Always Three: A MMM Menage Coming Out of the Closet Romance (The Always Series Book 7)

by J. P. James

  I saw how the twins looked after him. They treated Danny like royalty. Once when they were both sick with the cold, they told me Danny refused to see them for two weeks until they got better. I’m no relationship expert, clearly, but what kind of douchebag leaves their partners in the dust like that? Still, they cared about him, so they ignored all the small issues out of love. Sometimes love seems so stupid I don’t know why we bother with it.

  I focus on the guys once more, and realize that they are staring past me. Realization flashes through their minds, before their eyes refocus.

  “We weren’t good enough for him,” Hudson says lamely.

  What? My throat goes dry and it takes a moment to force my voice to work.

  “He couldn’t be free with us, so he cut himself out,” Hayden adds.

  The guys break their eye contact, licking their lips like the memories have a bitter taste. For them, I know it does. They always fall hard and fast for their guys.

  “You guys have to know that that isn’t true,” I tell them between sniffles. “You are two of the best people I’ve ever met. Screw Danny. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay. I’ll figure things out. I want you to focus on yourselves, okay?”

  I step closer to them. They let me, but approaching them feels like walking up to an animal in the wild. Hayden shakes his head. It’s a small gesture, but I can tell he’s trying to shake the weight of the world off his shoulders.

  “We should be the ones that should be telling you you’re okay,” he tells me.

  His posture tells me he wants to run a thousand miles away from this conversation, but I know he won’t move. Not while I’m here.

  “I’m fine. I mean–,” I pause, trying to gather more of my thoughts. “I mean, this is traumatic, of course it is, but life goes on. Janine leaving isn’t the end of the world. I’m such a coward that she’s doing me a favor.”

  “You don’t love her,” Hudson says. There’s an accusation in his tone, but mixed with pain and sadness.

  “I told you to lay off him, Hudson,” Hayden grumbles.

  Hayden watches as Hudson and I stare each other down. He’s waiting for me to give in and admit he’s right. Fine.

  “I love Janine, but I’m not in love with her,” I tell them. “She’s been my support but I don’t think I feel about her the way a husband should feel about his wife.”

  I chuckle then, remembering the wedding presents stacked in the corner of the ballroom.

  “We’ll have to forfeit the registry, and return all the gifts,” I tell them. “It’s a shame. I was looking forward to a nice set of knives.”

  Hudson and Hayden consider me for a second, assessing my attempt at a joke during a time like this.

  Hudson chuckles first, shaking his head the entire time. Hayden smiles, and it’s simple and wonderful. With that, it feels like a layer of tension lifts out of the room. Even when they’re mad at me, no one is as good at comforting me as these two are. With one laugh, my fears melt away. Their words are armor for when I go back out into the real world.

  “Ricky, we’re always looking out for you. You know that,” Hudson tells me.

  I nod. I can feel my guilt rise back up in my throat.

  “I only want what’s best for you guys too. You mean the world to me,” I admit.

  Hayden crosses the room first. When he reaches me, his hands go to my shoulders. He doesn’t hold me, isn’t trying to ground me, but his touch is reassuring nonetheless.

  “Be honest. What can we do to help?” He asks.

  I study his face, especially the laugh lines around his eyes. Looking back at Hudson, he has matching ones as well. They’ve always been big belly laughers, so full of fun and adventure that they can’t contain their excitement with the world. I want that. I want to feel carefree.

  “Can you unwind the last five years?” I say ruefully.

  He laughs as I bump my head to the side, feeling the top of his hand against my ear.

  “Don’t you think that’s a little dramatic?” Hudson wonders.

  Why can’t Hudson stop being right today? It’d be infuriating, if I didn’t have such tremendous respect for my friends.

  Hayden’s hands clasp my shoulders then, and it pulls me out of my head. He lifts one hand, and wipes away a tear falling down my cheek. I pull back, scared that I didn’t notice I was crying.

  “Shit, I’m sorry,” I say quickly.

