Leave Me Breathless: The Ivy Collection

by KL Donn

  “Sure.” He shrugs. “I love having the little guy around.”

  I shift my eyes to Jasper to gauge his reaction. We haven’t discussed what our schedule will be, and how often he’d like to see his son. I feel like I’ve already taken so much away from him by not telling him I was pregnant, so I want to make sure I give him a chance to weigh in on decisions about him now. “Jasper? Would you mind that? I’m not sure if you wanted to see him again next weekend?”

  He’s quiet for several long seconds, but then nods once. “Sure.” He takes a drink from his wine glass, keeping eye contact with me while he does, then speaks again. “You and I can talk tomorrow to figure out when I can see Chase.”

  “Yay!” Leah claps in delight. “And I promise bestie, I’ll spend so much time with you over the next few weeks, you’ll be so sick of me.”

  “Never.” I grin at her. “Impossible.”

  “On that note, I think I’ll hit the hay.” Tyler places his empty wine glass on the table closest to him, then stands, raising his arms in a long stretch as he yawns. “I’m frigging beat.”

  Leah bounces up beside him, sliding an arm around his waist, delivering a flirty wink. “Come on. I’ll tuck you in.”

  “Good night you love birds.” I sing-song to them as they drift toward the stairs.

  “Nighty-night.” Leah leans over the railing as they begin climbing upwards, giggling. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

  I’m about to respond, but turn my attention away when I feel Jasper slide down the length of the couch until he’s almost touching me. I grip my wine glass with both hands as I lift it to my mouth, hoping he can’t see them trembling.

  “Alone at last.” He raises his own glass, tilting it back as he finishes what’s left in it, then leans forward to place it on the table in front of us. Without saying a word, he slips my glass from my fingers, then places it next to his.

  “What are you doing?” I cringe when I hear the slight shake to my voice. I’m not afraid of him, Not even a little bit. And it’s not nerves. It takes me a second to realize that it’s excitement. To be this close to him again, and to know without a doubt that I want him, and that he still wants me.

  “Nothing, if you don’t want me to.” He scoots a fraction closer, his fingers skimming over my knee before resting on my thigh, his thumb sweeping back and forth. “But I’ve been waiting for over three hours for the chance to try and kiss you again.” He leans toward me, my eyes locking onto his tongue as it swipes across his lips leaving them glistening and wet. “Tell me to stop and I will.”

  I shake my head, then propel myself forward until my mouth crashes into his, my arms coiling around his neck. His arms band around my waist, lifting me until I’m straddling him, our bodies pressing together as our kissing becomes almost frantic. His hands move to cradle my face as his lips leave mine and begin to rain small pecks on my cheeks, my nose, my eye lids. Between each kiss, he speaks a single word. “Missed. You. Missed. This. Want. You. Want. This.” His lips find mine again, passion consuming us both as our tongues slide together, a groan rumbling up from his chest when I grind my core against his hard length.

  He tears his face back, his chest heaving against mine as he pants, his caramel irises locking onto my confused expression. “What is it?” I pant out, my hand sliding up to cup his cheek. I’m still not used to seeing him without his beard, but kissing him is even stranger. It’s more bristled, but it’s still soft against my palm.

  “We should slow down.” He chuckles, giving a slight shake of his head. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but it feels a little weird doing this with your mom right above us.”

  I’m about to argue, but freeze, my brows raising in alarm as I cock my head to make sure I wasn’t imagining things. “Mommy?” Nope. Wasn’t my imagination. I push off Jasper to stand in one swift motion, looking down at him. “Chase is awake.”

  He’s standing beside me before I can blink. “Are you sure?” As if answering his question on cue, Chase calls out for me again, louder this time. “Mommy?”

  “I’m here honey.” I call out, giving Jasper’s arm a light squeeze as I hurry for the stairs. He’s still not good on them and I don’t want him to try and go down them in the dark. “Stay there, Mommy’s coming.” I fly up the stairs, Jasper on my heels, and find Chase standing outside the door to my bedroom, his fists rubbing his eyes as he tries to focus. “What’s a matter Bugaboo?”

