FOREVER DECEMBER: GODS OF CHAOS MC (BOOK 15)

by Honey Palomino

  It’s been three days since he kidnapped Leo. He had his normally scheduled visit for the weekend, but when he didn’t bring him back home to me on Sunday night, I knew something was wrong.

  I called him incessantly for twenty-four hours.

  Then, I called the cops. Of course, that was useless, and I knew that was going to be the case, but I had to try. Shane was buddies with everyone on the force, he was their golden boy, for fuck’s sake. He’d quickly risen in the ranks to become one of the Lincoln County Chief’s favorites and I didn’t even want to know what he did to get there.

  Two of Shane’s buddies showed up after I called — Carl and Eddie — sauntering up the sidewalk without a care in the world while I tore my hair out with worry. They laughed. They joked. They made excuses. Surely, Shane was just taking a few extra days with the boy, they’d said, no need to panic, miss.

  I wanted to strangle them by the time they left, and it was clear as day I was going to get no help at all finding my son.

  So, I took things into my own hands. I scoured his bank and cell phone records online, hoping I’d find them that way. When that didn’t work, I drove down every single road in Depoe Bay, then did the same with the neighboring towns. The whole time, all I could do was imagine the worst.

  And then, I received an email from Shane, clearly stating his intentions, which left me shuddering with fear.

  Shane never loved Leo. Once he was born, it was like he resented him and he was just gone all the time. He never took the time to bond with him, but he used him as a pawn in his life whenever it was convenient. It looked good to have an old lady and son at home. Every proper cop had a family. It was like being a politician. It was all for show, mostly.

  Eventually, I finally had enough and I kicked him out. He was furious, because that did not look good for him. Once he got his own place, we decided he would have visitation of Leo every other weekend and I was actually happy about it.

  It meant I would have some much needed time alone.

  I never in a million years thought it would come to this.

  The last year has allowed Shane to build up a huge resentment against me, especially once I wouldn’t let him come home, despite his begging. His anger towards me grew to a boiling rage and now it’s spilled over onto our son and I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming.

  His email was very clear. He insisted he was doing this to hurt me as much as he possibly could. He promised I’d never see Leo again.

  I had no disillusions about what he meant by that.

  He wouldn’t hesitate to hurt him, just to break me.

  That’s why I knew I had to work fast. I had to find him before he could do that.

  But a damned boat?

  How was I supposed to find him now? Tears rolled down my face as I regretted ever meeting Shane in the first place. He was not the person I was meant to be with. My life wasn’t supposed to be like this.

  Everything had gone wrong.

  Except Leo. He was everything to me. He was all I had.

  And I knew there was no way in hell I could live without him. I knew I had to do whatever it took to find him. I knew I’d never stop looking.

  My problem was I didn’t know where to start.

  I took a deep breath and tried to slow my mind — to think.

  I thought about my brother, Leo, and what he would do in this situation. Living without my twin brother had been so hard. I’d always looked to him to help guide me through life. This last decade had left me feeling like I was just lost, going through the motions with no real destination.

  If he were here now, he’d have called up his best friend, Wolfe, and they would have figured this all out together, forming a relentless team until the problem was solved.

  Maybe I didn’t have my brother anymore to reach out to, but Wolfe was still an option, even though it’s been years since I talked to him. His old man was still living in the same house he’d lived in all these years. Maybe he’d give me his phone number, if he had it?

  I pocketed the boat title and left Shane’s apartment in shambles as I ran out to my car.

  Leo was everything. Maybe Wolfe couldn’t help me. Maybe he would refuse to help me, after all these years, after everything he’s been through. And that would be perfectly understandable.

  But for my boy’s sake, I had to try.

  Chapter 4

  WOLFE

  When my old man’s name popped up on my phone, it surprised me. I hadn’t heard from him in years, not since I called him after getting out of the pen. I’d updated him on my move to the northern part of the state after moving and that was about it. I’d never forgiven him for basically disowning me. I doubt if I ever will. I’d never told him I didn’t actually kill anyone. Why should I explain if he was going to disown me anyway?

  I almost didn’t answer.

  But curiosity got the best of me, and I hit the green button, allowing his voice to come ringing in my ears, as familiar as always.

  “Hey, Pop,” I answered.

  “How are you doing, son?”

  “Fine, fine, getting along. How about you?” I asked, thinking someone must have died, or he was going to tell me he had some fatal disease, a sick feeling forming in my gut. Why else would he call after all this time?

  “Oh, I’m getting old, son, but that’s to be expected. My back is shot. My knees, too. Arthritis, mostly. I’ve been lucky, though, so far. Knock on wood.”

  “That’s good, Pop,” I replied.

  “You still up north?”

  “Yep,” I answered, not offering any other details. As far as I was concerned, he didn’t deserve a window into my life. He hadn’t earned it.

  “Good, good,” he said, pausing just long enough to make me wonder if he was having regrets in his old age. “Listen, son, I got a visit. I wasn’t sure if it was okay to pass your number along, so I got her number instead.”

  “A visit?”

  “Yeah, from your old friend, December. The one who’s birthday is in June,” he chuckled. He’d always thought that was the funniest thing.

