Leave Me Breathless: The Ivy Collection

by KL Donn

  “Well, shit.” Her mouth hangs open a minute before she snaps out of her shock. “Are you going to tell him?”

  “I don’t have his number anymore, remember?” I hold up my phone in case she needs a reminder.

  “Double shit.” She taps her finger to her chin a few times, then stops. “You can try and message him on social media. He has a really active Instagram account. He might actually check his IM’s there.”

  “How do you even know that?” I roll my eyes, not really needing her to answer.

  “I may be secretly stalking him every now and then.” She holds her palms up as she tries to defend her actions. “I just wanted to see how long it took for him and that McModel bitch to implode.”

  “Leah.” I attempt a chastising tone, but secretly, I love that she’s looking out for me.

  She holds a finger up to stop me. “Hold on.” She hops up from the couch, races to her room, and then is back, dropping back into her seat with her laptop. She flips it open. “Let’s see if I can message him.” She clicks a few buttons, then stops, her shoulders hunching together as she leans closer to the screen. “Holy shit balls.” Her gaze swings over to mine, her eyes wide.

  “What?” I jump up and scoot over to her, dropping down next to her, my heart stopping in my chest when I see what she’s looking at.

  “It’s not his fucking week.” She murmurs, turning to look at me, my eyes still locked on the Instagram post displayed on her screen. It’s a picture of Poppy in a loose flowy dress, her hand fluttering over her stomach, the caption below stating, “Poppy’s Surprise Catch! Announces she’s pregnant with NFL star receiver, Jasper Chase’s baby!”

  “No.” I whisper. My hand moving over the non-existent bump on my belly. I can’t believe this is even happening. What am I supposed to do now? A wave of nausea rolls up from my stomach, and I lunge off the couch, sprinting to the bathroom, my dinner spilling out of me as I lean over the toilet.

  “I’m so sorry, Megs.” Leah is behind me a second later, rubbing soothing circles over my back with one hand as the other holds my braid. “What can I do?”

  There’s nothing left in my stomach, so I turn, sliding onto my bum next to the toilet, tears starting to trail down my cheeks. “I don’t know.” I take the towel she’s handing me to wipe my mouth and then my face. “What am I supposed to do Le?”

  She slides down onto the floor beside me and takes my hand into her own. “I don’t know sweetie. This is a decision you have to make. I can’t make it for you.”

  “I won’t share this with him. With her.” I sniffle then continue. “Having to share a baby with him would be enough of a challenge, but now to try and have to figure out how to work things with her.” I look over at Leah with wide eyes as I point down to my belly. “She’s going to be the mother of this one’s half brother or sister! Could this be any more fucked up?”

  “Jesus.” A gasp sounds from Leah. “I didn’t even think of that.”

  “I’d rather just do it myself.” I nod trying to convince myself I’m making the right decision. “Why would I want to confuse this baby with a father who can’t seem to keep his dick in his pants and is obviously shooting his sperm all over the place.”

  Leah laughs beside me. “That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?”

  I glare at her, not finding any humor in this. “It’s the truth.” I think back to all the times we had sex. With no condom. I trusted him. I actually thought I was special when he stuck his latex-free dick in me. “I don’t need him, and I don’t want him in my life. I can do this myself.”

  “He has a right to know, Megan.” She says it quietly, knowing she’s treading on dangerous ground. “No matter the circumstance, he’s still the father.”

  “He lost any rights he had the minute he fucking lied to me.” I push myself up off the floor. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” I step over her to walk away, but she grabs onto my ankle.

  “Meg, you’re angry right now, but that’s going to change.” She sighs underneath me. “I know you loved him, but keeping this baby a secret from him isn’t just going to punish him, it’s punishing the baby too. Just think about it, okay?”

  “Uh-huh.” I yank my ankle out of her grasp and storm away, knowing one hundred percent that I’m not changing my mind about this. Ever.