  “I woked up.” He mumbles, leaning into my body as I pick him up.

  “Okay, let’s see if we can get you back to sleep.” I stroke a hand gently over his back. “You want to sleep in my room with me?”

  “Okay.” He says, his little mouth forming an O as he lets out a silent yawn.

  I look up to find Jasper staring at us, my heart skipping a beat at the expression on his face. It’s pure, unfiltered love shining from him. It takes my breath away when I realize the feelings we had for each other never really went away. We both just stored them away in a box, trying our best to forget about them. I open my mouth to speak, but can’t seem to find the right words, then snap it shut, only to open it to try again.

  “It’s okay.” He smooths his hand over mine on Chase’s back, and then drops a kiss against the back of his downy locks. “I’ll see you in the morning. Get some sleep.”

  “Okay.” I finally manage. “Good night.”

  In the morning, Jasper and Chase play together after breakfast, Chase passing out immediately when I put him down for his nap at eleven. Tyler and Leah left after breakfast, so Jasper and I take the quiet time to sit down and figure out what’s next for us. Well, at least when it comes to Chase.

  “I work during the week, and Chase goes to a really nice daycare.” I take a sip of the coffee I made for each of us, then continue. “If I have to travel to a client site, my mom will either come with us, or he’ll stay here with her, depending on how long I need to be gone for. I don’t like to leave him for more than three days.”

  He leans back in the chair, his chest heaving as he takes a deep breath. “I was actually in Boston because of the marathon tomorrow. I’m supposed to fly back home on Wednesday.” He frowns, his fingers tracing the rim of the coffee cup in front of him.

  “Oh.” I digest what he just revealed. “So, by home, you mean California?”

  “During the off season, yeah. I usually don’t come back to Boston until late June when training starts again.” He nods, looking directly at me. “Obviously this changes things for me. And to be honest, I haven’t thought about what comes next because I wasn’t sure how coming to see him yesterday was going to go.”

  “And now?” I shift forward, folding my hands on the table.

  “And now I just need a few days to figure it all out.” He leans forward, putting his hands over mine when I start to slide back. “I want to be a part of his life. There’s absolutely no doubt about that. I want to be his father.”

  “But?” I arch a brow, cause I know it’s coming and just want him to spit it out.

  “But I just found out I had a child four days ago. It’s a lot.” He looks over my shoulder for a second, then continues. “All I’m asking for is a little time to process that so I can figure out a new game plan for the next few months.”

  “Okay.” What he’s asking for is more than reasonable. He’s been pretty gracious up to this point, and the very least I can do is meet him halfway.

  “That’s it?” His brow furrows.

  “What else do you want me to say?” I slide my hands out from under his so I can lean back in my chair.

  “It just seems too easy.” He shrugs, a crooked grin on his face. “I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

  “Jasper, what you’re asking for isn’t much.” I lift my hands, palms up, in front of me. “A little time is fine.” I settle my hands back in my lap, looking down at them as I ask the next thing of him. “Just promise me you’ll come back?”

  His chair scrapes back as he
rises, then kneels beside me, pulling my hands into his. “Megan, I promise.” He squeezes my fingers gently. “Hey, look at me.” I lift my gaze, trailing slowly up until I lock onto his, remaining silent, even though my heart is pounding loud enough to announce my fear. “I’ll be back.” He releases his hold, moving one hand to cup my cheek. “For both of you.”

  22

  After driving around the block five times, I’m finally able to snag a parking spot only a half-block away from the building number she gave me. It was probably a bad idea to drive into the city, but when I left Boston, it seemed like a good idea. At least easier in terms of bringing with me what I needed. I glance at the clock on the dash of the Porsche. Just a little after five. Hopefully she’s home. It is a Saturday night, and it is her actual birthday, so there’s no saying for sure if she’ll even be here. I know I’m taking a chance. The one thing I know for sure is that Chase is with Leah and Tyler tonight, so if she is home, we might actually get some time alone.