  “Oh.” Hearing December’s name come out of his mouth threw me a little. Hell, I hadn’t said her name out loud in years myself. But the fact that she was so heavily on my mind this morning made perfect sense now. “How is she doing?”

  “She didn’t seem good, son,” he said. “I got her number to pass along. She really wants to talk to you.”

  “Okay,” I nodded, slowly, my heart picking up a beat. What could December want after all these years? “Let me get a pen.”

  I ran into the clubhouse and grabbed a pen and paper and walked back out to the porch swing and sat down. “Go ahead.”

  I scribbled her number down before we said a quick, brief goodbye, not even a wistful exchange of affection passing between us.

  So be it.

  Wanting privacy, I walked back to my cabin before dialing December’s number. My fingers trembled as I punched her number into my phone, my heart beating like a drum in my chest.

  I took a deep breath, steeling myself.

  She answered on the first ring, her voice like a jolt right back into the past.

  “Wolfe?”

  “Hey, girl.”

  I closed my eyes, wanting all my senses to be focused on her and her alone.

  “Thanks for calling,” she said, her voice shaky.

  “Of course,” I answered. “What’s going on, are you okay?”

  She paused, sighing, and in my head, I could see her bite her bottom lip, just as she always did when she was about to say something important, just as she did that night before she told me she was pregnant.

  “I don’t know if I should have reached out or not, but I need your help.”

  “Okay,” I said, prodding her to continue.

  “It’s Leo. Or Shane. Well, both, really. Shane took him. Leo. I think — I think he’s going to hurt them, Wolfe,” she said, her voice cracking.

  “Hurt them?” I asked, my ey
es flying open.

  “Leo has Lucy, our dog, with him, too.”

  “I see. Where are you? Where are they?”

  “I’m in Depoe Bay, and that’s the thing. I don’t know where they are. Shane bought a boat without telling me, and I think they may be on it.”

  “Why do you think he’s going to hurt them?”

  “He sent me an email saying just that.”

  I paused, taking it all in, my head spinning. If Shane hurt that boy, he was a dead man.

  “How can I help?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know if you can. I’m just so alone, Wolfe. My parents died, and Leo is all I have now.”

  “Did you call the cops?”

  “Of course!” She cried. “But Shane’s still a cop, too, and they aren’t taking me seriously. He’s good at pretending to be a good family man. He’s anything but.”

  “I see,” I nodded, finally understanding.

  “I probably shouldn’t have called…” Her voice sounded so small and sad that it broke my heart. It didn’t take but about three seconds to figure out what I needed to do.

  “I’m on my way.”

  Chapter 5

  DECEMBER

  Those four little words brought me so much comfort I was almost ashamed. I had no right looking for comfort from Wolfe. He’d given up so much for us already. His entire life.

  But when I said he was all I had, it was the truth. And shame be damned, I was ecstatic he was coming. Staying still was close to impossible, so I spent the next few hours pacing and cleaning my house as I waited for him, the snow falling heavily outside my window.

  I couldn’t help but wonder what he would be like.

  What he would look like.

  If he hated me…

  But would he have so quickly offered to come down if that were the case? I hoped not.

  I knew he felt obligated to us because of his loyalty to my brother. But hadn’t he paid those dues already, if he ever really owed them to begin with? I’m pretty sure Leo would have wanted to see Shane go to prison for shooting the clerk instead of Wolfe. I often wondered what Leo would have thought about Wolfe taking the blame for all of that. He probably would have hated it.

  Maybe none of that mattered anymore.

  Damn, it was good to hear his voice, though. My stomach flipped and twisted in anticipation.

  I took a shower and dressed, taking a little extra care with my appearance. It’d been years since I’d seen Wolfe that one time I visited him in Salem, and my heart fluttered at the thought.

  I’d always had feelings for Wolfe. I’d buried them way down long ago, or so I thought. Now that he was on his way, they were all bubbling to the surface whether I wanted them to or not.

  I smiled as I put on a little bit of mascara, remembering the one time we’d kissed. My god, we’d been so young. I was barely sixteen and it was just the one time, but I’d never forgotten it. I had a huge crush on him, and I hoped that kiss would lead to more, but it never did. He never said why, but I suspected Leo disapproved and Wolfe didn’t want to disrespect him.

  He was always so damned honorable.

  Sighing, I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering what Wolfe would see when he arrived. Did I look the same as he remembered? I felt tired and full of sorrow and worry and when I looked at my reflection, that’s all I saw.

  I tucked my dark hair behind my ears and shook my head.

  “That’s as good as it’s going to get today,” I said out loud, as I turned off the bathroom light and headed to the couch to wait for him.

  He’s a different person now, I reminded myself, as I flipped on the television. He may be nothing like I remembered. And maybe I’m nothing like he remembers — and that’s okay.

  I was just thankful he was coming.

  Chapter 6

  WOLFE

  The drive down the 101 was cold and treacherous. About halfway there, I realized I should have borrowed one of the club’s SUVs instead of hopping on my Harley, but it was too late by then.

