by Kealohilani
“Sooo. How are you doing?”
“I’m fine…”
Lani shrugged as she trailed off. It was true enough. She had adopted the definition of the word “fine” from the movie The Italian Job a long time ago— as her own private way to answer honestly and yet not get into details.
F.I.N.E. Freaked out. Insecure. Neurotic. And emotional. It worked especially well right now because she didn’t want to admit— even to herself— how much of a complicated wreck she felt like she was at the moment.
“Sorry, dumb question.”
“No, no. It’s a perfectly valid question. I mean, I just lost my home and everything I ever knew or cared about. Then I lost the love of my life— who was the only reason that I had been able to forget about being away from my family, even for a moment.
“And, to top it all off, I just literally lost a year of my life. Not bad for about two months. Or two-and-a-half? Three? However-the-heck long we’ve been here.”
Lani tilted her head in thought. She hadn’t realized until now that she had somewhat lost track of how long they had actually been away from Earth.
Even with her most recent vision of Tyler, she hadn’t been sure exactly when it was. She noticed a calendar open to September. But nothing that indicated if it were the beginning, middle, or end.
She wondered how many weeks had passed— how many days had drifted by. Lani shook her head gently.
“I’m sorry, Kendra. I sound like everything is about me. You all lost everything too. How are you doing?”
“I miss my family too and I’ve had a rough time with it from time to time— thank you for asking. Really. But you shouldn’t be worrying about us right now.”
“No, I really should be worrying about all of you right now. I’ve been a bit of an absentee friend ever since the dragon. That was an insensitive and selfish move and I’m truly sorry.”
“You always do that.”
“Do what? Act like an insensitive absentee friend? I really hope not!”
“No! Of course not! What I meant was— you have really been through the wringer and you’re thinking you have no right to grumble about it! You don’t even think you have the right to a few bad days!
“At least the rest of us are having fun between the dramas. You never seem to catch a break. So stop worrying about other people for five minutes and take care of yourself for once.”
“That’s really sweet of you,” Lani replied with a smile. “I’m still going to worry about you guys— but thank you for validating my feelings.”
“And you know what else?”
“What?”
“I don’t know what Jharate’s problem is, but if he’s going to be like that, he doesn’t deserve you! I wanna smack that big giraffe down right now!”
“Please, don’t call him names— but thank you for the support, Chicky,” Lani said, forcing a bigger smile. She sighed inadvertently before continuing. “I still miss him, though. And to make matters worse, he keeps coming close to me and then walking away in the middle of a sentence. So it seems like maybe he wants me back— but then he leaves. I don’t know. He’s driving me bats.”
“Don’t waste your time trying to figure it out. That boy is confusing at best! Besides, I’m sure you’ll find someone better.”
“Like that’s possible.”
Lani didn’t believe there was anyone better than Jharate. Nor did she want someone else, for that matter. She looked away from Kendra and closed her eyes briefly to try to keep it together.
“No, for realz! And the sooner you start to get over Giraffe Boy, the sooner you might find Mr. Right.”
“Kendra— I asked you not to call him that. I let it slide that last time because you’re being such a sweetheart and I thought if I brushed it off, you might stop. But I’m serious— I don’t want anyone saying anything mean about him.”
“But—”
“I really do appreciate you a ton for trying to cheer me up. So please don’t take anything I just said the wrong way. But I love him. I can’t just get over him like that. I have to at least try to make this work. He has my whole heart.”
“He doesn’t deserve y—”
“Thank you for being such a good friend, seriously. Having my friends support me like this makes the nightmare disappear from time to time. You’ve always been like a sister to me.”
Lani smiled and reached over to squeeze Kendra’s hand gratefully. Kendra sighed in defeat and smiled in return.
“Same here, Lani. I’ll try to respect your wish on that whole not-calling-him-names thing. But you’re going to have to forgive me when I mess up. Yes I said when— and I’ll add frequently, ha ha! You know I only want the best for you, Chicky.”
“I know,” Lani replied with another grateful smile.
“But remember, this isn’t one of your favorite Jane Austen novels. In real life, the guys like Mr. Darcy and Captain Wentworth, usually stay jerks forever, or never forgive you, or some nasty combination of the two. Don’t dream your whole life away on the chance that he’ll come back to you. If someone else comes along, give yourself permission to go.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
Lani squeezed Kendra’s hand one more time as Kendra got up and walked toward one of the campfires. She knew Kendra had her best interest at heart and also that it was very good advice— advice Lani would have given to Kendra if the situation were reversed— advice Lani would have given to herself.
She would normally dump a guy for much less than the coldness Jharate was showing her. Her recent experience with Josiah had only reinforced her conviction that hanging on— past a certain point— was a bad idea. But for some reason, she didn’t want to get over Jharate.
Lani looked where Jharate was. She felt a strange freezing sensation within her as she saw that he was staring at her— again.
What the blazes is he thinking?! Does he want me back? Is he trying to intimidate me? Seriously— what?!
It felt as if he were seeing straight through her and into her very soul. But if that were true, he should know how much she loved him! He blinked and averted his gaze, almost the very moment she caught him looking.
