Dead Aware

by Eleanor Merry

  Clara got out of the car and stared up at the familiar house. She remembered what waking up had felt like, that awful feeling of uncertainty and confusion. She remembered walking through the house and feeling lost.

  But now, she looked up at the house and remembered Max.

  Home.

  Unable to wait any longer, Clara awkwardly ran towards the house, her stained robe trailing behind her.

  She ran inside and noted the furniture strewn about, destroyed, and realized it hadn’t been like that before. Had Max been here?

  “Max!” she cried, rushing up the stairs, pushing her body past its comfortable speed. Throwing open the bedroom door she was rewarded with nothing more than a stained bed and a considerable number of flies and other bugs.

  Not letting this deter her, Clara ran through the rest of the house, calling for Max the entire time. She took an extra moment to pause in front of the unfinished, empty bedroom but moved on, focused on finding Max.

  Meanwhile, Three, Rachel, and Seventeen had exited the car and made their way to the front door with Nine trailing slightly behind. They watched her with pity in their eyes as she desperately searched.

  On her second pass through the house, she stopped in the kitchen and Clara finally let her shoulders slump. Gripping the counter, she closed her eyes and tried not to let her body shake. She heard someone walk into the room but didn’t look up. A moment later, Three’s arms wrapped around her and Clara let herself fall into the old man's embrace. She found herself, not for the first time, grateful for his comfort and presence. Silent tears ran down her face.

  Max wasn’t here.

  “You be okay,” Three told her. “We here with you.”

  Clara started to nod before bursting into heavy sobs. Three said nothing more, silently rubbing her back.

  After a moment, they heard noises coming from the front and Rachel's voice rang out with urgency, calling Clara to the door.

  Rushing over, Clara and Three looked to see what she was yelling about. All of a sudden, big arms enveloped Clara in such a hug she couldn’t even see who they belonged to.

  A familiar smell filled Clara’s nose and fresh tears sprang to her eyes.

  “Max.”

  “Clara,” Max sobbed, holding his wife tightly. The world seemed to drop away as they held one another.

  Despite everything they had been through, they found each other.

  After a moment, Max recalled the others around them, including a brown-haired woman whom he suspected was uninfected. Max didn’t care in the slightest, though. In that moment, as he held Clara tightly against him, he felt nothing but gratitude and love.

  Placing her face into his hands, Max looked deeply into her face and was rewarded by a pair of familiar and stunning blue eyes looking back at him. All his fears of her not accepting him, or of her being dead, faded away when he looked into her eyes and saw nothing but acceptance and love.

  “Love you,” she whispered up at him, causing him to lean down and kiss her passionately.

  A small whoop coming from the pale brown infected woman behind him interrupted their moment. An older man poked the woman to shush her, but she only snickered.

  “Hi, Max,” the woman said, giving him a little wave and a knowing grin. “Clara, huh? Better than Seventeen.” She wagged her eyebrows a bit and winked.

  Clara laughed at this. She was so overwhelmed with seeing Max again that she hadn’t even realized she now knew her real name. Max looked at Seventeen and then to Clara for an explanation.

  “Max, this Seventeen, Nine, and Three.” Max nodded, pleased that Clara hadn’t been alone, though he could tell she had obviously been through the sickness. He held her a bit tighter, thinking of what Jay had gone through in the hotel and the vague memories of his own death. He felt guilty he hadn’t been there for her like he should have been. Remembering the uninfected woman, Max turned around for an explanation and introduction.

  “I’m Rachel,” she introduced herself. “I’m a doctor. I won’t hurt any of you. I helped get them here. Clara’s been looking forward to this for quite some time.” She smiled warmly.

  Jay, having finally untangled himself from the trailer on the bike in which Max had left him, wandered over at this opportune moment. Ignoring everyone else, he walked right up to Clara. Max smiled, guessing that Jay remembered her from the many times Max had been holding her picture.

