Case of the Yorkshire Pudding

by Erik Schubach

  Then Terrance was blurting out, “I'm so sorry about this ladies, nothing like this has ever happened at the inn before. I can have the door fixed in a jiffy. Or I can prepare another room if you wish, the Andersons checked out this morning, and the Princess Suite is free. Your stay here will be comped of course.”

  I stopped him there. “No, it's ok. You don't need to take a financial hit because some... some, jerk-face went on a rampage. That isn't your fault.”

  He hesitated then deflated and smiled at us as Jane nodded. Then he pointed to the little two-seat breakfast table beside the big window and said, “Hannah sent some of her pie home with me for you.”

  Mmmm pie.

  Jane said to him, “Let me help you with the door. I'm pretty handy.”

  He insisted, “No need for that, you enjoy your honeymoon, I can get the valet, Homer to help.”

  She insisted right back, “It’s no trouble. I can see a reorganizing frenzy in my girl's eye now that everything has been pulled out to see if anything was missing. It's what she does when she stresses.”

  She knew me too well. I was tapping a toe and drumming my fingers on my side as I stared at all of our stuff laid out on the bed. She added, “And trust me, you don't want to get in her way when she does, or you might find yourself labeled or worse yet, laminated.”

  “Hey!” Well fine, it is possible that she might have a point. She... what's with the look? Shut up.

  I watched them go and then turned to the mess, cracked my knuckles, and looped the leashes around a bedpost and went to work organizing. I pulled out my labeler and grinned. Best honeymoon, ever!

  By the time I had our things back in efficient order, Terrance, true to his word, had the door jamb repaired and a piece of plywood secured over the damaged panel. I overheard him telling Jane, “Monday, I can get the woodsmith in to repair it properly, but this is just as secure.”

  Woodsmith? Is that a thing? Or is it a colonial way of saying, carpenter or woodworker? Something for me to look up later, yay.

  When she bid him goodbye, and she closed the door behind her, I grinned at her as I unclipped the dogs to roam free, then I swished side to side, forgetting again that I didn't have a skirt on as I said, “There's pie.”

  She just chuckled at me as she pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. “Yes, there's pie. Anyone ever tell you that your priorities are bonkers?”

  I shrugged, and sidestepped to the table, offering her a fork. “My wife does quite frequently.” What? I'm not about to pass up an award-winning pie.

  Chapter 6 – Go Inside, Now!

  After we called down to have lunch sent up, I set out bowls of kibble for the fuzzy ones. Then we gorged ourselves on the most amazing peach cobbler. Jane was a little apprehensive as she asked me like I was a skittish bunny, “So, are you up to more adventures after all this excitement?”

  I cocked an eyebrow at her. “By the sacred chew toy, woman, I'm not that fragile. A failed break-in doesn't hit the flippin' top ten of the things I've gone through since I met you.”

  She smirked, and I thought I saw a bit of pride in her expression, then she had to tease, “Ooo you almost cussed.”

  I grinned, knowing she liked it when I proved I knew how. “Fuck you.”

  She purred out, instantly heating all my most interesting places, “Is that an offer?”

  “Eeep!” I was tempted, I was sooo tempted. But I sighed and asked, “Raincheck? I'm too interested in seeing what adrenaline-fueled activities you have planned for us.”

  She chuckled and shrugged. “Your loss.” Then she smirked and held out a pamphlet as she pointed out, “I'm not as one dimensional as you seem to think pipsqueak. Believe it or not, I like to stimulate my mind as much as my body. And I'll have you know that I enjoyed most of the places you dragged us to yesterday.”

  I looked at the pamphlet, and my smile bloomed. It was a guided tour of the two historical museums in town and the historic sites between the two. First I blushed at her chastising, then I beamed in excitement as I called Calvin over to leash him up, the little guy followed him, trying to jump up to chew on his ear.

  I said as I captured him and leashed him up, “You know, we can't just go around calling you 'boy.' We'll need a name until we find your real name and parents.”

  I looked up at Jane. She blinked then shrugged like it were a tedious task and asked, “Killer?”

  “Killer?”

  “Hey, you asked.”