  Hayden shakes his head. “You said you’ll be alright. It’s also okay if you aren’t,” he assures.

  The tears stop, but I lose my breath and gasp loudly into the room. Hudson closes in then, watching my trembling hands.

  “You said it yourself. Today has been traumatic. You might feel a little manic for a while, but it’s normal. Don’t worry on anything except feeling better,” he explains.

  Here they are again, calming me down when I can’t deal with life. It’s been so long since we’ve spent this much time together, been alone just us three. I think I’ve craving it without realizing as much. I’ve been starved of my best friends for too long, and I don’t want let go now.

  “I have a favor to ask,” I say under my breath.

  Their eyes tell me everything, but Hudson goes ahead and says it out loud.

  “Anything. You know that,” he confirms.

  My eyes drop, first to Hudson’s lips and then Hayden’s. They’re nearly identical, both full and pink. They’re a little chapped, but that doesn’t surprise me. In their line of work, I’m surprised they aren’t in worse shape.

  My throat tries to close, but I fight it. I gulp on nothing, wishing I had water, booze, or something cool to extinguish the fire in my lungs. My face feels hot. I might just burst into tears again, but I won’t let my nerves get in the way. Not now.

  “I want a kiss.”

  They lick their lips at the same time, my eyes searching their faces for a sign. Yes? No? Their eyes dart to each other quickly, not long enough that I can read what it means, but Hayden cuts the silence first.

  “A kiss?” His voice is breathy and unsure.

  His hands come up off my shoulders. Suddenly, the heat subsides, and I realize that isn’t a good thing. He should have left them where they were. I want his hands on me.

  If I can’t have that though, then I need to put distance between us all. I step back. I force us to stand in a triangle, eyeing each other equally.

  “You heard me. A kiss. From both of you,” I state, rather confidently if I say so myself. Where this newfound gusto is coming from, I have no idea.

  Hudson crosses his arms while Hayden’s go to his hips. My hands flounder for a second before I settle for burying them in my pockets. It reminds me when we were kids, standing at the ready for the next adventure.

  We’d goof off with our swords. We’d dual, except it’d be the three of us like this. Sword tips out, hands gripping hilts, with our eyes trained on our opponents. Two would gang up on the third, usually me, but it’d end with us rolling around the floor in fits of laughter. This, however, is a real battle. A battle of wills.

  “Thirty minutes ago, you were about to marry someone else. A woman on top of that,” Hudson chirps.

  Hayden nods his head, but he looks hesitant. I take a steading breath in, touching bits of lint inside my pockets.

  “The past five years my life was barreling down the open highway, but thirty minutes ago my life flew towards the exit. Now I’m on some dirt road in the middle of nowhere, trying to find my way home.”

  They look like I hit them over the head with a hammer.

  “Can you dumb that down for us? Why a kiss?” Hudson tries.

  I take another breath, trying to push air in and out as the word try to lodge in my gut.

  “When I let my mind start to race and I can’t control my insecurities, I think about you guys. All through our lives, you’ve helped me find my way. You guys are home to me. I just–,” I pause to lick my dry lips, “You guys are home, and I just want to go home.

 
; Hayden comes to and laughs under his breath.

  “So a passionate kiss with us is what? A toll road?” He asks.

  I chuckle, the confidence swelling up again and giving me the strength to bring my hands out of my pockets. I face them head on, braced for anything. No matter what they do now, I’ll take it.

  They cross the distance at the same time, standing off my shoulders inches away from my face. My mind goes blank. From this point on, I’m running on instinct. Hayden bends forward, his hands pinned to his sides. He puckers slightly, and presses his lips gently against mine.

  The second they touch me, I understand how doomed I am. His pink, full, slightly chapped lips are perfect. I press mine back against his, relishing the slight give and take as our mouths slot together. MORE

  He pulls away, and I lose my balance a bit trying to chase him. It doesn’t matter then, because Hudson takes up the task. This time, his hand finds my cheek. He cups it lightly. His rough fingers graze my skin as he leans forward and his lips meet mine.

