Descension

by Shani Struthers

  They were soulless eyes, she thought, bracing herself for more horror. Although how could that be? Everybody had a soul. Still the thought persisted. Who are you? She asked the question, but this time she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Rather, she wanted him to fade away; disappear entirely. She was suddenly desperate for him to do just that, to leave her alone. She wanted nothing to do with him, nothing!

  “Eclipse?” Her voice was small, reedy, as she groped blindly for him.

  “I’m here, Ruby, I’m here.”

  Thank God, because she couldn’t endure this alone. The man’s eyes, there was such madness in them. Theo’s words – some people need to be here – flashed neon in her mind. It was just too dangerous to allow them to roam free.

  Don’t you want to know my name?

  What a bastard he was; he was teasing her. Vehemently she shook her head, causing him to laugh, to reveal blackened stumps for teeth.

  Oh, you’ll know it soon enough, Ruby. You’ll know it soon enough.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “You did what? You went back to the asylum, with Eclipse? You told me you wouldn’t go in there without the full back-up of your team; that you wouldn’t contemplate it.”

  Cash was angry, and he had every right to be, but Ruby wished he would back off; be gentler with her. She was still reeling from what had happened the previous night; the fact that she hadn’t even got as far as the entrance to the building before a tide of images consumed her – human stories – with a face finally appearing that didn’t seem human at all; that belonged to a monster.

  “It’s just… Theo and Ness seem to be going through the mill lately, and you wanted to get on with your work—”

  “Don’t use that as an excuse! You encouraged me to get on with my work and I only did it so I could help you later in the week.”

  They were standing in the living room of his flat, surrounded by all his computers, displays and hubs, multi-coloured cables snaking everywhere. It was a world she found impossible to understand sometimes – ironically. It was late morning and she was tired, having hardly slept at all as the man in that final vision kept floating in front of her whenever she’d closed her eyes, just as vivid as he’d been outside the asylum. She must have dozed at some point, however, as the night passed quickly enough, and, knowing that Cash would be working from home today, she’d got up, and headed there, with Jed keeping as close to her as he’d done all through the night, and she drawing comfort from him. He’d disappeared now. As soon as Cash and Ruby had begun to raise their voices, he’d hightailed it back to some distant Elysium field.

  “Look, Cash, I don’t know what’s wrong with you these past few days. You’re not like the Cash I know.”

  “I don’t like lies, that’s all.”

  “I wasn’t lying!”

  “You weren’t being honest either. And it’s not the first time.”

  “The first time? Oh, you’re not referring to Old Cross Cottage, are you?”

  “You said we were going on holiday…”

  “I’ve apologised a hundred times for that. More probably. Regarding last night, I didn’t lie.”

  “Right, okay, so what would you call it, being economical with the truth, just like you were with the landlord at The Waterside Inn?”

  “Okay, yeah. But for good reason, on both counts!”

  “Ruby, if you were planning on going to that building, you should have said. I would have come with you, not Eclipse. He’s no more bloody psychic than I am, but hey, if you prefer his company… Actually, there’s no if about it, you clearly do.”

  Bewildered as well as angry, Ruby stringently denied it. “Of course I don’t prefer his company. How can you even think that?”

  Cash made a show at looking aghast. “Pretty damn easily.”

  Unable to keep still, she started to pace the living room, kicking a few wires out of the way while she was at it. “It’s like you don’t trust me.”

  “I’m not sure I do.”

  She whirled round. “For God’s sake, I’m not going to run everything I do by you! I know we’re together, Cash, we’re a couple, but we’re also our own people. I have the right to make a decision about my business without consulting you. It’s not as if you ever ask me my opinion about running your business.”

  “Because other than the basics you don’t understand computers.”

  “And you clearly don’t understand my business, despite giving a good impression that you do!”