  I’d just have to barrel through.

  The drive that would normally take me just over an hour took almost three hours instead.

  By the time I got to Depoe Bay, I was frozen solid.

  Just as well, because as soon as I rolled across the Lincoln County line, the memories of my life here began flooding my brain. It was best I concentrate on the painful frigid temperatures instead of the painful memories that surrounded me. When I passed the scene of the crime all those years ago, I kept my focus on the road and refused to even look at it.

  I found December’s house easily, the layout of the tiny town etched into my brain. Slowly, I rolled to a stop on her street, taking in the small Tudor house in front of me. It was a nice place and I was glad Leo had a good home to grow up in. My rage at Shane had been simmering inside of me and the fact that he’d given them a good home to live in didn’t make that subside any. It was the least he could have done.

  I walked down the snow-covered sidewalk, brushing the snow off my shoulders as I removed my helmet and ran a hand through my hair. I was drenched and probably not looking my best, but I’d wanted to get here so quickly, I didn’t care about any of that.

  Not like I had much to work with. What you see is what you get when it comes to me. I was hoping December was willing to overlook that.

  I admonished myself, shaking my head, as I rang her doorbell. Her son was missing, the last thing she was going to be thinking about was what my ugly mug looked like.

  The door opened and it was like a light lit up in my heart.

  “December,” I whispered, a smile stretching across my face.

  “Hey,” she said, smiling back, her eyes shining brightly into mine. She threw open the door and invited me in and I stepped in hesitantly. The house was cozy and warm and neat and tidy, with a fire roaring in the fireplace. “You look so cold!”

  “Yeah, I’m on my bike,” I said.

  “Bike?” She looked up at me like I was crazy.

  “Motorcycle,” I clarified, sliding off my wet leather jacket and heading over to her fireplace. I wanted the warmth of the fire, but I also needed to put some distance between us. I wanted to pull her into my arms and hug her but I was afraid letting go would prove almost impossible.

  She looked so damned good.

  Her hair was long now, dark and straight and falling around her shoulders. She looked older than I remembered, but the years looked good on her, lending a maturity and fullness to her face that wasn’t there before. Her smile faded pretty quickly as she walked over and faced me as I stood next to the fire.

  “Can I get you anything? Are you hungry?”

  “Something to drink would be great,” I said.

  “Ice tea? Coffee?”

  “Got any whiskey?”

  “Oh,” she said, her eyes widening. “Yeah, I think so.”

  She padded off and rummaged around in the kitchen and I took a moment to look around. There were pictures of her and Leo on the mantle, so I grabbed one and looked closer. Leo looked just like his Mom, which meant he also looked like his Uncle Leo. It was a bit unnerving and I quickly put the photo back. I scanned the room and only found one picture of Shane, shoved in the back of a corner bookshelf by the front door. He looked older, harder, almost angrier, if that was even possible.

  December came back and we sat on the couch together as I sipped my whiskey.

  “I can’t believe you came,” she said, her knees bobbing up and down nervously.

  “Yeah?” I asked, raising a brow. “Why not?”

  She shrugged and looked away, staring into the flames. The amber glow lit up her skin and she looked like an angel of fire sitting next to me. I resisted the urge to reach out and touch her.

  “I don’t really deserve your friendship.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “So much time has passed,” she said, turning back to me, her eyes searching mine.

  “I know,” I agreed. “I appreciate
that. Without all that time passing, I wouldn’t be here.”

  “Right,” she nodded, squaring her shoulders. “I barely wrote. I only visited once. You deserved better…”

  “Well, that’s more than anyone else did,” I said, flashing her a wry smile.

  “Still,” she replied, shaking her head.

  “Listen, December. I don’t care about the past. I’m here to help you, but I’m going to need a little more information, okay? But I’m going to be perfectly honest with you, too. I’m not the same person I used to be.”

  “I guess that makes two of us,” she said.

  “Then I guess we’re going to have to get to know each other all over again.”

  “I’d like that,” she said, biting her lip.

  “Me, too,” I said, reaching out and grabbing her hand. She turned her palm up, our fingers intertwining. My heart pounded in my chest as I looked into her eyes. She looked so scared.

  “Everything’s going to be okay,” I said. “We’re going to find them.”

  “I hope so,” she said, her voice quivering.

  Throwing caution to the wind, I pulled her into my arms.

  I did it to comfort her, but a wave of emotion washed over me, a wave so big it threatened to break me down completely. Tears sprang to my eyes and I realized how very much I needed to hug this woman. Not just tonight. But I’d needed it for years. I’d needed it since the moment Shane jumped into the car with us. I’d needed it since my feet hit the pavement and I ran into that store. I’d needed it since I’d sat through the sentencing hearing with her cries echoing through the hallowed halls of that courthouse.

  I’d needed it since I heard the loud clang of my cell doors closing — every single day for a decade.

  She leaned into me and I felt her shaking. Blinking away my own tears before they could fall, I held her close and stroked her hair. After a moment, she pulled away, her brown eyes brimming with intensity as she peered into mine.

  “Leo is everything to me,” she hissed, her voice thick with urgent emotion.