Another look of confusion crosses her face. “Perry?”
“Yeah. I was wondering how long you used to date and if there was anything still there between you two. You seem close for exes, is all. Made me wonder if there was something still…lingering between you and hesitate to put myself into this any further.”
“Perry? The same Perry that did your website and ate with you guys last week?” she asks, brows raised, a smile forming at the corners of her mouth.
I give her a small, uncertain nod.
“Hudson,” she says, bringing a hand up to her mouth. “Perry isn’t my ex. He’s my cousin.”
18
Rae
Hudson thinks Perry is my ex! This is rich!
My chest is on fire and I’m hardly making a sound because I’m laughing so hard.
Wait…if he thinks Perry is my ex, that means he thinks we had sex! Ew! GROSS!
I sober up because poor Hudson has his mouth hanging open. I reach over and gently close it for him. “What did I tell you about those flies, Hudson?”
“I just… I don’t get it. I mean…you two seem so close. I don’t…I don’t understand.”
“We are close. Next to Maura, he’s my best friend. My right-hand man. The best guy I know.”
Hudson drops his head into his hands and groans. “Gaige was right. He said you were probably family but No-Bullshit Hudson was in full swing so I was having none of that.”
“No-Bullshit Hudson?” I question with a smirk.
He gives me side-eye. “Don’t laugh,” he says, trying to fight a smile of his own. “He’s my inner asshole that tries to tell it to me straight. He rarely makes an appearance. Logical Hudson is usually the one milling about.” His head drops back into his hands. “Ugh! I cannot believe I thought he was your ex!”
“Why didn’t you just ask me about him? I’m shocked I haven’t mentioned him before, but I can see where I may have forgotten. I’ve been a little wrapped up in…well, you lately.”
“I didn’t want to ruin anything by sounding jealous. Plus, there was Joey. I guess I felt you were entitled to your past as much as I am mine. I didn’t tell you about her, so why should you have to disclose your past—and nonexistent, apparently—relationship with Perry,” he confesses. “And I really don’t remember you mentioning him. I mean, you said you had a cousin, but you never mentioned a name. I guess you not mentioning his name is only fair though. It made me worry a little. It was like karma for springing Joey on you.”
“You’re right. Paybacks suck, huh?” I say.
Hudson sighs loudly. “I am so sorry, Rae.”
I know he’s not just talking about the Perry thing, but also about Joey. I don’t know what to say because it’s kind of not okay. I know we’ve only been seeing one another for a couple weeks, but he should have said something. I mean, this is huge. I don’t know what to do with it all either. I’ve never dated anyone with a child, and I’ve never seen myself doing so either.
“I know you are, Hudson. Right now though, I’m not sure what to do. I like you, like really, really like you,” I tell him, repeating the words he spoke earlier because they are true. “I just don’t know how to feel about anything else. Like you, I don’t want to hurt your daughter. I just know children have always been a hard no for me.”
His head drops, and his shoulders sink as if they are carrying too much weight.
God, I hate how sad he looks. I hate that it makes my chest constrict and my body ache. That has to be a sign, right? That Hudson isn’t just some person? That I can’t walk away from this because of something I’ve always perceived a certain way?
It has to be.
I take a deep breath and let it out. “But for you, I’m willing to try.”
Hudson slowly lifts his head, locking his eyes onto mine. “Are you…are you sure? I don’t want you to push yourself into this, to regret this decision, because it’s huge, Rae. You have to be sure.”
“I am.”
He takes my hands and kisses my cheek quickly. “Thank you. You have no idea what that means to me.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything,” he says, his face hard and serious.
“What’s with the cuss jar?”
His eyes crinkle at the corners with laughter. “My parents used to have one for me when I was a kid. Figured I’d carry on the tradition. You should see the thing. It’s so full between Tucker, Gaige, and me.”
That tugs on my heartstrings. It’s so sweet that he carried that on from his childhood.