Get a hold of yourself, Lani, she thought as she shook her head to try to break the trance. She needed to stop trying to figure him out or she was going to go crazy.
It was just too confusing. It wasn’t like she had ever been that good at reading guys in the first place— but Jharate took her uncertainty to a record high.
Lani resolved not to think of him for now and to get some sleep as soon as she could. It didn’t work. Even after she ate the dinner that Justin and Raoul brought her— or at least what she could manage to force herself to eat— she was up for hours doing nothing but thinking about Jharate.
Drakne watched as everyone fell asleep. Everyone except Lani. He had set up his invisible soundproof shield on the highest rock tier near the pool and conjured his luxurious mattress, pillows, and blankets inside it once again. However, they were merely for comfort’s sake.
He had no intention of sleeping tonight. Instead he stared at Lani and continued to wonder who she was— as he planned her imminent destruction— reveling in the fact that Jharate would be the key to her undoing. Soon.
Lani felt a chill run down her spine. She looked at the highest rock tier across the way. There was nothing there.
“Raoul,” she whispered.
Raoul started awake and was at her side in an instant.
“Are you okay, Lani?” he fretted.
“Shhh,” she warned, unsure as to why she was trying to keep so quiet. “Please go and check up there.” She pointed to the spot. “But be careful! Take a weapon with you.”
Raoul didn’t ask why. He grabbed his crossbow and walked carefully along the path to the place where Lani had pointed.
Drakne’s lips twitched with an annoyed smirk. He snapped his fingers to make the mattress, pillows, blankets, and his
shield disappear. He quietly stepped down the natural rock steps, a few feet from where he was. Raoul passed within inches. Drakne smiled.
Raoul searched, carefully, on the top rock tier. There was nothing there. But this was the second time Lani had sensed something and there had been nothing to show for it. That had to mean something.
Drakne muttered a few words to himself and a small creature formed on the ground in front of him— out of the line of sight of either Lani or Raoul.
Go, he thought, and the creature obeyed— hopping up the stones until it reached Drakne’s ledge.
Raoul jumped as he saw a shadow out of the corner of his eye and raised his crossbow— ready to attack. Then he saw it.
“Meow!” whined an impossibly-fluffy little black cat with big blue eyes that almost glowed in the moonlight as it approached him, unafraid.
Raoul laughed at himself and lowered his crossbow and put it over his shoulder. The kitten appeared to be about six months old. He gently scruffed it, while tucking its tail under and supporting its weight. Raoul cuddled it close to him so it would feel secure as he made his way back to Lani. As he did so, Drakne set himself back up on his perch in his stylish comfort.
“Good eye, Lani,” Raoul complimented, handing her the apparent cause of her concern.
“Kitty!” Lani’s voice involuntarily increased in pitch as she excitedly took the cat into her arms. “You’re so pretty! Yes you are—yes you are! Such a pretty kitty!”
The soulless kitten creation purred loudly in response.
“How did you get out here, little guy?” Lani asked.
“Good question,” Raoul replied. “We’re out in the middle of nowhere. And it doesn’t seem wild.”
“Yes it is strange,” Lani answered— speaking to the cat— in a tone that one uses with babies and small animals. “But I’m so happy to see you! Yes I am!”
Drakne smiled a little in spite of himself. Her joy was infectious. He almost felt happy for a small moment. But he quickly recalled himself.
Run away, he commanded in his mind. The cat jumped out of Lani’s arms and ran away into the night. Once it was out of sight, it disappeared completely into the thin air out of which it had been created.
“Ohh,” Lani sighed as it left her arms. “I wish he would have stayed a little longer.”
Raoul smiled and gave her a kiss on top of her head that was so light she didn’t even notice it.
“Goodnight, Lani,” he yawned.
“Oh yes— goodnight. Sorry to have woken you for nothing. And thank you for bringing the kitty to me so I could hold it for a few minutes. That was so fun! I really appreciate it.”
“Don’t hesitate to call me— ever,” Raoul added sincerely.
With that, he went back to his bed roll and was asleep within seconds. Lani gazed up at the bewitching stars. They shone so brightly out here— far brighter than on Earth. She marveled at the constellations.
You could actually tell what they were supposed to be. They truly looked like flowers, dragons, faeries, and even people. Lani wondered if the people were from Alamea’s mythology or possibly from their history.
However, she didn’t have time to wonder long about any particular constellation— because they kept changing. They continually morphed into different shapes, as if they grew tired of remaining in one formation for too long.
Lani wondered how this could be. Nothing she knew about the laws of physics could explain this phenomenon.
She continued watching the stars until she finally drifted off to sleep. It didn’t feel like sleep to her though.
Lani found herself in the room Jharate had shown her in his memory. His mother was there— alone this time. She sat in her ornate rocking chair, looking out of the window. Moonlight shone down on her lovely face and danced in her flowing chestnut hair.
Lani walked over to her and sat in the window seat across from Karsenia.
“I have been waiting for you.”