  I hop out of the SUV, then open the back door to gather the items I brought with me. I kick the door shut with my foot, then head down the sidewalk until I reach her building. There’s a doorman outside, which surprises me a little. I wasn’t expecting her to live in such a nice area of the city, but I guess there’s still a lot about her I don’t know, including her financial situation. The doorman holds the door wide when he sees me, addressing me once I’m in the lobby. “Good evening, Sir.”

  “Hi.” I give him a nod. Before I can ask if Megan is home, he starts talking again.

  “Aren’t you Jasper Chase?” He scratches his chin as he stares at me, cocking his head in examination. “From the Patriots?”

  “Yeah.” I shuffle in place, my load getting a little heavy. “Hey man, I’d be happy to sign something if you want, and even take a picture, but could you tell me first if Megan Lewis is home?”

  “Well, normally I wouldn’t reveal that kind of information, but-” His eyes widen like the reason is obvious. “you’re Jasper Chase!” His voice rises in excitement as he says my name. God damn. Any other time this wouldn’t bother me at all, but I’m nervous as hell showing up here without telling her and just want to get this part over with. “But, yes, Ms. Lewis is home. Should I announce you?”

  “No, she’s expecting me.” One little white lie wasn’t going to hurt. “Can you just get the elevator for me?” I look down at my full hands, hoping the reason for the assist is obvious.

  “Of course.” He strides over to the elevator, pressing the up arrow, the door opening immediately. “Here you go.” He keeps his hand against one side of the door as I enter, then reaches around the corner to hit the button marked eleven. I smile, taking some small satisfaction in her floor number being the same as my jersey number. I’ll take that as a good omen. “Have a good night Mr. Chase.”

  “Thanks.” I reply, then call out as the doors start to slide shut. “I’ll give you that autograph on the way out!”

  A minute later, the doors slide open and I step out into the hallway. I look in both directions, noting there’s only six doors total, and decide to try going right first. I get lucky, the second door I come to, marked with a B, the apartment letter she wrote down in the information she gave me last weekend. I take a deep breath, steeling myself for whatever happens next, and then use my knuckles to knock on the door. I can barely hear some rustling on the other side of the door, then the view slide moving, snapping closed quickly a second later. Guess she knows I’m here. I hear two locks turning, then the door swings open, Megan standing in the doorway a wide-eyed expression on her face.

  “What in the world are you doing here?” Her hands are planted on her hips, but there’s a wide smile lighting up her expression, so I don’t think she’s mad.

  “I told you I’d be back.” I hold up the bottle of Veuve I have in one hand, then extend the bouquet of roses I have in the other. “I thought maybe we could start over from the beginning?” I shrug, one side of my mouth lifting in a hopeful smile. “Plus, it’s your thirtieth birthday.”

  She wraps her fingers around the roses, sliding them out of my grasp, her lids closing as she brings them to her face and inhales. “These are beautiful.” She opens her eyes and steps back, motioning for me to come in. “It’s a mess. I wasn’t expecting anyone, and thought I had tomorrow morning to clean before Chase gets back.”

  “I don’t care how messy your home is.” I look around, noting that it seems neat as a pin, just like her hotel room back in the day. “I didn’t want to wait any longer to see you. I hope it’s okay that I’m here.”

  “It’s more than okay.” She shuts the door after I walk through, then spins around. “You didn’t go back to California?”

  “No.” I shake my head. “I couldn’t leave. Everything I want and need is here.”

  “Oh.” Her cheeks flush the adorable pink I’ve come to love, her feet shuffling in place.

  “I made reservations at The Palm.” I babble on, my nerves getting the best of me. “It’s different than the one in L.A., but yeah, if you want, we can go.” I shrug, finally shutting my trap when I notice she’s standing in front of me again.

  “I’d rather stay in.” Her voice is low as one corner of her mouth ticks up in a suggestive smile.

