by Lux Carmine
"Maybe whatever happened between drama and now."
I pouted. "How did you know something happened?"
He lifted my hand so that my wet sleeve was between us. "You were chewing on your clothes. What happened?" he asked, pulling me in closer against his chest.
I let out a deep sigh and pressed my cheek against him. "I told Melissa about us..."
He pulled me back a little to look in my face, worry etched on his. "Did she threaten you?"
"No, nothing like that," I said with a shake of my head. "She just didn't understand and she thought I was being childish thinking that I could love more than one person at once."
He sighed and his hand started to pace slowly up and down my back. "I'm not sure I would have believed it myself if I'd experienced it, you know? It must look different to see several people in a loving sexual relationship together. But soon they'll get over and it will be normal and they won't be interested in us anymore."
I picked at his shirt as he held me. "I hope you're right. I love you guys, I'm so thankful to have all of you, but the pictures online and the name calling is getting really old."
He sighed again. "For all of us. We're sorry you're taking the brunt of it."
"It's not your fault that society thinks women should be held to a higher sexual standard than men. It's just...whatever. I can't fix society either. I just wish we could be ourselves in public."
His other hand moved to the back of my head and he cradled me, we rocked softly side to side in the grass. "We're kind of in public right now," he said. "Want to give society a big middle finger and make out with me? Right here under the stars?"
I laughed and moved my hands to his handsome face. "Twist my arm, why don't you?" I said, teasing. His gorgeous chocolate eyes darkened as I raised onto my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his. Kevin and I kissed and made out for what felt like hours in the backyard. And as I clung to him I found the stars raining down over my eyes, his arms tightened around me too and I heard his guttural groan.
When we were grounded again I smiled at him dreamily. "Three orgasms in a day...Wow. You guys are spoiling me."
He chuckled, kissed me softly and placed my feet back on the ground, releasing my back from the tree. "That's nothing, Ruby. Wait until we all live together. There'll be nothing holding us back then."
I laughed and tried to envision it. I scrunched my nose and shook my head, "I can't imagine it being anything but me in bed 24/7."
"You wouldn't always be on your back, surely."
"Where else would I be?"
He grinned. "I've had lots of time to think about where I would want you, Ruby. Not all of them are in my bed."
"Are you going to tell me?" I asked, my grin growing with my impatience.
"Okay. One fantasy I had this morning was of you and me in the shower."
I raised my eyebrows in curiosity. I hadn't thought about shower foreplay. "Then we wouldn't need to clean our hands. We'd already be clean."
He grinned. "Only my fingers would be dirty...and my tongue."
It took me a moment and when I figured it out I was blushing profusely. "That sounds..."
"It will be good. When it happens." He pressed a forceful kiss on my lips and then took a step away, our fingers still locked together. "I should get going, it's getting late."
I nodded and slowly released my grip on his hand. My cheeks were warm as I watched him walk away. He glanced back several times, warming my insides.
My aunt's car pulled up in the driveway at that exact moment. Kevin lifted his hand to block the headlights from shining in his eyes. And before I had the good sense to run back inside I looked into the windshield and stared directly into my aunt's burning gaze.
Oh, crap...
17
Climbing into the treehouse as my Aunt got out of her car probably wasn't the most mature thing I'd ever done, but as I walked the back patio steps to the door leading into the house I felt in my guts that it had been the right thing to do.
My aunt was sitting at the kitchen table, her work clothes still on. It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Or my bare feet sticking to the linoleum, which they were, because my feet had a habit of getting sweaty when I was nervous. If looks could kill, as they say, but seriously, if they could, I would have died right then and there.
"Ruby, come take a seat," she said, her voice calm and even. Too calm. Too even.
I didn't want to go but disobeying even the slightest order was probably not a wise decision as this point. I went over to the table and sat down across from her and set my hands on my thighs, my elbows sticking out like arrows pointing in opposite directions. I opened my mouth to apologize but she held up her hand, silencing me.
