophim didn't take kindly to that!—"represent our strongest hold upon an already antic populace. We need their supernatural wisdom in order to terrorize our subjects into submission—"

  "How are your savants coming along with the translation of the secrets we have already given you?" inquired His Splendor.

  "They had better be coming along just swimmingly, else they'll lose their heads!" Pytho signed to some of his men. "These blue nightmares are to be returned to the palace. Unmolested. However, the two treacherous Atlanteans — hold." He leered at Aphrodisia. "No. Only one shall die. Since that fickle Captain Num has apparently deserted us, perhaps, to befit our new, kingly image, we should renew interest in the opposite sex. As you ascend to the gods, Vintner—or, more likely, descend to the infernal regions!—you can amuse yourself with the vision of this charming child locked in our embrace—"

  And he began to pinch and fondle her in the most shameless fashion!

  "No, no, kill me too!" she protested. "I want to die right along with Hoptor!"

  The little baggage! I could have throttled her for encouraging Pytho's mania for execution.

  "Let's waste no more time on this disreputable fellow," he said. "Yonder bench will serve as a handy block. Which one of you wants to act as headsman?"

  I was a little discomfited by the way the soldiers vied for the duty, offering oaths and sword flourishes as signs of enthusiasm.

  In short order, I was forced to kneel. My head was turned sidewise and my cheek thrust down on chill stone. Above me, he who had won Pytho's nod assumed a wide-legged stance.

  "That a man of honest, patriotic character should come to such an untimely end—" I began.

  I don't know exactly what I said after that. I was only conscious of my would-be executioner. With both hands upon his hilt, he raised his blade over his head.

  "Farewell, Aphrodisia," I may have remarked. "Farewell, noble Zorophim. Farewell, Atlantis, my natal state. May sunny skies one day smile upon you again—"

  "He's stalling," Pytho barked. "Get busy and chop his head off."

  The sword shimmered high above me. I closed my eyes with a sense of finality.

  Thereupon, we heard the call of brazen war horns.

  They sounded, it seemed, from all quarters at once. Someone raced by in the street, yelling.

  Pytho sent a soldier up a ladder to inquire about the disturbance.

  All of us thrilled with amazement as we heard the answer:

  "Strange great-sailed war ships, packed to the gunwales with howling men, have landed on the northern shore. The city's defenses are breached!"

  From rooftops all around, as the brazen horns kept braying, I heard fresh wails and screams. I also detected many voices uttering ululating war-cries.

  "The winegourd of Conax the Chimerical has floated home!" I announced. "His minions have arrived to rescue him, and also to sack, loot, rape, burn, and murder. Whatever happens to me, Pytho—you're finished!"

  * Fifteen *

  O what sweet satisfaction pierced me then—instead of the executioner's sword, it's my pleasure to report!

  Pytho first uttered a snigger of disbelief. But a moment later, he lapsed into concerned silence as the ululating warcries resounded ever more loudly.

  The troops under his command began to exchange fevered glances. Outside the wall, a woman shrilled:

  "Run for your lives! The painted invaders are everywhere! My sisters, my aunt, my cousin, and my mother have already been raped repeatedly. Flee, flee, doom's upon us all—!"

  Roundabout my villa, many shutters thwacked open. Voices demanded to know whether the alarm was genuine. Then, in a neat touch of meteorological punctuation, the very heavens roared and rocked with thunder.

  Lightning flashed brighter than I had ever seen it. The wind immediately began to howl. Pytho's assorted scars drained of color.

  In nearby streets, the tumult rose—as did the horrific howls of the barbarians. To this cacaphony was added the distinct sounds of doors being broken open, and citizens being assaulted and abused.

  Though trembling badly, Pytho managed to shout:

  "We must return and defend the palace! Headsman, finish your business at once!"

  "Not on your life!" I shrieked, fastening both hands on the executioner's wrist.

  Fired with desperation, I wrested the sword away from him. I began to hew the air vigorously, and it was by cunning design—not merely blind luck, as Aphrodisia insists!—that I fetched the former general a cut on the shinbone.

  "O gods defend me!" cried he, falling among the vines.

  The headsman blanched. "The king's down! We have no leader!"

  "Every man for himself—before the barbarians butcher us all!" I exclaimed. I grabbed Aphrodisia's hand and ran.

  Two of the demoralized soldiers made a pathetic attempt to stop us. A light clout from the fist of His Subservience opened the way handily.

  Such a din as we fled! War horns honking, houses being torn asunder, mad mobs pelting to and fro in directionless panic—in truth, as we rushed outside, it was all we could do to avoid being trampled.