  15

  Present day…

  I give a final wave as I step away from the podium at the front of the room, then make my way over to the steps leading off of the stage. I’ve just completed the last presentation required of me at my company’s annual conference, and could not be more relieved. It’s been a grueling four days of interaction as I tried to impress present and hopefully new clients with our products, and now I’m looking forward to some much needed downtime.

  I weave my way out of the room as quickly as I can, only being stopped twice along the way to answer questions, heaving a sigh of relief when I reach the exit doors and push through them. I head in the direction of the elevators, my heels echoing across the tiled lobby floor when I hear my name being called.

  “Megan?” I’m not sure if I’m the Megan in question, so I plant the toe of my shoe and spin in the direction of the voice. I freeze in place when my eyes connect with the person calling out my name.

  “Megan! It is you.” My heart rate accelerates, my pulse thundering in my ears so loud I can barely hear what he says next. “I almost didn’t recognize you with your short hair.” He’s reached me now, and I still haven’t uttered a word. I just stare at him in complete shock, a frown tarnishing his perfect lips as he points to himself. “It’s Jasper. Please tell me you remember me.”

  I finally gather my senses and offer him a smile. “Of course I remember you Jasper.” I lean forward, my fingers gripping his bicep in a loose hold as I brush an awkward kiss against his smooth cheek. I’ve never been this close to him when he’s clean shaven. “I was just surprised to see you.”

  His hand sweeps against the blunt ends of my locks, just grazing the top of my shoulders. “Besides the hair, you haven’t changed a bit.” My hand releases his arm as I step back, my eyes fixating on his as my brain tries to catch up with my pulse. “What are you doing in Boston?”

  “I’m here for a conference.” I swing my gaze around the room, trying to find an exit strategy. “What about you?”

  “I’m in town for the marathon. I’m supposed to meet a couple of the guys for lunch.” He shakes his head, sweeping a hand over the broad smile that’s lighting up his face, like he’s trying to either hide or contain his joy. “I can’t believe it’s really you. What’s it been? Three years?”

  “Three and a half.” I respond immediately, knowing exactly how long it’s been. “Look, Jasper, I have to run, but it was lovely seeing you.”

  His brow creases at my obvious attempt to cut things short, not giving me the satisfaction as he tries to extend our reunion. “How long are you in town for? Do you want to have dinner tonight and catch up?” He glances for a moment at his feet, which are shifting back and forth in place, then continues. “I’ve wondered about you a lot over the years.” He meets me in the eye, his tone becoming quiet. “There are things I’d like to say. Things I’d like to explain.”

  My heart catches in my throat as I swallow down the feelings lodged there. I force a small smile to play on my lips. “Unfortunately, I’m heading up to my room now to gather my things and check out.”

  “Can I convince you to stay?” His palm is against my cheek before I can react, the memory of his skin against my own sending a jolt of pain to my very core.

  I take a step back, his hand falling to his side as I shake my head. “I’m so sorry.” I retreat another step. “I already have an obligation that can’t be changed.”

  “Oh.” His brow creases again as his lips curve downward. “Well, are you still in New York? I really would love to see you now that I’ve found you again.”

  “I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” I walk away from
him, trying to be as polite as I can without breaking into a run in an attempt to escape. “I’m sorry, but I really do have to go.”

  Unfortunately, he’s not giving up that easily, and follows after me. “Megan, wait.”

  I pause mid-stride, closing my eyes in the hope that I can erase what’s happening right now, opening them when I feel his hand wrap around mine to stop me. “Did I do something wrong?”

  I turn to meet his eyes; his beautiful, unique eyes, and respond in a whisper. “No.”

  “Are you married?” He glances down to my hands, bare of any rings, then back to my gaze.

  I can’t help the short guff of laughter that tumbles from me at the irony of his question, releasing his hand. “No.”

  “Then what is it?” He pleads, wanting answers that I don’t want to give. That I can’t give. Not now. It’s too late. Too much time has passed and I know he’ll be so angry.