"I don't want to hear it, Ruby. I know you've had a rough time of things lately losing your mother and grandma at the same time. I know that you're in a new school, a new house, and all of that. But that does not excuse your disrespect for me and my rules while you are living under my roof. I warned you once already, Ruby. I don't give third chances. You need to go upstairs. You need to pick up your phone, the charger, your laptop and its charger and bring them downstairs to me. If you need a computer for homework there is a desktop right there." She points to the crusty old desktop which took up space in the office nook beside the pantry doors.
The tears were pressing hard against my lower lids, begging to escape. I pressed my lips together and stood up. It didn't take me long to locate my things. And when I returned downstairs I set them in front of me on the table. "How long will you have them?" I asked, my voice wobbling.
"As long as I think it's appropriate, Ruby. Keep up this crazy stuff with all these different boys and it might not be until you leave for college." Her gaze was penetrating. She shook her head and her elbows slammed onto the table, making me jolt. "Why is this happening to me?" she said.
"Aunt Sara I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."
She sniffled and lifted her head, tears falling from her eyes. "But you did, Ruby. And lucky for you I was passed over for the promotion once again so I'll have plenty of time now to keep tabs on you."
"You don't have to keep tabs on me. I'm almost eighteen, Aunt Sara, and I can take care of myself."
She scoffed. "Really? How would you take care of yourself? By sleeping with so many different boys you wouldn't know which one was the father of your baby? Begging which ever one was gullible enough to promise to take care of you? That's not taking care of yourself, Ruby. That's being codependent. You need to stop looking for boys and start looking at colleges, careers. What do you want to do with your life? Love and romance and all of that?" She curls her lips and shakes her head. "Not hard to find, Ruby." She lifted her hands and shooed me away with them. "I can't look at you right now. I need to be alone."
Slowly I stood and left the kitchen. I was a little stunned. Had my Aunt Sara just called me a slut? I hadn't even slept with anyone. Yes, okay, I'd had three orgasms today by three different guys but that was hardly the same thing as sleeping with all of them and risking getting pregnant. I was almost eighteen, damnit, and I'd spent my whole high school career with my nose in a book or doing good deeds for others. Now was my time. Time was short, just like Aunt Sara said, and if I loved more than one person there was nothing at all wrong with that. I wasn’t going to hide to make anyone else feel better.
"Ruby?" My aunt called me back and I went with trepidation. Rightfully so. She said, "You will no longer be going to drama club. No clubs. Period. And if I catch you hanging around with those boys, any boys, you will not be allowed to remain in my house. I cannot have you being a bad influence on Melissa. Do I make myself clear?"
My heart felt as if it had been tossed into a tree grinder. I nodded and blinked back my tears. "Crystal." I turned away from her and ran up the stairs, my vision blurring as my eyes filled with tears. Was this my punishment for three orgasms?
I shut my door and threw myself onto my bed, hugging my pillow to my chest and face as
my body expelled loud sobs. The sound of my pain echoed throughout the room despite the muffling of the pillow. How was I going to go to school and not talk to them? How was I going to face them and tell them that because I'd been weak I'd ruined their play and our relationships?
There was a banging on my door and I quickly stopped up my sobs.
"Stop being so goddamn dramatic, Ruby! Enough of that! Go to bed!"
I heard my aunt's footsteps fade down the hall and I felt this tightness in my chest. I sat up and tried to take a breath but I couldn't. I kept telling myself to calm down, it was a trick, it was a trick. I squeezed my pillow tightly and tried to take another breath. I couldn't. I wondered if this time I might die as I tried to get myself to the door for help. It might be preferable to living without my Lone Wolves. They were the last thing I thought of before my world went black...
My Aunt Sara didn't talk to me while we were in the hospital, on the way home, or when we arrived. She set her purse by the door and walked up the stairs. To be fair to she'd been sitting in the hospital room with me overnight. Melissa had stayed home and was on her way downstairs when we came in the front door.
