by Lux Carmine
As soon as we had a little privacy he took my face in his hands and gave me a kiss so hungry that my knees weakened. I pushed him away with what little resolve I had left. "Jason. What happened to Jason? Is he okay? Is he getting expelled?"
Steven's face darkened for half a second before he plastered on a smile. "See, this is why we love you, Ruby. You're going through so much shit of your own and yet you're worried about one of us."
I shook my head, "No. Please answer the question. I don't need you trying to make me feel good right now. Right now I need the truth. Is he alright?"
He put his hand on my neck, his thumb stretched until it smoothed over my cheek. "He will be. Our foster dad is doing everything he can to make sure Jason doesn't get expelled. And Jason is already adamant that if it does happen he can still go ahead and get his GED. He'll be fine." His eyes dropped and found my lips and as much as I wanted to kiss him I grabbed onto his hand and pulled it away from my face.
"Thank you. He didn't write me back and I was worried. And when I heard that he was in a fight... I just had to know he was okay." I looked away and sniffled, trying so hard to hold back my tears in front of Steven. "I may never see him again."
"Hey. Don't say that. Be positive, Ruby. He'll be back. You'll see him again. Just like I know that that kiss we just shared won't be our last. Things will work out."
I looked at him and as if my body were metal and he was a magnet I was pulled to him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly for a few moments. "Thank you," I said in a choked whisper. I pulled back and wiped at my tears.
"Always. Go get back to class before you get yourself in trouble." I started down the hall and heard him say behind me, "I love you."
I was almost back to Biology when I heard my name. I stopped and turned on my heel. I didn't recognize the voice but I recognized the face. Kind of. Robbie Flosser was walking towards me in the empty halls. He was wearing his usual khaki pants and a cashmere sweater.
"Where are you going? To have a rendezvous with one of your boyfriends?" he taunted with a chuckle.
"I'm going back to class." I turned around and headed that way but I didn't get far before I felt a vice like grip on my arm. It held me and I was forced to stop. Wincing I grabbed at his fingers and tried to get them off of me. "That hurts."
He chuckled again, though it was humorless, cold. "Oh, does it? Do you know what else hurts, Ruby? My fucking face. Do you see what your lover boy did to my face? I'll never be homecoming King with a face as smashed up as this." He yanked my arm until I had no choice but to look at him.
His left eye was swollen, surrounded by deep blue and purple. His lower lip was split in the middle and he had a bandage over his nose. "What did you say to deserve that?" I asked through gritted teeth.
With a quirk of his lip he said, "I told my boys in the chess club that when you were done with the drama geeks we could try getting a shot with you. Judging from the pictures we've seen you're quite eager to do just about anything." He glanced around, the halls were empty. "Maybe you want to come with me into the bathroom right now." He pulled me against him and I could feel his erection pressed against my belly.
I felt bile rising up in my throat. I pushed him away. "Get off of me. Touch me again and I'll scream."
He held up his hands innocently, a smirk on his lips. "Sorry, Ruby. I thought you might be interested. My bad." He took steps backwards as I continued to walk away from him. What the hell was his problem? Did he really think that about me? Did everyone think that about me? I kept my head down as I continued to walk, aimlessly, past Biology. It didn't matter what everyone thought of me. I got a drink from the fountain and then went back to class. I just had to make it through this class.
After class I told myself I'd just have to make it through the bus ride home. Every moment I lived now was just a moment in passing. It didn't mean anything to me anymore.
19
Melissa wasn't home when I got home and I suspected she wouldn't be for quite awhile. It was club day and that meant she'd be with the other cheerleaders, practicing chants, dancing and doing gymnastics. And after that she'd go get a smoothie with Joey. Their life was normal. I envied her a little. I set my back pack on the kitchen table and opened the fridge. I bent down and stared at the contents. Everything within my line of sight looked unappealing. I begrudgingly grabbed a diet soda and shut the door. I cracked it open as I walked to the living room and set it down on the coffee table. My hand hovered over the remote as the doorbell rang. I stood still for a moment, my mind running through all the possibilities. I had hoped one of the five would be on the other side, if not all five.
