by K. C. Wells
Kel closed his eyes. What’s the point of getting out of bed? It had been a week since the funeral, and the days had passed in a haze of letters and cards from friends of his parents, visitors bringing food, and calls from the lawyer with regards to his parents’ wills. That last part had him curling up into a ball beneath the comforter. He didn’t want to think about that.
What made things worse? Being in that house. Everywhere Kel looked, there was something to trigger a memory. At times, he swore he heard his dad, his deep voice resonating as he practiced his sermon, or his mom, singing as she worked in the kitchen. He’d walk into their closet and bury his face in his mom’s clothes, breathing her in.
It was like they were still there, and that was torture.
Luc had been over quite a lot that week. Kel knew Luc was checking up on him, and always did his best to show how well he was coping. See? I’m functioning. Except he was functioning at the lowest level. It took him ages to find the energy to throw himself into the shower, and as for eating, his appetite appeared to have fled. When Luc stayed for lunch or dinner, Kel did his best, but he knew he wasn’t fooling Luc. Sometimes it felt like those sharp eyes saw everything.
Oh God. I hope not.
When his phone buzzed, he ignored it. Who on earth would be texting him at this hour? After a minute or two, curiosity got the better of him, and he reached for it on the nightstand. Email. Sighing, he swiped down, and stilled when he saw the sender.
Just got your email. I’m on the next flight home. God be with you. We can mourn them together. Granddad.
Kel tossed his phone onto the bed. He’d known this was coming, of course, but he’d hoped for more time before Granddad showed up. There was something about him that always made Kel feel small. Worse still, he made Kel feel… unclean, like he could look in Kel’s heart and see what lay there.
Kel didn’t want anyone seeing that.
The next flight home was pretty vague, but Kel did some reckoning in his head. He sighed when he realized Granddad could be there as early as the following day. Will he want to stay? Not that Kel begrudged him a bed for the night after traveling all that distance, but he didn’t want him around any longer than that.
There was only one course of action. The house needed to be sparkling clean. Nothing like cleanliness to convince his granddad that Kel could cope on his own. That Kel was a grown up. It didn’t matter that Kel wanted to crawl under a sign that read, ‘I cannot adult today’.
Reluctantly, he threw off the comforter and headed for the shower.
One last look around convinced Kel he was going to make a good impression. He’d even shopped for groceries, so the refrigerator’s contents appeared healthy and numerous. Another email from his granddad had given his estimated arrival at Raleigh International Airport, which meant Kel had approximately two hours breathing space before he got to the house in a rental car.
Right then, Kel’s lungs felt way too small.
He went out onto the back porch and dragged air into his body. It was a warm late March day, and he relished the feeling of sunlight on his face.
“Hey.” Luc was standing at the boundary, dressed in jeans and a white shirt. “How are you doing? Haven’t seen you for a day or two.”
“Kinda getting ready for inspection.”
Luc frowned for a second, then his brow cleared. “Ah. You’re expecting a visitor. No need to ask who. When does he get here?”
“Any minute now.” Kel couldn’t subdue the heavy sigh that rolled out of him.
“Need reinforcements?” Luc’s eyes were kind. “If you don’t feel you’re up to seeing him on your own…”
Kel gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you. That’s really kind, but…” He couldn’t come right out and say Thanks, but I want him to think I’m okay on my own, because that would imply he wasn’t. He knew he wasn’t, but that didn’t mean he wanted Luc knowing that too.
Luc waved his hand. “It’s okay, I get it.”
Kel hoped to God he didn’t.
“Listen, I know I’ve said this before, but if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to bang on my door. You’ve got my number too. Any time, okay?” The sincerity in Luc’s voice brought a lump to Kel’s throat.
“Thank you. Really. You’ve done so much already.” He took in Luc’s attire. “You’re looking a little formal for gardening.” Anything to change the subject.
Luc chuckled. “I came out to get a breath of fresh air. I’ve been working since dawn this morning, and I needed a break. And no, I don’t usually dress this way to work from home. I have a meeting later today in Raleigh.”
