Until Next Time

by Claudia Burgoa

“I’ve been busy. Since it’s late, I can’t offer you coffee, but how about tea?”

  “Tea sounds good. While growing up, I used to drink warm milk before bed.”

  “I remember that. I’d like to offer you milk, but we don’t have any. Neither one of us drinks it.”

  When we enter the kitchen, the lights come to life right away.

  “Sensors?”

  “Yep. It takes time to get used to them. The first week they scared the shit out of me,” he says, strolling toward the counter and grabbing the electric kettle. “The teas are right behind you. There’s a lavender chamomile honey that you might like.”

  I open the cupboard, and there are so many kinds of tea that I feel like I’m in heaven. “You drink tea?”

  “Not often.”

  “This treasure tells a different story.”

  “I bring a sample of everything I sell. The loose lavender leaves come from a store in Luna Harbor. The yerba mate is from Costa Rica. Eros produces it on one of his farms.”

  “Who is Eros?”

  He closes the kettle, turns up the temperature, and directs his attention toward me. “Callie’s brother.”

  “I wish I was that close to Pax’s family.”

  “How are things with his family?”

  “They’re bad. Matilda made them a Christmas card. We mailed it, but as usual, they didn’t acknowledge it or send a thank-you note. I wish I could say let’s just not do it.”

  The kettle beeps. He takes a Café Fusion mug and grabs the tin of tea I have in my hand.

  “Why don’t you tell her to stop?” he asks, dipping an infuser with the loose leaves of lavender and chamomile.

  “I’d have to give her an explanation. Your grandparents are heartless assholes isn’t appropriate for her age.”

  He hands me the mug and sets a saucer in front of me. “Wait until the timer beeps, then you can take out the infuser.”

  While he’s cleaning the kitchen, he says, “I bet the Brassard family would be spoiling my kid if…”

  His shoulders slump. His face is more than sad. There’s some emotion I can’t quite pin down lingering in his gaze.

  “You shouldn’t torture yourself with something that you don’t know happened.”

  “What if she was expecting a kid and I pushed her to…?” He closes his mouth, and though I want to reach toward him and console him, I don’t. The timer goes off. I take out the cute infusion spoon and set it on the counter. I sip some of the warm tea while I think of what to tell him.

  “That night. It was Megan’s birthday party. Matilda was only three weeks old. Instead of taking her with us, we dropped her at Mom’s place. She was a baby. I wasn’t going to have a newborn at a ballroom with three hundred guests.”

  I hold on to the mug tightly, trying to keep the tears inside.

  “On our way to Silver Lake, he hit a patch of black ice. We were trapped in the car. They pulled me out first. He yelled, ‘save her, don’t worry about me. Just make sure she gets back to our baby.’”

  I close my eyes, pulling back the tears that are threatening to spill. “I had a broken arm. He…they couldn’t save him.”

  “Hey, you don’t have to continue.” He takes me into his arms.

  I look up at Zach. “For years, I blamed myself. If I had taken Matilda to the party, he’d be alive. Megan sued the first responders. If they had pulled out her son first, he’d be alive. They killed Pax. I killed Pax.”

  He presses my head close to his body. “It wasn’t your fault.”

  “I know it now, but it took me years to get over that part. Why him and not me? Is it my fault that Matilda doesn’t have a dad? I understand you.”

  He cups my face.

  “I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.”

  “I know, but I hate to see you suffer. I want you to know this isn’t your fault.”

  He smiles. “I believe you.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Zach

  The moisture in her eyes, her lip trembling, and the sadness in her voice makes me want to hold her forever. Protect her. Make sure she never sheds a tear. I’m shaken by how overpowering my instincts and emotions toward her grow.

  They increase by the minute, perhaps by the second. I close the small distance between us, brushing her mouth with mine.

  When our lips touch, something inside me explodes.

  A thundering rush of adrenaline and desire.

  It feels like a midsummer night.