  “Momma!” A voice I know better than any other calls excitedly from behind me, spiking the anxiety I was already feeling into near panic. Goosebumps prickle over every inch of my skin as I realize what’s about to happen. Little arms wrap around my legs seconds later in a hug, his sweet voice muffled against my thigh as he says Momma again. I’m frozen like a deer caught in headlights, unable to look away from Jasper as his face displays several emotions in a row; surprise, shock, confusion, and then anger as they meet mine again. I lift my son to rest him on my hip, his eyes a mirror image of the man staring at us both, realization dawning across his features as his fingers splay over his gaping mouth.

  In that same moment, my mother appears beside me, a little out of breath, but not so much that she can’t chastise the boy in my arms. “Chase Montgomery Lewis! How many times do I have to tell you not to run away from Grandma like that?”

  Jasper’s wide eyes ricochet to mine. “His name is Chase?”

  “What’s going on?” My mother’s head snaps back and forth as she tries to understand what’s transpiring, a gasp bursting from her when she sees the resemblance between Jasper and Chase. I nod, blinking rapidly to try and stop the tears threatening to spill from my water-rimmed eyes.

  “That’s a great question.” Jasper’s voice is low, anger seething from him as it lowers even further as he leans forward so only I can hear him. “What the fuck is going on?”

  I clear my throat, trying to gather my thoughts, then shift my body so that I’m facing my mother. “Can you take him? Maybe back to the room or the pool?” I transfer Chase off my hip and extend him toward my mom, her eyes still wide with shock. “I need a little while.”

  “Of course.” She nods, Chase wrapping his arms around her neck as she takes him. “Will you be okay?”

  “She’ll be fine.” Jasper answers for me, startling all three of us as our heads turn in his direction. A bolt of panic jars through me when he takes a step closer to my mom, his hand reaching out to gently lift Chase’s face as he stares at him. His hand slides up to cup his little cheek before moving up to sweep through his sandy locks. There is no denying that he’s his son. He’s a miniature clone of Jasper. A constant reminder of the few days we shared together years ago, and the love that came from that time.

  When he steps back, his head is shaking slightly back and forth, his eyes staying locked on Chase for a few more seconds before they shift to me. “How could you keep him from me?”

  I rip my gaze from his to address my mother. “Mom?” She seems paralyzed, wanting to know the answer as well. I’ve never told her who Chase’s father is, and I know she’s just as eager to hear my explanation. “Please?” I urge her to leave with a look. She closes her gaping mouth, nods, then scurries away.

  As soon as she’s out of ear shot, Jasper asks the question he already knows the answer to. “Is he mine?”

  “He’s mine.” I fire back. I step closer to him, wanting to show him that I’m not afraid of him or the conversation we’re about to have. “And that’s the way it’s going to stay.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” He grips onto one of my forearms, pulling me even closer, his face just inches from mine as he glares down at me. “I have a son, and you think you’re going to keep me from him.” He scoffs, shaking his head as he continues. “You obviously don’t know me at all.”

  I yank my arm out of his grip, pulling away from him. “I figured you already had your hands full with one baby, why confuse matters?”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Confusion mars his face.

  “The baby you had with Poppy.” I spit back, her name on my lips a poison I can’t bear to taste.

  “You don’t know.” He drags a hand through his hair, the strands sticking up in a thousand directions before he grips the back of his neck, his mouth creasing in a tight line as he stares at me. He lets out a short scoff. “You really don’t have any fucking idea.”

  “Jesus Christ, Jasper.” I huff out, my patience at an end. “What don’t I know?”

  He opens his mouth to speak, then stops, both of our heads turning when someone calls out his name. “Shit.” He looks back at me. “It’s Doug and Tom.” He shuffles in place as he glances at them and then back at me. “We’re supposed to have lunch.”

  “So, go.” I’d be more than happy to end this conversation right now.

  “Yeah, I don’t fucking think so.” He sneers. “I’m not letting you out of my sight until I have some answers.” Before he can say anything else, the two men approach, smiles and handshakes exchanged between them.

  “Holy crap, it’s you, isn’t it?” Doug gapes at me, then looks to Jasper for confirmation. “Los Angeles. Three years ago?”

