“Yes, you’ll be able to walk again.”
“Then I’ll do it. I want to be able to do everything I used to, and live a full and active life.”
An intercom announcement alerted Doctor Morgan he was needed in the pharmacy. Then another announcement - Doctor Henderson was needed on the third floor in radiology. This brought Jackie’s attention to the food service cart’s wheels squeaking as someone pushed it along the hallway. She could hear the woman knock on the doors and then enter with whatever food was on offer. There was laughter at the nurses’ station just a short distance from her door, something she hadn’t anticipated, as her experience in hospitals had always been for dismal reasons.
Doctor McFadden turned to the nurse. “Add some desensitisation exercises.” He smiled at the hopeful faces. “We’ll strengthen the limb so it will be less painful when you wear a prosthesis.”
Jackie lowered her face, then gave a sidelong glance at the doctor. “What about my battalion, are they okay?”
“From the report I read, you were the only one injured. You’re a hero, Major Holmes.” He flipped to the report in her file. “It says here, you pushed one of the privates out of danger and took the full brunt of the explosion.”
Thank God my boys are all right. She stared again at the flat sheet.
Doctor McFadden placed her file back into the slot at the end of the bed. “I’ll send instructions for them to start the physiotherapy first thing in the morning. Now, get some rest.” He leaned forward and patted her on the shoulder. “As I said, rest.” Then he walked out of the room, closely followed by the nurse.
Given their privacy, her father stepped close to the bed and pulled her into a tight hug. Even though she couldn’t see his face, she knew he was holding back sobs.
“Dad, it’s okay.”
“This is too much for my old heart to take, love.”
Jackie pulled back to look into his eyes. “You’re Captain Robert Powell. Known for not showing your feelings. I know you’re proud of me.”
“This is different,” he sniffed. “You’re my daughter. I’ve always made sure to be just dad with you.”
She blinked, then stiffened her posture. I am going to continue to make you proud of me.
Tears streamed down Molly’s cheeks. She removed her glasses, and using a tissue she pulled from the cuff of her sleeve, she wiped the smears from them. She sniffed as her watery eyes met Jackie’s gaze. “We’re very thankful you’re still here, love.”
Then it suddenly dawned on her that her husband had failed to show his support. “Where’s David?” Their marriage had been failing, to the point where it was as broken as shattered glass, and every now and then a few pieces could be put back together, but there were always new cracks appearing, causing more pieces to scatter.
Molly placed her glasses back on her face, and gave a brave smile to her daughter. “He’s at work, love. There was a meeting, he said he couldn’t get out of it. He should be here later, though.”
“It’s nice to know his job takes precedence over his wife!” Jackie huffed.
“Come on, love, you know Dave needs to keep his eye on the ball at work,” Robert added.
She looked down at the bedsheet and pushed it away from her. “I thought he might’ve been present when his wife woke up, and was told she’d lost her frigging leg!” she raved. “I can understand why the twins aren’t here, but he’s my husband!”
“Now come on, love,” her father said sternly. “That’s not fair. He’s tried to be here every day. The twins, too. However, you weren’t awake.”
Why can’t he be on my side for once? Maybe it’s male testosterone. Lads sticking together. “He’s my husband! He should be here for me.”
“What’s going on in here?” asked a sweet, soft voice from the doorway. “Why are you shouting?”
Jackie whipped her head round and stared at the door. She’d recognise her daughter’s voice anywhere, and despite the situation, she couldn’t help but smile brightly as she greeted her. “Hey, Jess! Come and give your mum a nice big hug.” She held her arms out to embrace her.
Jess ran up to the bed and into Jackie’s arms.
“Is there room for another one in your hug?” asked a boy’s voice.
Jackie closed her eyes, and, as she did, a stream of tears trickled down her cheeks as she saw her son standing behind Jess. “Oh, my babies, I’ve missed you so much.” And as he joined the hug, Jackie kissed both of their faces, and held them tight like cherished gems.
“We’ve missed you, too, Mum,” Ben whispered.
She took a deep breath to calm herself, and while she seized the opportunity to take a good look at them, the conflict of showing her bravery and needing to scream tormented her. “Why aren’t you at school?” she asked as she wiped away the tears.
“Grandad called, so we caught the train up to see you,” Jess answered. “The school didn’t mind.”
Jackie looked to her father and smiled. He does care. “I’m glad to see you both, and I can’t believe how much you’ve grown in four months.”
Molly patted Jackie’s shoulder. “We’re going to the canteen to give you a little time on your own with the twins.”
“Okay, Mum.” She looked at her children. “How are your exam revisions going?”
The twins perched on the bed next to her. Both had dark hair and brown eyes, a trait of their mother’s.
Jess rubbed her nose. “The studying’s going well; we’re both working our butts off.”
Jackie turned to Ben. “Has your dad been keeping an eye on you?”
“Yeah, but he’s working hard, too, and Grandma’s been cooking our dinners.”
“Has your dad been up here to see me?”
Ben’s eyes darkened, and his jaw tightened with anger. “No,” he growled. Jess shot her brother a cold stare. “Well, he hasn’t, Jess, and you know it.”