  “This is Jay. Jay, this…” Max began, before being interrupted with one of the only words Jay had said since his turning. “Clara.” Max grinned widely, placing a hand on Jay’s shoulder.

  Just as Clara was about to greet the boy, a gunshot rang out hitting the door beside them.

  CHAPTER 33

  Several things happened all at once.

  Max threw himself over Clara. Everyone else standing in the doorway immediately dropped to the ground and looked for the source of the shot that was fired. A voice rang out over the yard.

  “Don’t move! I’d rather you come alive, but I’m happy to take you fuckers dead too!” Wolfe shouted, a dozen men around him all aiming their weapons at the small crowd. Max felt Clara flinch under him at the sound of the man's voice. A deep growl grew in his throat at the thought that this meatbag scared his wife, his Clara.

  “Doctor, really?” Wolfe mocked from across the lawn. “Betraying your own kind for some fucking zombies?”

  Rachel glared at him. “They’re fucking people, you monster!” Behind her, the infected all bared their teeth.

  Wolfe began laughing, but quickly stopped as a few faint but distinct moans carried in the breeze. Looking around, Max noticed other infected coming out of various houses and other hiding spots in the vicinity. Apparently, the loud echo of the gunshot had brought them out, a dinner bell for the infected. Multiple small groups from the area slowly shuffled towards them. It wasn’t long before Wolfe’s men had a lot more targets.

  “Shoot!” The command rang out over the area.

  Max and everyone else in the door quickly pushed themselves inside. Unfortunately, the earlier warning shot had hit the hinge of the door, rendering it unable to close. They all stood inside the doorway watching as their infected brethren descended upon the soldiers. Max noticed the doctor fussing over Clara, who was waving her away, but quickly turned his attention back to the scene outside.

  More and more infected poured out from the houses and alleys, making their way towards the loud and tantalizing men in the middle of the street, who were now seriously outnumbered. Down the street and out of range, he saw a few groups huddled together talking. Guy was right, he thought, there are more like us. His heart jumped into his throat as he watched one trio break away and make their way towards the soldiers.

  Max looked at the men in the street, their eyes filled with hate as they shot at anything within range. Some of the infected approaching were slower, and he saw one soldier let a young infected man approach only to pull out a cattle prod and zap him. The soldiers laughed as the boy’s body danced to the current, bleeding and burning on the ground in front of him. All the while the infected youth screamed.

  The dam of fury and outrage in Max burst as he listened to the screams. Before anyone could stop him, he rushed forward into the center of the yard and shouted as loud as he could.

  “LISTEN! EVERYONE PLEASE STOP! LISTEN!”

  In front of him, the group of soldiers stopped shooting, in shock rather than recognition of what he had said. Most of them had never heard a zombie speak before, not having believed Rachel’s speech. They stared open-mouthed as Max stood there with his arms raised.

  The infected that were not smart enough to speak recognized another of their own and stopped momentarily, imitating those around them who were watching Max. Clara struggled to get out to him but was held in place by Three, who seemed to accept, if not understand, what Max was doing. The only sound on the block was Clara’s voice calling out for Max and the ever-present whistling of Jay’s nose.

  Max realized that he
had everyone’s attention, and if he had still been able to blush, he would have reddened considerably. But not wanting to lose momentum, he attempted to get out what he needed to say.

  “We are all people.” He paused for effect, looking between the soldiers and the infected. “We not need hurt each other. You that are like me, there is much other food. I teach and help you. We not all talk, not all smart. But we help each other.” Max stopped and looked over at the uninfected men who were looking at him with expressions ranging from awe to anger. “If you just not hurt us anymore, we all be friends. Live…”

  A single shot ran out, breaking the carry of Max’s voice with a loud bang. He didn’t feel the pain but felt the impact and saw the blood that rushed from his shoulder. Max fell to the ground as Clara escaped Three’s grasp.

  The scene around them turned back to chaos.

  Clara ran forward towards Max, heedless of the battle that was once again commencing around them. Many of the soldiers were still stunned and the smarter infected took the moment of surprise to attack. Clara had eyes only for Max.

