But nothing helped.
She’d been pretty sad and pathetic herself, laying on the sofa snuggling with Katie, living in one of the shirts Jace and left behind, watching every Christmas movie again, staring at the lights on the tree. And crying, good Lord, had there been a lot of crying. She wasn’t sure how she hadn’t dehydrated herself at this point.
She’d taken down all of the decorations the night before, drinking an entire bottle of wine while a Star Wars marathon played in the background. Star Wars was pretty neutral territory. It wasn’t associated with Christmas, and it wasn’t associated with Jace. Not that it mattered as he was all she could think about.
But she’d made the right choice. Maybe if she told herself that enough times she’d start believing it.
She kept going over it, going over letting him go, going over what had been said, what he had said.
You know, I told you before, I can’t say no to you. Can’t say no to anything that involves your happiness.
Which was why he’d left, why he’d walked out the door, because that was what she’d said she’d wanted.
I didn’t realize it until this week, didn’t realize that for the last six years there has been something inside of me that’s just wanted to see you happy.
Happy. That wasn’t a word that in any way described how she felt. It hadn’t been an emotion she’d been anywhere close to over the last few days.
I thought I could be a part of that. Thought I could be a part of your life as more than a bystander. Thought we could be together.
Except there was no together. Not for them. It wasn’t a reality. Once Jace was back in Jacksonville, back on the ice, back to his life, he’d get over things. Get over what had happened at the cabin. Get over her.
It was the outcome she’d always expected. But still, thinking about it hurt like hell. So much so that when she did think about it she couldn’t stop the tightening in her throat, or the burn at the corner of her eyes, or the chain reaction of her emotions that left her a sobbing mess. It was like she was forever living in that hour after Christmas day, when she’d left a sleeping Jace in bed and cried her heart out on the bathroom floor.
She’d never been more alone in her life, which was something she desperately needed to change and was why she’d headed to Atlanta and Felicity. She didn’t care about encountering anyone from the media. It had been almost two weeks since that damn photo was taken and picturegate had commenced, so maybe they no longer cared about her and Troy.
To be honest, it didn’t really matter to her anymore. She didn’t care about any of that other bullshit, not after what had happened with Jace. He was her real heartbreak. But this damage was nothing to what could’ve happened, to what would’ve happened if she’d let herself think there was a possibility of a future with him.
There was no future for them. There never had been. It might take a little time—okay, fine, a lot of time—but sooner or later, she’d be able to breathe without feeling that constant ache in her chest. And until then, she just needed to hold it together.
Yeah, she failed on that front almost the second she and Katie walked into Felicity’s house.
As was to be expected, Katie immediately went off to play with Felicity’s Great Dane Moses, and Adele was pulled into one of Felicity’s all-consuming embraces. It was full of love, just like Felicity was. And just that quickly, Adele broke down into full-blown sobs. Ones that moved through her entire body, making her shake uncontrollably.
So much for holding things together.
“Oh my gosh. Adele, honey, what’s wrong? What happened?”
But she just started crying harder, unable to say a single damn word.
“Come on.” Felicity grabbed Adele’s hand and pulled her through the house and into the living room. They sat down on the sofa, and Felicity pulled Adele into her arms again, holding her tight as Adele cried and cried and cried on her shoulder. Letting it all out until she couldn’t cry anymore.
Felicity held her through it all, moving her hands up and down and rubbing Adele’s back. “I’ve got you. I’m here.”
It took a while, but when Adele was finally able to compose herself, she pulled back, a wet, snotty, disgusting mess. Felicity leaned over, grabbing a box of tissues on the side table and handing them to Adele.
Pulling out a tissue, Adele blew her nose before getting another one and dabbing at her eyes. “Thank you.”
Felicity reached out, covering one of Adele’s hands with her own “Honey, what was that about? What happened? Not Troy?”
“No.” Adele shook her head, biting her bottom lip before letting it go. “No, not Troy.”
“Oh, thank God. Because if you were crying over him I’d have to slap you.”
A laugh bubbled up through her chest, one that grew into more laughter. And then she was laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe.
Felicity smiled as she reached up, holding Adele’s face in her hands. “Well, this is better than the crying. You want to talk?”
“Yes.”
“You want a drink?”
“God, yes.”
“Come on.” Felicity stood up, holding her hand out for Adele. “I’ve got a really nice bottle of Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand in the wine fridge.”
Adele grabbed Felicity’s hand and was led through the house and to the kitchen. With whatever chaos and turmoil was raging around inside of her, she felt more than just a little bit better. Letting out some of the pain had helped, but it was also being around her best friend.
It had been six years since Adele had met Felicity during the first season of Ponce. They’d hit it off from the get-go, and had only gotten closer over the years. Without a doubt she was Adele’s best friend, which was funny as they were almost complete opposites.
Adele was tall, with tanned skin and dark hair, had tattoos and piercings, and had a tendency to be a bit outspoken. Whereas Felicity barely cleared five-foot-four, had golden blonde hair that she hadn’t dyed once in her life, only had her ears pierced, and was very much on the quieter side. That being said, she was more than capable of speaking up when the situation warranted. She might be one of the sweetest people Adele had ever met, but she still had a backbone.