  She paced right up to him and they stood glaring at each other, barely an inch apart. It seemed like an eternity passed, although in reality it was probably moments. Her shoulders slumping, she felt deflated suddenly; opening her mouth again, not to shout, not this time, but to try and reach an understanding.

  “Cash—”

  “Perhaps we need a break.”

  She was stunned by his suggestion, temporarily rendered mute. As he continued to stare at her, his words sunk in, the meaning of them.

  “You’re not serious?” she said.

  Breaking their locked gaze, he turned his head to one side slightly, as if unable to look at her anymore. “It’s just, I’m feeling a bit… I need a break.”

  She reached out a hand and laid it on his arm. “Cash, can we stop with this Eclipse thing? I don’t want him, I want you.”

  “This isn’t just about Eclipse.”

  “So what else is it about?”

  He backed away from her, an action that stung.

  “Cash…” she tried again. There was no way he was being serious.

  “I’ve got stuff on my mind at the moment, Ruby, and I need some time to think. I know you’ve got this case on, but I don’t feel as if I’m involved in it anyway. And well… it’s not as if I’m leaving you alone to deal with it; you’ve got your team.”

  And Eclipse.

  The words hung in the air like lead.

  A sob lodged in her throat, but she forced it back down. “Cash, tell me what’s wrong, why you’re saying all this. The real reason.”

  Cash shook his head. “Just leave it, Ruby. I want you to leave it.”

  “So, you’re breaking up with me?”

  “No! I want a few days, that’s all!”

  She was as vehement as him. “Cash, Eclipse is just a client!”

  “Like I said, this isn’t just about Eclipse. Give me some time and space. That’s all I’m asking. Please, Ruby.”

  It was the plea in his voice that got to her more than anything – he was begging her, actually begging her. Taking a step back and then another, she fled the room.

  * * *

  Ness lived the closest to Cash, and so Ruby went there, desperate for a shoulder to cry on. Damn it, she was crying already, her head down as she hurried through the streets, barely able to see the pavement in front of her, her vision was so blurred. How was this possible? To be so happy one day, so full of hope for the future, and then to have one of those hopes wither and die? I want a few days, that’s all. Why? Besides Eclipse, what other reason was there? And if he was the one lying, if it was solely about Eclipse, how come he was so quick to distrust her? She was working with the man for Christ’s sake, not flirting with him. Not once had she flirted with him.

  When Ness opened the door to her modest terraced house in the Malling area of Lewes, Ruby burst into proper tears. Alarmed, Ness stepped forward and embraced her in a hug. It felt awkward at first – she and Ness had never really hugged like this – but it also felt good. Ness was a good friend as well as a colleague; a best friend, despite any differences they may have had in the past. She’d done the right thing in coming here, for she knew Ness could provide the comfort she so desperately needed; could soothe the emotions which had built and built over the last week thanks to Brookbridge and the contact with her father, the anxiety and excitement of getting to meet him at last. It had been a layer cake of emotions, an onslaught at times; there was no other word for it, but all of it bearable, all of it… because she had C
ash. The thought that she was in danger of losing him prompting a fresh tide of tears, Ness was quick to usher her inside. In the living room, she ordered her to sit on the sofa, offered a tissue and then asked what was wrong.

  So many words came spilling out of Ruby’s mouth, some of them coherent, some of them a garbled mess. Ness got the gist, though, she always did.

  “Ruby, listen to what Cash said, he wants a few days that’s all. Maybe it is Eclipse on his mind, or maybe there’s something else. Whatever the reason, everyone needs a bit of space on occasion.”

  “It is Eclipse, Ness. He’s jealous. Right from the start he’s been jealous and there’s no reason to be! It’s all so… unfair. It feels like I’m in the dock being accused of something I’m not guilty of.” Ness raised an eyebrow at this analogy and Ruby groaned. “Yeah, yeah,” she continued, “it’s the story of so many, I guess.”

  “With far worse consequences,” Ness reminded her.

  “I know, but the way he’s behaving, it’s odd.”