  I shrugged. “Ok, Killer it is, you like that boy?” He yipped at me, seeing my attention on him, and I rolled my eyes at my wife and gave her a vicious nose crinkle as I handed her Killer's leash. “Fine.”

  She looked almost appalled, and I had to grin. A big badass like her with a tiny little floof was priceless. She gruffed out, “Fine. I'm not taking the bait, shrimp.” Then she raised her nose regally and marched out the door with the little one pulling at the leash in excitement. I chuckled and hustled after them, letting Calvin's leash go so he could catch up with the amazing new toy he thought was his.

  I had to giggle. “Hey, wait for me,” as I hustled to the stairs in hot pursuit.

  We had an amazing time, and people in the museums looked at Killer in suspicion. I understood, he didn't have a working dog bib like Calvin did, but I really didn't want to leave the little one alone in our rooms. Especially since it had been broken into already. So I did the only logical thing and stuffed him into my shoulder bag. He cutely popped his head up to see where we were going, silly boy.

  I could see in Jane's eyes that she really was enjoying the guided tour... and here I was worrying she wouldn't like this stuff. Layers upon layers was my woman. She gave me the coy, vulnerable look that I adored. I had only seen it once before, at the altar as I walked down the aisle.

  Her eyes had only flicked from me once, to a tall middle aged man standing in the back of the gathering, before her dark eyes, which had just hints of Asian heritage in them, locked back on me. I learned later that that man... was her father. He had not responded to the invitation I insisted she send, and we argued for almost an hour about it.

  He had basically disowned her when she came out. She shared that this was the first time she had seen him since she walked out and never looked back almost ten years ago. Once we were married and everyone was cheering, they shared a look and inclined their heads to each other and then he was gone. I think he wants to reconnect with her, she disagrees. But for that one moment, he had indicated some sort of approval.

  We walked back to the inn as I enjoyed the look again as she asked, “I was hoping we could have dinner in our room tonight. This is the last night I'll have you all to myself.” By the holy tug rope, when she bit her lower lip, I all but swooned.

  I just nodded like a loon before cuddling into her in the late afternoon chill.

  We settled in for the night and ordered up food. The rest is not for your ears. What? No. Go away. Just suffice it to say, I was her squeaky toy for most of the night. Not much sleep was to be had.

  In the morning I was feeling sort of melancholy. I had really enjoyed having Jane all to myself the past couple days and was sad that we couldn't stay longer. But I also missed my furry clients back in the city. They were all family to me. And as odd as it sounds, I missed the organized structure of my job. Not that I'd say no if my bride wanted to stay another day or two, but I also knew she had part of her mind on her ongoing cases that she had handed off to Detective Flannery, her sometimes partner.

  Just how pathetic are we? Hey, stop flapping your gums, it was a rhetorical question. Do you want to hear the rest of this story or not?

  We went about loading the car when it was pulled up front, the suitcases were put in the trunk for us... I really love the staff here at the inn. Then I went back up to grab the gifts we had purchased for our family back home.

  Then just as we were about to get into our car, Terrance popped out the main doors and waved us in. I
chuckled, stuffed Killer into my bag since I had already unleashed him, then we went back inside, Calvin following freely between us.

  When we got in, the kindly man looked at us almost sheepishly as he handed us an envelope. “You've been so gracious with the trouble in your room, and you've been a delight to have stay at the Hudson Valley Inn.” Then he chuckled as he looked at me. “And I think you're the first person to ever use our business center, Mrs. McLeary.”

  I cocked an eyebrow at him, and he inclined his head with a smile.

  “Sorry... Finnegan. And you really didn't need to alphabetize the supplies and label the shelves for us.”

  A certain amused detective looked down at me with a smirk when she heard this. I pouted to her, “I'm not OCD.”

  She patted my head like she would Calvin as she nodded in mock understanding.

  Grr. I blushed.

  He smiled at our interaction as he said, “You two sound like you've been married as long as Hannah and me.” Then he waved that away as he nudged his chin to the envelope in Jane's hand. “A token of our appreciation, a half off voucher for a weekend stay here at the inn.”

  Ooo. That was pleasantly unexpected.