“It’s okay,” Jackie said, taking his hand. “I wouldn’t have made good company anyway.” Ben was like her at that age, a hot head who didn’t suffer fools easily. She wasn’t sure what had caused the rift between her husband and son, but ever since Ben hit puberty it had gotten worse. David talked down to him a lot, which didn’t help, but at the end of the day, a forty-two-year-old man shouldn’t be demoralising a sixteen-year-old.
“That’s not the point, Mum. He should’ve been here today. I’m so mad at him!” Ben fumed. “I’ve told him that, too, and all he did was shrug at me.”
He’s going to get a piece of my mind when I see him. “Why don’t you two go and find your nan and granddad, and get something to eat?”
“Are you sure?” Jess asked.
“Yes.”
They both kissed her, then left the room.
She could hear them talking to someone in the hallway, their voices sounded monotone, as if there was no joy in the conversation, and a couple of minutes later, Dave stepped into her room. His face was flushed a deep red, and his movements came across jerky, as though he had been forced to be there. “Hey, love, it’s good to finally see you.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek.
Jackie’s jaw clenched at the sight of him. So he finally made an effort! Should I be thankful? “So why was work more important than me?”
He began sputtering an apology. “It’s never been more important than you and the children.” He ran a shaky hand through his immaculately combed brown hair. “I had an important meeting to attend. I’m sorry, Jack, I should’ve been here.”
Jackie crossed her arms over her chest. “Yes. It would have been nice to have had your support when I found out half my leg had been blown off.”
Dave took her into his arms and held her tightly. “Love.” The tone in his voice was a mixture of sadness and anger. “It’s nice to have you home, it’s just a shame it had to be like this.” He placed a kiss on her forehead, then pulled away.
•••
Jesus Christ! I’ve been in this hospital for a week, and I’ve only seen Dave twice! S
he knew it was a two-hour drive from Croydon to Birmingham, which was likely the reason for him not visiting. However, the twins had made the trip twice that week with her parents. Whenever he had found the time to visit, he’d spent it clock watching and twiddling his thumbs, as if he didn’t want to be there. And their conversations hadn’t been engaging either, with his answers to her questions just clipped words. The whole affair was strained, and for Jackie, it was exhausting.
The presence of Doctor McFadden snapped her out of her internal rant. “Hello, Major Holmes. I’ve come to see how you’re doing.” He kept steady eye contact with her, and gave a satisfied sigh before he checked her chart. “You’re eating and drinking okay, I see the pain meds are working, there’s no infection, and the swelling’s going down nicely with the compression bandages. You’re doing better than expected.”
A strange sense of euphoria engulfed her.
He flicked over a couple of pages. “And you’re getting around with the aid of the wheelchair; have you had any problems with that?”
She rolled her eyes and pushed her shoulders back to straighten her posture. “No. I’m also handling the exercises really well.”
“Excellent. I’ll call the rehab centre to see when we can transfer you.”
“Really?”
He placed the chart back on the end of the bed and gave her an assured wink. “Yes, I know you’ve seen a counsellor here, so I want you to continue when you go to rehab. Now the hard work starts.” He raised an eyebrow. “Are you ready?”
She took a deep breath. It was as though her tiredness had dissipated and a warmth spread through her body. “Hell, yes!” she answered.
“Good. They’ll set you up with a routine as soon as you get there. Hopefully we can have you out of here within three days.”
He headed over to the door, and before he left the room he looked back at her. “I’ll make some calls and get back to you.”
She was enthused to be able to start putting in more hours to speed up her recovery and get home to her babies. Army born and bred, she wasn’t afraid of a challenge. She settled back against her pillows, eager to be able to tell her kids the good news.
Got to Table of Contents
Chapter Two
Pushing the wheels on her chair, Jackie entered the rehabilitation centre through the automatic doors. The closeness of her parents behind her helped her feel a little less intimidated, something she’d never felt before, but, since her accident, she’d found herself experiencing new waves of unsettling emotions.
She stopped the chair once she was inside and looked at her surroundings—a bland area, with a large glass wall that allowed the daylight to filter through, and beige and white walls, floors and ceiling. Everything had that clinical feeling. Christ, and I’m supposed to get better looking at this crap?
Robert, who was holding her bag for her, stepped to her side and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Did they tell you where to report, love?”
She looked up at him. It was at this point the bitterness hit her. She was a victim; she could see it in his eyes. The sympathy, the hurt, the needing to help her. Her independence had gone, and now her future depended on someone else, a total stranger. I’ve failed. I fucking hate this. “They said reception.” She wheeled her chair toward the desk. Well this is plain stupid. How can anyone see me down here? I should’ve brought a bell. Why not just shoot me now and get it over with?
An auburn haired woman seated behind the circular beechwood desk looked up from her computer. She smiled, which emphasised the freckles around her nose and cheeks. “Good morning, how can I help?”
Jackie glanced at her mother, who appeared to be more nervous than she was. “Mum, stop biting your nails, and for Christ sake, will you relax?” Her muscles felt rigid, which had put her in a foul mood to begin with, so the slightest thing irritated her. And to top it all, since her operation she’d had a constant high-pitched ringing in her ears, and was well aware of it.