  My tongue traces her lips, hoping she’ll open for me. I groan as she lets me inside. At first, I try to possess her with an urgent, demanding kiss, but I stop myself because I don’t want to rush anything between us.

  I slow down the kiss.

  I want to savor her.

  She tastes like mint, lavender, and honey.

  Kissing her is like the thrill of riding a roller coaster. The safety of the wings of an angel. As I explore her, I feel them—all the pieces of her heart torn into tatters. I want to gather all of them and put them together. What is it with this woman? I feel connected to her. The force that keeps pulling me toward her gets stronger by the day.

  Everything with Autumn is need, desire, and dreams.

  Everything is hope, light, and strength.

  I want her.

  I want to offer the little that I have left.

  I can’t.

  I stop.

  Her glassy eyes filled with desire call to me. They’re trying to suck me into a vortex of light that my broken spirit wants to refuse. I’m not deserving, though I want to continue. I should apologize for wanting something I don’t merit from someone so pure. Yet I want to get closer to her. So close our hearts will beat against each other. I want to erase all the bad memories while kissing every inch of her body.

  All I can say is, “I didn’t bring you home to…”

  “I know,” she whispers, biting her lip.

  “We don’t have to…”

  “But we could.” Her voice is so faint when she says, “I want to.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She nods.

  I grab her hand, and we rush to my room.

  As soon as we reach my bedroom, I shut the door behind us and push her against the wall. Her eyes flare with lust as I crash my mouth to hers.

  I kiss her slowly, possessively.

  I devour her, kissing all the air out of her.

  She kisses me back with the same raw passion.

  I’m not only kissing her.

  I’m satiating a craving.

  I’m discovering her flaming soul.

  I grab her ponytail, yanking it and tracing my open mouth down her neck, sucking on the sensitive skin.

  “I need you. I need to feel you in every way,” I groan. “But if you need to, stop me now.”

  “Don’t stop,” she begs me.

  I comply, taking her lips again, pushing down her jacket, pulling up her tank top. Her body is gorgeous. I study it as I unzip her jeans and push them slowly as I trace kisses along her skin. Once she’s down to her lacy bra and cotton panties, I look at her. My blood pulses hot through my body.

  Autumn is a vision. The most beautiful woman in the world.

  I want to dig my cock out of my pants and just fuck her. It wouldn’t last. I’m not going to last because it’s been so long. Too long, and I’m breaking my celibacy with this perfect woman who’s trusting me with her body.

  I stand and undress in record time. I’m not sure how I want her—against the wall, on top of me…underneath me. I plan on doing all that. We have all night.

  I take her mouth. My new favorite thing might be kissing her. My hands touch her hardening nipples. She whimpers as I interrupt our kiss and moan when my mouth trails down her jaw, her neck and eventually pulls and bites on her hardened nipples. I don’t like the feel of the fabric. I reach toward her back and unclasp her bra, releasing her beautiful, perky breasts.

  Fuck, her tits are perfect. I suck on one of them again. He
r back arches, and I move her hands away from her pussy as she tries to touch herself.

  “I’m in charge,” I say, moving my mouth down on her, kissing every inch of her body until I reach her core. The scent of her arousal sends heat to my groin. All I want is to taste her warm, tender, beautiful pussy. I slide my tongue through her folds, sliding one finger inside of her.

  “You taste delicious,” I mumble against her sweet pearl, blowing on it.

  She grunts, pushing her hips to my mouth, grabbing my hair when I thrust a second finger inside and nip her clit.

  “Harder,” she orders. “Fuck me harder!”

  I like that she knows what she wants. I look up, and our eyes lock. “Patience. I want to taste you. Devour you slowly. I promise to fuck you hard later.”

  I stand, reaching out for the box of condoms that Burke gifted me a month ago with a note that said before you knock up your hand. I roll the rubber along my length, then push her gently toward the bed and kiss her hard, teasing her entrance with my dick.

  “Are you sure about this?”

  She nods and whimpers when I thrust a finger inside her.