“Um, Daddy? I’m bored,” Joey says, suddenly appearing from around the corner. “Can we watch another movie, please? This time with Rae.”
Hudson turns toward Joey, who’s now standing at the end of the couch. “No way, bug. It’s past your bedtime.”
“But we have a guest! It would be rude to go to sleep now,” she says so matter-of-factly.
I can see the exact moment Hudson gives in to his daughter. It’s obvious he loves his little girl. “Fine, fine, you win, but just a few episodes of Adventure Time.”
“Deal. Can I sit there?” she asks, pointing to the small spot between Hudson and me.
Hudson looks to me for approval, and I nod. “Of course! Come here, kiddo,” I tell her, scooting over and patting the spot beside me.
“I’m parched. You girls want anything?” Hudson asks, heading toward the small kitchen.
“Apple juice, please, Daddy,” Joey requests.
“That makes sense now. Same for me, please.”
Left alone with Joey, I study the small child sitting next to me. If I were to ever see Hudson and Joey out together, there would never be a doubt in my mind that she is his daughter. She has shiny jet-black hair just like her father, and hers is cut into a cute shoulder-length bob. Her skin is the same tanned tone as Hudson’s. She even has his nose. The only difference is her eyes. While Hudson’s are a beautiful, captivating mix of blue and green, hers are all bright blue.
She’s adorable.
“You’re pretty. I like your hair,” Joey suddenly announces.
“Thank you. I was just thinking the same thing about yours. You look a lot like your daddy.”
She giggles. “All the people we meet say that, even Nana. She’s at the hospital tonight. Mr. Matthews fell off the roof.”
“Oh, that’s terrible! I sure hope he’ll be all right.”
“He’s old but he’s tough. That’s what Nana told me in the car ride here.”
I smother a laugh. A child’s lack of filter has always been my favorite thing, usually the only part I can relate to.
“Okay ladies, I come bearing apple juices,” Hudson says, setting down the cups. Joey dives for her cup and downs half the glass. “Whoa, slow down, dude. That’s all you’re getting before bed so you better savor it.”
“Fine,” Joey says, her bottom lip coming out in a pout.
Hudson reaches for the remote and turns on the flat screen. He looks to Joey. “Do you know what time it is?”
“ADVENTURE TIME!” she shouts.
They fist-bump. My heart melts.
We spend the next hour—because it turns out the episodes are only about ten minutes long and every time Joey said, “One more, please,” Hudson gave in—watching a show about an awkward kid and his stretchy yellow dog.
Though the night started rocky, this is the easily the best night I’ve ever had.
After about six episodes, Hudson finally reaches up and clicks off the television. “All right, kiddo, bedtime. Go potty and brush your teeth, please.”
“Will you read to me after?”
He winks at her. “You got it.” She tries to wink back, fails miserably, and scurries off to the bathroom.
I watch Hudson watch her. The love on his face is evident and breathtaking. He looks so happy being with his daughter that I have to fight back the tears threatening to spill over.
“You scared off yet?”
“Nah. She’s adorable. She
looks and acts just like you.”
He rolls his eyes. “I know. Scares the crap out of me.”
“DAWWY! FIFWY CWENTS! CWAP COUNTS!” Joey yells from the bathroom, apparently with a mouth full of toothpaste.
We laugh.
“Sorry,” Hudson whispers to me. “She’s still working on that whole manners thing.”
“Again, adorable. Do you ever charge her for saying bad words?”
He laughs and shakes his head. “No. It’s actually for her college fund. Between Tucker and Gaige, she’s sitting quite comfortably right about now, and I’m sure after tomorrow she’ll have at least twenty more bucks.”
“Tomorrow?” I ask, curious.
“Movie night with Joey, something we do every month or so.”
“You, Gaige, and Tucker?”
He nods. “And my mom. We all sit around, eat junk food, and watch whatever movies Joey wants. She usually makes it through two before she passes out.”