Molly stopped biting down on her fingernail and offered an apologetic shrug.
For Jackie, it was bad enough she was suffering with sweaty armpits and back sweat caused by the wheelchair not having any ventilation in the material. Normally when out of uniform, she would wear her hair down, but now she felt forced to tie it up in a ponytail to keep it from adding to her annoyances any further. “I’m Major Jackie Holmes. I’m here for my rehab.”
“Of course, Major Holmes, and if you can bear with me for a moment, I’ll call someone to take you to your room.”
Jackie closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before forcing a smile. She could just tell me where my room is, I’m sure I’m quite capable of finding it. After all, my status clearly says that. They had better have good coffee here too, none of that cheap shit.
“Major Holmes?”
“Yes,” Jackie answered.
“Right this way.” A young nurse led her down the long hallway, her curly brown hair bouncing with each step she took, until they reached room number 47. “I’m sure you’ll be more than comfortable in here.” She opened the door and gestured for Jackie to enter. “I’m Laura, and I’ll be your day nurse. If you need anything just give me a shout.”
Jackie pushed down on the wheel and entered the room. It was boring, and offered little in the way of homely comforts. Beige, everything’s beige, and if it isn’t beige, it’s white. It’s fucking clinical. She pretended to be interested, and pointed to a door. “What’s in there?”
“The en-suite. It’s fully equipped with everything, and the equipment is changeable, as is the furniture in here.”
Thank God, a real bed, and a wall mounted TV. At least I can watch my shows.
Robert put her bag on the bed. “What do you think, love?”
“It is what it is.”
Laura crossed the room to the bed and picked up a control panel from the headboard. “It might not be home, but we try to make our clients comfortable. People are sick to death of hospital beds when they arrive. This might look like a standard bed, but it rises and falls at a push of a button.”
Jackie rolled her eyes.
Laura had seen this type of reaction more than she could remember. It was common and expected. “Your new routine starts tomorrow morning. So today, I’m going to give you a tour.”
Molly edged closer to her husband and took hold of his hand. Both of them had hopeful looks on their faces, and listened intently to Laura’s information.
Oh, Christ, they want to come on the damn tour. “Can my parents come?”
“Of course, Jackie, and once you’re able to get around more easily, you’ll be allowed to go home on the weekends.” Laura walked to the door then stopped. “But there’s a lot of work to be done before that.”
Great! I’ll work my hardest to make sure it happens quickly.
Robert placed his hand on her shoulder. “Take it one day at a time, love.”
Jackie nodded and covered his hand with her own, giving it a quick squeeze.
Laura, wearing crisp clean scrubs, walked out into the hallway, where she held her hand out in the direction she wanted them to go. “Shall we take the tour?”
Jackie shrugged. Welcome to hell.
Laura took hold of the wheelchair handles and pushed her patient along the hallway. “I don’t mean to upset you by doing this. It’s just the facility is massive and I don’t want you to tire.” They stopped outside a set of glass doors. “This is the cafeteria and mess hall. The only time your visitors won’t be allowed in, is between twelve and one. That’s the time our residents eat.”
“What’s down there?” Jackie saw movement in another room ahead of them. She edged closer to the door, her parents right behind her.
“That’s the gym. You’ll be in there for a few hours each day. We have different types of machinery to help improve your leg and arm muscles, and build your core strength.”
Molly put a hand on Jackie’s shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze, and as her eyes widened and her ru
ddy complexion deepened, she absorbed the wonderful facilities.
Laura stepped around them. “I’d like to show you the swimming pool next, and afterwards, I’ll show you the grounds.”
Robert gave a wistful look with his green eyes. “That’s where you’ll have trouble with her…You’ll not be able to get her out of the water. One of my pet names for her is my little mermaid.” He smiled proudly as Jackie glared at him.
“Until you’ve seen your physiotherapist, you won’t be allowed to go swimming, but once they okay you, you can swim whenever you like.”
Laura walked them through the rest of the facilities, showing them where the doctors consulting rooms and special treatment rooms were, where the pharmacy was, and where the various nurses stations and emergency facilities were located, At the end of the tour, Laura lead them back to Jackie’s room.
When they arrived at the doorway, Jackie pushed herself inside, then went straight to her bag and settled it across her lap. “Okay, let’s get settled in.”
•••
Robert sat in the brown leather chair and crossed his legs. “I must admit; this is some rehab centre.”
“And you’ve been to how many?”
Molly leaned down and cupped her daughter’s chin with her hand. Their brown eyes met in a stare. “Remember, take it one day at a time.”
I’m sure she thinks I’ll be trying to run, skip and jump tomorrow morning. “You two need to go home, so I can put my stuff away.”
Robert frowned. “Only if you’re sure.”
“I’m more than sure, Dad. Thanks for picking me up, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. Give me a couple of days to get settled in and find out what my routine’s going to be, then come back to visit.”
They shared a lot of emotional hugs and kisses, and then her parents left.
Thank God! As much as I love them, sometimes I just need a fucking break. She pulled her meagre belongings out of the bag. Dave can make himself useful and bring me more clothes.
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