  Kissing my way down her slicked torso, I return to her center. Slowly, I stroke her with my tongue, brushing it against her wanting, quivering pussy. She whimpers as I strum my fingers over her swollen clit. I insert three fingers and continue consuming her with my mouth. When I feel her inner muscles contract, squeezing my fingers tight, I change the speed, slowing it down. She’s about to explode, but I want her to explode when I’m inside her.

  “Why did you stop?”

  I grin at her frustrated voice and relish the look of her eyes burning with desire.

  Carefully, I climb between her legs. I place the head of my cock at her entrance before sliding into her. Her eyes meet mine. She holds her breath as I push myself slowly until I’m deep inside her. She’s tight and warm, and fuck if I want to lose myself inside her forever.

  We fit just right. I don’t want to own her or possess her. I want to fuse with her. My hands thread through her hair as I cradle her beautiful face. I lean forward, capturing her mouth, and kiss her deeply as I thrust in and out of her. Pleasure, craving, and lust drip from every pore of my body as we become one.

  Too soon, we reach the edge. We are at the peak of the mountain, touching heaven, and about to fall into each other. A shock of electricity zings from the base of my spine all the way to my groin, exploding into dust. I feel like I’m being yanked out of my body and sent to another universe. I’m in the middle of a hurricane, caught in the perfect storm. Her pussy milks me dry.

  I feel like I’m falling, and there’s no net. I don’t have a parachute. Either I jump back to the edge of the cliff or I learn to fly away. The final choice—falling with her until the end of time—isn’t an option. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but for now, I’m going to enjoy every second she’s gifting me.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Zach

  The feel of a body nestled against mine wakes me up. Autumn. I kiss her bare shoulder, nuzzling my nose in her hair. It’s been years since I’ve felt the warmth of another person next to me. We’re in a cocoon. My arms wrap around her body, safeguarding it with my life. I smile, remembering everything that happened last night.

  Her throaty moans as I made her come several times with my hands, mouth, and cock. The calm we shared while we created the perfect storm. As the morning reminds me that what we shared was temporary and a gift, I deflate. After last night, I need more of her.

  More intimate moments. My lips against her, mumbling dirty words as I thrust inside her.

  If I could get one more time with her—one night. No. That wouldn’t cover it. I’m so fucking greedy that I want more than just one night. I want to steal more kisses from her. I want to keep her mouth and her body close to me. I feather kisses along her neck.

  She stirs, her eyelashes flutter and her eyes open, and they stare at me brightly.

  “Hey.” Her voice comes out like a raspy whisper. I could get used to listening to her voice.

  I kiss her forehead, her nose, and her lips.

  “Morning.”

  Her arms wrap around my neck. Mine tighten around her waist. I haven’t released her body since we fell asleep last night. She kisses my chin and runs her lips along my jaw.

  “I’m not sure if you just have a comfortable bed, but I had a good night’s sleep.”

  “It’s probably my arms. They are at your service anytime you want them.” I dip my head down to seek out her lips. We kiss slowly as if we’re trying to remember last night. Sear it into our memories—maybe our souls. I pull her on top of me.

  Our kiss breaks, and our gazes lock.

  My length hardens. I’m ready for her. She grins, her hand reaching toward the box of condoms. “You have a lot of stamina.”

  “You might want to take advantage of that. I’m not getting any younger,” I joke as she rolls the condom down my cock. She positions herself on top of me and moves her hips slowly. Her perky tits bounce up and down as I thrust myself deep inside her. I could spend a lifetime inside her and never get tired of her or her body.

  If only.

  Against my will, we leave the bed. Autumn asks if she can take a shower. I teach her how to use the panel that controls the water pressure and temperature before leaving her. I head to the kitchen to prepare coffee and breakfast for us both. I’m grateful that Burke isn’t home. He probably spent the night with someone. Since the lipstick incident, he stopped bringing women home. Sandy, Sammie, or Suzie came by the house several times looking for him.