  Oh, yeah. I’m mostly certainly fucked.

  His lips are just as wonderful. They feel the same as Hayden’s, but Hudson’s push and pull differently. He’s more guarded, but passionate. His fingers curl into my face, and then in a flash, he steps back next to Hayden.

  I feel breathless in the best way. If not breathing is what it takes to be able to kiss these two, I’ll gladly give it up.

  I reach both hands up, each cupping the back of their heads. I play with the hair on the nape of their necks, cherishing the new touch. I’ve never been like this, with them, before. The only thought that’s blaringly obvious in my mind…why haven’t I done this sooner?

  I tug their heads to mine, and they come willingly. It isn’t long before their lips catch on the corners of mine, sharing mine equally between them.

  I savor their tastes, and try to note more differences between their styles. Hudson’s hand comes to my hips, while Hayden’s wraps around my arm, holding my hand in place.

  Time loses all meaning after that. We just exist and savor the moment. Their hands start to roam around my sides, my back, and I arch into it. My hands do their own exploring, finding their chests, backs, sides. Hayden groans into my mouth when I brush against his upper thigh, but instead of pulling away, he lunges at me. I let him, because there’s no way I was stopping this now.

  We didn’t anticipate that someone would try to bang down the door and key into the room.

  5

  Hayden

  “What in the ever-loving fuck are you doing?”

  I push off Ricky, stumbling backwards a little as my eyes focus on the source of the shrill voice.

  A pink-haired pixie-like woman pushes the door open the rest of the way. Hudson isn’t so clumsy with his movements. Instead of jerking away from Ricky, he steps back slowly, gracefully, as the woman comes barreling into the room.

  The strange girl throws the key card onto the table. Her attitude and style remind me of a 1970’s rock star. She looks like she’s ready to wreck the room and then go binge drinking on the town. Maybe that’ll be later tonight, but she has other business right now. Instead of trashing the place, she walks right up to Ricky with fire burning in her eyes.

  “I said, what in the ever-locking fuck are you–,” she tries, but Ricky has his hands up and cuts her off.

  “Sarah, please,” he begs.

  He holds her at arms’ length as she berates him, her fiery eyes dancing between us as she yells.

  “Please what? I can’t find Janine anywhere, and you’re here playing seven minutes in heaven with these two lugs,” she says, her vibrant locks dancing in the light.

  That’s when I notice her dress. She’s wearing a bright green dress, the same style as the ones the bridesmaids were wearing. But why wasn’t she standing by the altar? Who is this woman? And better yet, why is Ricky letting her talk to him like this?

  “Excuse me,” I say, holding my own hands up in case she’s on the attack. “Who are you?”

  She offers a sly smile as Ricky adjusts his shirt. He brings one arm up, gesturing to the newcomer like she’s Exhibit A.

  “This is Sarah, Janine’s best friend. She’s the maid of honor.”

  Sarah snorts, and then turns away from Ricky to watch Hudson and me carefully.

  “I’m also Ricky’s friend. He just hates to admit that he’d ever befriend someone as loud and obnoxious as me,” she says happily.

  Ricky rolls his eyes, but I can see the hint of a smile ticking up his lips.

  “Why do I have to announce anything, when I have you to barge in and introduce yourself?”

  Sarah glares at him, and he glares right back. As far as staring contests go, these two are evenly matched.

  “Go on, Ricky,” she goads, “tell them our love story.”

  Ricky looks back at us, his eyes rolling all the way back into his head.

  “I met Sarah our freshman year. She lived in the same dorm as Janine and I. I’m pretty sure she invited herself into my room the first time. She ate all my snacks and left promptly. I found out later she was high as a kite, but she was so nice to me I didn’t mind. We’ve been close ever since,” he finishes before he turns back to her. “You happy now?”

  Sarah smiles at Ricky, but I see that there’s nothing but genuine care for him. Even her hair looks less edgy than it did a minute ago.

  She steps up to him, her small hand on his bicep and giving it a welcome squeeze.