  “Ruby, Cash loves you, and you love him, it’s as plain as day, but as much as we might want to, we can never know another person fully. There are aspects to everyone that remain private and rather than fear that, or rail against it, perhaps it’s just easier to accept it. It’s just not possible to understand someone all the time, what motivates them and their actions. The same applies to ourselves.”

  Ruby was so preoccupied with her own tumbling emotions that it took her a moment to register a slight hitch in Ness’s voice as she uttered that last sentence; a glassiness to her eyes; a shadow that slid across her face, fleeting, but full of pain.

  She reached across. “Ness, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I’m fine.”

  She’d been brushed off already today and wasn’t about to let it happen again. “Ness…” she said, her voice as authoritative as Theo’s.

  Ness seemed to fold in on herself. “It’s this private case Theo and I are working on. We’ve told you before how gruelling it is.”

  “Aaron Hames? Yes, you have, although contrary to what you were saying, he can see inside your soul, but only the dark stuff. Because of that, you only visit him for short bursts at a time. What you didn’t say is why you’re visiting him.”

  “In short, it’s a case study. We’ve been called in because it’s hoped we can understand him, and in understanding, shed some light on how best to treat him.” Ness leaned forward, her dark eyes earnest. “Hames is on drugs, the strongest they’re able to give him, but even on those he has periods of startling lucidity. My recommendation and conclusion is that Ash Hill is not equipped to deal with him. I think he should be sent to a high security unit where treatment and observation can be continued in more rigid circumstances. After what happened recently, his team are in agreement.”

  “What happened recently?” Ruby asked, held spellbound by what she was saying.

  Ness hesitated, but only briefly. Ruby sensed a need in her to talk; to lift the weight off her shoulders; to share the load. “A suicide. One of the staff.”

  “Because of Hames?”

  “And what he could see; the taunting that followed; the digs, the bullying.”

  “Oh, Ness.” Ruby exhaled. “That’s terrible.”

  “It is. There’s a great reluctance to work with him and you can understand why. It’s hard… to be exposed like that.” Tears sprang to Ness’s eyes and Ruby was stunned, her own troubles temporarily shelved. She’d never seen Ness cry. “Theo’s a good person; there isn’t much he can grab on to, but with me… there’s plenty.”

  “Ness, don’t do it anymore, don’t put yourself through this.”

  “But there are people at risk,” Ness replied, reaching for a tissue. “If I can help in any way to disarm Hames, I have to do it. Theo feels the same. They don’t treat patients how they used to, you know. You can’t just lock them up and throw away the key. The medical team are accountable for his wellbeing, for the measures they use. What I’m trying to say is, someone has to work with him.”

  “But not necessarily you. Not if it’s too much.”

  “What you’ve faced at the asylum, the visions that fill your head, the insights, are they too much for you?”

  Ruby’s smile was a pained one. “You could say that. Last night, I didn’t even get as far as the doorway. Pretty soon, I won’t be able to set foot on the estate!”

  “What?” Ness was as shocked as Cash had been. “You went last night?”

  After explaining why she’d gone and what had happened, an overwhelming feeling of tiredness descended on Ruby, a tiredness reflected in Ness’s eyes. “I’ll have to go back though, and soon. All other cases and enquiries are on hold at the moment. I sorted that out this morning, before I went to see Cash. This has to take priority. I’m going to give it my best shot, Ness. If I fail, I fail. At least I’ll know I’ve tried.”

  “That’s all we can do, our best.”

  “It’s what I’ve promised myself, promised Eclipse, and in my mind, it’s what I’ve promised them, the lost souls.”

  “And it’ll stand you in good stead, Ruby, that you’re with them; that you’re on their side; that you’ll stand by them when so many didn’t; that you have their best interests at heart, when others didn’t care at all.”

  We’re treated like vermin. But we’re not! We’re human.

  That’s what one spirit had declared – such anger, such astonishment accompanying those words, that anyone could treat another human that way.