  As I told him, if he’s going to be fucking around, he should at least be up front about his intentions. That makes me wonder if I should talk to Autumn regarding last night. I’d like a repeat, but I don’t know if she’d like to pursue this. Actually, I don’t know what this is. A casual fling, companionship, a relationship? Can I have either one of them? All I know is that I don’t want to let her go.

  There’s that word again. Want. Everything about Autumn makes me want. I have only been giving away without taking. With her, I want to give her everything that I am and take all of her. I shouldn’t. How am I supposed to do this?

  Seth’s words resonate inside my head. She’s a single mom. She doesn’t need me in her life. Then there’s Aiden. He’s my best friend. Well, he was, and we shared a lot growing up. Though we’re not as close, he’s still like a brother or a cousin. I’d hate it if my best friend tried to have a relationship with my sister. My stomach still clenches when I think about the time I saw Teddy and Seth kissing. Sure, they were drunk, and nothing happened after Vegas, but I’d hate it if he had taken things any further.

  As I’m plating the scrambled eggs, Autumn enters the kitchen. She’s wearing one of my T-shirts. Her hair is damp, and she’s twisting it into a braid. “I feel more human.”

  “Because before you were…?”

  She smiles. “I felt like a troll or an ogre.”

  “A really cute one,” I say, walking toward her and giving her a peck on the lips. “Let’s have breakfast.”

  She looks at her phone. “I should be going.”

  “You need to eat. Then I’ll take you. I promise.”

  “This looks yummy. I’d ask if you cook, but I assume that’s a yes since you have the cafés and the restaurants.”

  “I know my way around the kitchen, but it’s not my passion. It’s about knowing how to make the basics and how to mix ingredients.”

  She grabs one of the mugs, smells it, and takes a sip. “Mmm. If you ever want to drop by my house to make my morning coffee, I won’t complain.”

  I wink at her. “Don’t tempt me, or I might be at your house tomorrow morning with a pan and whisk in hand.”

  “Ooh, you have a whisk,” she says with a provocative voice. “What do you do with it?”

  “If you behave, I’ll show you.”

  Her cheeks turn slightly red. “We should stop. I have to go soon
.”

  “What are you up to today?”

  She shrugs one shoulder, taking a forkful of eggs.

  “That doesn’t explain much.”

  She washes her food down with coffee, then speaks. “The usual.”

  Cryptic. “So, what’s the usual?”

  “After I pick Matilda up from Mom’s, we’ll run some errands before heading home. I have to do laundry and prepare the meals for the week.”

  Without thinking, I offer, “I could help you fold your laundry.”

  The corner of her lip lifts slightly, but then she frowns. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  “Why not? I can make the day a lot more fun.”

  “Yeah, and I’m afraid Matilda will get the wrong idea. If you recall, she wants me to find a husband.”

  Her words make me slam on the brakes. What the fuck am I thinking? Nothing can happen between us. She’s off-limits for so many reasons. I glance at her. She’s still flushed from last night, satiated. I want to keep that smile on her lips. I’m not sure what it was—the break from her routine, the endless hours of sex, or hopefully, it was me.

  She smirks. “I had fun.”

  I cock an eyebrow, surprised at her statement. “Me too. But I feel like one night wasn’t enough. We could try to make this work.”

  She pushes around the egg left on her plate while fidgeting with her lip. “I have three jobs, school, and Matilda that make it almost impossible to find the time. I can’t…if we…”

  She exhales loudly and drinks more coffee. Finally, when she looks at me, she says, “Everyone would expect more from us. I can’t offer you anything.”

  It sounds about right. We don’t have much to give, and everyone around us will expect more, including Matilda. But we can try, can’t we? Nothing is impossible. If anything, we can defeat the odds. This doesn’t have to look like an ordinary relationship.

  “I understand. The last thing I’d want is to confuse your daughter or meet with your brother’s fist. He doesn’t seem to like the idea of us being friends. I doubt he’d approve if there’s more between us.”