  Then his smile turned wry as he handed a second envelope to me. “For your mother as requested, Finnegan. Hannah doesn't normally give out her recipes, but though she only met you briefly at the Harvest Festival, she thought you were... what were her words? Delightfully quirky.”

  Quirky? Ok, I can see that. And she was a super nice lady.

  I hugged the envelope to me and said as I swished side to side, causing my pastel blue summer dress to flare. “Thank you so much. My mother loves spoiling our tastebuds, and this will do the trick. Please thank Hannah for me, this is wonderful.”

  He nodded then stiffened, surprised by my hug, but his smile was twice as wide when I released him. I waved as Jane looped an arm in mine, causing Killer to cock his head in curiosity as he poked it out of my bag. “Goodby Terrance, thanks for everything.”

  He crouched to pat Calvin's side as he waved with his free hand, then Cal started trotting after us, tail swishing.

  We stepped outside, and I froze when Jane stiffened, and her hand went halfway to where her shoulder holster would have been. I followed her gaze to see the passenger window of the SUV had been smashed in.

  She snapped out in cop mode, “Go inside, now!” As she cautiously approached the vehicle, her eyes sweeping the area, taking in everything. Calvin went with her, and I called him back, and we backed into the Inn.

  Terrance saw us from the end of the hall, and I must have had a strained look on my face, because his smile faltered and he came over quickly, asking, “Is everything ok, Finnegan?”

  I shrugged and said while my eyes were trained on my cop as she reached the SUV, “Someone broke into our car.”

  Jane glanced inside then seemed to relax a little as she rushed to the trunk and pulled out one of her bags and quickly unzipped it. She seemed to sigh in relief then pulled her service weapon out and stuffed it in a small holster and clipped it on her belt.

  Then she placed the bag back in the trunk and went to the passenger side again with her car keys and unlocked it then unlocked the glovebox. I had to blink two or three times when she pulled a tiny little snub-nosed revolver out of it and tucked it into her waistband at the small of her back.

  She keeps a gun in the car? Who keeps a gun in their car?

  Then she pulled out a wicked looking tactical knife and stuffed it into her jacket pocket. With that she relaxed the rest of the way, I could see it with the slump of her shoulder, and how she seemed to take a deeper breath before turning to us and waving me out.

  Terrance came out with me, on his cellphone with 911. He hung up as we reached Jane. Before my girl could speak, he supplied, “The police are on the way.”

  She nodded thanks then said, “Everything is untouched. Nothing is out of place, and our luggage is still there. It looks like just some random vandalism.”

  She looked at me and cocked her head with an almost amused smirk. What? I do not attract trouble... ish. I slugged her arm, knowing what she was thinking, and after a delay, she pretended to just notice and asked, “Ow?”

  I muttered, “I'll ow you, you jerk cop.”

  Terrance was three shades lighter, looking appalled as he said, “I'm so sorry. I can't believe this is happening. Believe me, this sort of thing never happens around here. The inn is safe...”

  Jane, held up a halting hand to stop him. “Mr. LaComb, none of this is your fault. And rest assured, we will be recommending the inn to our friends and family regardless.”

  He nodded, not looking appeased as he said, “At least let us reimburse you for the damage.”

  I shook my head and said, “No, like she said, this isn't your fault, and this is what insurance is for.”

  He exhaled in exasperation then nodded once and countered, “At least let me call the mobile auto glass company. Jeremiah owes me a favor. They can have the window replaced in no time.”

  Jane placed a hand on his arm and inclined her head. “Thanks, that would be greatly appreciated. I have to get my blushing bride home before she turns into a pumpkin.”

  And that was pretty much our honeymoon in a nutshell. And now, here we are, two days later with CPT getting broken into. I really don't believe I'm a magnet for trouble, no matter what the empirical evidence shows. And if I didn't know better, with nothing missing here, I'd almost believe it was related to the other two break-ins if we weren't in a different city over a hundred miles away.

  Chapter 7 – Favorite Aunt

  The next morning, I was getting ready to work and making a quick scrambled egg and ham bagel for Jane. Otherwise she wouldn't eat breakfast. I shared, “I should be getting the DNA results back from the AKC today, and we can find Killer's home.”