For the first time, it occurred to Kel that he had no clue as to Luc’s occupation. “What is it that you do for a living?”
“Develop software. Been doing this since I left college. Except now I’m my own boss.” He let out a happy sigh. “It’s a great life. Work for a couple hours, go for a swim, work a few more hours, have lunch whenever I want…”
“Sounds good to me.” The sudden intrusion of a car pulling onto the driveway stopped him dead. “He’s here, I think. I’ll see you later.” He turned to go into the house, but before he got through the door, Luc called out.
“Kel? I mean it. If you need reinforcements…”
Kel smiled. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.” As he went into the house and closed the door behind him, he finished his sentence in his head.
Although I’m real glad that you do.
Kel got to the front door just as the bell rang. He opened it, and there stood Jackson Taylor, looking tired and careworn, as though he’d aged twenty years since the last time Kel had seen him.
Kel pushed aside his own fears, apprehension and misgivings, and held out his hand. “Good to see you, sir.”
His granddad stepped into the house, ignored Kel’s outstretched hand, and pulled him in for a fierce hug. “Oh, my boy.” He clung to Kel, his thin body shaking.
They stood there at the threshold, Kel not wanting to let go. Finally his granddad straightened and lifted his chin. “After that flight, I’m ready for some tea.”
Kel closed the door and led him into the kitchen. “How long was the flight to the States?”
“Fifteen hours or so. I spent most of them trying to sleep.” Granddad pulled out a chair at the small table and sat. Kel filled the kettle, then set it on the stove. “Do we know what happened?”
Kel wasn’t ready to dive so quickly into such a painful topic, but he knew it had to come, sooner or later. “It appears the furnace was compromised. According to the report, there were cracks in the combustion chamber, some of the seams were leaking, and there were also cracks in the exhaust piping. The levels of carbon monoxide would have been potent.”
Granddad stared at him, wide-eyed. “What about carbon monoxide detectors? There had to be at least one, surely.”
Kel’s throat tightened, and he tried to swallow. He grabbed a glass from beside the sink and filled it with water. After a few mouthfuls, he set it down. “There was one, but its battery hadn’t been changed.” He knew the details by heart: he’d read them over and over until it felt like the words were etched into his brain.
His granddad sagged against the back of the chair. “I still don’t understand how this could have happened. Surely the furnace was overhauled regularly.”
Kel filled the tea pot with boiling water. “No one expected them to be at the cabin that early in the year. The caretaker didn’t know they were coming: it seems they’d made a last-minute decision. So the furnace hadn’t been overhauled since winter, and this was the first time it had run since then.” He knew there was blame, but as for doing anything about it? Kel wouldn’t know where to begin, and right then, his heart wasn’t in it.
His granddad appeared to be in a similar frame of mind. “This needs to be looked into, but not now.” He peered at Kel. “You look different. It’s that beard. It makes you look older.”
Kel attempted a smile. “I am twenty-four.�
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“Which is no age,” his granddad retorted.
“Dad was married by the time he was my age, and a father not long after that.”
“But your daddy had already spent five years with me, preaching the gospel. Then of course, he met your momma.” He narrowed his gaze. “Have you found yourself a girlfriend yet? There was never any mention of one whenever I talked to your parents.”
“No, there’s no one.”
Granddad blinked, but said nothing.
Kel brought the tea pot and cups to the table, sat down, and then poured out the amber fluid. “How long are you home for?” He couldn’t come right out and ask if Granddad intended staying, but he figured this was a route that would take him to where he wanted to be.
“In the States? I’m not sure.” That keen stare hadn’t altered. “Would you like me to stay here a while?”
And there it was, the offer Kel had expected.
“That’s kind of you, Granddad, but I’m sure you must have lots to do. Surely you’re needed back in Africa? It sounds like you’re doing such great work out there.”