  “We can stay in.” We can do whatever the hell you want. Just don’t ask me to leave.

  “We can order take-out.” She suggests, moving across the room now to place the flowers on a counter framing the kitchen. The apartment is a large, rectangle open space, the kitchen on one side, and a huge living room on the other. There are three doors on the far end of the wall, which I assume are bedrooms and a bathroom. It’s decorated in a lot of creams and blues, large area rugs are placed strategically across the shiny wood floors.

  “This is a really nice home.” I tread slowly into the large space until I’m next to Megan at the counter, and hand her the bottle. “Happy Birthday.”

  “Thank you.” She smiles. “But you really didn’t have to bring me anything.” She shrugs. “We all celebrated last weekend.”

  “But I didn’t know it was your birthday, and what’s a birthday without a gift?” My mouth crooks up in a smile.

  “These are beautiful.” She runs a hand down the roses, turning her head to look at them, then swinging it back to me a second later, her mouth dropping open. “Oh!”

  “Those weren’t your presents.” I’m holding out a small, wrapped box, which she takes, her eyes crinkling around the edges as she smiles even wider.

  “You got me a present?” She starts tearing at the paper, her head snapping up to mine when she recognizes the light blue box. “Tiffany’s?” She laughs nervously. “It’s not an engagement ring, right?” Her fingers shaking just a tiny bit as she fumbles with the ribbon.

  “Don’t think we’re quite there.” Yet. I leave that part off, because I don’t want to totally freak her out, but it’s definitely something I can picture with her; forever. It was a feeling I had when we were together four years ago and being with her again is just reinforcing it. She finally gets the ribbon off and lifts the lid to the box, her eyes sweeping up to mine.

  “Jasper, it’s too much.” She traces a finger over the delicate chain of the necklace.

  “It’s not enough.” I step closer to her, pointing to two keys on the chain, one tiny yellow key, and then a larger key with white and yellow diamonds embedded throughout. “Those represent you and Chase to me. You both hold the keys to my heart now. You both decide where we go from here.” I place a finger under her chin and lift it until our gazes lock. “But I’m all in. For whatever you want.”

  She blinks rapidly, her chin starting to tremble under my touch before she surges forward to wrap her arms around my neck in a hug. “You keep saying and doing all the right things. But I’m so scared.” She tightens her hold as she keeps whispering in my ear. “So scared we’re going to mess this up again.”

  “We won’t.” I slide my arms around her, enveloping her
tiny frame in my large one to hold her as close as I can. “We’ll take it slow. One day at a time. And we’ll make sure we talk to each other this time. No matter what. No assumptions. No letting anyone else get between us.” I pull back from her so I can look into her eyes. “I’m not losing you again. And I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you since the moment I ran into you at that hotel in Los Angeles.”

  “Jasper.” Her voice is a surprised whisper as tears start to trickle down her cheeks. “This seems too easy.”

  “What?” I chuckle, my brows shooting up. “None of this has been easy.” I grin down at her. “It’s taken us almost four years to get here.”

  “Good point.” She giggles through the tears, her expression growing more serious when she stops. “I want it all with you Jasper. And I know we have a lot to figure out.” She nods, rolling her eyes to indicate just how much. “But I’m in love with you.” She nods again, tears still falling from her eyes. “I am. And I want to try.”

  My heart swells at her revelation, feeling whole again for the first time in years. I always thought football would be the only thing I needed to feel complete. I had no idea until this very moment how incomplete I was until I heard her say she loves me. She loves me! I sweep her back against me, lowering my mouth against hers, sealing our love with a kiss, knowing that this is just the beginning of the love and happiness to come for us.

  Epilogue

  Nine Months Later…

  “Oh my god! Oh my god! Yay!” I jump up and down, clapping my hands wildly as I look over at Leah and Tyler on one side of me, and Jasper’s family on the other, Chase standing in front of me. “We won! We’re Super Bowl Champions!”