"Have a good day at school, sweetie," her mom said, her feet stomping and dragging on each step she climbed.
"Thanks mom. Hope you get some sleep..." Melissa called after her mom. Once her mom was up the stairs Melissa finished down the stairs and stopped in front of me, looking me over. "Hey cuz. How are you?" Her eyes looked genuinely concerned as she looked me over.
That question. Why that question. I began to blink back more tears and Melissa's eyes started to water. She looked away and waved at her eyes. "Okay, I'm sorry. Not good, obviously after what happened last night. Are you staying home today?"
I nodded. I reached into my jeans and pulled out five folded notes. "Can you deliver these for me?"
Melissa took the notes and shoved them into her purse. "Of course. Can I hug you or will it make you cry?"
"The second," I said. "I'll be here when you come back. Just...have a good day at school."
Melissa nodded and then went into the kitchen to grab a yogurt for breakfast. "Bye Ruby."
I didn't bother responding I just went up to my room and closed my door. I laid there and stared at my ceiling, watching the shadows of the leaves dance and flicker. I thought about what the guys were doing right now.
They were probably piling up in Billy's truck. They smelled really nice, all having taken showers before school and spritzed themselves with just enough cologne to make me lean in closer. They were maybe joking and laughing, unaware that like me their lives were about to twist.
When they get to school Melissa will see them in the parking lot and give them each their note like a mother handing out Halloween candy. But this letter won't be sweet. It will be horrific and crushing, a true nightmare.
I rolled over and tried to close my eyes as the tears started to fall again. Only three more quarters to the school year and I would be free from all of this. Free to love and date whomever I wanted. I could make it a year. I was strong enough for that. ...Right?
I must have slept hard. The knock on the door woke me and I groggily sat up. Melissa came in and closed the door behind her. She slipped some notes under my pillow and then made her exit again. I grabbed the notes and shoved them into my panties. I wasn't wearing a bra and I couldn't risk them falling out on the way to the bathroom. Once I was safely inside I closed the door and locked it. The only lock in the whole house, aside from the front door and Aunt Sara's room.
I turned on the fan vent and pulled them out, carefully unfolding the first one.
Rubes,
WTF. Your aunt isn't at school. How will she know if you talk to us or not? Regardless of what she says she isn't going to be able to keep me away from you. I love you.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I'll SEE and TALK to you tomorrow.
XO,
Billy
Ruby,
This really sucks but we'll find a way around it. I haven't given up on you. I never will. If need someone to hold you and tell you everything will be okay you know where to find me. My arms are always open and ready for you.
Love,
Mike
R,
Doesn't matter what she does or says. I will not stop loving you. Ever.
Hang in there, kitten.
XoSxo
No. I do not accept this.
-Kevin
I looked all around when I was finished for another note. Jason's was missing. I stuffed them back into my panties and went to my room. I searched the floor, under the pillow, under my blankets. Still no note. I put them into my bedside table and went across the hall to Melissa's room. I entered without knocking because I didn't want to let Aunt Sara hear me.
Melissa pulled her headphones off when she saw me come in. "What's up?" she asked, eyebrows raised.
"Where is the other one?" I asked.
I must have had crazy eyes because Melissa shifted uncomfortably and looked away. "Ruby, I only got four. Jason didn't give me one."
"Are you sure?" there was a pitch of desperation in my voice.
She nodded and shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry. You know I'd let you use my phone to text and ask but my mom would kill me."
I swallowed back my disappointment and nodded. "Yeah, I know. Thanks for doing that for me."
She smiled. "Sure. It was kind of fun. They didn't look very happy, you know. I heard that there was a fight with one of the drama boys."
"Which one?"
She shook her head and shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it was Jason, he was the only one who I didn't see at the end of the day. That might explain it."
It might. I would feel better if I knew for sure. Tomorrow I would know. I wasn't going to miss another day of school. I couldn't lay around and be miserable anymore. Even if I couldn't talk to them I could at least see them. And that had to be enough for now.