Quickly I raced to the door and opened it. I was met with Robbie's blue, purple and red face, surprise and then a grin on his face. I frowned at him. "Go away!" I tried to shut the door but he'd put his foot in the way and it sprung back.
"Sorry to bother you, Ruby. I know we had a bad encounter at school today. My car broke down." He turned around and pointed at his car. The hood was up and smoke was coming from his engine. "Can I use your phone?"
"Can't help you," I said, trying to close the door once more. He continued to block it.
"Why not?"
"I don't have a phone, Robbie. You'll have to go ask one of my other neighbors."
"I'm not sure I'll need to now." His face turned from friendly to sinister in no time at all. Before my mind could process it Robbie had pushed me backwards and forced his way inside the house. He shut the door behind him and looked at me with his one good eye.
"This isn't funny, Robbie. Get out," I said, trying my best to use the acting skills that the guys taught me, trying my best to stay calm even though inside my heart was pounding furiously and my palms were sweating profusely.
"No one said this was supposed to be funny." He came closer, slowly. "Tell me, Ruby, do they make you laugh when they're inside of you?"
The bile was back again. I couldn't hide my disgust and he frowned. "They didn't rape me, Robbie. Or try to assault me."
"Why not? It's fun to role play. Like right now. I'll pretend to be the bad guy and you can pretend to be the girl who doesn't want to get violated." He shot forward and grabbed me by the arms tightly before I had a chance to dart away. I winced as he gripped me tightly. He grinned. "There. That face is perfect. I can see now why you got the lead in the play. I thought it was because you were fucking the whole male cast, but I see now that it's because you have talent."
"Robbie, seriously, let me go or I'll scream..."
He chuckled. "Scream, Ruby. That's what I'm going to make you do anyway. No one is going to save you. Your aunt is at work. Your cousin is off blowing her boyfriend and you're on the outs with all of your boyfriends. Why is that? It doesn't matter. Soon you'll be screaming my name. And you'll want more."
I didn't know in what sick twisted universe he was living and I didn't really care. When I tried to knee him in the balls he blocked me and twisted me around, pinning my legs against the couch.
"Tsk. Aside from chess club I also take martial arts, Ruby. I'm very good at protecting myself."
The front door burst open and I heard multiple feet come in.
"Help! Please!"
Robbie released his grip a little as he turned around to look. "Oh, fuck..." He whispered to himself. I felt him release me and then he was running through the house. Two pairs of feet went the same way and as I turned around my nose met with a warm chest.
I glanced up and saw Kevin's worried face. I closed my eyes in gratitude as I wrapped my arms around him. His arm went around me and I felt one other body behind me. "Thank God you guys got here when you did."
"Did he hurt you?" It was Steven behind me.
"No, not really."
"If he hurt you I swear to God I'll kill him," Steven said, his voice menacing.
I released Kevin and turned around and hugged Steven. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and rested his chin on top of my head.
"What the hel
l was he doing here? Did you invite him over or something?"
"No, he just showed up at the front door. And he said his car was broken down and he needed a phone. And after I told him I didn't have a phone to use because my aunt had taken mine he just forced his way in and..." I swallowed back more bile. That was all I could say. They seemed to understand because they just stood there and held me until Mike and Billy came back.
"Fucker got away," Billy said, doubled over, out of breath.
"We should definitely call the cops," Mike said, guzzling down a glass of water.
"No, what are the cops going to do?"
"Ruby! They'll arrest him! He assaulted you."
"There isn't any proof of that, you guys. He didn't hit me, he didn't tear my clothes. It's my word against his."
"So what? That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. You need to tell your side of the story, Ruby, and try to get his ass arrested."
