Peggy’s Love: The Victorian Highlanders Book 5

by St. Clair, Ellie

  Rory snorted. “We have no riches. You’re wasting your time, Gowan.”

  The man rose, winking at him. “Ye take that chance, Rory. Have your answer ready for me by the end of the week.”

  With a chuckle, he rose and walked over to join his party, and Rory could only sit for a moment with his head in his hands. He had certainly gotten himself into quite a situation. He looked up when he saw Peggy walk by, her fresh, lemony scent washing over him as her skirts swirled after her, she was moving so quickly.

  How could one man be both lucky as well as rather unfortunate? By not caring in the past, he realized. As he watched Peggy, he knew what he must do. He didn’t like it, but Duncan had told him to care for his daughter, and he knew that he would want him to care for his people as well. He would pay the blasted Gowan, and then he would do all he could to replace the money as quickly as possible. It would be a loan. Another loan, he thought with a groan, but no one would be the wiser. He could do this, he told himself, and ensure that all would be well.

  * * *

  Rory loathed to speak to the man again, but it was not as though he had much choice. The next night after the hunt, he sought out Gowan, beckoning him to join him in the two seats in front of the fire, which were separated from the remaining tables. Gowan smiled smugly as he sat down in the seat, a tankard of ale in hand, as he seemed to know what Rory would be sharing with him.

  “So, you have come to your senses, have you, MacTavish?”

  Rory ground his teeth together to keep from saying anything that would only complicate the situation and likely make him look like even more of a fool.

  “You’ll have yer money,” he grunted, saying nothing further. What business was it of Gowan’s to know where it was coming from?

  “I trust it will be before my departure?” Gowan asked, to which Rory nodded curtly. “Excellent. Well, it seems that pretty little bride of yours is good for more than warming your bed.”

  Rory went completely still, his entire body tensing. Had the room not been full of Gowan’s companions, as well as Peggy herself, he would have beaten the man’s nose bloody. As it was, however, he certainly didn’t need any more attention called to the two of them.

  “After I pay you, Gowan, you will be out of our lives for good, do you understand me?” Rory said, leaning forward in his chair, tense as he watched the man’s face. “Never again will you come here to Darfield. Never again will you seek us out, or speak to my wife or touch her. You will be gone from us. Do you hear me?”

  Gowan chuckled. “Ah, MacTavish, what you fail to see is that you have brought this entirely upon yourself. I have no wish to be any further acquainted with you, as long as ye keep yourself far from my establishment. Understand?”

  Rory nodded curtly as Gowan rose, bristling when he placed a hand on his shoulder as though they were friends. The worst part of it all was Gowan was right. Rory’s past continued to come back and haunt him, and he wanted nothing more than to be done with it all. Rory took a deep breath, leaning back in his chair as he stared up at the high ceiling of Darfield’s hall. He only had to fix this one situation — then all would be well.

  * * *

  “What’s the matter?” Peggy asked that night as she brushed her hair out before bed. She was sitting on the stool before the vanity Rory had moved into the room for her, and she swiveled around to look at him.

  “Nothing,” he said, turning from her as he pulled off his shirt. Peggy was momentarily distracted as she watched the strong muscles of his back flex as the shirt came over his head and arms, but then she frowned as she focused once more on his words — or lack thereof.

  “Clearly something is amiss,” she said, placing her hairbrush back down on the surface of the vanity in front of her, not wanting to push him, but wishing he would allow her in closer. “It could help to talk about it.”

  She saw him still for a moment, his shoulders tense. But then they dropped and he turned to look at her with a smile on his face. He crossed over to where she sat, bringing his hands up to cup her face.

  “’Tis nothing, Peg. I’m simply tired, is all. It was a long hunt today, and I am growing weary of some of these men.”

  “One in particular?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

  His smile became strained. “I have no use for Gowan, ’tis true, and I wish he had never come to Darfield, but rest assured he will no longer be a part of our lives.”

  “What does that mean?” she asked, unsure about his tone.

  “It means that I have everything in hand,” he said, leaning down to kiss her, though she wasn’t that easily distracted, as much as his kisses always seemed to take her breath away.

  “I’m your wife now, Rory, and, supposedly, your partner,” she said when he leaned back slightly. “You can share with me what is bothering you. Perhaps I can help.”

  “I said it’s all taken care of, Peg,” he said, his gaze darkening ever so slightly, but enough that Peggy drew back slightly from him, frustrated with his inability to share his concerns. “Your presence here has helped far more than you know. Now, will ye come to bed?”

  Peggy allowed him to pull her up to stand, and despite her annoyance, she went willingly to the bed. She wanted to deny him, to force him to open up his thoughts toward her before they shared their bodies with one another once more, but the truth was, she yearned for his touch and couldn’t resist when he drew her near. In time, she told herself, he would come around and share his thoughts and feelings. She just had to be patient. She lifted her hands to rest them on the stubble coating his cheeks, staring deep into his eyes.

  “Rory MacTavish,” she said, “You are stubborn and you drive me crazy most days, but I need you to know that despite all of that, I love you, for all that you are.”