  We huddled against the outer wall of the house. In a trice, the soldiers—all swagger and conceit just a short while ago!— poured out of the front doorway. They scampered as madly as the populace, I don't mind saying!

  "Look, citizens! Soldiers of the rotten, usurpations king!"

  Responding to this outcry by a passing grandmother, a crowd formed in a twinkling. When I espied the grandmother vigorously gouging one sol
dier's eyes, I knew that Conax the Chimerical had succeeded in planting the rumors. The populace was in open revolt against the establishment!

  "This way!" I said. "We must seek the protection of Conax at once. Else we're liable to be murdered along with the current administration!"

  Having left the soldiers in a moaning heap, the mob rushed away in the opposite direction. Our party turned right, past the garden wall. Within, I heard Pytho still bellowing for assistance.

  Once more the lightning fumed, making the spark-filled skies even brighter. Many more fires had been set. With a little help from the gods, fair Atlantis would soon be rubble!

  We seemed to be making excellent progress—we had gone about ten squares toward the central city—when another group of men rounded a corner ahead. From their fur wrappings, paint-daubed faces, greasy hair, long spears, wicker shields, and berserk exclamations, I deduced they were not friendly.

  "Into this alley," I panted, "we'll—Aphrodisia! For heavens sake watch your footing!"

  The baggage had slipped on a fruit peel. As I struggled to help her rise, the barbarian horde charged full speed.

  Spears cast by mighty-thewed arms whicked and whacked all around us. "It will take a miracle to save us now!" I observed.

  Bless the gods eternally! They heard my plea, and withheld their fury no longer!

  Following a mighty boom of thunder, the clouds opened.

  The deluge which had been long aborning descended at last upon the Island Kingdom.

  Indeed, the first moments of rain were so blinding, the barbarians were forced to halt in their tracks. That gave us the chance we needed. We detoured at once down the preselected alley.

  Thunder rolled more and more loudly, until it seemed the very night would crack open. In the long run, however, the outpouring of the heavens prevented a greater holocaust. In the rain, the barbarians had trouble telling friend from foe. The fury of their attack temporarily abated. Also, the rain helped extinguish many fires.

  But everywhere, it seemed, we encountered mobs in mad flight. And the moment the rain slacked just a little, corps of barbarians commenced demolishing homes and shops again.

  By stopping several fleeing citizens and mentioning my name at the top of my lungs, I learned that Conax had last been seen at the Grain Market. We rushed thither, bursting into the square as lightning lit up the heavens.

  What a sight we beheld! Broadsword in hand and spattered with gore, the Chimerical warrior was supervising the destruction of the grain stores. But it was not his own force, but rather a mob of rebellious Atlanteans, carrying the huge sacks into the plaza and knifing them open.

  As each sack spilled its contents, other citizens pressed forward with captured Atlantean officers. One by one, Pytho's functionaries were jammed headfirst into small mountains of meal. They thrashed only a brief time. It was an effective, if ghastly, means of execution. It unsettled me not a little, I don't mind confessing!

  "Conax!" I called, hurrying to him. "You must put a stop to this slaughter. These men are only witless tools of the throne!"

  "Hail, Hoptor!" he greeted me, a gruesome grin on his gory face. "I assumed that by now, Crok had claimed you for his own."

  "I eluded that fate by a hairbreadth. Obviously you planted the seeds of rebellion well."

  "Aye, they sprang up instantly and blossomed full at the arrival of my host. Isn't this a splendid night's work? It rivals the time I led my hot-blooded heroes against the waryaks of the wicked wazir."

  "Yes, yes, you're doing wonderfully. But I still say these officers don't deserve such a cruel fate. It's Pytho you want."

  "That ugly little slug? I received a report about him just moments ago."

  "What sort of report?"

  "A party of my lads found him wandering in the streets. He was dazed with pain from a wound in his shinbone. My bold-hearted bravos bore him instantly to the seawall."

  "What did they do with him there?"

  "Threw him off! Your misbegotten monarch is meeting his makers down in the watery depths. You're free of Pytho's oppression at last, Hoptor."

  So saying, he clapped me on the back.

  Upon regaining my feet and digesting the news, I could not help exclaiming:

  "Then fair Atlantis is free also! And there's no further excuse for fighting! You must check your warriors, Conax. Else they'll reduce the city to a ruin."

  "Check them? I'm afraid I can't do that. They've been confined aboard ship for weeks. They've built up an insatiable desire to rape, loot, sack, burn, and murder."

  "But they're in civilized territory now! If you can't put a brake on the pillage, at least stop these horrible and senseless executions. Pytho's troops will become as mild as household goats, if you'll only tell them their oppressor is dead. Have you any evidence of that fact?"