18
I could feel the stares on my back as I walked down the halls.
"She's really let herself go."
"Is she sick?"
"Ew. How could five hot guys want a piece of that?"
I ignored them all. They didn't matter. The only ones who did matter were the ones I had to avoid. I never really thought high school sucked before this. I mean, it wasn't awesome or fantastic...but it wasn't totally miserable.
"Ruby...hey!"
I glanced behind me and when I saw Billy heading my way I turned back around, ducked my head and walked a little bit faster.
"Ruby!" I heard him grunt and a girl make a noise of surprise somewhere behind me. But not that far behind, he was catching up. I spied the girls bathroom and quickly made a bee-line for it. "Don't think I won't go in there, Ruby!"
A hand went around my arm and pulled me back a few feet from the bathroom door and I was pushed against a locker. Not hard. Billy chuckled as he boxed me in. "Jesus, Ruby, you can move fast when you want to. The question is... Why do you want to?"
"Billy, come on. I already explained all of it," I said, looking everywhere but in his eyes. He ducked and dodged, trying to meet my eyes and finally I gave in and he held them.
"Ruby, I get it. We fucked up. And by we I mean the other guys. But look, we're human. We make mistakes and sooner or later this thing with your aunt is going to blow over."
"Or it won't, Billy! If I don't do what she says and she finds out then she's going to send me across the country to live with my dad. And then what, huh? Do you think my dad will be any better?"
He came in to press a kiss to my lips and I turned my face away. "Don't."
He paused, I could feel his breath on my cheek. "Ruby..." It was somewhere between a plead and a reprimand.
"Billy, if we have any chance of fixing this then we need to play by her rules. Please. Please just go." I dared a glance back at him and his jaw was twitching like crazy.
"Mr. Turner! No PDA or bullying in the hallway! I can't tell which one you're
doing from over here..." Mr. Richards was walking closer.
Billy growled and pushed himself off the locker, releasing me. He held up his hands in innocence as he passed Mr. Richards who stopped walking towards me when the imminent danger of either harm or pleasure had passed.
Mr. Richards glanced over his shoulder at me and then turned on his heel and headed back to his classroom. No doubt that Mr. Richards was one of Aunt Sara's spies.
The rest of the day I was both seeking the Lone Wolves out and avoiding them. I wanted to see them to make sure they looked okay. They all looked angry and confused. In Biology I kept waiting for Jason to walk through the door. But he never did.
"Pst. Tracey..."
She sighed loudly and turned her head, looking me over carefully, trying to make me feel small, before answering. "What the hell do you want?"
"Do you know where he is?" I asked, pointing to the chair beside mine. Jason's chair.
Tracey grinned. "Yeah. He's home, probably jerking off into a sock to pictures of you."
I frowned. "Did something happen?"
The late bell was about to ring. I needed her to hurry up. "He beat up that prick president of the chess club."
"Robbie?" my eyebrows shot up. Why would Jason beat up Robbie?
"Yeah, rumor has it that Robbie made some comment about you and Jason flipped out and starting beating the crap out of him. Robbie's not here and neither is your lover boy. I heard they were thinking of expelling him."
The bell rang and Tracey turned back around to face the front. She leaned over and told her partner something, probably about me, but I didn't care. Jason was maybe hurt, maybe in trouble and there was nothing that I could do to help him. I sat there for as long as I could and then I rose my hand and asked to go to the restroom. I ran down the halls until I was outside Steven's classroom. I rose onto my tiptoes and tried to look in through the small square window on top of the otherwise solid brown door. I spotted him and waited, hoping he would look this way. A girl behind him noticed and tapped him on the shoulder. He ignored her until she tapped him a few more times and then after turning his angry face towards her he turned to the door. Our eyes locked and he immediately got up and put a hand over his crotch, probably pretending he had to go pee really bad. The class's laughter curled out into the hallway with him.