“Sit down,” Felicity said, pointing to the white leather, high-backed barstool at the counter. “So let’s recap first. You left me before Christmas pissed off and wanting to get away from everyone and everything. You go and stay at your family’s cabin and then you come back to me a crying mess. What happened between point A and point B?”
“I wasn’t alone up there.”
Felicity pulled a bottle of wine from the fridge and turned around. “Who was there?”
Adele took a deep breath and let it out, something that was slightly hindered by her now stuffy nose. “Jace was there.”
Felicity set the bottle on the counter, her eyes now huge. “What?”
“He went up there to get away during Christmas, too. And we got snowed in together.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? We’ve talked multiple times since you went up there.”
“Because.” Adele looked down at the counter, tracing a pattern in the white and gray speckled marble. “I knew you’d warn me against making bad choices.”
“And did you make bad choices?”
Adele looked up, her golden brown eyes meeting Felicity’s navy blue ones. “I don’t regret anything I did with him.”
“I’m guessing you guys had sex.”
Adele nodded. “A lot of sex.”
“All right, let me open this.” Felicity pulled out the drawer next to her and grabbed a corkscrew. “We’re going to need alcohol for this conversation.”
“A lot of alcohol,” Adele agreed.
Jace had been dating since he was thirteen years old, and never had he gone to a girl’s house to pick her up with a looming father holding a shotgun and waiting for permission. But as he went to Logan’s house that evening he was pretty sure he was about to face a freakin
g firing squad.
The feeling of imminent doom might also be because it wasn’t just Logan he was about to face. Before the locker room brawl had happened, Jace had been invited to spend New Year’s Eve with the entire James clan…well, entire minus Adele.
It was not only Logan and his wife and son, but Adele’s other brother Liam along with his wife and their daughter, and their parents. One big happy family.
Or it would’ve been.
They might tell Jace to leave, tell him he wasn’t welcome, that there was absolutely nothing to be said. Or they might give Jace a chance to explain. All he knew was he had to try to fix things. He had to try to do something. To do anything.
He wasn’t giving up. He couldn’t. He knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt. He was going to fight for what he wanted. He was going to fight for Adele. This was just the first step.
Jace got a small reprieve from his firing squad because of who was on the other side of the door when it opened. It wasn’t the angry, looming form of Logan. Instead, it was a petite, beautiful redhead, otherwise known as Abby James, Logan’s wife.
“You two are idiots. You know that?” She shook her head as she reached up, cupping Jace’s jaw and lightly skimming her thumb across the bruise that was already forming.
“He told you what happened?
“Yes. And as previously stated, you two are idiots.”
“You think he’ll talk to me?”
Abby dropped her hand before she moved to the side, making room for him to step into the house. “If he doesn’t, he’s sleeping on the sofa.”
“Don’t you guys have like four guest bedrooms?” He moved past her so she could shut the door behind him.
“Yeah, we do. But he doesn’t get one if he’s a stubborn ass.”
Jace turned to look at her at the same moment that she turned to look at him. “Why are you giving me a shot?”
“Because, there are two sides to this story with you and Adele, and I haven’t heard either of them yet and neither has Logan. And Jace,” she reached out and grabbed his forearm, “no one knows about this whole thing besides me, so there is no need to look like you’re about to meet your maker. Come on,” she gave him a half smile as she nodded her head behind him and down the hallway.
They moved further into the house, the scent of marinara and Italian seasoning getting stronger as they went.
“Look who’s here,” Abby announced as they cleared the hallway and stepped into the dining room that opened up to the kitchen.
All eyes turned to him as they walked in, an excited reaction from everyone there. Even Liam and Harper’s little French Bulldog, Luna, was dancing around, wanting the attention from the new human in the room.
Edie—the matriarch of the James family—was in the kitchen with Liam and Harper, all of them preparing the pizzas that were scattered out on the counters. Meanwhile Dustin—the patriarch—was sitting at one of the barstools at the counter with the almost two-year-old Sofia sitting in his lap. She was watching all the commotion going on around her with her big violet eyes.
“Jace!” Edie was the first to come around the kitchen island, arms outstretched. “I’m so glad you’re here!” She wrapped him up in one of those mom hugs that really had no comparison.
He leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek and when he pulled back she got a good look at him. Some of that happiness in her expression dimmed.
“What happened to your face? A three-month lockout and you boys forget how to not hurt your own teammates? Logan looks like he got into a fight too.”
“You know how it is, sometimes things just get a little out of hand during practice. It’s fine, don’t worry about me.”
“Hmmmm.” Her eyes narrowed, the skepticism on her face clear. “Well, I’m glad to see you. Even if you’re a little banged up. We missed you at Christmas. But I was happy you and Adele had each other for company. You have a good time with her?”
Jace looked into Edie’s eyes, the same golden brown eyes as her daughter’s. He couldn’t lie about it, not even a little. So he told the God’s honest truth, trying to express in every single one of his words just how much he missed Adele. “It was one of the best Christmases I ever had. I didn’t want it to end.”