"Maybe..." I said. I really didn't want to sit down with a cop or multiple cops and have to tell my story. I didn't want to think about what could have happened if the guys hadn't come in to help me.
"And you need to tell your aunt that you need to get your phone back. How would you have called 911? It's not safe to be without a phone. You either need a landline or a cell. She needs to know that."
My eyes widened as I glanced from them to the clock. "Oh god. My aunt! If she finds you guys here she's going to flip her shit. You have to go."
They protested as I grabbed them all and pushed them towards the door. "But Ruby, what if he comes back?"
"It's not safe to be here alone."
"She'll be home any..."
The front door opened and my aunt came in. She slammed the door behind her, glaring at us. "Really, Ruby? It's been all of two days since I punished you and you're at it again? Four guys?" Her eyes took all of them in. My guys stood as rigid as soldiers being inspected by a drill sergeant.
"Ms. Andrews, it's not what it looks like," Steven said.
My aunt shook her head. "No, young man. Do not address me. You were forbidden from coming into my home. You're technically trespassing. I want all of you out of here immediately before I call the police."
"At least you could call the police which is more than Ruby could do since you took away her phone," Kevin said, stirring the pot, making the fury in my aunt's eyes even greater.
With her mouth agape she studied all of their faces. "She was fine until the four of you came prancing into her life."
"That's not true! We're only here right now because Robbie Flosser tried to sexually assault her."
"The only sexual assaulting I've seen is between all of you and my niece!" She shuffled through her purse and withdrew her phone, shaking her head again. "Honestly this is a nightmare." She dialed the phone and I moved into action, grabbing them by their hands and pulling them towards the front door.
"Please, please, leave. She's calling the police on you. I'll handle it. Please."
Begrudgingly they all left. I shut the door behind them and braced myself. My aunt was right behind me. When I turned we were face to face.
"Assault? What other crazy stories are you going to concoct to justify seeing those boys? Do you know what they want Ruby? Of course you do. You've already given it to them, haven't you?"
My jaw dropped.
"Don't you dare look surprised. It's splashed all over the internet. Mr. Richards showed me the page with all of your escapades on it. There is one more that wasn't even here today. He's the one you performed fellatio on and the one you were kissing when you were supposed to be acting at drama club. Honestly Ruby, I can't handle this. And after seeing those pictures and coming home to four guys surrounding you in my kitchen I just...I can't." She looked up towards the ceiling and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Karen, I can't!"
I felt the tears pricking at my eyes as she looked up to the heavens and called my mom out by her name to tell her that I was too shitty of a person for her to care for. I felt like I'd let my mom down. And I also felt misunderstood. I hadn't done anything wrong. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I couldn't let her stand there and demean and lessen what I had with my guys.
"It's not like that, Aunt Sara! I love them!"
She stared at me for a minute and then started to laugh. "You love them? Honestly, Ruby, you're a teenager! You'll fall in love again at the drop of a hat. It seems you already have. But you're doing it wrong, dear, you aren't supposed to date five guys all at once. You're supposed to spread them out."
I stood there gaping at her, angry, hurt and I just didn't give a shit at that moment. "Are you that effing ignorant?! You can love more than one person at a time! Maybe it's weird and not conventional, but it doesn't make it impossible or slutty! I am not a slut! I haven't done anything wrong! I'm being a teenager. A teenager who doesn't engage in sex! Not oral or otherwise. You shouldn't believe everything that you see on the internet, Aunt Sara."
She wasn't laughing now.
"Go upstairs and start packing, Ruby. I'm calling your father. He's going to have to take you."
20
The tears had fallen as soon as I'd pulled my suitcase out from under my bed. I hadn't unpacked it all that long ago. And once again I was being rejected and cast out. I wasn't good enough.
There was a knock on my door and Melissa came in.
"Ruby, what's going on?" she asked, hesitant.