  She looked up from her iPad where she sat on the couch, no doubt going over a case file like she isn't supposed to do at home. It is one of our rules that she didn't let me write down. What good were rules if you didn't write them down? Sure it may have been excessive when I had previously had a multi-page list numbered, labeled and laminated, which I shared with my prior roommates, but it was just good sense... right? Hey, stop giving me the, “Oh, Fin,” face!

  Her brow was furrowed in confusion. “You just sent that sample in on Tuesday.”

  I nodded, and she added like I wasn't aware of it, “This is Thursday.”

  “Very good, and tomorrow is Friday.”

  She smirked and retorted, “Smartass. No I mean... you can get DNA processed and matched in forty-eight hours?”

  It was my turn to furrow my brow as I nodded. Then she chuckled and rolled her eyes. “It generally takes weeks to get DNA processed in the crime lab unless lives are at stake, then they can put a rush on it. But forty-eight hours? We could use your guys in our lab.”

  It was my turn to chuckle as I said, “It's the AKC guys, not my guys. And it's pretty standard. I'd imagine their database is a fraction of the size of law enforcement's.”

  She smirked as I moved over to give her her portable breakfast along with a thermal mug of coffee. “It's dogs, so it IS your guys, Finny.”

  She stood, gathered her things, then smiled as she leaned down to plant a knee-buckling kiss on me, leaving my lips parted in want and desire with my eyes closed as she walked off. “I should be home around five or six, love.”

  I nodded and caught up with her as Calvin flowed around her legs while she got her weapon from the upper cabinet above the refrigerator then headed to the door where she donned that sexy as hell, long leather coat.

  I put a hand up, and she clasped my fingers, our wedding bands touching as I looked at them with awe and amazement. I was married. She gave me the warmest of smiles then released me to crouch to give Calvin some good lovin'. “I know, I love you too boy, see you tonight.”

  She stood and gave me a wink, a quick peck on
the lips, then slipped out the door. I laid against it with a dreamy expression on my face, then placed my ear to the door. I didn't hear any footsteps. I shared a secret smile with Calvin, then I locked the door, a few times, and tugged on the knob just to make sure, my ear still to the door and I finally heard her footsteps receding down the stairs. I don't know why it always made me smile that she didn't leave until she knew I locked the door.

  Well, ok, maybe I did. I crouched to scritch Calvin's cheeks as I told him, “She loves us, boy.” He slurped my cheek in affirmation, and I giggled as I stood and looked at the door, tucking a loose lock behind my ear, then smoothing my skirt. I almost skipped off to the spiral staircase that led to the master bedroom upstairs. Cal flowed up with me like a liquid canine.

  Ten minutes later, we were heading out with leashes and harnesses in my bag to walk our clients. We walked the boys in the morning, then after lunch, the girls. You could see the change in Calvin as soon as we stepped out the door. He was all business, a consummate professional when we exited the building to do the job that we both so loved. It was hard to believe I actually got paid to be with super cute doggies. I love my life.

  When we finished for the day, we stopped at the dog rescue to check on the fence repair and new locks that were installed yesterday before heading home. That was just an excuse for me to head upstairs to visit with mom, Puddles and Killer for a bit. I was curious how mom's latest assignment for her 'over fifty' column and blog went. She went urban ziplining, where a traveling group set up zip lines in various big cities across the country so that adventuresome thrill seekers could ride one at terrifying speeds between buildings in the urban jungles.

  I guess it took them over a year to get the proper permits for Manhattan. We have more safety regulations and restrictions here than most cities. And a compromise was made to limit the exposure of the general public below from accidents. The New York zipline went through three blocks of the city over alleyways, where the general populace wouldn't be exposed to danger.

  I had to chuckle, knowing mom was just as much a thrill seeker as Jess and Kerry. She was the Liberty ladies amateur arm wrestling champion for six years running back home. And she did everything from chainsaw carving to inflatable sumo suit wrestling, to the roller derby. She and Garrett were the athletic ones in the family, I got the good fashion sense and impeccable organizational skills gene. What? It's a thing.