  Doesn’t anyone keep track of time around here? I nod my head, then force my lips to turn up into a smile. “Three and a half actually.”

  “You sure did a number on my boy here.” He chuckles, swiping a hand over his face as he shakes his head. “He sulked around like a dog who lost his favorite bone for months after we left Los Angeles.” He delivers a soft punch to Jasper’s bicep, which is returned with a dark, menacing look that clearly indicates he should shut the hell up. Doug’s humorous expression changes to one of confusion in two seconds flat.

  “God fucking damn it.” Jasper seethes under his breath, then looks at me. “I’ll be two minutes.” He takes a step away from me, then stops. “Don’t go anywhere.”

  I nod, knowing that even if I tried to leave right now, I wouldn’t get far. And honestly, because I have been dreading this moment every day since I found out I was having his baby. Maybe it would be a relief to finally get this over with. It was a moment that was going to happen at some point. If not driven by chance, Chase would have pushed at some point to know who his father was. I watch as Jasper speaks to Doug and Tom, telling them who knows what, my mind still reeling.

  A moment later, Jasper is at my side, his friends heading in the opposite direction. “Let’s find some place we can talk.” It’s not a question, but a demand, his hand landing on the center of my back as he propels me forward.

  I surge against his touch, increasing my pace as I lengthen my stride until his hand falls away. I head to a hallway off the lobby. “How about the bar? It should be quiet this time of day.”

  “Sure.” He’s increased his gait, his body now in line with mine again. “I could use a fucking drink.”

  I walk to a table on the far end of the room, slide into one of the chairs, and watch as he sits across from me. I want to hate him. I want my heart to remain a block of ice. But as I look at him, I already feel myself begin to melt. It’s the caramel colored eyes with green flecks, the dimple in his left cheek, and the light sandy hair surrounding a face so beautiful, and so like our child’s, my breath hitches in shock. My hand flies to my mouth as I feel the wall I built around my heart splinter, fissures of pain bleeding through the cracks as I finally admit the mistake I’ve made. I don’t wait for him to talk. I just start. “I’m sorry.” I know it’s not enough, and I know it’s too late for that, especi
ally when I see the way he’s looking at me.

  “You’re sorry?” He repeats, so much contempt in his voice. “You had a baby. My baby!” His hand balls into a fist as he sets it on the table. “There’s no excuse for not telling me that. None!” His fist pounds against the surface once, my body flinching at the impact.

  “You were having a baby with Poppy. We were practically strangers. I didn’t want to confuse things.” I wrench my fingers together in my lap, looking down at them as I lower my voice as I admit the last thing. “I was so mad at you for choosing her.”

  “I never chose her.” A puff of air blows from him as he chuckles, although not one trace of humor is evident. “It wasn’t my baby.”

  My head snaps up. “What?”

  “The baby. Poppy’s. It wasn’t mine. I didn’t find out until after the baby was born.” He throws his hands in the air. “Looks like I got fucked all the way around here, doesn’t it?”

  Before I have a chance to react, a waitress appears, her demeanor way more cheerful than this occasion calls for. “Heya guys! I’m Chrissy. Starting the party early today, huh?”

  Jasper and I exchange a look that definitely says otherwise. And it apparently doesn’t go unnoticed by Chrissy, who instantly downshifts her mood into something slightly more somber. “So, yeah, okay, do you two want something to drink, or a menu?”

  “I’ll have a beer.” Jasper orders in a clipped tone. “Whatever IPA you have on tap is fine.” He looks over at me, extending his hand in my direction. “You want a glass of champagne? Maybe a bottle of Veuve for prosperity.” His face is void of any emotion, but it’s quite clear to me he’s not being funny.

  “I’ll just have an ice water please, with lemon if you have it.”

  “Sure.” She writes down our order on a pad, and I can’t hide my annoyance at her continued presence and start drumming my fingers on the table. Is a glass of water and a beer that hard to remember? Her eyes dart to the noise, and then up to me, her brows shooting up as she finally gets the message. “Uh, yeah, okay. I’ll be back.” And then she scurries away.