His granddad’s face glowed. “This is true. It’s a region I’ve not visited before, and there is so much to do there. But if your need is greater, then I’ll stay. I don’t think the Lord would mind me taking some time for my family.” His face crumpled. “You’re all the family I have now, son.”
Kel reached across the table and took his granddad’s frail hand in his. “I think you’re the one in need. I’m doing okay, really I am. But maybe you should take some time to rest.”
Granddad stroked Kel’s cheek, pausing at his beard. “I can’t say I approve of this, but I can’t deny it makes you even more handsome. And I wouldn’t worry about not finding a girl yet. Looking the way you do right now? You’ll have them lining up. Just make sure you pick the right one. A girl who was brought up in the fear of the Lord.” His smile returned. “Someone like your momma. She was a good woman.”
Kel didn’t want to talk about Mom. It made him ache inside.
“You must be hungry. How about I fix us something to eat, then you can tell me all about the mission.” Anything to keep him off the subject of girlfriends, his parents, Kel’s future….
Granddad patted his shoulder. “You’re a good boy. I’m so sorry I couldn’t be here for the funeral. Did it go well?”
And back to the painful topics again. “It went fine. I had a lot of help from Luc—the guy who lives next door? He did most of the organizing.”
“He sounds like a good man. And yet… is he the one your daddy told me about?”
For a moment Kel was stumped. “I have no idea.”
Granddad nodded slowly. “Your daddy mentioned him. Apparently he doesn’t believe?”
Kel saw red. He pulled his hand free of his granddad’s. “Maybe not, but he paid for the funeral and the reception. He saw to it that everyone got to hear what had happened. And he’s been here for me.” His face grew warm.
That got another blink. “Then he is a good man, despite his lack of faith. I should go next door and thank him.”
“Unfortunately, he’s at a meeting,” Kel said smoothly. “He left just before you arrived.” Okay, so Luc hadn’t left yet, but there was no way he was about to subject Luc to his granddad’s interrogation. Granddad was never one to ignore the chance to preach the gospel, and some innate sense told him Luc wouldn’t take too kindly to that.
Kel got up from the table. “Let me make us something to eat. In the meantime, there’s a comfortable chair in the living room that has your name on it.” He gave a half smile.
Granddad took the bait. “I’d welcome that. If you’re sure I can’t help?”
Kel assured him his assistance wasn’t required, and Granddad got up from the table and left the room. As soon as he was out of sight, Kel sagged into the chair.
I’m not sure I can stand it if he stays.
The following morning, Kel got up early and busied himself in the kitchen. After a search through the contents of the freezer, he found frozen biscuits and a container of sausage gravy. By the time Granddad appeared, a little bleary-eyed, the coffee was made, the biscuits were warm, the gravy was warming in the pan, and Kel was whisking the eggs.
Granddad gave a huge smile. “Now this is a breakfast.” He helped himself to coffee and sat at the table, watching Kel as he dropped the eggs into the frying pan. “I guess your momma taught you how to cook.”
Kel kept silent. He’d taught himself during the last couple years. Mom had never let him do anything in the kitchen, forever saying that no man belonged in there. He worked the eggs the way he’d seen on Food Network, keeping the heat low.
“You know, this house looks like there isn’t a speck of dust anywhere.”
Kel glanced across at him. “I did say I can take care of myself.” A whole day spent cleaning, dusting and polishing was so worth it if Granddad decided not to stay.
“I know, I know, but I thought…” He fell silent, and Kel got on with the eggs.
When he placed the plates on the table, Granddad fixed him with a steady gaze. “What concerns me is that you’re coping a little too well. This is a terrible situation. No child should lose their parents at such a tender age.”
Kel put down his fork and stared at him. “Wait a minute. You’re worried because I’m not falling apart? I can’t win, can I? If you’d gotten here and found me a wreck, you’d be worried. You’ve arrived and I’m looking after myself, I’m shopping for myself, the place is clean—and you’re worried. Looks like whatever I do, you’re gonna worry.” He was out of ideas. Straight talking was his only recourse.