"Oh you know," I said, hiccuping between words, "your mom thinks I'm too slutty to live with you anymore. She thinks all my group orgies are going to rub off on you."
"Group orgies? What is that?"
I laughed, I couldn't help it, and then it morphed into a sob and I stuffed my sleeved hand against my lips to try to keep it from bursting out. Melissa came up behind me and wrapped her arms around me.
"Maybe she'll change her mind. What happened while I was gone?"
"Mr. Richards showed your mom the movies."
"Oh, no."
"And when she came home the guys were here in the kitchen."
"Oh, Ruby..."
"They were only here protecting me. Robbie Flosser..." I paused, my words not finding their way out. "He..."
"He what?"
"He tried to rape me." Her arms left me and she gasped.
"What?!"
I wiped at my eyes as I sat on my bed next to my suitcase. "He tried to rape me. He said that we could role play since I was into acting and he just came in and pinned me against the couch and if the guys hadn't come when they did..." I buried my face in my sleeves and let the sobs come out.
The bed dipped as she sat down beside me and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into her. "I'm so sorry, Ruby. My mom is a little crazy," she whispered. "I wish I could help somehow...but if I stood up to her she might just send me away too."
"N-no," I hiccuped again. "You're perfect. Her perfect little angel. She'd never send you away. But I c-can't stay now. I know what she thinks of me. She thinks I'm a wh-whore."
"But it's not true. So it doesn't matter what she thinks. Do you want me to talk to her?"
I shook my head. "No. I don't want to be treated this way. And I'm not sticking around to hear if my dad is going to bend to her will either. I don't need either of them. My mom lasted on her own and grandma too after grandpa died leaving her with raising two little girls and a giant mountain of debt. I'm an Andrews woman. I'll figure something out. I'll survive." I turned and hugged her tightly. "Thank you, Melissa, for being there for me."
"I always will be. Oh! I have something you'll want..." She got up and quickly padded down the hall. I rubbed at my tears and stood up again, resuming my packing. When she returned she put my laptop and my phone inside my suitcase. With a trembling lip and a touched heart I turned and hugged her again. "If you need anything, Ruby, anything text me, okay? I've got your back."
I nodded. "Thank you." We released and Melissa left me alone in my room. As I stood there I thought about the moments in my life in the past five months that were
the absolute worst. Losing my mom and my grandma in the same car accident by a drunk driver was definitely on that list. Finding out that my father not only had a whole other family but did not want me to be apart of it it was also on the list. And to round it out, a nice even three, my aunt not understanding or even trying to understand me and taking away everything that made me happy was what came to mind. There was also the bullying and Robbie. That made five. And to counterbalance them I have five other things in my life in the past two months that had made me extremely happy. Jason, Kevin, Steven, Mike, and Billy.
As I looked into my immediate future, I could see nothing but bleakness, hurt, pain and disappointment. Going to my father's house against his wishes was not going to make him happy and it was not going to make me happy. My aunt's solution to this problem was not really an option at all.
I really only had one choice, maybe two. You always had to have a backup plan. I just really hoped I wouldn't have to use it. I hoped my first plan would work. I hurriedly finished packing my bags and after checking over my room to make sure I had left anything that I had arrived at the house with I made my way down the stairs. Aunt Sara was in the living room watching The Bachelor, when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs she craned her neck, turning around. When she saw it was me she sat up straighter and narrowed her eyes at me. "Where are you going?"
"Out of your house aunt Sara isn't that what you wanted?"
"Don't sass me, Ruby."
"Aunt Sara I promise I will never sass you again after today. This minute. Because I will never, ever talk to you ever again. Do you have any idea how awful it is to lose your mother and be tossed around like a piece of furniture that no one wants? Do you know how equally awful it is to find someone you love and have the whole world say that you're stupid and slutty? I do, Aunt Sara. You don't want me here and I don't want to live with someone who thinks as poorly of me as you do. Don't try to find me. I'll be fine."