Surprise flashed in her eyes before it turned into something that looked an awful lot like understanding. Like everything had just clicked into place in her head.
“You know, when I talked to her, she said the same thing.” She gently patted the uninjured side of his face, not breaking her gaze. “I think she misses you too, Jace,” she whispered for only him to hear before she let go and took a step back.
It was the first time in five days that he felt even an ounce of hope.
For the next few minutes, he was passed around from person to person, giving hugs and kisses, being welcomed into the fold just like he usually was…that was until Logan came into the room.
He pulled up short when he saw Jace, a muscle ticking in his jaw. The new tension in the room was very evident, flickering around the space and missed by absolutely no one. Jace felt everyone’s eyes bouncing back and forth between him and Logan. Meanwhile, Logan was taking deep, steady breaths through his nose, like he was counting.
One…
Two…
Three…
And then he turned to Abby, handing her the baby monitor in his hands. “Matthew went down pretty good. I think he’s out, but can you be on baby duty for a bit?”
“Yeah,” she took the monitor from him. “You guys want to go outside and have a beer while we finish up with dinner?”
It was then that the fear of God ran through Jace. Talking to Logan and Liam he was prepared for, but he wasn’t ready to have this particular conversation with Adele’s dad.
Not. At. All.
Dustin James might be a big ol’ Irish teddy bear …but when it came to his baby girl, all bets were off. And really, there was something about losing the respect from this man that scared him more than anything else.
Maybe because Dustin was the father Jace never had, just like Edie was the mother he’d been missing for most of his life.
This was his family and he had to fix things. Absolutely had to. Otherwise, he could lose it all. Just the thought of it tore him apart. He’d never realized how much he had until it was all about to slip through his fingers.
And there was one person he couldn’t lose above all of them.
Adele.
He knew she was it for him. She was what he’d always been waiting for. He just hadn’t figured it out until he’d lost her. How ridiculous was that?
“What do you want to drink, Jace?” Liam asked as he opened the refrigerator.
“I’m fine with whatever.”
“Dad? Logan?” Liam’s focus moved from Dustin to his brother.
“Whatever you’re drinking,” Logan answered.
“You guys go on,” Dustin said adjusting Sofia on his hip. “I’m going to put this little one to bed.”
At his words Sofia wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against his chest, sleepily mumbling, “Gampa.”
“I think she’s staked her claim,” Liam nodded as he grabbed three bottles of the same beer from the fridge.
“I don’t mind.” Dustin smiled as he kissed the top of her head.
“Can you grab my jacket?” Liam asked Logan as he headed for the door with the bottles in his hands.
The temperature had dropped to the low forties that night, so it was good and truly chilly. Jace hadn’t taken off his jacket when he’d walked in—partially because he wasn’t sure if Logan was going to kick him out or not—so there was no need for him to cover up.
Logan’s back porch looked out onto the Intracoastal Waterway. The sun had set about an hour ago, so all there was to see were the lights from the surrounding houses, a lot of them still sporting Christmas decorations.
Just the sight of it made Jace ache for Adele. But Christmas decorations or not, he’d always ache for her
. That much was beyond evident to him.
Keys jangled behind Jace and he turned around to see Liam using a bottle opener on his keychain to pop the top off one of the bottles.
“Thanks,” Jace nodded as Liam handed him the beer.
Liam grabbed another bottle from where he’d set it on the wooden railing, popped the top, and passed it to Logan before he opened one for himself. “Happy New Year.” He held his bottle in the air.
“Happy New Year,” Jace and Logan chorused before they all clinked the necks of their beers together and tossed their heads back to take a sip.
Liam set his bottle down on the wooden railing, grabbing the jacket Logan had brought out for him. “So, you guys going to start this whole conversation with why you’ve made minced meat out of the other’s face?” He asked as he slid his arms into the sleeves and pulled his jacket up and onto his shoulders.
Logan said nothing, just gave Jace a look that clearly said you talk.
Jace cleared his throat, setting his beer bottle down next to Liam’s, keeping his hands free just in case Liam had the same reaction as Logan had. “Something happened with Adele while we were snowed in at the cabin.”
Liam’s eyebrows rose high, and he made a move that had Jace taking a step back. But instead of punching Jace, he was just reaching for his beer bottle. “You think I was going to hit you?” he asked as his mouth split into a grin.
Jace lifted his hand, indicating his face.
Liam grinned wider as he lifted his bottle to his mouth. “Fair point, but I’m not as much of a hot head as my brother.”
Logan said nothing, just glared at Liam.
“Anyway,” Liam continued, “without getting into too much detail, what happened with you and Adele?”
“I feel like I need to start with the fact that I’ve known the boundaries from the beginning of our friendship,” he moved his focus to Logan. “Adele was off limits, and I never had any intentions of messing with her. Ever. You’re my best friend and she’s your little sister. I wasn’t going to do anything that would affect our friendship. And then it became more than just our friendship. I got close with you too, Liam,” Jace looked to the other man. “And your parents. And Adele was always there, not in the background, but just as much a part of the picture as anyone else. The thing is, I didn’t realize how important she was in that picture until now.”
An Unexpected Christmas Page 19