I laugh because I can just picture Gaige and Tucker during that whole thing. “That sounds like a lot of fun.”
“It is. You should come.”
Panic zings through me. Is that something I’m ready for? Meeting his mom? Being in his life? Fuck. I don’t know if I should…but I want to.
“You can say no, Rae. I won’t be mad,” Hudson offers, mistaking my silence for me saying no.
“I’d love to.”
He squints and tilts his head like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Really?”
“Yeah, I think it’d be fun.”
Hudson claps his hands once and rubs them together. “Great!” He walks into the kitchen and then right back out. He hands me a piece of paper. “Here’s my mom’s address. Is five okay?”
“Perfect.”
“Perfect,” he echoes.
Just then, Joey runs out of the bathroom in some Adventure Time jammies. “Ready, Daddy!”
“Dude, what did I say about running in the apartment?” Hudson’s hands fly to his hips. I get the feeling this is his “dad stance” that he breaks out when he means serious business.
Can’t say I don’t like it. It’s doing wonders for his ass right about now.
Joey’s small shoulders drop and she hangs her head. “Don’t,” she says quietly.
“Right. And why is that?”
She lifts her head and scrunches her nose up. “’Cause you said so?”
“Good enough for me.” Hudson shrugs. “Come on, let’s get you tucked in.”
He steers her toward his bedroom but she wiggles from his grasp, turning back to me. “Come on, Rae! Dad reads the best stories!”
I look to Hudson; I’m not sure how to answer her.
“Yeah, come on. We’re reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, and I’m apparently really good at it.”
I shrug and follow them to the bedroom. I stop in the doorway and watch as Hudson tucks Joey into his bed. Rocky jumps up there too, circling for a spot until he’s comfortable. They all curl up close together—Joey under the blankets, Hudson lying on top of them, and Rocky on Joey’s legs.
“Okay dude, you ready?”
“Ready Freddy!”
Hudson’s deep voice fills the room and Joey becomes entranced. She was right; he’s good. He uses different voices for each character and sometimes uses his hands to make a point. Entertaining doesn’t begin to cover it.
I take a moment to glance around Hudson’s bedroom. It’s simple, as plain as the rest of the apartment. I don’t even see a dresser. The only thing giving it life is the striped blue bedspread and the photographs of Joey and her drawings tacked to the walls.
“Okay, that’s it for tonight.”
“But Dad! Things are happening! Important things!”
Hudson chuckles. “As great an argument as that is, you need sleep if you want to have movie night tomorrow.”
“Movie night! Okay, hurry up and kiss me then. I need sleep!”
Hudson tucks the blankets tighter around Joey, careful not to disturb Rocky, and gives her a kiss on the forehead. She puts her little hands on his head and kisses his forehead right back.
I can feel my chest tighten for the millionth time tonight. If there was ever a perfect moment between a father and daughter, it was that.
“Goodnight, bug. Sleep good, have good dreams—no weird ones,” he tells her gently, backing away from the bed.
“Mmkay. Goodnight, Daddy. I love you.”
“I love you most.”
“I love you mostest.”
His smile lights up the room and my heart stops.
In the future, if I’m ever asked when exactly it was that I fell in love with Hudson Tamell, I’ll tell them right now. In this exact moment, I fall in love with his smile, his voice, and the way he loves his daughter all at once. Because this moment? It’s perfect.
“Goodnight, Rae. You’re my fourth favorite person in the whole world.”
I not sure if that was a compliment or not, but I go with it anyway. “Thank you. You’re mine, too. Goodnight, Joey.”
He flips the light off and leaves the door cracked open. I look to Hudson for an explanation of Joey’s ranking as we walk to the kitchen. “I’m assuming you come after me, my mother, and Rocky,” he whispers.
“Makes sense.”
“Did you want to stay a little longer? Or did you need to be going? Also, what are you doing here? No offense or anything, but I thought you had to work tonight,” he questions, leaning against one of the counters.