  “How are you doing?” She wonders.

  “Fine,” he blurts out, giving it no thought whatsoever.

  She doesn’t buy it either, her head lolling towards us and back.

  “Really? Is that why you were just making out with two guys?” She says, poking his side for emphasis.

  Hudson clears his throat next to me, and I jolt.

  “It was nothing,” he tells her. “Just a crazy turn of events.”

  Sarah turns to him, her eyes sparkling.

  “’Crazy turn of events,’ huh?” She says back, completely bemused. “Is that what they call hooking up these days?”

  Ricky pulls away from her, and she refocuses her attention on him.

  “He’s right,” Ricky says like he’s struggling to breath. “It just happened.”

  Sarah looks at me quickly. Whatever she sees in my eyes, I don’t know, but she nods slightly.

  “I mean, I know these things can just happen,” she explains. “You guys just seem different.”

  “What do you mean?” I question her.

  At that, she leaves Ricky and marches towards Hudson and me. She flashes us a brilliant smile, and extends her hand to me.

  “Let’s make this official. I’m Sarah, Ricky and Janine’s token lesbian friend,” she tells us.

  Well, that’s one way to introduce yourself. Her handshake is firm yet friendly, and I feel my shoulders relax slightly. Hudson laughs next to us, but he looks like he immediately wants to take it back. He’s stunned I guess. We all are.

  “I’m Hayden, and this is my brother Hudson. We grew up with Ricky,” I say.

  Sarah takes Hudson’s hand next, offering him the same sweet smile. “It’s nice to meet you both. Ricky never shuts up about you.”

  I look at in time to see Ricky’s red cheeks, before he ducks down to hide his face from us.

  “Really?” Hudson asks. “Ricky’s never mentioned you before. You weren’t at the rehearsal either.”

  Sarah cracks a sassy smile. “I just got back from a three-month cruise. I’m a dancer, and I traveled with the band as the ship sailed around Mexico.”

  “Wow,” the exclamation comes out before I think of something cleverer to say.

  “Wow, indeed,” she beams back at me. “I helped Janine plan as much as I could from sea. Bless the internet, am I right? But I promised I’d be back for the big day, and here I am.”

  She turns to Ricky, who’s looking up again but the red stain hasn’t disappeared from his face. She smiles and quickly tur
ns back to us.

  “Aren’t straight weddings the worst?” She asks rhetorically.

  Hudson and I share a look, wondering what she’s getting at, but she keeps going. She puts her hands on her hips, and then cocks them to one side.

  “They’re weird. Everyone makes such a huge deal out of them, even though there are hundreds of statistics that say the more you spend on a wedding, the likelier you are to divorce. I say, go to city hall and get a certificate like any self-respecting queer couple,” she ends with a fairy-like wave of her hand.

  While Sarah met us in possibly the worst, most-compromising position possible, I like her. She’s a bit crass but unflinchingly honest. Plus, she might tease Ricky, but it’s obvious that she cares for him.

  “There’s something romantic about a wedding,” Hudson all but mumbles.

  We all look at him. He’s picking at a patch of skin on his hand, his gaze fixed on the spot instead of meeting any of ours. He finally looks us when Sarah makes a half-chuckle, half-groan from the back of her throat.

  “Lots of gay couples throw huge parties too, Sarah,” Ricky chimes in. “Didn’t you go to Sally and Corinne’s wedding last year?”

  Sarah’s eyes go wide as memories no doubt come rushing back to her. She holds her head on her hand a moment, and shakes it quickly.

  “Don’t remind me. I drank so much champagne that night that France granted me honorary citizenship,” she jokes.

  I laugh out right, and Sarah’s eyes sparkle back to me.

  “Ricky has a point. A wedding is a giant party. You know gay people were going to jump on the band wagon as soon as it became legal.” I tell them.

  Sarah ticks her head to and fro, and then her mouth tips into a frown. “I guess, but I’m not sure that’s a good thing either. Gay people are falling into the hetero trap.”