  “Max,” she sobbed as she reached him, throwing herself down beside him. More blood covered her already filthy robe as she brought her forehead down to his, her tears pouring down both of their faces.

  “I okay, Clara,” Max whispered as he tried to sit up. Clara attempted to support his back to help him up when suddenly Jay was at their side helping her. She noted that the bleeding had already slowed and the wound was not as serious as she had first thought. The two of them helped Max stand, and Clara was pleased to see that their new infected ‘friends’ had caused quite the distraction. Glad for the respite, Clara put her arm under Max and started walking him back to the house, intent on getting them to safety. Jay straggled along beside them, slightly distracted by the carnage all around. Several of the soldiers had branched off towards their targets and small skirmishes went on all down the street.

  Just as they were about to cross the threshold, a familiar laugh made Clara pause.

  “Not getting away that easy,” Wolfe gloated from behind them, his pistol pointing in their direction. Max and Clara tensed, holding one another and waiting. A low growl came from Clara’s throat as she glared at Wolfe. The captain squinted as he glared straight back.

  “You’ve been a pain in my ass since we picked you up,” he stated, aiming the gun at her. With unprecedented quickness, Jay rushed forward to defend them and a single shot rang out around them.

  For a moment, time stood still as they watched Jay fall, blood pouring from his chest.

  Something in Max snapped.

  A guttural and raw sound ripped from Max’s throat.

  All previous guilt and thoughts of humanity dissolved as he roared and rabidly attacked the man who had shot Jay. Before the man could aim again, Max was on him, knocking the gun out of his hand and tackling him to the grass. For a moment the two men grappled, Max’s moment of surprise losing its effect as his less responsive limbs tried to fight him off.

  Max’s shoulder began to bleed in earnest as both men struggled to get the upper hand. Max quickly realized this wasn’t going to end in his favor as the man hit him once, and then again in the face. The third time, Max opened his mouth instead and bit deeply into the man's forearm, eliciting a scream that was like music to his ears. He ripped the chunk off as he dove for the man’s face.

  Trying to defend himself, Wolfe turned his head allowing Max to latch onto his neck, his teeth gnashing through skin and muscle as he ripped out the man's throat. Blood covered him, and he roared at his own victory as the man went limp under him. With glee, he chewed through the flesh, his first true taste of fresh human meat. His chest heaving, he looked up to see Seventeen and Three rush past him, pouncing on the remaining soldiers. Screams echoed over the lawn, but this time they meant nothing to Max.

  Getting up, Max looked behind him at Clara, who was holding Jay in her arms, tears running down her face. Rushing over to her side, he knelt and took Jay into his own arms, heedless of the blood coating his body. After all we’ve been through…. His chest seemed to tighten, squeezing the breath out of him.

  “Max,” Jay whispered, giving him a small smile. Max squeezed his eyes shut and brought the boy to his chest as he took his final breath.

  “Thank you for saving her,” Max whispered back as he broke down right there on his own doorstep. Bloody and beaten, he sobbed as Clara wrapped her arms around them both.

  CHAPTER 34

  It wasn’t long after that they noticed the guns were no longer firing and looked up to see the last few soldiers retreating. The sight of their captain’s throat being ripped out had been the last straw. A few of the mindless infected remained, feeding on the corpses left behind. Rachel had come out to try to help Jay, but by then it was already too late.

  Clara watched Max and could see the wheels turning in his head. The deep furrows in his brow and the darkness in his eyes spoke of loss and defeat. Doing the only thing she could think of, she stood by him, gripping his hand tightly, hoping he knew she was there for him. He smiled down at her, a sad smile, but one that made her heart sing nonetheless.

  Max, she thought to herself. And I am Clara. It will all be okay now….

  While Max was doing his best to put on a brave face for Clara, he felt lost. He had done what he set out to do in finding Clara only to lose Jay. The injustice of a world so prejudiced against them grated on Max's soul and he wondered if there was more he could have done.