Laughing quietly, I hop up on the counter opposite him. This was all something I told him earlier when I opened the door. Guess he was too busy freaking out over me discovering Joey to listen. Can’t blame him, because I clearly checked out for a moment too.
“I was cut early. We were dead. I figured I’d come surprise you. Guess that one worked out well, huh?”
He reaches up and cups the back of his neck, giving me a small grimace. “Yeah, sorry again about that, Rae. I really didn’t intend to keep it from you. And sorry about the Perry thing.”
I realize then that I’m not even mad any more. I feel like I should be, but I’m not. Hudson had his reasons, and they are valid.
“You know what? It’s okay. I get it. I’d want to protect that little girl, too. She’s something, Hudson. You’ve done really well with her on your own.”
“I can’t take all the credit. My mom has been a great help. My father was as well when he was still alive. He loved the shit out of that kid. I’m just mad he didn’t get more time with her because we were both stubborn.”
Something clicks. “Joey’s the reason you got in a fight and you moved out.”
He nods solemnly. “Yeah. Missed out on a lot of good years because of it too.”
“I’m sorry, Hudson. That has to be hard.”
“It was—still kind of is—but I’m glad they had what they had together. It was better than nothing.”
“My optimist,” I mutter. He catches it and smirks.
“Yours, huh? I like that,” he says, stalking closer to me. When he reaches me, he steps between my legs and cradles my head between his hands, getting all up in my personal space. “Rae…”
“Hudson.” My voice comes out thick and husky, nothing like I’ve ever heard before.
“Can I… May I kiss you?”
My head barely moves up before his lips meet mine and my entire world implodes.
He’s gentle at first, testing my response. I press into him, letting him know I’m fully okay with what’s happening. His kiss grows firmer. His lips are soft, way softer than they look, and they taste good.
He glides his tongue along my bottom lip and I open for him on a moan. Taking his chance, he dives right in. Our tongues mesh together, playing along one another perfectly. I pull him in closer with my legs then place my hands on his stomach, sliding them up unhurriedly and then back down. I mentally take note that he doesn’t really have “abs” like he said, but more of definition. It’s nice. Re
ally nice.
I’m sure it’s only seconds that pass, but it feels like minutes before our kiss slows. He backs only inches away, brushing small, soft kisses along my lips.
Then, he pulls back all the way, staring me directly in the eyes, our breaths coming in heavily and mingling together. His eyes are glowing, the blue standing out even more against the green.
“Wow,” he says on an exhale.
“Wow,” I repeat.
“That was…intense. Amazing. Perfect.”
I smile and shrug. “It was okay.”
He laughs breathily. “That mouth of yours is dangerous.” He leans in, nipping at my bottom lip. “I like it. It was my first favorite thing about you.”
“Your first favorite thing? What else made the list?” I ask, hooking my legs back around his and pulling him closer to me again.
“Your eyes. They speak, telling me things you don’t,” he says seriously. I can say the same about yours, Hudson.
He continues, “And your laugh. It’s intoxicating. Then your sense of humor, your love for Maura, your intelligence. Oh, and your ass. It’s very nice.”
I snort out a laugh. “Thank you.”
“That too. That’s number eight and nine. I love that you’re not afraid to be yourself. Your confidence is such a turn-on. The fact that you can accept a compliment is so…refreshing. I can’t stand when women argue with one. It’s annoying and petty. I love that you’re not like that.”
His mouth is on mine again and we’re back to where we just were, tangled up as much as we can be for our positions. We clutch one another, using our hands to tamely explore. Small gasps slip through, but no other sounds escape. Our lips and tongues are fused together, tasting every single dark corner of each other’s mouths.
Hudson pulls away again, and this time he rests his forehead against mine.
I simply smile, because really, how can you respond to what just happened? We continue staring at each other in silence. It’s a moment I’ll never forget. Hudson looks so…peaceful, and I helped with that.
Here's To Box Set (Complete Series) Page 17