“Me?”
Lani looked around to see if she could mean somebody else within the vision.
“Yes. I have been attempting to contact you for a long while. It has been very difficult because of the amount of pain my son has been inflicting upon you. It has interfered with your emotional state a great deal.”
“I don’t entirely blame him.”
“That is one of the reasons that you are so perfect for him. Jharate deserves a woman who will know him well enough to think the best of him— even when all signs indicate that she should not. And because you are such a woman, you deserve a man who will do the same for you.”
“I’m afraid that he’ll never forgive me.”
“Do not give up on my son just yet. He is a very good man.”
“I know he is. He is the most extraordinary man I have ever known. I love his heart and his mind and his spirit. There is something about him that I feel can never be replaced. He is truly unique. But that can’t be the only reason you’ve been trying to contact me, can it?”
“No,” Karsenia answered with a smile. “However, it is closely related. I have seen how much the two of you love each other. Your love is so strong and it is so important.”
“Why would our love be so important? Am I a Half-Heart?”
“I cannot tell you that at this time— and if I could, it would be counterproductive.”
“Would you mind if I ask why?”
“No,” Karsenia smiled, “I do not mind. The reason is that neither you— nor Jharate— must worry about whether or not you are both Half-Hearts, or the magic would not work.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Almost no one does. You must love each other so deeply, that it would not matter to either of you if your marriage fulfilled the prophecy or not. If you married for that reason alone— even if you both were Half-Hearts— your union would be unable to create the magic needed to tip the balance of power to the side of good.”
“Have two Half-Hearts married before and not been fully in love?!”
“Yes.”
“Oh my goodness! That is so tragic!”
“It is. Nevertheless, true love is always important. Even if that love is between a Half-Heart and a person who is not a Half-Heart.”
“All I know is that I want to spend the rest of my life with Jharate— and every minute of eternity after that.”
Lani sighed deeply.
“It touches my heart to know that and I know Jharate feels the same— somewhere deep inside his heart. I can often feel what he feels. A mother’s love is very strong and there is magic in that, even after death.”
“Thank you for sharing that with me. It gives me hope to know I’m still somewhere in his heart.”
“I will keep helping in whatever ways I can. I have been helping to protect you all— to the limit of my ability to interfere. I have been using every power available to aid you in your struggles, and also to shield you from Vranah.”
“You’re the reason he couldn’t see me?!”
“Yes. However, I will not be able to hold him off forever. I spoke with Jharate concerning you as well. Sadly, his heart is like ice. He is under the influence of powerful dark magic. He is not himself.”
“Did Drakne get to him too? Or was it someone else? Could the dragon have infected him somehow?”
“I cannot tell you that. It would prove fatal for you if I did. Your ignorance of this force is one of the only things preserving your life right now.”
Lani lifted an eyebrow. She parted her lips slightly, with a string of questions waiting to burst out, but instead she held her tongue.
Almost none of what Karsenia had just told her made much sense to Lani. But Karsenia obviously knew what she was talking about and Lani could feel deep inside that she needed to simply trust her. She decided to ask a different question.
“How do I get through to Jharate?”
“With love. It is the only force able to break the powers of evil.”
“I sacrificed a whole yea
r of my life for him and he barely said thank you. What could I possibly do that would show more love than that?”
“Your remarkable act of selflessness did have an effect on him. I hoped it would be enough. Unfortunately, the dark magic that was used to construct the spell that Jharate is now under is formidable.
“I would counsel you to continue to demonstrate your love for Jharate in other ways. Although it is always wise to allow a man to pursue a woman, Jharate has already pursued you and given you his heart.
“Right now he is lost. The spell changes what needs to be done. I fear he will not pursue you again until he is saved. If he were able to break free of this spell on his own, I believe he would have already done so.
“My hope is that your constant love will show him even more than you have hitherto shown with your recent heroic action— that it may begin to form cracks in the bonds of the spell.
“There are few people willing to make the big sacrifices, as you have done with the mountain siren. However, as surprising as it may be, there are even fewer individuals willing to do the small things every day.
“In truth, the smaller actions are far more difficult— for they must be sustained consistently and cannot be accomplished with one great surge of effort.
“Therefore, your continued and unchanging small labors of love will steadily chip away at the ice around his heart.”
“I will do whatever I can to show him I love him.”
“A word of warning before you go.”
“Yes?”
“You will very soon discover whether you are— or are not— a Half-Heart. You cannot tell Jharate one way or the other until the curse has lifted from him. That is imperative.”
“You have my word.”
“Good.”
Lani still felt confused. How was she supposed to find out if she was a Half-Heart or not? And if she was going to find out anyway, why couldn’t Karsenia tell her now? Moreover there was all that stuff about the dark force she needed to remain ignorant of— while simultaneously trying to battle it for Jharate’s heart.
But she could understand why she couldn’t tell Jharate until the curse was lifted. If she was a Half-Heart and he found out whilst still under the spell, he would marry her out of duty and the magic wouldn’t work. And if he knew for certain she was not a Half-Heart, he would write her off entirely.