  “Hopefully one of them will realise it,” Ruby replied, “even just one.”

  “Save one, save the world,” Ness said, perhaps reading Ruby’s mind, that sentiment being very much at the forefront of it – or perhaps it was a sign of how in tune they were with each other, especially in this moment. Ruby wasn’t like Hames; she didn’t know Ness’s deepest darkest secrets – the woman was still an enigma in so many ways – but whatever those dark secrets were, there was enough good to balance, if not outweigh them. And that was enough for Ruby, more than enough.

  She glanced at her watch. “Christ, look at the time, the day’s slipping away. I need to crack on.”

  “Ruby,” Ness’s voice was firm, her gaze too, “you’re going nowhere, not today. You can’t go back to Cromer depleted; none of us can. You need to rest.”

  “Rest?” she queried, contemplating it. Rest meant returning home, to her flat, alone. As she bit down on her lip, Ness squeezed her hand.

  “Stay here, in the spare room. Believe me, I could use the company too.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Much to Ruby’s surprise, a very pleasant evening passed at Ness’s house, with the older woman proving to be something of an accomplished cook. She rustled up not one course but three, Italian in theme, opened a bottle of red, and then another, both of them clearly in need of dulling the edges. They chatted and they laughed, many times. The conversation wasn’t particularly deep; they’d done the deep stuff. It was more light-hearted than that, again something they both needed.

  Ruby couldn’t resist talking about Peter, mentioning both his son and daughter, and how she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to take to them; that she got the impression they looked down on her and her profession. She was even able to laugh a little about it although at the time, it had actually irked her considerably.

  “They sound like a pair of stuck-up arseholes.”

  Ness’s remark caused Ruby to almost splutter her wine everywhere – ‘arseholes’ not a word she’d ever envisaged leaving Ness’s mouth. After being so distraught, she went to bed feeling upbeat. Not just that, surprisingly hopeful. When she checked her phone, however, there was no message from Cash declaring that he’d been an arsehole too. Before she could well up again, she climbed into bed in the somewhat sparsely furnished bedroom and practically forced herself into a deep sleep, not waking until eight the next morning to the smell of sizzling bacon in the air.

  When she entered the kitchen, Ness was st
arting to dish up. She had coffee on the go as well, and several rounds of toast that were dripping butter. Beside the table, Jed stared eagerly upwards, his tail wagging. Ness didn’t acknowledge him when she brought the plates to the table, but she did neatly swerve sideways, suggesting she knew he was there all right. Of them all, only Ruby could see him clearly; her mother could too, and on a few occasions, Theo.

  “I’d better not stay here too often,” remarked Ruby, sitting on the chair she’d occupied the previous night. “I’d be the size of a house the way you feed me.”

  Ness groaned. “Oh, Ruby, my head! It’s been a long time since I’ve drunk that much, I can tell you. A good fry-up should put us right, though. We need to eat well and sleep well this week if we’re going to be dealing with Cromer and its residents.”

  “I couldn’t agree more,” Ruby said, picking up her knife and fork. She’d stopped herself from checking her phone this morning, although she was itching to, because somehow she didn’t want anything to burst this bubble she was in with Ness, it would pop soon enough, when both of them started tackling the outside world again and all who occupied it; but right now, being here, it was like being in hiding; protected almost. Actually, there was no almost about it. She felt safe with Ness, loved.

  “You would have made a good mum,” Ruby said, in between mouthfuls. At once her hand flew to her mouth. What on earth had possessed her to say that?

  Rather than take offence, Ness smiled – albeit tentatively. “Thank you, Ruby, that’s very kind. And before you ask why I didn’t have children, it’s because I’ve never met the right person.” She paused. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a nun. I’m a normal woman with needs. I have a male friend I see on occasion, but there’s an understanding between us to only take things so far. I’m just… happier on my own.”

  “Happier,” Ruby questioned, “or is it easier?”