Granddad stopped eating and regarded him steadily. After a moment of silence, he sighed. “I guess you are a man now. And you’re right, but only because this is what granddaddies do. We worry. And now you’re all I have to worry about.” He paused, glancing down at his plate. “I worry about your future. Your daddy had everything mapped out. You were going to finish your studies, and then join him in the church. He told me constantly what a strong, upright, god-fearing young man you are. I guess I should trust his judgment.”
Kel didn’t know if he was relieved or stunned.
Granddad picked up his fork. “So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m gonna finish my breakfast, and then I’ll put my things together and go. I can be home by supper time.”
Kel had only registered one word. He’s going. He’s really going.
“Just as long as we’re clear about one thing.” Granddad narrowed his gaze. “If you need me, you holler, you hear? Because I will be here for you. I don’t care whether I’m at home in Savannah or in the middle of Africa—I will be here for you.”
“Yes, sir,” Kel said quietly.
“And don’t think I’m not gonna check up on you, because I am. So you make sure you stay in touch, y’hear? If you don’t, I’ll only worry, because that’s—”
“—what granddaddies do,” Kel finished for him.
Granddad chuckled. “You got the message. My work here is done.” And with that, he recommenced eating his breakfast, praising the eggs, the biscuits and the sausage gravy. Kel ate, but there was a bowling ball in his stomach. Something Granddad had said had left him shaken and robbed of all appetite.
I’ll think about this later. When I’m alone.
The house was quiet again. Granddad had called to say he’d arrived back in Savannah, and to thank Kel for his hospitality.
Kel wasn’t thinking about Granddad.
He sat on the couch, a framed photo of his parents in his lap. “A strong, upright, god-fearing young man? Is that what you told him? Good Lord, did you even know me?”
Of course they didn’t. How could they, when Kel had kept so much from them? A wave of self-loathing crashed into him, leaving him with an upset stomach, a tight chest and a pain at the back of his throat. All he wanted in that instant was to find something to take away the pain.
His gaze flickered toward his dad�
�s liquor cabinet. For a preacher, he sure kept a lot of strong liquor in the house. Not that Kel had ever seen him even slightly tipsy.
Kel had never been drunk. He wouldn’t have dared. There were some things—quite a lot of things, actually—that were so deeply ingrained, he couldn’t do them even if he wanted to. Sure, he’d tried a beer or two on occasion during the last couple of years, but as for getting drunk? There was always that voice in his head, and he knew it was his dad’s, quoting from Ephesians, Galatians, Corinthians, and a host of others, condemning the evils of drunkenness and debauchery.
But he’s not here, is he? They’re not here. And if it helps, then why the hell not?
This time, Kel’s inner voice won out. He got to his feet and went in search of a new painkiller.
One he hoped would work.
Chapter Six
May
The time for worrying about Kel had long past. Luc had to do something.
After the funeral, he’d kept his promise and checked in on the boy regularly, and at first it had looked like Kel was coming through this. At least, Luc assumed he was. He didn’t get to see Kel all that much, but their brief conversations over the property boundary were proof that Kel was alive and well, if looking a little thin.
Then the conversations dwindled, as did the phone calls. Kel politely refused Luc’s invitations to eat with him. He refused Luc’s offers of assistance. And lately there had been far too many occasions when Kel didn’t answer his phone. No reply to texts. When Luc had ventured across to knock at the door, there had been no answer. Of course, he could have been out, but somehow Luc doubted that. When April gave way to May, Luc’s disquiet increased.
There were signs of life at the house next door, however. Walmart trucks came and went, and more than once, Luc dashed out to catch Kel before he closed the front door, but he was never fast enough.
Almost as though the boy was avoiding him, which if it were true, would be extremely ironic.
The day arrived when Luc wasn’t content to sit back anymore and wait for something to happen. It was time for the last resort—and that meant Christine’s spare key, the one he’d never gotten around to giving back to Kel. Thank God.