  He blinked rapidly, nodding at her before he took her lips in his. Her heart ached as she longed for her words to be returned, but she knew that if she forced them, they would be meaningless. All she could do was continue to open her heart to him, to let him know how much she loved him. She knew Rory hadn’t received much love in his life, aside from that of Kyla, and perhaps all he needed was to be told often enough to understand the truth of it.

  When he made love to her that night, it was more insistent, more urgent, more needy, and she gave to him all that he seemed to require. One day, she told herself, the words would come.

  She just hoped it would be soon.

  Chapter 19

  “Ah, the lovely lady of the manor. I am so pleased to find you alone.”

  Peggy lifted her head when she heard the smooth voice of Matthew Gowan, inwardly cringing. She had no desire to be alone with him. She had seen Rory’s anger toward him the other day as they sat conversing alone. She was well aware something was amiss between the two of them, although Rory did not seem inclined to share any of it with her.

  “I am not entirely alone,” she said motioning behind her. “Elspeth and Aggie are in the kitchens.”

  “True, but we can have a conversation here at the table without worry of interruption, I think,” he said with a smile that was too charming for Peggy’s liking. “What’s this? Our menu for this evening?”

  “’Tis,” Peggy said curtly. “As it’s your last night, we typically try to do something a bit extra special.”

  “I look forward to it,” Gowan said, the smile seemingly pasted on his face.

  “Can I help you with something, Mr. Gowan?” she asked, wishing he would get on with it. “And why are ye not out with the hunters today?”

  “I am, sadly, not very interested in hunting,” he said with a wave of his hand, and Peggy raised an eyebrow.

  “Well then, it seems you have come to the wrong destination,” she returned.

  He laughed at that, pointing a finger at her. “Well put, lass, well put.”

  “Is there anything I can do for you, Mr. Gowan?” she repeated. “I really must ensure all is prepared for tonight.”

  “Ah, I will leave you to it, then,” h
e said, looking as though he were about to rise from his seat. “Oh, just one more thing — I wanted to tell ye how much I admire you.”

  “Admire me?” she asked, confused.

  “Aye,” he said. “For your willingness to look beyond your husband’s past, to be so generous, allowing him to cover his debts with your dowry. It’s admirable. Most women would want their own money to remain, to look after the future family that may come, but you, nay, you are a rare breed, lass, who puts her husband before herself.”

  Peggy sat frozen, though she managed to retain a straight face — at least, she hoped she did. She refused to let this man capture any emotion from her.

  “Aye,” she finally said. “Thank you, Mr. Gowan.”

  Then, effectively dismissing him, she bent her head back toward her menu.

  * * *

  Rory had never been so relieved to see the retreating backs of a hunting party — one man in particular. He had paid Gowan the remainder of his debts, which, of course, had been grossly inflated. The man had promised to never bother them again, although whether or not he could trust the word of such a scoundrel, Rory had no idea.

  After they had nearly finished cleaning the hall, he grabbed Peggy’s hand.

  “Come, Peg,” he said, running a hand through his hair, “let’s take a moment alone.”

  “But the girls need help—”

  “They’ll be fine for a few moments. Come, sit.”

  He led her out of the great hall, up the stairs, and into the sitting room, sinking gratefully onto the Chesterfield, pulling Peggy onto his lap.

  “Ah, Peg, I’m glad that is over. Though it will be more than a week before our next group. I’m not sure whether to be relieved or worried.”

  When she simply nodded, he caught her chin between his thumb and index finger, turning her face toward him. “What’s the matter?” he asked, looking up into her troubled eyes.

  “Nothing,” she said, looking away from him.

  “I seem to recall a lass telling me that we should share our thoughts with one another.”

  “And now you remember those words, when you would like to know what is on my mind?” she asked, her eyes flashing as she looked at him. “Where was that consideration when I was the one asking you?”

  “Fine,” he sighed. “You have a point. Ask me what you’d like, and then tell me what is bothering you.”

  “Very well,” she said, picking herself up off his lap and taking the seat across from him instead. “Did you use my dowry to pay off your debts to Matthew Gowan?”

  Rory stilled, shocked speechless as he looked at her, his mouth agape.

  “Peg…”

  “Did you?”

  He looked down, unable to meet her gaze — which was becoming more of a habit as of late. It seemed the more he tried to right his past wrongs, the further in trouble he found himself.

  Finally, he steeled his resolve and looked up at her vivid blue eyes.

  “Aye,” he muttered, and she nodded, though he didn’t miss the way her jaw was set tightly, nor the disappointment that settled into her features.

  “Well, I suppose it is yours to do with as ye like,” she said, and he reached a hand out to her, though she was too far away now for him to touch.

  “’Tis not like that, Peggy,” he said, imploring her to understand his words. “I have a plan and I’m going to pay the dowry back as soon as I’m able.”

  She ignored him. Instead, she asked without displaying any emotion, “How badly did you need it?”

  “Pardon me?”

  “How badly in debt were you? What were they going to do if you did not pay what you owed?”