  Three and Seventeen made their way back over with a few new friends in tow. Max was too distracted to be excited about the idea that there were more people like them. Like Jay. He hardly paid attention as one man walked right up to him and extended his hand in a greeting Max had almost forgotten.

  “Good kill,” the man stated, nodding at him.

  Max knew better. It hadn’t been a good idea to kill that man. He knew that this wasn’t the way for people like them to be accepted, but Max didn’t have it in him to argue. He finished shaking the man’s hand and stepped towards Three.

  “Max,” Three said nodding towards Seventeen and the others behind him, “we not stay here. Go find new home together. You come?”

  Max stared at the group in front of him for a moment as he considered this. More than ten men and woman stood in front of him, pale and infected, the same as them. Around them, others feasted on the bodies of the fallen. Max squeezed Clara's hand and without a word he turned around and walked into his house.

  They all watched him go and he heard Three’s voice behind him. “No, let him go. Give time.”

  Max was grateful for the man's understanding. He did need a moment.

  He wandered through the once familiar house holding his injured shoulder, a small trail of blood drops following behind him. All around were pictures of him and Clara, small knick-knacks that triggered insignificant memories of times past.

  He stopped in their bedroom, taking note of the ruined bed that looked so much like the one he and Jay had left behind in the hotel room. His heart clenched a moment.

  Max considered how much he had wanted his memories back when he first woke up but was coming to realize that, no matter how much of his former self he regained, things would never be the same.

  He looked down to where a rogue picture lay at his feet. Leaning over to pick it up, he his heart clenched looking at the lovely picture of his wife. Things would never be the same, he thought, but they can still be good.

  He thought of everything that happened and of their new friends. Despite his gratitude for all they had done, he knew that he couldn’t protect Clara as effectively with them. Not in this world.

  With a new sense of resolve, he walked back to the front of the house.

  “No,” Max said. “Thank you for taking care of Clara. But we go. Clara and me.”

  Seventeen opened her mouth to object, but before she could speak Three gave her a meaningful look and shook his head. A moment later, Three turned back to them and no
dded.

  The doctor stepped forward from inside the house and cleared her throat. “Does anyone need a ride anywhere? I need to go back to the base. With Wolfe gone, there are things I need to do, to find out. But I can help first.”

  That evening, they buried Jay under a tree in their backyard. Max wanted to speak, to say something, but the words caught in his throat. Rachel saw his difficulty and asked if he minded, and surprised them all with a beautiful, clear soprano version of ‘Yesterday.’ Max watched the tears fall from Clara's face despite having just met Jay, and he wondered where his own were. He thought perhaps she was crying the tears he couldn't.

  While Clara and many of the others slept, Max talked with Three and another man, who called himself Bino. Max had asked, and the man told him when he woke up someone had asked him if he was “albino” because of his light skin, and he decided he liked it.

  “They captured many of us,” Three muttered to the others. “We were moved from places. By Them.”

  Bino cut in, “You mean the HOs?”

  “What are hoes?” Three asked.

  “Healthy ones.”

  “Yes, Them. The HOs.”

  The men nodded solemnly at each other.

  Max sat silently, absently listening to them talk, but actually deep in thought.

  “Max,” Three asked, causing him to look up at the older man, “tell us about your journey.” Bino nodded in agreement, and Max sighed.

  “Well, first there was this fucking doorknob….”

  After relaying his story to Three, Bino, and a few other stragglers, Three told him a bit of what they had been through, what Clara had been through. The thought of anyone hurting his beautiful wife or keeping her in a cage infuriated him and he pardoned himself from the small gathering.

  Entering the house, he stood in the kitchen for several moments to calm himself. His violent reaction at Wolfe was uncharacteristic, and while he didn’t really regret it, the rage he felt now scared him. There were few things that could truly anger Max and, as with most people, anyone hurting someone he loved was a hard limit. As he calmed himself, he heard a slight rustling coming from the other room. He knew Clara was upstairs asleep with Seventeen and a few others.