  "Why, yes, if you really think it's important—"

  Obviously peeved, he stalked to a nearby granary. Shortly he emerged carrying a grisly object.

  "Actually, only the bottom part of Pytho went into the waves. My minions brought me this souvenir."

  I'd seen him flourish a head before. But he flourished this one with even greater relish! There was no doubt it was the tyrant, thoroughly deceased.

  "Very good, Conax—"

  "Thanks, I thought so."

  "But see here! Morally, we Atlanteans are on your side. It's not fair to continue slaughtering and plundering once the prime target is removed."

  "Crok curse your oiled tongue! You're always trying to spoil a fellow's fun!"

  But under the pressure of my arguments, he finally relented.

  First he called a halt to the suffocations. Then he displayed Pytho's head to the officers who had been spared. They flung off their armor to a man. Some even cried impromptu slogans about Atlantean liberty.

  "Satisfied?" Conax barked.

  "Not quite! You must send messengers into every quarter—enlist those officers for the assignment. They must convey your personal message that your barbarians refrain from doing all but minimum damage. Come, come, stop pouting! You're still the hero of the hour!"

  This leavened his gloom a little. And the officers responded eagerly to his call for volunteers. Thus, not long after it had begun, the furious revolt began to grind to a halt.

  By the first light of morning, fair Atlantis had quieted. The fires were out. And no one shrieked in the steadily falling rain.

  Still, it had been a devastating night.

  As I wandered from street to street, this became more and more clear. Virtually all of the Island Kingdom had been reduced to wreckage. The more flimsy structures had been razed entirely. In less fragile buildings, interiors had been burned to cinders, or flooded by the torrential rains. It would literally take years to restore it all. Not to mention a small fortune!

  I walked on, through crowds of sobbing citizens who had returned to their homes, only to find them unlivable. Conditions were the same all over fair Atlantis—sad outcome indeed for a so-called victory!

  * Sixteen *

  By noonday, the rain ceased altogether. But by then, most of the streets ran hock-deep in water. It became necessary for the water works staff to open four seawall valves during the period of low tide. Thus the excess drained away.

  Meantime, experts from the palace architectural office completed a rapid survey. The news spread within an hour—they estimated it would take on the order of seven hundred and fifty thousand zebs to make necessary repairs to all damaged property. A hasty accounting revealed something less than twenty-two hundred zebs in the treasury—though this was hardly surprising, given the profligate ways of the late Geriasticus. Plainly, Atlantis had been destroyed virtually overnight. This inspired several fresh riots.

  As to the leadership of the government, it fell upon the shoulders of wool-witted Babylos!

  He had turned up wandering in a bemused state at dawn. Though I attempted to secure the position for myself, I had no luck. Probably because the fickle public seized on the
fact that almost all of Babylos' prophecies had come to pass. Therefore he was venerated instantly by a confused and alarmed populace, and invited to closet himself in the gutted palace with the leaders of the Zorophim.

  In this manner, an uneasy day drew to a close.

  We Atlanteans were free. But we were also destitute. And we had not the means to rebuild our kingdom, unless we all migrated to distant lands, secured jobs, and regularly sent home a portion of our wages. I, for one, found the very suggestion appalling!

  At dusk I went to the palace along with thousands of others, to await the outcome of the high level conference. I managed to secure a place in the courtyard, but countless citizens found themselves crowded outside the palace walls, or perched perilously on the remains of neighboring rooftops. A sea of torches illumined the multitude.

  The mellow light treated Aphrodisia favorably. She'd located a fresh gown and cleaned herself up a bit. She was in a merry mood, too, which I found out of keeping with the grim realities. I believed I knew the reason for her gaiety. She was constantly pinching my cheek or squeezing my hand. I did my best to ignore it.

  The barbarians of Conax the Chimerical—several hundred fiercely-furred brutes in all—had established themselves in one quarter of the courtyard. Here they built fires from pieces of imperial furniture. At the moment they were roasting meat on spits and drinking themselves into insensibility. Where they found meat to cook, I preferred not to inquire!

  The citizens stayed well away from these warriors, because now and then, some ferocious fellow would rise, begin to beat his breast and shoot out challenging glances.

  Seated near me on the palace steps, Conax the Chimerical looked admiringly on this bravado. Like his painted furies, he seemed sullen and restive.

  At last the remaining half of one palace door opened on sagging hinges. Bearded Babylos appeared, followed by His Splendor, Her Radiance, His Subservience, and several other blue beings to whom I had not been introduced. The multitude greeted Babylos with huzzahs. I applauded only politely, unable to quell a jealous twinge.

  Babylos stilled the mob with upraised hands.