  He bent his head and ran his hands through his hair, which he realized was becoming slightly too wild and unkempt — just like his life.

  “Ach, Peg,” he said, his voice near a growl, “I canna lie to you. It was fairly bad. It happened some time ago — Gowan bested me in a game of cards, and my pride couldn’t take it. He allowed me to continue to play on credit, as he owned the place, and I was so sure I could win back the money. But, of course, I failed. I saved enough to pay him back most of it, but it took too long, and the interest just kept adding up. I meant to refuse him, to not pay him any further. But then he came here. He threatened you. He threatened the clan. I didn’t know what else to do. I’ll save up to pay back yer dowry, Peg, I promise.”

  As he spoke, she held his gaze with her bold stare, and when he finally finished, imploring her to understand, she was silent for a moment. He could practically hear the inner workings of her mind.

  “Rory,” she began tentatively, biting her lip. “When you asked me to marry you, did ye know my father would provide you with this dowry?”

  Horror began to settle in the pit of his stomach as he realized what she was suggesting, what she was asking. “Peg, our marriage had nothing to do with your dowry, nothing at all.”

  “But did you know?”

  “Not until after I had already asked you.”

  “And then you convinced me to go through with it.”

  “Peg, ’twas not like that. I told yer father I didn’t want the dowry, but he told me to keep it, to use it to provide for you, to protect you. I realize I’m doing a terrible job of it so far, to be sure, but when Gowan began to threaten you, I didn’t know what else to do.”

  She stood then, beginning to pace the room, her hands clasped behind her back. She reminded him of a warrior queen, with her tall, strong build, her dark hair flowing down her back behind her, features set in stoically as she strode back and forth.

  “I appreciate you looking out for me, Rory, truly I do,” she said when she finally stopped and stared at him, but then held out her hands in exasperation. “But did you never think to talk to me about it?”

  “Of what? Gowan’s threats?”

  “Aye, ye dim-wit!” she said, rolling her eyes. “We’re married now, Rory, whether or not ye like the fact. If you have a problem, you can tell me about it, and we can determine how best to approach it together.”

  “But Peg, I’m your husband,” he said, rising himself, feeling his masculinity called into question. “It’s my job to protect you, to look out for you and make sure you come to no harm.”

  “Is that what this is all about?” she asked, sweeping her hand before her. “Because clearly you didna’t marry me because ye loved me.”

  “Now, Peg, let’s not—”

  “You say you didn’t marry me for my dowry. I know you didn’t marry me for love. I’m beginning to wonder why you did at all, Rory.”

  “Because … because I couldn’t see why I shouldn’t.”

  He was well aware of how pitiful his answer was, and she was clearly extremely unimpressed by it as she stared at him, shaking her head.

  “I’d best go check on the girls,” she said, and he reached out a hand to her but knew not what to say. In moments she was gone and down the hallway, leaving behind her only the scent of lemons and disappointment.

  * * *

  Peggy could sense Elspeth and Aggie watching her with both interest as well as a slight bit of fear. She knew she was being erratic in her movements, was likely disturbing the flow of work more than helping with anything. But she could hardly sit around and talk to Rory any longer.

  Despite his protestations, she couldn’t help but wonder — had he married her for her dowry? It certainly would have made life easier for him, to have an influx of cash at just the time he required it. Did he orchestrate everything so that he would receive the money?

  If she looked past her anger and thought about it rationally, she realized it was unlikely. Their passionate embrace had been on impulse, and no one was aware that Duncan was arriving when he did. It had simply all worked out well for Rory, that was all.

  No, in actuality she was angry, ironically, because Rory had told the truth. He married her because he didn’t see any other option, and had thought to himself, “Why not?” She longed for him to tell her that he had married
her because he had feelings for her, but she could not force him to tell her such a lie.

  And she wondered, deep down in her soul, if he had changed. He continued to protest that he had, and it was true that he was spending more time than ever at home, in the Highlands. But if presented with the opportunity — would he return to it all? To the women, to the gambling, to the life that he had so enjoyed not too long ago? She wasn’t sure how she could live with it if he did. Especially the women. For she was not one to share, particularly when it came to her husband.

  She threw the rag down on the table, reaching one arm at a time behind her to rub her tense shoulders. Damn Rory MacTavish and damn her feelings toward him. This had all turned into a bloody mess.

  Chapter 20

  Rory stormed out of the keep, going down to the stables. He saddled his horse, desperate to get out and rid himself of the frustration that had been building inside since Gowan’s arrival. He pushed his horse hard and fast until both of them had worked themselves up to a sweat. Finally, he slowed as he came to the loch, looking out over the deep waters that spoke of home to him more than nearly anything else — until Peggy, that was.

  For now, when he thought of Darfield, though it had been a few short weeks since she had first arrived, he could hardly think of the place without her. Despite the fact that he had been nothing but honest with her, he could see the hurt in her eyes, could feel her dissatisfaction with their marriage, as short as it had been. He had no wish to continue living like that, on edge, unsure of what to expect, not knowing what she might think of him.